Decisions, Decisions …

Well, the verdict is in. And it isn’t good. I wrote two papers and a book review and both my professors have asked me to resubmit that work again – rewritten of course to up my grades. I did not fail outright, but a C grade for a graduate student is the kiss of death, and an automatic dismissal from the graduate program. Instead of dismissing me – they have told me that I can resubmit my work over the next 60 days. It seems my writing skills need a severe upgrade.

I am unsure of my abilities to perform up to code. I am unsure of my future success as a grad student should I proceed into next semester. I need a serious tune up if I am going to maintain my membership in the grad student program.

I have pondered dropping out of the grad program all together and shift to the nominal Theology program degree, but I haven’t made that decision yet. But it is in my back pocket. I need to sit with my advisers over the break and talk this through before I make any future commitments or rash decisions. I am not going to change my stays as of yet, I am registered for the winter term so that stays as is for now.

It is a cold (-30c) day outside. Quite bitter if you ask me.

We got the rest of the gifts for the family wrapped today and we have to get them into the mail in the next 24 hours. All of the home Christmas shopping and wrapping is done, the turkey is in the freezer and the cupboards are stocked with fixings. Hubby is off to Ottawa next week to see family and I will be home alone for a few days. We will spend Christmas together at home again this year.

I talked to my sponsor today and to Rick about my home group. Since I am now free on Tuesday’s I can restart set up in the month of January since our newbie that is there will be traveling out west for school. I might be chairing the month of January which will be good for me. Better to give me something to do other than ruminating over my failure as a grad student. I am not happy at the moment, not one bit. But I knew I was in for a challenge, I just didn’t think it would be this challenging. My self esteem is shot to hell. And I don’t like it one bit.

That’s all for now.

More to come, stay tuned…