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The Wounded Healer, Henri J.M. Nouwen

Courtesy: Pandora

I did not have anything prepared to write yesterday, hence my lack of posts. In my nightly reading before bed, I came across a reading that strikes me in a certain way so I thought I’d share it with you.

I have been reading Henri J.M. Nouwen’s book “The Wounded Healer” over the past few weeks. You read a little and let it sink in, and then read some more and repeat the process. Last night I read through the last chapter and it spoke to me.

Ministry comes in many forms, how we minister to people and on what level. The book is oriented towards the minister proper, but the themes and stories are universal in my opinion and can work in many an interaction model between any given people.

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The Wounded Healer, Henri J.M. Nouwen
Ministry in Contemporary Society

If ministry is meant to hold the promise of the messiah, then whatever we can learn of the Messiah’s coming will give us a deeper understanding of what is called for in ministry today.

How does our Liberator come? i found an old legend in the Talmud which may suggest to us the beginning of an answer:

Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi came upon Elijah the prophet
while he was standing at the entrance of Rabbi Simeron ben Yohai’s cave … He asked Elijah, “When will the Messiah come?”

Elijah replied, “Go and ask him yourself.”
“Where is he?”
“Sitting at the gate of the city.”

“How shall I know him?”

“He is sitting among the poor covered with wounds.
The others unbind all their wounds at the same time and
then bind them up again. But he unbinds one at a time and
binds it up again, saying to himself, ‘Perhaps I shall be
needed: if so I must be ready so as not to delay for a moment.’ “

Hospitality and community

Ministers who have come to terms with their own loneliness and are at home in their own houses are hosts who offer hospitality to their guests. They give them a friendly space, where they may feel free to come and go, to be close and be distant, to rest and to play, to talk and to be silent, to eat and to fast. The paradox indeed is that hospitality asks for the creation of an empty space, where the guests can find their own souls.

Why is this a healing ministry? it is healing because it takes away the false illusion that wholeness can be given by one to another. It is healing because it does not take away the loneliness and the pain of others, but invites them to recognize their loneliness on a level where it can be shared. Many people in this life suffer because they are anxiously searching for the man or woman, the event or encounter, which will take their loneliness away.

But when they enter a house with real hospitality they soon see that their own wounds must be understood, not as source of despair and bitterness, but as signs that they have to travel on in obedience to the calling sounds of those wounds…

… No minister can save anyone. We can only offer ourselves as guides for fearful people. Yet, paradoxically, it is precisely in this guidance that the first signs of hope become visible. This is so because a shared pain is no longer paralyzing, but mobilizing, when it is understood to be a way to liberation.

When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope.

Through this common search, hospitality becomes community. Hospitality becomes community as it creates a unity based upon the shared confession of our basic brokenness and upon a shared hope. This hope in turn leads us far beyond the boundaries of human togetherness to the One who calls all people away from the land of slavery to the land of freedom. It belongs to the central insight of the Judeo-Christian tradition – that it is the call of God that forms the people of God.

*** *** *** ***

I started this chapter with the story of Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi, who asked Elijah, “When will the Messiah come?” There is an important conclusion to this story. When Elijah had explained to him how he could find the Messiah sitting among the poor at the gates of the city, Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi went to the Messiah and said to him:

“Peace unto you, my master and teacher.”
The Messiah answered, “peace unto you, son of Levi.”
He asked, “When is the master coming?”
“Today,” he answered.
Rabbi Yoshua returned to Elijah, who asked,
“What did he tell you?”
“He indeed has deceived me, for he said ‘Today I am
coming’ and he has not come.”
Elijah said, “This is what he told you: ‘Today if you
would listen to his voice. ‘ “

Even when we know that we are called to be wounded healers, it is still very difficult to acknowledge that healing has to take place today, because we are living at a time when our wounds have become all too visible.

Our loneliness and isolation have become so much a part of our daily experience that we cry out for a Liberator who will take us away from our misery and bring us justice and peace.

To announce, however, that the Liberator is sitting among the poor and that the wounds are signs of hope and that today is the day of liberation, is a step very few can take. But this is exactly the announcement of the wounded healer: “The master is coming – not tomorrow, but today, not next year, but this year, not after our misery is passed, but in the middle of it, not in another place but right here, where we are standing.”

And with a challenging confrontation he says:

O that today you would listen to his voice!
Harden not your heart as at Meribah,
as on that day at Massah in the desert
when they tried me, though they saw
my work. (Psalm 95:7)

If indeed we listen to the voice and believe that ministry is a sign of hope because it makes visible the first rays of light of the coming Messiah, we can make ourselves and others understand that we already carry in us the source of our own search.

Thus ministry can be a witness to the living truth that the wound, which causes us to suffer now, will be revealed to us later as the place where God intimated a new creation.

*** *** *** ***

This is who we are called to be …

Come to the Well …

Courtesy: Joshua Uhl Flickr

We are sitting at (1c) at this hour. A little wet, a little damp. The ice has melted here and there and puddles of water are all over the place. It doesn’t know whether it should snow or not. But we’ve had the errant flakes falling here and there. But snow isn’t in the cards until much later in the week.

It was a usual Tuesday as Tuesday’s go. I was out early, and set up was done well before twenty to six so I had a book to read and my tunes playing. It was a better week for many because our bumper crop of women came early to read their books and have some personal fellowship with their sponsors.

We sat 31 folks – a full crowd. All of our women were accounted for. And Dave was in the chair and we read from the pamphlet “Do you think You’re Different?”

It was a story written by an atheist in recovery. And some might say, how can you get sober and do the steps and still remain an Atheist? The discussion went around the room and for an hours time, everybody sat and actively listened to each other share about their concept of a Higher Power.

There were no right answers, nor any wrong answers. One was not better than the next. Each, in their own way, was an intimate look into the lives of 31 people and how they came to believe that a Power Greater than Themselves restored them to sanity.

One of our women spoke so eloquently by saying:

“That if you tried to explain how AA works to someone on the outside, you would fail. But to her, coming to a meeting is like coming to the well and drawing water for yourself. The well is there, always available for anyone at any time.”

A New Comer – fresh out of Rehab had this to say:

On a quantum level, we are all the atom. Everyone present is part of the whole, and by coming together, by combining all of what we bring to the room, we are all God, as one. We make up what is good and what is right. And we come together to share that with others.

Another friend speaks of the two eternal questions that we ask.

1. What is God ?

2. What happens to us when we die ?

Do we really know who God is? Can we quantify God and with certainty speak about God as something that can be known? Is God knowable? The Bible gives us a certain view of God. From the O.T. where God is all powerful and is one to punish and to keep the Jews wandering through the desert for generations. Then we come to the N.T. and God is made flesh in Jesus – the man at the well who comes to forgive and to comfort, to love and to honor.

Where else can you go to hear such passionate words on a topic that is sacred? You may find this kind of discussion in a church group or in a service. But it is a grace, the rooms of AA. You come and you are present. And just because you are present, you get to partake at the well. And you can take as much as you want, because the well never runs dry. And each time you come to the well from the day you have had outside, you are replenished and restored.

Some call it Good Orderly Direction, or another speaks of this Group of Drunks. Whatever you call it is up to you. But if you read the book, and work your steps at some point you will find your own concept of a Power Greater than Yourself.

My sponsors – sponsor has a specific thought about God.

1. There is a God

2. [You] are not it …

It is very easy for us to over complicate this. But let’s keep it simple.

It is not rare that this topic come up in a meeting – in our sacred space. It is well known that we have had some serious meetings where the discussion is intimate and personal. And for many, it is a safe space to come and to recharge. Nobody is going to attack you with a book or with a dogma or a belief system.

But you will hear that once you turn it over to your higher power, things will change. If you just get out of the way, God can make his presence known to you.

I have sat in St. Leon’s for more than 10 years of Tuesday’s. That’s 52 weeks a year times 10 = That’s 520 Tuesday’s worth of time.

When I came to the room, I had a concept of God from my youth. From my time in seminary. But now, in my mid thirties, I returned to University, and I studied Religion and Theology. On top of getting sober – I was studying God and his many incarnations across the many traditions of the world.

I would come to the meeting and I would wait. And others would come to the meeting and they would wait. And you have to be part of a community over a long period of time, coming to the same space, week in – week out, year in – year out. And when you do that you are present to see the miracle occur. I can tell you that God is real. I have seen God move in our little room over the years.

