Spiritual Beings …
Courtesy: Christopher Jordan
It was a fair day, and not so bad for travel this evening. We are sitting at (-6c/-12c w.c.) at this hour. It is a little later than usual for this entry, I’ve been working my butt off cleaning and throwing away garbage and sorting things into recycling since this afternoon.
We have been advised by the rental company that our apartments are going to be inspected beginning on Monday. This is the first time in memory that anyone has done this in all the years I have lived here. They have not given us a reason as to why we are being inspected, so we will be ready for them.
I met a friend just after 7 to make the journey to St. Matthias, it was a good crowd. Lots of visitors from far away. We sat all the seats put out. And our speaker came from the St. Matthias family.
For the past year we have been participating in prayer circles and sending cards and good wishes to one of our dear members who got very sick last fall and was in need for a liver transplant because of long standing liver disease. Something our lady ignored for a long time, and in time it almost took her.
Miracles happen for us when we come to this organization. After being told the operation would happen, there was a blood scare and all transplants were put on hold. And she had to wait. Then they found cancer in the liver and things got dicey. The donor – who was on deaths door – did not die – for a while. But thankfully, the door was reopened and the operation did take place, and for the last 5 months we have been waiting for our lady to make it to a meeting.
A few weeks ago she showed up at our Tuesday meeting, quietly sitting in the back away from prying eyes. We were so happy to see her alive and well. It seems the operation was a success and she is alive and well to tell the tale of how she came to today.
In her own words … “Everything that has happened up to today has been preordained.” And “everything happens for a reason.”
She spoke words that I have never heard before. But they resonated within me as I sat there listening tonight. “We” she spoke, are born close to a spiritual being. We are different from any other person, by the way we come into the world, and find ourselves in the predicament that many alcoholics find themselves.
It is near to the image that when a baby is born, they are close to the being of God. From the womb they come new and unharmed and they come unblemished and innocent. A true spiritual being.
But as time passes by, we grow up, and we grow apart from the spiritual being. If you’ve ever heard the story about the little boy who sits in his new born sisters crib asking her “what does God look like?” If only we knew the answer…
Make no mistake. Alcoholism is patient and waits for us. From the very beginning it is there. And many of us got caught up in the drink for far too long and shit happens, very few succeed in getting sober, many come, but few make it until they have been licked and torn down to nothingness.
And it is by the Grace of God that we find the rooms. And for those of us who come and stay, we get to learn about ourselves, and we, in time, come to understand that we are spiritual beings. Coming out of the fog of alcoholism and drug addiction, the people who suffer the most, are those we have hurt the most. Family, friends, children and spouses.
We may go to our graves sober, but those we leave behind will carry what we have done inside them till they take their last breath. And now we get to clean up the wreckage of our pasts, to make good on relationships, and get back to the living of life.
The two things that are the most important in this life, as recovering alcoholics are Acceptance and Gratitude. For many, coming to the rooms is a first step, but as we read in the book “Acceptance is the key to all my problems.”
We must come to realize that we are not in control, and for many, giving up that control is a tooth and nail battle. How many people have we seen come in, sit around, listen to the words, and read the book and get to this passage and say “oh, give up control, I don’t think so… Not Now … and they go out and drink.
“But there is one who has all power, that one is God, may you find him now…”
We come in broken and bruised. And today I know that there are many of us who are suffering. The winds are blowing, and the tide is against many a folk today and watching them founder is not fun. This is when one might say “time to let go, and let God.” The sooner you get here the better you will feel.
Gratitude is, for me, a default setting. For a long time, I would joke that I have hit many a meeting in the past eleven years, that I go to a meeting that a topic must be chosen, and when a topic isn’t chosen, it usually falls to gratitude.
But gratitude is something we may take for granted. And it is something that should be recognized as crucial to good sober living. We made it here. We are alive. So many have died in the throes… Many folks are stuck in the revolving door of the drink.
The one take away from this is that life is too short. For many, we fail to recognize just what a gift sobriety is. For some, this is a one shot deal. You never know how much another is suffering when they come in the door. But God knows what we need, even before we ask the questions.
I live with a terminal illness myself. And I should have died a long time ago, but I survived and I am still here. If I had not met the men I did, when I did, at that specific moment, that God stepped in and gave me a way out, I would have died.
This is my second kick at the can, and I am not screwing around with my sobriety, I will do whatever it takes to stay sober and do what I am told, and take to heart every word I hear from every person I hear speak.
Like a friend shares … “We should have hands of sand and feet of clay.”
We were all grateful to hear our lady speak tonight and share this message with us. It was a great night. We took caravan home which was nice.
All’s well that ends well.
More to come, stay tuned…