It was a dreary wet night. The air was misty with drizzle. And a little on the cool side. We were all waiting for tonight, I am not sure what we were all waiting for except that we would all be together again tonight for a meeting. And the people were not disappointed.
Someone threw a wrench into setup tonight, as I opened the door to our cabinet our huge box of paper cups was gone, and only 2 packages of cups were left. It seemed that someone was messy with the way they went about taking from us. The box must have been pulled out and the stuff that was there was just thrown back into it haphazardly. We made due …
We had a packed house. It was a good night for a meeting. Lots of sobriety in the room. And our speaker came, (I think) via the West Island, because she mentioned being a West Island Girl. And she knocked it out of the park. There was so much to her story that I tried to grasp one or two themes that she brought up to write on.
Alcohol for most, is but a symptom. But for our speaker alcohol was but the gateway drug that took her to the darkest places one could go, from an innocuous sip of beer as a child down the rabbit hole into a full fledged heroine addiction that almost killed her.
She spoke about being the black sheep in the family and being branded a scapegoat for all the sins and problems of her family. That seems to be a common theme that came up for me and grasshopper. But when she got sober, the rest of the family had to stop pointing fingers at her and start looking at themselves. Hence let us take two looks at “Scapegoat.”
“A person made to bear the blame for others.” In the historical religious sense the scapegoat was used to bear the sins of the priests and people on the day of atonement…
Lev. 16:8-26; R.V., “the goat for Azazel” (q.v.), the name given to the goat which was taken away into the wilderness on the day of Atonement (16:20-22). The priest made atonement over the scapegoat, laying Israel’s guilt upon it, and then sent it away, the goat bearing “upon him all their iniquities unto a land not inhabited.” At a later period an evasion or modification of the law of Moses was introduced by the Jews. “The goat was conducted to a mountain named Tzuk, situated at a distance of ten Sabbath days’ journey, or about six and a half English miles, from Jerusalem. At this place the Judean desert was supposed to commence; and the man in whose charge the goat was sent out, while setting him free, was instructed to push the unhappy beast down the slope of the mountain side, which was so steep as to insure the death of the goat, whose bones were broken by the fall. The reason of this barbarous custom was that on one occasion the scapegoat returned to Jerusalem after being set free, which was considered such an evil omen that its recurrence was prevented for the future by the death of the goat” (Twenty-one Years’ Work in the Holy Land). This mountain is now called el-Muntar…
In the end she arrived in the rooms in 1990, but took until 2000 to really get it. And she shared that the first time you come in, it is a gift, but if you don’t get it the first time, you really have to work for it, no matter how many times you take a step into the rooms. Some of us took more than one run at sobriety before we really got it. But she is sober today some 11 years now.
We are all human and we all feel. Coming from being a fearful young girl, there are still some things she battles with today. Many of us deal with self esteem issues, being not enough, not being able to do enough good, fear and so forth and so on. That is something that we learn how to deal with in sobriety.
It was a great share. We laughed and we giggled, but really, we all felt for her getting up there and sharing such a stark warning of a story for us all … You come in, you go to meetings, get a sponsor and do service. Because if you don’t do those things, your success in the program are slim.
It was a happy ending to the night with not one but two cakes.
One of our trusted servants to the meeting, one of our many incredible and kind women I have ever met and know today took a 37 year cake from our Matriarch, we are all so happy for her. So much long term sobriety.
Secondly, a good friend from the South Shore, a woman I know very well, and have seen ever since coming into the rooms here in Montreal took a 41 year cake. It is always a blessing to see her in any meeting where ever that meeting is. She was pure joy.
A good night was had by all.
Dinner time and some late night tv.