The way the light changes – the way people come, and they keep coming and eventually they “come to” and you see God move in their lives. And so we follow the newcomer. And we share with them and they keep coming back, and some stay and they get sober. And there is no greater grace or joy than to sit in the room and watch God move amongst us on any given day.

But in order to see it, you have to be present…

And this my friends is how the evening went. All is well in the world. We move on to the rest of the week.

Do you need to come to the well ?

*** *** *** ***

I thought I might add this story to the end of this post about the Man at the Well, since it seems one of my PAGES posts on this topic is missing. I am not sure where it went or why, but here is the scriptural reading from the Gospel of John.

John 4:5-29

New International Version (NIV)

So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?  Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

“I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.  The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

The Disciples Rejoin Jesus

Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?”

Scruff …

Courtesy: H.G.I.B.

He is totally sexy !!!

It is a rainy miserable night. We are sitting at ( 4c ). Hubby actually has the windows open at this hour. It is Monday and I had my first Psychology class this evening (earlier). It seems I am the elder in the room once again. AND there are no tables in the classroom, just those god forsaken chairs with mini desks attached. UGH Kill Me Now !!!

I have more lined up to write about tomorrow because it will be Tuesday and there will be more to write about.

*** *** *** ***

I don’t have a topic to write on. Let’s take a look at Plinky !!!

Are you more likely to tell it like it is, or to hold your tongue?

I am more likely to tell it like it is, provided that I am educated on the points I am trying to make. The open mouth, insert foot, ending is too familiar for many people. Too many people spout all kinds of insanity and stupidity.

There are occasions that I need to tell it like it is, then there are times when words are not necessary …

They say that “silence” is the greatest word you can speak.

I have had the opportunity to practice this in recent weeks. We are responsible for the energy we give out and the energy we bring to ourselves. And in recent times I have chosen to walk away from certain groups/people. And I don’t think I need to give an explanation about my “moving away.” I just do it …

However, if an explanation is necessary I can give one.

In my sobriety today, if I don’t like you or agree with you, I will usually just turn and walk away from you and I do that today. I don’t waste words on people that don’t deserve words.

There are times that I will offer counsel to friends, it has come to pass that when I do step in and share, sometimes I am on a totally different page than the people I am speaking to and it takes more words to explain than I initially intended upon using to make a certain point.

Everybody has their journey. And I must respect that. Everybody has their method and we are not usually privy to people’s methods or journeys. Then they share something and you feel you ought to comment.

1. Do you have something good to share ?
2. Will it be useful for their journey?
3. Are you sharing just to hear yourself speak?
I follow a number of people and I know, well, I think I know when the time is right to say words. Sometimes I am off base and sometimes I am right on. And it all depends on what the topic is and whether I have a vested interest in said person to be able to help them.

So it goes … Usually I keep my counsel, in sobriety. I have on the odd occasion to stuff my feelings in opt not to offend, and that has seriously backfired on me, so I have learned not to stuff …

But when it really matters – the words I am speaking – You will know it. Because I will make it acutely plain that I have a message to get across. I just think it is important that if you are going to speak, then you better be able to look at yourself honestly and be able to share from your self honestly to other people, or you will be wasting words on your ego…

I don’t often get asked to speak. Like I did in December. It is far and few between the opportunities to speak here in the city.

My Blog is my vehicle that I use to speak words. I may not make sense here or there, but for the most part I am educated on what I am speaking about.

I try to say good words. And be supportive and expressive.

In most cases, it is better to hold your tongue, unless it is necessary for you to speak words …Because we know what happens when some try to use words, and they end up utter failures at that …

Because you don’t want to end up, “Opening mouth and inserting feet!!!”

Time, Temptation, Tolerance …

Courtesy: NiqBailey

It is a bitter (-18c / -24 w.c. ) outside. Roads and sidewalks are covered in ice and driving around is a little slower than usual. It was a good night.

Thanks to the availability of Omnivox the Lea Classroom, we got our syllabuses online and therefor with that came our book lists for term. And yesterday morning I was up with the birdies so I decided to go and shop my books. And I was expecting oodles of day students waiting in line for the bookstore, but blessedly nobody was in line at 8:15 in the morning.

I got in and out in a matter of minutes because there were some people waiting to help us. The good thing about shopping early in term is that used books are still on the shelves. I picked up two used textbooks there were not all marked up and bent out of shape. Which saved me an oodle of money. The psych text looks like a fashion magazine with a glossy photo filled cover, it must have been well read and the other text I got used was my Oxford Canadian Atlas for Geography. It was in pristine shape. The Geography text was the only new text I had to buy. And in the end the total purchase was $170.00 … I saved about 45% on used books.

I have high hopes for Geography. I talked to a friend of mine the other day who lives in Alberta and he agreed that it sounded interesting on the whole. He told me that it was (-50c) outside and that water was freezing on contact, quite scary !!!

*** *** *** ***

It is Friday. And I was up early in the day, hubby was at school taking care of business with his contracts and work. I did some farting around on the web and then I decided to go back to bed, since there was nothing on tap for the afternoon.

I was up and ready to go by 7 tonight, and Lizzy came to get me about 7:30 and we headed for the church. Set up was quick and painless and a good number of people showed up for the meeting. I really love the women in our group. I hung out in the kitchen with a friend who had made sandwiches for after the meeting and we chatted and had a good time.

We were missing our Matriarch again this week. She hasn’t been feeling well as of late and we wish her a speedy recovery. **If you read this, we missed you **

Our speaker was well spoken. The chair called him enthusiastic… and that he was. From the beginning of his share he kept mentioning 11 months ago …

So one would think that he was only a little over a year sober. And you would be correct. But he had a total of more than 10 years in, 10 years out, and a recent return to the rooms.

I found it interesting that he said that in year one, you hear How it Works and everything seems new and bright. In year two you hear How it Works and it goes in one ear and may stick, you hear How it works in year three and you begin to grit your teeth, and then in year four you tend to tune How it Works out…

It seemed that sobriety had lost its priority. S – L – I – P …

What was once exciting and new became rote and boring. The meaning behind the words was lost. And coming to a meeting became a chore and not a necessity. And our speaker began to float away, drifting into old places and old behaviors. And what did he do ??? He picked up a glass of wine, then he picked up another and then he found himself the life of the party in a local town bar.

And he began to lie, cheat, and he pissed away what he once had and if nobody knew he was drinking so much the better. But eventually the lies catch up to us, one way or another, they always do. And in the end secrets and lies did him in with his family. And he had to tell the truth.

And so he returned to the rooms, a little more grateful and a lot more attentive. We are only as sick as our secrets. And you never know who is within earshot of you at any give time in your life. And you can only sneak around so much before you get called out.

It was a great share. It made me conscious of my sobriety. And how I need to make meetings and do service and give back, because if we keep it we eventually loose it. We have to constantly give it back and away.

I tell my sponsees and my friends that you have to be part of your sobriety. You’ve done your steps and you know how they work. That you go to meetings early and you listen attentively and at the end of the meeting, if you have something to share with another – you do that. You stay after and you mingle.

Work your steps during your day. You pray and you meditate. If you have something bothering you write it down, call someone, or me if you need to. Do your daily meeting, and at the end of the day you do your daily review and say your nightly prayers. Make use of all these little pieces of wisdom.

I hear it from people here and there. But people are not often heard sharing pearls of wisdom unless you sit them down and are prepared to listen. So I have this collection of pearls I have collected over the years and I make use of them myself and now I share them with my sponsees.

A good night was had by all. We had an 8 year cake at the end and lots of good sandwiches and cake and coffee. Friday nights are always exciting.

What pearls of wisdom can you share with us about life ???

More to come, stay tuned …

Neil Patrick Harris Covers ‘Out’ With His Love Story

Lifted from: DanNation.Org

“There’s something kinetic about him and his being. He’s classically sexy, yet he’s very much a boy in his energy. It’s a great dynamic. When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David’s the antithesis of that. He’s more like Tigger. I’m, in turn, very introspective — the thinker, rather than the doer. I tend to weigh options before making decisions, and David is the polar opposite of that. We’re hyper similar and also incredibly opposite. We share a wardrobe. We have the same shoe size, body size, height, and weight. We’re both Gemini. We both like the idea of family — not a nuclear family, but a social family. Yet, we’re incredibly opposite in the way we process information.”

Neil Patrick Harris on partner David Burtka, in Out magazine.

I love this piece. Hubby and I are very similar. I will have to get a copy of this.

