Excerpts from Step 6 Twelve and Twelve …
Practically every body wishes to be rid of his most glaring and destructive handicaps. No one wants to be so proud that he is scorned as a braggart, nor so greedy that he is labeled a thief. No one wants to be angry enough to murder, lustful enough to rape, gluttonous enough to ruin his health. No one wants to be agonized by the chronic pain of envy or to be paralyzed by sloth. Of course, most human beings don’t suffer these defects at these rock-bottom levels. P.66
It is suggested that we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward perfection. We note that some delay, however, might be pardoned. That word, in the mind of a rationalizing alcoholic, could certainly be given a long term meaning. He could say, “How very easy!
Sure, I’ll head toward perfection, but I’m certainly not going to hurry any. Maybe I can postpone dealing with some of my problems indefinitely.” Of course, this won’t do. Such a bluffing of oneself will have to go the way of many another pleasant rationalization.
At the very least, we shall have to come to grips with some of our worst character defects and take action toward their removal as quickly as we can. The moment we say, “No, never!” our minds close against the grace of God. Delay is dangerous, and rebellion may be fatal. This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God’s will for us. p.69
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The week has been, uneventful. Hubby celebrates his 40th birthday tomorrow and he is amid a mid-life crisis over turning 40, and I am hoping that he will grasp the grace one gets when we reach this point in our lives. For me 40 was a watershed period in my life. And I am hoping that he will see the wisdom in this as well. But to each their own, according to ones gifts and abilities.
It was a beautiful day today. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky all day and seeing I had plenty of time on my hands, I left home early because I had to go buy gifts and cards on the way out. I got to the church around 4′ish. I was done with set up about 10 to five. Plenty of time to sit and people watch on the stoop.
It was a low turnout for the business meeting. But it was a productive meeting nonetheless. We are all set for the next month. The new June Grapevines came today in the mail, it is June and June is Founders Month. This years festivities will take place on June 8th,9th and 10th in Akron, Ohio.
I read the first little bit of this months offering. Tens of thousands of people will take the pilgrimage to Akron to observe Founders Weekend, visiting all the hallowed spots of Bill and Bob’s evolution and the creation of A.A. If you’ve never been go to: akronaa.org – Founders Day Registration.
It sounds exciting. Maybe something I can do in the future.
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As the meeting started, it got dark outside. And then the skies opened up and it poured down cats and dogs. People got a little ancy sitting over the drain that drained water into the hall last week. I was praying, please God, no flood tonight. Thankfully, the rain did not last very long. It took them half a day to clean up the mess last week, and they are going to have to do some serious work due to water damage in the church proper.
Since it is the sixth month the chair thought it good to read from the Twelve and Twelve, and step Six. It is always good to read from the 12 and 12. Everybody had their take on “Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of Character.”
Since I had to go first, I stumbled over my words. What I really wanted to say didn’t quite come out as clearly as I wanted, but we were a big group tonight so I didn’t go on and on. But above is the passage about the seven deadly sins and what is required of us when we become ready and willing.
I think about this step every time I speak to grasshopper and when I talk to my friends and peers. Because at odd moments a defect pops up in my field of vision and I take a look at it. I see my defects and I see them in others. And in the recent past, I found in working with certain people, their glaring defects put them at odds with the advice I was giving them, hence them moving on to find someone else who would put up with their shit…
Nothing purges character defects, honestly, then living with your spouse who is mentally challenged. When he is in a down, defects make themselves known and if I am not careful I fall into the trap as well. Hubby is a mirror for me. He is very aware and totally down with pointing out my defects. And over the last 10 years of our relationship, I work daily to make sure I work on my character.
I was a solo drinker, and I had nobody around me. Yes, I found myself in several jackpots in the past, but once I divorced myself from that situation, I never returned to those places. Some stories I hear from people like my sponsor, were not part of my story. I had issues when I came back, and over time, I worked them out, or more to the point, they were worked out of me.
I have said in the past that we get to run through the Big Book, the 12 and 12, and we work our steps in groups. After completing one series through, we get to work on them in practical life. Not all at once, mind you, but you study for a bit and you get to work them a bit and so forth and so on.
I would get to work these things within the group on a weekly basis, then God, in his infinite wisdom would send me situations where I would get to put into action what I was reading and then doing. And that is how it has been for the last ten years. I just don’t sit back on my laurels and say, “eh, I’ve worked my steps, and get complacent.” Every day I work a little bit on the one thing that presents itself each day. It just gets a little easier to do over time.
I’m trying to have a good, strong relationship with my husband. There is no room for character defects or shortcomings. Because if I slip up, it immediately gets shown to me either by hubby or a sponsee or someone else. I am not perfect, by any stretch, that’s why it is good to do this spot check when they come up in readings at meetings.
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Tomorrow I get to see the doc, and find out what the numbers are for the summer. Hopefully it will be quick and painless. So stay tuned for that.
Other than that, nothing special going on, except for hubby’s big 40 tomorrow.
That is all for tonight. More to come, stay tuned …