The Arch …
Nothing like a strapping lumberjack for a little inspiration !!!
It has been a very busy weekend. Hubby presented at his convention at the University on Saturday, but it wasn’t very exciting, not enough people, not enough sincerity, and a lot of egos and attitudes. But he presented nonetheless.
It has been cold as of late. Much cooler than it has been over the week. And we are expecting SNOW on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I guess mother nature did not get the request for Spring …
Lots of things going down today. Something happened with the folks at the early afternoon meeting today. There was a sign on the door alerting folks that the meeting was closed. And at the end of the meeting a man walked up to me and told me what had happened earlier in the day.
As it is to happen when egos and attitudes get the best of people, shit goes down, people get hurt and meetings get closed.
Tonight’s meeting was well attended. And I was pleased to see the “other me” show up early to help set up … And he is a reader of the blog. And a whiz at Word Press things. Which is something good to know.
Today we began Chapter 6 in the Big Book. Into Action.
And for the second time in the read through the steps we get:
“…for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.”
This passage appears during the discussion of Step Three, and it is also the impetus that has moved me to shake up my sobriety, after hearing it spoken at a meeting a couple of weeks ago.
Since was are on Step 5 … Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs …
I listened as folks shared on the topic. And I pondered the past, I zeroed in on a particular time of my life. And reflecting on Step 4 — what was my part in what I did as a drinker?
At the time, as a young alcoholic, I really had no game plan. I did not set out to screw anyone over, or fuck my parents over. I was an alcoholic of the worst kind. I spent more than I made, I did not know what responsibility meant. What do you mean pay bills, carry a car payment, pay rent and for food, and still have money to spend on alcohol. Something had to go … and it did.
Over the years as I work my steps I see my past with new eyes. Each year I learn about me, because I still don’t know myself like I would like to. Even though I haven’t had a drink in a while – my interior process of self understanding continues. Do we ever get to know all there is to know about ourselves? Or is this process something we do for the rest of our lives?
I want to be free … to walk through that all important Arch we are building.
But I don’t know where that arch is? Or where to find it. And I think that is why I was feeling a little Dis-Eased for a while back there. I am trying new things. Talking to new people.
Tonight I spoke to a fellow man who is a long time friend. And they are thinking about opening up a men’s meeting here in the city. It seems that I am not the only person who felt a little like leaving a group because of the girls.
I signed on to help find a new space or negotiate an existing space on another night, so we shall see how that plays out over the next two weeks. I guess we can say that soon, very soon, there will be a new Men’s Meeting in Montreal.
Too many women, not enough for the men to do. It’s funny that women from an all women’s meeting, came to Tuesday Beginners to help us fill out the group, and now the Tuesday meeting is almost all Women !!! Go Figure …
Almost time for dinner. So I will sign out for now.
More to come, stay tuned …