A Blip on the Radar !!!

Courtesy: Rawrdaniel

A couple of weeks ago,  more like last week I am reminded now, We dropped labs for this round of check ups coming the beginning of February. And I know that if they don’t call me before my appointment that all is well. That didn’t happen this time around. Yesterday the clinic called and their panties were all in a wad … or more like it, my doctor had his panties in a wad over a spiking number on my kidney function numbers.

Something was off. They told me I needed to come to the clinic right away to get retested and so last night I went to bed at midnight because I had a 7:50 am wake up call and one of my friends drove me up to the clinic this morning at 08:15 am.

They took my labs and walked them up to the lab and they told me that I would have to wait to see them back. I wasn’t waiting there for three hours. My friend came back and picked me up and we went to a coffee shop in NDG owned by a member and we had coffee and conversation while we waited for the labs to come back.

Now you know what STAT means right ??? RIGHT the FUCKING NOW !!!

I finally got word from the clinic around 11:20 while we were at the coffee shop that the numbers were back in normal territory and not to worry. That they would call me later on this afternoon to give me the rest of the update because the lab was running so far behind. So much for a fucking STAT order …

Last night I ruminated for hours in bed trying to figure out what could be causing this numerical spike because kidney function is not something that blips on the radar very often if ever so I knew that something was off, but you live this long and you wait for the other shoe to drop.

One of my doctors once told me that HIV would not kill me that something else would. And this would have been one occasion that I entertained that thought waiting for an odd ball lab result to correct itself.

I tell you, the older my doc gets the freakier and touchier he gets when dealing with my labs, since I am one of his star patients. He has to keep me alive to live another year to make sure the meds he is using still work.

All’s well that ends well.

I got to spend some quality time with a friend and he was gracious in sitting with me while I waited for news. So thank you. I know you are going to read this.

I am grateful for you.

Until later tonight …

Doorways …

Courtesy: Stormyspics

What a messy day it has been. First a little snow, that fell all day into the night. It was snowing when I left for the church and I was covered in snow by the time I got there. I had to make a few stops on the way at the mall on the way.

Numbers tend to fluctuate when the weather is dicey. Weather is the biggest excuse we hear when numbers are low. Oh, it’s too hot and I walked by a terrace and I had to stop. or Oh, it is too cold and snowing that I could not make it…

I bet you went to any length to get a drink in the winter.

BUT, I cranked out set up and had plenty of time to relax before the meeting, I was hoping to see my groupies show up early to read their books, but no one came. We were missing a good number of people. On the flip side, we had good numbers. We sat 25 around the circle. A number of old timers came to see my sponsor take his 22 year cake. The room was full of experience, strength and hope.

We had some newbies there for their first meeting. And we shared on a story from the back of the 4th Edition … “Me an alcoholic???” Lots of identifying, and the whole circle got in to share.

We are up another member tonight. And we had two milestones. One member took his 6 month chip from me and he asked me to temp sponsor him. And secondly my sponsor took his 22 year cake. He is an amazing man. He is unassuming and quiet. He doesn’t bang you with the book, but he gives sound and sane advice. That’s why people respect him so much as I do. He’s never given me a bad bit of advice and he has helped me through some serious events in my sobriety.

Since our group is growing so big, we began to offer temporary sponsorship to our guests. We used to do that many years ago, but that kind of died, and has been revived since our group is growing and we have a bumper crop of newbies in the hall each week.

School starts tomorrow night… UGH !! Kill me now !!! Hopefully this choice of Geography will be a hit and not a miss. I hope the experience will be of use and not a waste of time. I have psychology on Monday nights. This is just something to keep me busy and out of the house for a few hours each week.

The snow turned to rain as the meeting began. And it is cold, so there was a solid layer of ice on the van windows when we left to come home, so we had to scrape windows before we set off. And it is supposed to rain into the night. UGH !!!

Not much else to report here. More to come, stay tuned…

I just want to be happy …

Courtesy:Rawrdaniel

Two posts in one night, not unheard of, but still …3 a.m. Thought bubble.

It was an Oprah kind of night. And tonight’s Master Class was Goldie Hawn. I really enjoy these little Master Classes, because I can watch them and really identify and utilize some of the things they speak about.

Her first words … I just want to be happy, was a goal. It was something she wanted to do. It was all very ideal and perfect, then life happened.

I wanted all those ideal things too. A family, 2.5 children, a home, a dog or two and the ideal life. All those things you learned in Home Economics about the American Dream. I thought my parents had it. And they did have it.

And when I grew up, I thought that I would have it too. Then life happened. I went where the wind took me and I ended up here. And I was ready to start building. I think I needed a little more time to mature, that’s why it took me so long to figure out that I wanted to be happy. It is a very simple recipe. But it didn’t happen until I was well into my 30′s to figure it out.

And now I am in my 40′s and I think I am relatively happy. There is nothing that I don’t need. I am content with what I have today and I need nothing more. I live my life, I do what I can, I serve my community and my marriage. And everything comes back full circle. Because it is in giving that we receive. The road map came courtesy of the program…

Throughout her storytelling she spoke about a road map, and what she learned from her father. To be grounded in life. Not to get too big for your britches… And if you think you are going there, to be reminded that you are here in this moment. and that’s what life is “a series of moments” strung together, and one moment is not more important than the next.

Awards and accolades are nice to get. But they are in but a moment of time. She spoke of not living off the award or accolade, but living true to ones self. Living in the moment. Savoring each moment.

I learned some things from my father as well. He was a good teacher on a good day and he did share somethings along the way. I learned how to take care of a home from the inside out. How to make an honest dollar, and he was the man of the house and there was no other to learn from but him.

He was a man of his times. And not much growth came of that time. He was set in his ways and that was that and that’s how he remained for the rest of my life. Nothing new under the sun.

But what defines us? What makes us “US?”

I am who I am because of my morals, and my integrity. I am me because of what I have learned in this life, and what I have to give back. All the lessons I have learned in as many years are evident in the way I speak to others, how I treat them and how I treat my husband in my own marriage.

There are a multitude of people who have taught me about myself. Years of self education and reeducation came at a high cost. We are all works in progress.

What do I know about myself ? I know a lot.

Goldie says that there is a gift in growing older … There is a surprise…

When we grow older, the surprise is what we still have to contribute to the world around us. As long as we are living and breathing we have the opportunity to give back to the world something we have been given.

And that is the SURPRISE !!!

That we can give back, until that time we decide to stop. And we expire.

We may not all be young and perky but we are older adults who now have an opportunity to give back the gifts that were given and taught to us in our lives, because there are plenty of people out there who need to hear what we have to say. Because everyone has something special to say. We all have that gift, our life. And life is not to be taken for granted. In every life there comes a time when we have reached a point that we are ready to put it all out there.

We do that in the program. We give what was freely given to us. We serve, we speak, we thank, and we serve some more. Service is a never ending process.

Who are you ? What makes you “YOU ?”

And what do you have to give back ??? Ok, then go and do it …

Sunday Gifts …

Courtesy: Rawrdaniel

It is a very cold night. And it has been frigidly cold over the past few days since the snow fell on Friday. The temps plummeted on Saturday and they are still in negative territory. We are sitting at (-17c / -25c w.c.) … brrrrr…

It seems that another snow event is in the works for later in the week. And this has been confirmed by CTV weather.

It has been a hit and miss weekend. It is the last weekend before classes begin this week. It will be psychology and geography this term. There wasn’t much to choose from the menu of classes that were offered this term. It is year two so choices are slim.

I want to give a shout out to all my new subscribers. Welcome to you all and I hope that you enjoy these little witty posts and insights into my life. There is a wealth of information for you to dine on. Years of posts, the calendar year 2011 saw 26,000 hits to the blog. One of my friends who is a professional writer got over 95,000 hits over the past year. I can aim and dream can’t I?

You will find the archives of all my posts over on the sidebar. I am heading towards the 3,000 post mark. If you want to read the most important pieces of writing I have done, check out the PAGES over on the sidebar as well. If it was important and a critical piece of writing it is on that list over on the right.

You can search by category, topic and date. That should keep you busy for days and days. As a blog is a work in progress, I write several times during the week, and once classes begin, I will add to that weekly quota.

I always welcome feedback and your insights as well. I love to write for my readers and if you have something that you would like me to write on, please feel free to contact me via email or leave a comment on the blog here, and I will respond. At tonight’s writing there are 34 blog subscribers and 5 email subscribers. For most of you who have a blog who follow here, I do follow you back, or in some cases, like Chaz, we have been reading each other for a long time now.

