Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. STS 109 Shuttle Columbia Mission March 1, 2002. A WordPress Production.

Dignity … Your Voice Matters …

tumblr_mej2v9HEkh1rsritzo1_500 shinybrat - jonathan by petetaylor on flickr
Courtesy: ShinyBrat – Jonathan by Pete Taylor on Flickr

Isn’t he a cutie !!!

It has been a day. Lots of goings on here and there. There were trips to supermarket Safari, with a stop at recycling first. I find it pleasing to hit the store off hours to do my weekly shopping. And there was a cute young man on speed checkout today.
Environment Canada has wiped snow from their forecast for the next week, and the other website we are watching has snow falling here and there. And like I have said before, who to believe? Our local news channel is asking the general public if we are going to have a White Christmas … With two weeks to go, it is likely.

I have a few items that I want to talk about – besides our regular Thursday night fare. I saw a good “Ted Talk” the other day by John St. Augustine. He is known as the voice of uncommon sense. He was also a guest on Coast to Coast the other night. And his message was about synchronicity and experiences. But the one thing that sticks out was his words about the voice. And that every voice matters. Your Voice Matters.

We all live this experience of ours and moments happen. And they impact who we are and who we are becoming. You can Google him and see his talk.

I take time, on a regular basis to write to you and share experiences with you, and sometimes I wonder if any of this matters … Yes it does.

The other note of interest comes from Maya Angelou. She was on Master Class last night. I’ve seen this episode before, but hearing her message again was a voice I needed to hear at the right time. We are all teachers. And she speaks about words … Words are “things” they get into your clothes, into your home, into your head and into your brain. So be careful with your words. The ones you use in community and the ones you use with yourself.

I have had problems in the past with some of my words. And people got bent out of shape because of them. And for that I am sorry. But I try, whenever I write, to use the right words and I speak them with truth and honesty.

I’ve been ruminating on the holidays. I am specifically ruminating on a specific Christmas card that is in the pike. And I am over thinking the words I wrote in that card because they will either spark conversation or slam the door shut.

I should have written more words than I did. I should have written down a URL to be sought – but I didn’t. The only direct link back to me is my address on the return address on the envelope. And who pays attention to the return address ?

I was up early today because I am still waiting on a package coming from Los Angeles, and I put a note at the door for Canada Post. And someone buzzed up and hubby buzzed him in, but it wasn’t the mail. So I waited all day but no joy.

I took a short nap this afternoon after a much deserved Sub Way Sandwich, and I could not still  my mind. Thoughts and memories were racing through my brain and I could not, for the life of me, shut it off … I just lay there waiting for the clock to buzz.

Which meant that I was up early and ready to go early. I set off for the stop, and as I got to the stop, I was fumbling with my phone, and one of my friends walked up from afar. She was headed in the same direction – St. Matthias. And she was like, do you wanna walk with me, as the bus pulled up, I was so befuddled that I got on the bus, as she told me that she couldn’t afford the bus, and I had plenty of change on me, but before I could do anything, the bus driver shut the door and pulled away. I rode up and she walked up.

The hall was dark. So I opened up and set up chairs and tables. You go to enough meetings, you see how the room is set up, you really don’t need anyone to tell you what goes where. Soon after I finished chairs, my friend showed up, and so did our coffee maker with keys to the cabinet to do set up and slogans.

It was a full meeting. Lots of friends. Lots of community. Everybody is ancy because there are many of us that were there who have anniversaries in December. My anniversary is on Sunday, another fellow is on the 17th, and another lady friend is on Christmas Day.

We were talking together before the meeting, and my lady friend from our home group’s anniversary is on Christmas Day and she is about to mark 10 years. And I took my gold 10 medallion out of my wallet to show her. I don’t often take that medallion out of my wallet but it was out and I rubbed it on my sleeve to buff the coin, and it said …. “I Thirst…” my name and my sobriety date.

It was a year ago that I got my tattoo and a year ago that the ladies at Friday West End who got me my medallion gold plated. It’s funny, how things change in a years time. Friday West End is but a memory. I started going there because I thought that I needed something more, like I was hoping for a little excitement to happen in sobriety. I got that and a bit more drama, that wasn’t welcome.

I stayed there only but a season. But I tired of people reading this blog on a weekly basis and having people critique my writing and scold me for writing the truth. I am not a 5 year old to be scolded by mommy !!! So that season came to an end.

Tonight we heard a speaker who was funny, sad and very honorable. We laughed and I wiped a few tears and in the end she said that once she was a “is there anything more” alcoholic and now she is a dignified sober woman.

I’ve not heard a similar story to hers to date. But if you were like her in your addiction, always needing to be either “pretty, tanned or popular” to the extreme and one drink was never enough, and that being “here” would turn into “I want to be there…” Because being here isn’t enough.

The alcoholic series of escapades are the same. Geographics, a common feature in any alcoholic story,  from Canada to the U.S. to Brazil, back to Canada, always hunting for better living and more drinking and a better tan… Because when we were out there, it was all about us, and wanting more, more money, more drink, more tan, more popularity.

Then she came to. And ever since she has been in mourning mode. Mourning mode the woman she used to be, and coming to be comfortable in who she is today. She shared with us how she is getting in touch with herself, by working honestly and truthfully her steps. She did a 19 day sojourn to work her 4th and 5th that sounded miraculous.

Some ten years sober …. and a little more … She had regained her dignity.

I don’t know if I am in spiritual mode or self mode. I guess I will write a little more about my anniversary over the weekend, as in a years end wrap up. I’m just allowing myself to be present to whom ever needs me – and I need you too.

I need to ponder how exciting this last year of sobriety has been, and if I really got what I asked for a year ago. Has it really gotten better? I guess it did.

You come here every day to read, and I try to write, from my heart, what is going on in my life. And I enjoy what I do and how I do it.

It was a good night. We shall party over the weekend.

There are 18 shopping days until Christmas. And there are only 15 days left until the end of the world. Time to pack up and get ready to kiss our collective asses goodbye … if the Mayans got it right.

Are you ready for the offing ???

More to come on many fronts so stay tuned. We will be live blogging the Armageddon come the 21st…

So stay tuned …

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