It is good to hear from my readers. I got a phone call from a reader this evening as I was sitting in front of the tube watching the Golden Globes. It seems he is enjoying this endeavor of my writing. It is as I have said, a work in progress.

Oh, yeah, what was it I was going to write about tonight…

I got a present from Word Press today. I was so surprised !!! I have a second blog that is private and by invitation only. It is the blog that I used before opening this one, so all of the information is the same. But anyways, what was I saying, ah yes, the gift … I got a 5 mb space upgrade for my image files.

All for free … I didn’t have to pay for it. So thank you Word Press.

I could use a space upgrade for this blog as well. I still have plenty of upgrade space still to use. I just renewed this domain for another year. So we are good to go until May 2013.

It has been a regular Sunday night. Yes we watched the Golden Globes. No I haven’t seen many of the movies – movies are expensive. A movie date for two with frills costs more than $40.00. So we don’t often go to the movies …

We’ll see how many Globe winners go on to win the Oscar !!!

I’m in touch, so you be in touch. Welcome aboard …

Friday snow day …

Courtesy: Flickr Janekrat

We are sitting at (-6c) at this hour, as Montreal begins to dig out from more than a foot of snow that fell throughout the day today. It has been a dicey day on the roads for many trying to get around amid a blowing snow storm, this was the first really big snow event of the season. We’ve had little snow here and there but nothing that dumped this much snow on the city.

We have spent the better part of two days scrubbing and cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. A few days ago, our next door neighbor found bed bugs in clothing in their apartment, and reported that to the office which then led to a mandatory cleaning/scrubbing/fumigation effort on three floors, the one  above, ours and the one below.

The apartment hasn’t had this level of cleaning in a while. We were up first thing this morning and waited for the men to come and do the deed. They came this morning and doused the apartment in poison spray. They doused the mattress top and bottom, and even the bed frame. They took it all apart and made sure they covered all the bases. They sprayed all the rooms and went from apartment to apartment. And in the end the apartment across the hall from us, showed a positive infestation of bed bugs, and since he did not prep for the spraying, he will be charged for the team that came in and cleansed his apartment.

We do not know how the bugs got into the building. If they came in via the mattress delivery team that dropped a mattress next door a couple of weeks ago, nor do we know how long our other neighbor has been harboring the little beasts.

But we haven’t seen a bug in our apartment in forever. So they did not have to douse all of the furniture.

We did a comprehensive laundry day washing all the bed linens and towels from the bathroom. We had to wait four hours before we could remake the bed and set it back in place, because it was all in pieces after the spray.

I only got a few hours of sleep last night, and with the excitement of the day, I did not get to take a nap until almost 4, and I had to be out of the house at 6:30 to take the train/bus out to the meeting because Lizzy decided not to brave the roads, as did many tonight, we only had a 35 person head count for the meeting tonight.

I got to the church around 7:15 and got the urns perking and set up the chairs, I set them all out because people usually sit in the same seats week in and week out. It was a good meeting. The artist spoke and I got to thank him.

We cleaned up the hall and a friend gave me a ride home instead of taking the train back into downtown. At first he was going to drop me at the metro and because we were chatting in the car, he drove past the stop and decided to take me all the way here.

The plows are all out working through the night cleaning up the snow that fell today. It is quite beautiful out. It snowed all throughout the set up/meeting. And when we left the hall the plow was clearing the church of the snow that had piled up.

A good night was had by all.

Only the brave and die hard members showed up tonight. It was good to get to a meeting and to have the space open for our folk tonight.

Time for din din. The news is on and I am pooped …

Goodnight from Montreal.

 

We want a Canadian Divorce please !!! Update 13Jan12

Courtesy: Flickr 21lau_z

What a bru-ha-ha it has been today.

Are you married or are you not? Does Canada acknowledge your marriage as legal and binding if you live elsewhere other than in Canada? Did the government nullify more than 15,000 gay marriages that have been performed in Canada since the law went into effect in 2004? The Government says it isn’t opening the marriage debate again, but what is it going to do with you all who want divorces???

This story is still evolving. From CTV News:

Sonja Puzic, CTVNews.ca

Date: Thu. Jan. 12 2012 11:30 PM ET

The federal government is considering changes to the law that will make it easier for foreign same-sex couples who married in Canada to obtain divorces, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said Thursday.

Nicholson also stressed the government has no intention of reopening the same-sex marriage debate after a day of confusion over the validity of marriage licences issued in Canada to same-sex couples from abroad.

Ottawa was pressed to clarify its position on gay marriage after an apparent about-face on the issue surfaced in a Toronto divorce case.

A lesbian couple who married in Canada seven years ago and recently filed for divorce was told by a Department of Justice lawyer that their marriage was not legal.

The stated reason was that because the partners live in Florida and England, where same-sex marriage remains illegal, their Canadian union was invalid too.

The case threw into question thousands of marriages non-residents entered into since 2004, when same-sex marriage became legal in Canada under a Liberal government.

In a statement, Nicholson said the issue centres on dissolution of marriages performed in Canada.

Non-resident couples who marry here must live in Canada for one year before they can legally divorce. The lesbian couple at the centre of the controversy has launched a constitutional challenge of that provision in the Ontario Superior Court of Justice.

Nicholson said he will be “looking at options to clarify the law so that marriages performed in Canada can be undone in Canada.”

In an interview with CTV’s Power Play, Nicholson’s parliamentary secretary Kerry-Lynne Findlay said the Canadian marriages of non-resident same-sex couples are legal in Canada.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper had little to say Thursday other than relate his government’s reluctance to wade back into a same-sex marriage debate.

“We have no intention further of opening or reopening this issue,” Harper told reporters gathered for a shipbuilding agreement announcement in Halifax.

“This, I gather, is a case before the courts where Canadian lawyers have taken particular positions based on the law. But I will be asking officials to provide me more details with this particular case.”

Opposition parties and critics quickly weighed in on the issue, accusing the prime minister of trying to rewrite Canada’s same-sex marriage laws “in stealth.”

In a statement, Egale Canada, a human rights organization advocating equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities, called the apparent flip-flop “a direct insult to gays and lesbians both in Canada and abroad.”

If the federal lawyer’s arguments in the Toronto divorce case are a misunderstanding, Harper should make that clear, NDP MP Olivia Chow said.

With files from Kieron Lang and The Canadian Press

We shall see where this story goes. It was all over the news tonight. All those people came to Canada to get married and have that joyous moment in their lives. And now I fear that we are beginning to see just how long those marriages lasted, as this is probably not the last divorce case we will see come from abroad.

I mused earlier that you came all this way to get married, and you spent all that money on that day. And now you want a divorce. What to do??? They say in gay circles that lesbians mate for life. I guess that’s not really true any more.

I guess you all got caught up in the woo hoo about being able to get married so you came here and cashed in your relationship chips for a marriage license.

From Wiki:

Six state governments (along with the District of Columbia, the Coquille Indian Tribe, and the Suquamish tribe) have passed laws offering same-sex marriage: New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire. In all six states, same-sex marriage has been legalized through legislation or court ruling. Same-sex marriage has been legal in Massachusetts since May 17, 2004; in Connecticut since November 12, 2008;[13] in Iowa since April 27, 2009; in Vermont since September 1, 2009; New Hampshire since January 1, 2010; and New York since July 24, 2011.In 2009, New England became the center of an organized push to legalize same-sex marriage, with four of the six states in that region granting same-sex couples the legal right to marry.

And now couples are starting to figure out that they really don’t want to be married any more. And we could speculate on just what the reasons are that a couple would want a dissolution of marriage.

As good gays and lesbians we are supposed to show up the heterosexuals and prove to them that we can marry and stay together longer and truer than our straight counterparts.

Marriage in celebrity circles has become a mockery and a joke. What have they done to the institution of marriage for all of us ???

This whole push to legalize gay marriage nationwide in the United States is going to come up eventually in the campaign race. They just haven’t gotten around to it yet, but rest assured those Christians who want to see us damned are going to make sure their chosen candidate does all he can to stop gay marriage from being passed across the rest of the 44 states.

Why did you come here and get married then gone home with that little piece of paper, that got all dusty and forsaken. And now you want a divorce. What a waste. It is very sad to see couples separate for any reason. I just hope it was a good reason and not something stupid like, “oh well, we thought we’d get in on the excitement and really when we came to think about it, we really did not want to abide by our wedding vows, till death do us part …”

So now we want a Canadian divorce because we got a made in Canada marriage.

I Don’t think Canada prepared for this contingency in hindsight.

*** *** *** ***

Ottawa will change law so same sex marriages are valid: Nicholson. 

By The Canadian Press | The Canadian Press
 13 January 2012

TORONTO – The federal justice minister says the government will change the law to ensure gay couples from abroad who marry in Canada will have their unions recognized here.

Rob Nicholson says it’s the government’s view that these marriages “should be valid.”

“We will change the Civil Marriage Act so that any marriages performed in Canada that aren’t recognized in the couple’s home jurisdiction will be recognized in Canada,” Nicholson said Friday during a speech to the Canadian Club of Toronto.

Doubts were raised about the validity of thousands of marriages conducted in Canada for same-sex couples from the United States and elsewhere following a federal twist in a Charter of Rights case launched in Ontario by two foreign women seeking a divorce.

A legal brief filed by federal lawyers denies the women are even legally married.

Critics accused Stephen Harper’s Conservative government of seeking to rewrite the rules on gay marriage to suit its right-wing agenda.

In announcing the government would change the law, Nicholson said Friday that “the confusion and pain resulting from this gap … is completely unfair to those affected.”

Liberal Leader Bob Rae, speaking to reporters at the party’s policy convention in Ottawa, responded to Nicholson by lamenting, “Oh please, give me a break.”

“These guys specialize in trying to turn the tables,” Rae said of the Harper Conservatives.

“The only gap is the gap between the heads of Conservative cabinet ministers who have failed to live up the best and finest traditions of Canada with respect to our positions of tolerance,” Rae added.

The couple seeking a divorce, identified in court records only by initials to protect their privacy, were married in Toronto in December 2005 and separated two years ago. One lives in Clearwater, Fla., the other in London, England.

Their marriage is not recognized either in Florida or the United Kingdom. As a result, they are unable to obtain a divorce in their home cities.

The couple also faced a barrier to divorce in Ontario — a requirement that at least one of them live in the province for a year or more. They have launched a constitutional challenge of that provision in the Ontario Superior Court of Justice.

Working Wednesday …

Courtesy:Elleusine

EDNA MODE !!! We Just Love her …

There are Christmas trees still up and lit in the Pepsi Forum today. And the Christmas decorations are still up at Alexis Nihon Plaza right up the street from home. I don’t know how long they will be up seeing the holidays are over, which leads me to today’s entry.

Last night after the meeting I had to do some supermarket safari. I got what I needed and headed for the express check out. And it was a busy night. I see the same people whenever I go to Provigo. Downtown shopping is different that suburbia shopping.

For most people, you shop for a few days or maybe a weeks time. We, on the other hand, shop sometimes daily. We don’t keep lots of food unless we buy bulk, when it is available. And that can be hit and miss depending on the stock in the store.

But that’s not what I am focusing on at the moment. We are a few days into the New Year and the holidays ended just a few days ago. And I have to say that the stock elves have been very busy as of late transforming store shelves to the next big holiday or two on the calendar.

I am standing in line last night and the impulse purchase wall is right there in front of the cash. And they hit both of them in one fell swoop. There were nice heart shaped boxes of Valentines Day candy along side boxes of “Chocolate Bunnies” for Easter, which doesn’t come until the 8th of April.

I mean, really…

Really …

REALLY !!!

I think they expect us to start stocking up on and eating massive amounts of candy over the next few months, you think???

*** *** *** ***

It is a cold day in the neighborhood. We are sitting at a brisk (-12c/w.c. -21c).

I spent some time working with others this afternoon at my favorite deli here at the mall. It was time well spent. Working steps are important. And I am grateful for the time to spend with friends.

Nothing else is planned for tonight.

Talk to you soon. Good evening from Montreal.

Tainted Saint: Mother Teresa Defended Pedophile Priest

This article is raising all kinds of fire on all sides of the argument. Anne Rice posted this on her FACEBOOK PAGE. And it has garnered over 300 comments in just a few hours of being up. Whether the allegations are true or not, one thing remains, can the letters written on Missionaries of Charity letterhead be those of Mother Teresa? The jury is out on that question.

I’ve read her case for sainthood and I can tell you that Mother Teresa can be blind to all things except service to Jesus. Whether she understood the severity of the charges and whether she turned a blind eye like John Paul II did during his papacy could be contested.

Did she know what pedophilia meant? I mean did she understand the concept or could she really fathom that a servant of God could do such a thing? Because above all John Paul II always defended his priests to the death of them. He believed in vocation to a fatal flaw. He’d rather overlook a flaw then point a finger at one of his priests, which only exacerbated this issue to get to where it is today.

John Paul II was a great statesman. He could pull off a smile for the public and when he got behind closed doors he was known to lambaste whoever was in his line of fire. And this happened on many occasions throughout his papacy.

Mother Teresa was a woman of faith in Catholic Hierarchy. There are several other allegations mentioned in the piece below that cast aspersions on the good name of Mother Teresa. Like hoarding money from world dictators and that she supported people who are not thought to be savory. And that the care she offered was below par and unacceptable. All these allegations are written to incite the reader to choose a position and not look at other factors of the lives involved.

Should you trust the writer of this piece?

I would contend that this is an attention piece aimed at Mother Teresa as the process for sainthood progresses. You could naturally remove her from this article and the allegations of pedophilia stand on their own. She just happens to be mentioned in the correspondences, and it is assumed that it is she that was directly involved in the protection of a pedophile.

What do you believe and who do you believe??? That is up to the reader. But unless you have studied this subject, religion, saints, and sainthood to the degree that I have, what you believe is entirely up to you.

I always state from the start that if you comment, you better know what you are talking about and can back it up in education or fact. Two degrees, one in Religion and a second in Theology give me a leg up here. That is fact…

I have my issues with Mother Teresa. She has angered me, blessed me and made me believe in Jesus more than I ever have and I even tattooed my body to honor her.

Then something like this pops up out of the firmament and asks us to judge her based on some article written with excessive slant and finger pointing and unlike some who would want to taint the life of a woman who is bound to be sainted in the near future, this is just a blip on the radar.

Nobody can prove either way what Mother Teresa knew, and how much she knew and if she knew, why did she turn a blind eye to it? Because like I have said, this woman was blinded by many things. Love of God, Love of Jesus, service to the poor, service to the least of these.

She was blinded by her own dark heart and her own admission of being blind of Jesus for a time in her ministry.That was the one flaw that always angered me about her, that even with eyes to see, much of her ministry was slanted to the poor and to Jesus and in that state you could say she was blinded. She may not have wanted to see, or just couldn’t see or maybe understand.

This was not something known to her in her vernacular and from her time period. Pedophilia was not common knowledge back in her years of education. And I think the Catholic hierarchy kept her in the dark to a degree as well. This is testified in her memoirs for sainthood.

She was kept on a very short leash by the priests she confessed to and those whom she called on to serve her community and her people. She was blinded by service to Jesus, forsaking all others. Could she really be guilty of what they are saying she did?

She is not here to defend herself. It is up to the people and their faith. And in the end only God can judge her. And for all intents and purposes, this will probably not affect her case for sainthood. But could damn the other men involved in this story.

I was going to leave a comment on the page but decided that I would post it here for posterity to see where this goes. I will be watching for more updates on this story.

*** *** *** ***

By Peter Jamison Wednesday, Jan 11 2012

San Francisco Weekly …

The death of journalist and polemicist Christopher Hitchens last month gave those familiar with his work a chance to revisit one of his more controversial subjects: the Albanian nun Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu, better known to the world as Mother Teresa. In his 1997 book, The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice, Hitchens argued that the “Saint of Calcutta,” who founded and headed the international Missionaries of Charity order, enjoyed undeserved esteem.

Despite her humanitarian reputation and 1979 Nobel Peace Prize, Mother Teresa had set up a worldwide system of “homes for the dying” that routinely failed to provide adequate care to patients, Hitchens argued — an appraisal shared by The Lancet, a respected medical journal. Mother Teresa also associated with, and took large sums of money from, disreputable figures such as American savings-and-loan swindler Charles Keating and the dictatorial Duvalier family of Haiti.

Notwithstanding these black marks on an otherwise sterling reputation, Mother Teresa — who died in 1997 and is now on the fast track to a formal proclamation of sainthood by the Vatican — was never known to have been touched by the scandal that would rock the Roman Catholic Church in the decade after her death: the systematic protection of child-molesting priests by church officials.

Yet documents obtained by SF Weekly suggest that Mother Teresa knew one of her favorite priests was removed from ministry for sexually abusing a Bay Area boy in 1993, and that she nevertheless urged his bosses to return him to work as soon as possible. The priest resumed active ministry, as well as his predatory habits. Eight additional complaints were lodged against him in the coming years by various families, leading to his eventual arrest on sex-abuse charges in 2005.

The priest was Donald McGuire, a former Jesuit who has been convicted of molesting boys in federal and state courts and is serving a 25-year federal prison sentence. McGuire, now 81 years old, taught at the University of San Francisco in the late 1970s, and held frequent spiritual retreats for families in San Francisco and Walnut Creek throughout the 1980s and 1990s. He also ministered extensively to the Missionaries of Charity during that time.

In a 1994 letter to McGuire’s Jesuit superior in Chicago, it appears that Mother Teresa acknowledged she had learned of the “sad events which took [McGuire] from his priestly ministry these past seven months,” and that McGuire “admitted imprudence in his behavior,” but she wished to see him put back on the job. The letter was written after McGuire had been sent to a psychiatric hospital following an abuse complaint to the Jesuits by a family in Walnut Creek.

“I understand how grave is the scandal touching the priesthood in the U.S.A. and how careful we must be to guard the purity and reputation of that priesthood,” the letter states. “I must say, however, that I have confidence and trust in Fr. McGuire and wish to see his vital ministry resume as soon as possible.”

The one-page letter comes from thousands of pages of church records that have been shared with plaintiffs’ attorneys in ongoing litigation against the Jesuits involving McGuire. (The documents were also shared with prosecutors who worked on his criminal cases.) It is printed on Missionaries of Charity letterhead but is unsigned, and thus cannot be verified absolutely as having been written by Mother Teresa. Officials in the Missionaries of Charity and the Jesuits did not respond to requests for comment on its provenance.

Yet statements throughout the letter point to Mother Teresa as the author. The writer speaks of “my communities throughout the world” and refers by name to Mother Teresa’s four top deputies, calling them “my four assistants.” Rev. Joseph Fessio, a Jesuit and former University of San Francisco professor who knew Mother Teresa, said the reference to her assistants is an “authentic” aspect of the letter.

The letter could have an impact on the near-complete process of canonizing Mother Teresa. In 2003 she was beatified by Pope John Paul II, the penultimate step to full sainthood.

“What we see here is the same thing we see over and over in regard to the [priest pedophilia] scandal — the complete lack of empathy for, or interest in, possible victims of these accused priests,” said Anne Rice, the bestselling author of novels including Interview with the Vampire and a former Catholic who has been outspoken in her criticism of the church’s handling of the sex-abuse scandal. “In this letter the concern is for the reputation of the priesthood. This is as disappointing as it is shocking.”

Other documents that have emerged in the criminal and civil cases involving McGuire could affect the sainthood prospects of another deceased religious leader eyed by the Vatican for sainthood. Among the newly uncovered church records are letters by Rev. John Hardon, a Jesuit who also worked extensively with Mother Teresa and died in 2000. He collaborated with then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, on the Catechism of the Catholic Church, a landmark summation of contemporary church doctrine. In 2005, the Vatican opened a formal inquiry into whether Hardon should be made a saint.

But statements by Hardon in his letters could complicate that process. The documents reveal McGuire admitted to Hardon that he was taking showers with the teenage boy from Walnut Creek whose complaint led to McGuire’s psychiatric treatment. He also acknowledged soliciting body massages from the boy and letting him read pornography in the room they shared on trips together.

Despite these admissions, Hardon concluded that his fellow Jesuit’s actions were “objectively defensible,” albeit “highly imprudent,” and told McGuire’s bosses that he “should be prudently allowed to engage in priestly ministry.”

The postulators, or Vatican-appointed researchers and advocates for sainthood, assigned to investigate Mother Teresa and Hardon did not respond to repeated requestsfor comment.

While it is unclear exactly what impact the new documents will have on the evaluation of both figures for sainthood, the evidence of involvement by two prominent and internationally respected Catholics in the McGuire sex-abuse scandal is likely to cause consternation among critics of the church’s handling of predator priests. The situation is aggravated since McGuire went on to abuse more children after suggestions to return him to ministry were heeded.

“We’re talking about extremely powerful people who could have gotten Father McGuire off the streets in 1994,” said Patrick Wall, a lawyer and former Benedictine monk who performs investigations on behalf of abuse victims suing the Catholic Church. “I’m thinking of all those post-’94 kids who could have been saved.”


It is unknown exactly when Hardon, McGuire, and Mother Teresa first crossed paths. But chances are good that the first time they all found themselves together in the same place was in San Francisco in 1981. It was the 800th anniversary of the birth of Saint Francis of Assisi, the city’s namesake. Hardon invited Mother Teresa, who attended celebratory services at which she was introduced to McGuire, according to Fessio, who was present.

Fessio, who today heads the Ignatius Press, a Catholic publishing house in the Sunset District, said Mother Teresa was impressed by McGuire’s reputation as an erudite, engaging preacher. She arranged to have him perform retreats — based on the Spiritual Exercises by Saint Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuit order — for her missionaries around the world. “She was always looking for priests to say mass for the different places in the world where she had missions,” Fessio recalled.

In McGuire, she found a priest whose strict adherence to traditional Catholic practices matched her own views. Mother Teresa was an extreme conservative on questions of religious doctrine. She declared during her speech accepting the Nobel Peace Prize that abortion was “the greatest destroyer of peace” in the modern world. McGuire was likewise stoutly orthodox in his public persona, requesting that women wear long skirts in his presence and often assailing other Jesuits for their relatively tolerant approaches to political and social issues.

Some insight into the reverence the Missionaries of Charity held for McGuire and his retreats and sermons can be gleaned from letters sent to Wisconsin Circuit Court Judge James Carlson, who oversaw the trial that resulted in McGuire’s first conviction in 2006.

Sister Nirmala, Mother Teresa’s successor as the superior general of the Missionaries of Charity, wrote, “He was one of the very few priests to whom … Teresa of Calcutta entrusted the spiritual care of the Missionaries of Charity through retreats, seminars and spiritual guidance wherever possible.”

Sister Mary Christa, another nun with the Missionaries of Charity, wrote, “Father’s immense love for Jesus Christ radiated brilliantly through his every word and gesture, and his whole concern was to inspire the Sisters with a more intense desire for holiness. His wisdom, immense knowledge of Holy Scripture, and saintly manner of life made a profound impression on all of us.”

But McGuire’s holy veneer concealed signs of a dark side that were already evident to select church officials long before he met Mother Teresa.

Documents that have emerged in the criminal prosecution of McGuire and civil litigation against the Jesuits over his actions show that suspicions about the priest were brought to his higher-ups beginning soon after his ordination in 1961. During his first teaching assignment, at Loyola Academy in Wilmette, Ill., he molested at least two boys, whose cases led to his first criminal conviction decades later.

The Jesuits, who have formally apologized to McGuire’s victims for failing to adequately control the priest, have nevertheless asserted in legal filings that they should not be held liable for the harm he did to children during his career. In a June 2011 motion in a lawsuit filed against the Chicago Province of the Society of Jesus, the order’s lawyers asserted that McGuire is “an evil and perverted man who used his substantial intellectual gifts and his dominating personality to disobey every tenet of his faith and his vows as a cleric.”

(SF Weekly reported on the Jesuits’ failure to protect children from McGuire in a previous cover story, “Let Him Prey” [5/25/11].)

One of the best-documented instances of abuse in McGuire’s record is one in which neither the victim nor his family chose to pursue litigation against the church. Jesuit records show that in April 1993, a devout Catholic man in Walnut Creek came forward with the complaint that his 16-year-old son, who traveled with McGuire as his personal assistant, had looked at pornographic magazines, showered, and masturbated with the priest.

Following this complaint, McGuire was removed from active ministry and sent to Saint John Vianney Center, a psychiatric-treatment facility for clerics in Pennsylvania. It was there that Hardon — whom the victim’s family had requested investigate their allegations — interviewed McGuire and chose to exonerate him. After six hours of face-to-face talks at the hospital, Hardon wrote to McGuire in a January 1994 letter, “I firmly expressed my belief in your innocence of any sexual misbehavior.”

McGuire returned to his order at the beginning of 1994, but his future, including the extent to which he would be allowed to interact with families and children as a priest, was still unclear. Hardon’s letter to McGuire reveals that the errant Jesuit still worried that the sex-abuse allegations lodged against him would mar his prospects for continued work with Mother Teresa, work that considerably enhanced McGuire’s prestige among other Catholics to whom he ministered.

“You expressed your deep fear that despite your proven innocence of all charges, somehow you would nevertheless not be allowed to continue your retreat ministry to Mother Teresa’s sisters,” Hardon wrote. At the conclusion of his letter, Hardon indicated that the matter would soon be resolved in direct consultation with the “Saint of Calcutta” herself.

“And so, Don, this is the state of the question on this eve of my departure for Calcutta, India, where, with your permission, I will be communicating with Mother Teresa about your situation and your future,” he wrote.


A letter written less than a month later, on Feb. 2, 1994, appears to contain an answer to the questions about his future with the Missionaries of Charity that dogged McGuire after his release from treatment at Saint John Vianney. It is addressed to Brad Schaeffer, Provincial, or head, of the Chicago section of the Jesuits. (While McGuire’s ministry took him across the U.S. and into foreign countries, he was officially under the supervision of the Jesuits’ Chicago Province.)

The letter is not signed, though it begins with a handwritten salutation in Mother Teresa’s characteristic looping script. It is unclear whether additional pages are missing from the document, or whether the writer simply failed to attach a signature. Clues throughout the letter, however, indicate that Mother Teresa is the author. The writer refers to “my communities throughout the world” and praises McGuire’s preaching to “my novices in our new novitiate in San Francisco” in 1982. (Novices are aspiring nuns who have not yet taken vows.)

More significantly, the writer refers to “my four assistants, Sisters Mary Frederick, Priscilla, Monica and Joseph Michael.” In 1994, the councilors general of the Missionaries of Charity — a group of four senior nuns who directly advised Mother Teresa, and were subordinate to no one else in the order — were Sisters Frederick, Priscilla, Monica, and Joseph Michael (Upon taking vows, nuns sometimes assume the names of male religious figures).

“That’s authentic, mentioning those people,” Fessio said. “Those were herfour councilors.”

(View the original letter, and other documents mentioned in this story in the “details” box.)

Nuns at the primary U.S. office of the Missionaries of Charity, in New York City, referred all questions related to McGuire to the Mother Teresa Center in San Ysidro, Calif. Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, postulator for the sainthood cause of Mother Teresa and director of the center, did not respond to calls and e-mails seeking comment.

Schaeffer, the letter’s recipient, is now the rector of a Jesuit community in Brighton, Mass., and serves on the board of trustees of Boston College. He did not respond to phone messages. The Chicago Province of the Jesuits also did not respond to requests for comment.

If Mother Teresa did write the letter to Schaeffer, it is unclear how much she learned about the circumstances under which McGuire was disciplined. The letter states, “During his recent visit to Calcutta in the past month, Fr. John Hardon, S.J., brought a letter to me from Fr. McGuire, describing the sad events which took him from his priestly ministry these past seven months. Fr. Hardon explained … how he had established Father’s innocence of the allegations against him. Father Hardon said that Fr. McGuire admitted imprudence in his behavior.”

SF Weekly could not obtain the letter written by McGuire that is mentioned, or find anyone who had seen it. Following the exhortation that McGuire be returned to active ministry, the Missionaries of Charity letter concludes, “We, in the Missionaries of Charity, will do all in our power, to protect him and the Priesthood of Jesus Christ which he bears, when he once more takes up his mission with us.”

Tariq Ali, the British intellectual who produced and co-wrote with Hitchens the sharply critical 1994 documentary film on Mother Teresa, Hell’s Angel, said the letter fit with what he described as the nun’s pattern of consorting with dubious personalities.

Among the problems chronicled in Hell’s Angel were substandard care for the poor who filled her hospitals, and her willingness to accept money from notorious figures such as Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier of Haiti, who presided over a brutally repressive regime under which most Haitians lived in abject poverty. Duvalier’s own lifestyle was luxurious, thanks to revenue from his participation in the drug trade and practice of selling dead Haitian citizens’ cadavers overseas. Mother Teresa once posed for a photograph holding hands with Duvalier’s wife, Michèle.

“When Christopher Hitchens and I made the film on her, the research was impeccable,” Ali said. “She was close to dictators. She took money wherever she could. The care in her hospitals was poor. It was just one nightmare after another. From that time on, I saw her as a total fake,” Ali said. The letter, he added, “would only be surprising if one saw her as a moral person, and I don’t.”

Anne Sebba, a biographer of Mother Teresa, said the founder of the Missionaries of Charity had never before been tainted by knowing involvement with a pedophile priest. However, she said the nun’s response to criticism of her coziness with figures such as the Duvaliers and savings-and-loan scamster Charles Keating — for whom she pleaded for leniency during his trial and eventual conviction on fraud charges — was that she was practicing forgiveness in line with Christian ideals.

“Her answer was always that any miserable sinner deserved to be given a chance to do good,” Sebba said. “She argued that Jesus always offered redemption, and no sinner was beyond redemption.”

In McGuire, Mother Teresa encountered a challenge to that belief. After his return to ministry in 1994, McGuire would see eight new abuse allegations lodged against him by boys’ families. In 2006, he was found guilty of molesting two boys decades earlier at the Loyola Academy. In 2008, he was convicted in federal court of taking a boy across state lines for the purpose of sexually abusing him. According to federal prosecutors, McGuire probed the boy’s anus with his fingers during “massages,” examined his penis with a magnifying glass, and looked at pornography with him.

McGuire has maintained his innocence of the charges against him, asserting that his victims fabricated stories to secure financial settlements from the Jesuits. His Chicago-based lawyer, Stephen Komie, said that McGuire’s appeals of his state and federal convictions were unsuccessful, however. “He’s going to die in prison, absent a pardon, and I don’t think that’s in the cards,” Komie said.

The father of the Walnut Creek boy whose abuse allegation prompted McGuire’s psychiatric treatment in 1993 said the information in the new documents is unfortunate, but not shocking. “That McGuire fooled Father Hardon and Mother Teresa like he did so many others is disappointing, but not a surprise,” he said. “It shows that a person doesn’t have to be a mind-reader in order to be a saint.”

A second Walnut Creek man who says McGuire abused him as a child, and who is participating in a lawsuit against the Jesuits, reacted to the letter that might be from Mother Teresa more strongly.

“I was totally blown away by it,” said the man, who is identified in court records only as John Doe 129 and whom SF Weekly is not identifying by name because he is an alleged victim of childhood sexual abuse. “I just don’t know how somebody supposedly so saintly, supposedly such a protector of the weak and the poor, could be so indifferent to it,” he said.


Hardon’s letter to McGuire, as well as the letter that appears to have been written by Mother Teresa, indicate it was Hardon who personally carried news of McGuire’s situation to Calcutta. It is thus important to understand how much Hardon knew when he visited Mother Teresa in January 1994. On this front, newly uncovered documents show the Jesuit in an unflattering light, and may have a serious impact on his prospects for sainthood.

In addition to his January 1994 letter to McGuire, Hardon wrote a detailed explication of his knowledge of and involvement in McGuire’s case to Schaeffer, the Jesuits’ Chicago provincial, in November 1993. The father of the alleged abuse victim from Walnut Creek had requested that Hardon personally intercede to assess exactly what McGuire had done to the teenage boy. At the time, Hardon was an internationally known and beloved priest who had staked his reputation on championing a conservative strain of Catholicism, not dissimilar to McGuire’s, that was often at odds with the beliefs of his more liberal-minded fellow Jesuits.

During a visit to Saint John Vianney, Hardon had a frank conversation with McGuire in which the latter admitted to taking showers with his alleged victim, asking the boy to massage his body, and allowing him to possess pornography in the room they shared while traveling. McGuire denied additional allegations that he had touched the boy’s genitals and watched him masturbate.

Hardon was apparently satisfied with what he heard. As he wrote to Schaeffer, “Regarding showering, Fr. Don said that it was true, but the picture is not one of a lingering sensual experience. It was rather the picture of two firemen, responding to an emergency, one of whom was seriously handicapped and in need of support and care from the other.”

On the body rubs: “Regarding the massages, Fr. Don said they were done with attention to modesty and were necessary to relieve spasm at the 4th-5th lumbar disc and the right leg, involving the sciatic nerve.” (The fourth and fifth lumbar vertebrae are at the bottom of the spine, just above the buttocks.)

And the dirty magazines: “Regarding pornography Fr. Don said that there were Playboy and Penthouse magazines, which he neither got nor threw away.”

Hardon concluded in the letter, “I do not believe there was any conscious and deliberate sexual perversity.” He added, “I do believe Fr. McGuire was acting on principles which, though objectively defensible, were highly imprudent.” He also concluded that another serious charge against McGuire, that the priest had violated the seal of confession by disclosing private information about the boy during an argument with his father, was unfounded.

The 1993 victim’s family did not respond to requests for comment regarding the revelations in the letters. Other observers, noting the blasé manner in which Hardon speaks of a priest showering with a teenage boy and his unconcern with a supposedly orthodox cleric’s tolerance for porn, say the letter will cast a shadow on the late Jesuit’s reputation.

“I will never look at John Hardon the same way again,” said Wall, the former Benedictine monk.

Phil Lawler, editor of Catholic World News, said the letter could be a stumbling block for the sainthood cause of Hardon, who is still in the early stages of being investigated by Vatican deputies. The most rigorous review of a candidate’s life typically comes prior to the first milestone in the process, called veneration. Following that are beatification and canonization.

Lawler described Hardon’s statements about McGuire as “shocking.”

“What will it do for his cause? It will slow it down,” Lawler said.

Rev. Robert McDermott, a priest in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and postulator for Hardon’s cause, initially agreed to review Hardon’s letter about McGuire and comment on it. After receiving it, he did not respond to subsequent calls and e-mails from SF Weekly.

Lawler said the letter apparently written by Mother Teresa, by contrast, is unlikely to stop her from clearing the final hurdle of canonization.

“I think her reputation is safe,” Lawler said. “It doesn’t fluster me that she would try to help a friend, and didn’t know what was going on. Her reputation is so safe that, even if this is a negative, it doesn’t much weighon it.”

The extent to which the new documents will influence the canonization of either Hardon or Mother Teresa should, ideally, only be assessed after a thorough investigation of what both figures knew about McGuire, and how much influence their advocacy on his behalf had in the disastrous decision to return him to ministry in 1994. But in light of the church’s past lack of diligence in dealing with priestly abuse, that might be a lot to hope for.

Mother Teresa is perhaps the most famous and popular Catholic religious leader of the second half of the 20th century, rivaled only by the late Pope John Paul II. Hardon’s cause is likewise dear to senior officials in the Vatican. The investigation into his potential sainthood was initiated by Raymond Burke, the cardinal and former archbishop of St. Louis who is now prefect of the Supreme Tribunal of the Apostolic Signatura — a position that could be described as the chief justice of the Catholic Church’s supreme court.

Lawler pointed out that dozens of American bishops who protected known child molesters in the clergy remain on the job today. Will similar efforts to shield a predator by figures of possibly saintly stature haveany fallout?

“You asked me whether this matter could affect the progress of Father Hardon’s cause [for canonization], and I said that it definitely would. It might have been more accurate if I had said it definitely should,” Lawler said. “I hope that people would recognize this as a serious issue that demands attention. But this is an issue on which the record of the American Catholic hierarchy is still not good.”

Walk the Line …

Courtesy: Splitminded

It is a brisk (-7c) out. The snow never came and more may be in the mix for later on in the week. It got progressively colder as the day waned on.

The weekend was uneventful, and Quebec City came through and our financial aide came over the weekend. All the bills got paid and the rent and my tuition for the winter term that begins on the 18th.

It was an early call this morning because I had to go to the clinic to drop labs and one of my friends was going the same direction (to the clinic) to drop his labs, we got to go by car, which made it an “In and Out” visit. It took all of 20 minutes from door to door – which gave me plenty of time to go back to bed for a disco nap before setting out this evening.

It was a usual Tuesday night. People came early to read. And one of our members, I found out tonight, that she’s only lived here for a few months and we chatted about history and what Montreal was like hundreds of years ago. She asked me to take her on a personal tour of the city from my point of view. That should be good fun. I don’t know if I want to do all that walking in the cold.

And yes, they say that “no self respecting Canadian would complain about the cold!”  A really good tour of the history of this city is better in the summer when the sun is high and the skies are blue. Because you start in Old Montreal and end up on the mountain and the Oratory. I thought to give her a book that was passed on to me by my great aunt about Mere D’Youville. One of the first saints of Montreal.

We sat the circle and a good number of side seats. We read from the back of the 4th edition of the Big Book, a story called “Listening to the Wind” about a native woman who gets sober after a long and arduous battle with addiction.

The shares went almost all the way around the room, but we ended short because we had two cakes tonight. One a nine year and the second a 22 year.

A good time was had by all.

Not much else is going on. So maybe more will come later.

I am feeling not myself…

Courtesy: Amateurhour2

It is the first Friday of the new year which brings us to Friday West End tonight. It has been cold and trying to snow over the last 24 hours. I have a lot of time on my hands and with not very much to do, I wonder what it is that I am supposed to be doing.

I’ve been feeling a little odd, to say the least. I find it a challenge trying to work with others. And in some cases, I wonder why some people are sober if they aren’t putting to use what they have learned in their lives… You try, when given the occasion to do so, to give witness to what you know, even if what you have to say is tossed back in your face with a fuck you kind of remark.

And I have to remember what my sponsor always tells me, just because someone stopped drinking, doesn’t mean that they are necessarily sober. And time and time again as of late, I have seen this issue rise in front of me and I don’t know why or for what reason, but I know why I am sober today.

And it has come to pass that I listen to some sober people talk about their lives to me and to others, and I listen and ponder for a bit and I choose my words wisely and then I put those words into action, and I have to say that it pains me to have someone tell me to fuck off in sobriety. Lesson here – Even if you have something good to say, don’t offer that word until it is asked for or not at all. When I freely share the gift I have, it gets thrown back into my face, so the opportunity is wasted. And I have added another weight to my shoulders. I just don’t get it sometimes.

The Montreal sober community is very small and I follow certain people in the program much closer than others because they are struggling, and sponsors are failing at doing their jobs (I.E.) not giving sponsees enough time hence sponsees are sponsorless once again. And tonight I saw one of those men and I asked him about it and he gave me the fuck you look and walked away. Several of us have been reaching out to him over the last couple of months to no avail. He is gonna do what he is gonna do and fuck us for trying to help him.

I just get the feeling that I should just sit back and watch the sparks fly and not get involved because it seems as of late, nothing I have had to say has done one bit of good in any case.

It was a good meeting. It was standing room only. I knew our speaker. He has been coming to our Friday meeting for the past few weeks. He’s much farther down the road than I am at 16 years and I met him when I first got sober. People usually stick to their section of town to go to meetings. They do not cross the invisible city lines from one section of town to another. North – South – East and West, Downtown, West End, etc, etc … So I haven’t seen him in a while.

The share was good. Everyone’s story is different, but one fact is the same, we drank because we were alcoholics. And we are sober but for the grace of God.

After the meeting we had two cakes. A  1 year and a 9 year. One a visitor and the other a member of the group. It was good times, lots of cake and conversation.

Lizzy and I carpooled to and from the meeting. At least someone listens to what I have to say… I was reading a fellows blog and I saw this and found it was what I needed to hear right now …

ANYWAY
People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered
…love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives
…do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies
…be successful anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow
…do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable
…be honest and frank anyway.
People love underdogs but follow only top dogs
…follow some underdog anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight
…build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you try to help
…help people anyway.
If you give the world the best you have, you may get kicked in the teeth
…but give the world the best you have
…ANYWAY.

I think this speaks to what I am feeling right now.

EDIT 4:25 a.m. Saturday

I just flipped through a friends blog just now and I almost fell out of my chair. He had this same reading on the blog, and at the end of the writing is the author, none other than Mother Theresa of Calcutta. Holy Shit !!! She is watching over me and my prayers are not in vain … You never know where inspiration is going to come from or by which medium it will come from. Who Knew ???

*** *** *** ***

So that is all for tonight. It is the weekend. And Quebec City has still not paid out our financial aide yet. The rent has yet to be paid, and we are living on very little until that money comes. I am powerless over people, places and things…

Goodnight from Montreal.

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