Faith and Acceptance
The week has come to an end.
It is raining out … So much for a dry and sunny weekend for the Formula One Race on Sunday. But mother nature still has some time to pull it out for the city.
Tonight we ventured to North End English. We noticed tonight that the tables were moved out into the common room for the meeting, to allow more folks to be “in the meeting” rather than “sitting on the outside looking in.”
The topic came from As Bill Sees It. And mentions Faith and acceptance and goes on to talk about Humility and Love …
I need my meetings like I need air in my lungs. Once you begin to attend ANY particular meeting, you begin to invest in the many lives of the folks who also go to that meeting. The Friday night meeting is a place that I can be honest and let go my inhibitions to share certain things opting to let it all go, because others, let it all go as well.
We go to meetings because we need them to learn how to live, but more importantly, I go because I need my friends around me. They need to hear me and I need to hear them. It is mutual interest in each others journeys.
I have faith. Meetings are my calling. It is what I do with myself. There is a roof over our heads, which I pay for every month like clockwork.
I benefit from assistance I get from the states because of AIDS. It is constant, I can rely on it. However hard some may think I need to “just get a job ! ” I answer with … Find me a long term job that is gonna pay me clear $900.00 a month like clockwork. Knowing I don’t speak French and that if I got a job I would forfeit my monthly stipend. There is safety in the plan I am on now.
It is tedious. Some just don’t get how tedious it is.
I have humility to say, I don’t have all the answers, and I can bow down and ask for help, rather than trying to do it all by myself. It isn’t about my ego. It is all about God and God’s time.
Acceptance is the key to all my problems. Trust was mentioned tonight, as in how do you find it and what do you do with it? I trust my friends, and I trust my husband. That’s what you get in a long term relationship, trust and love.
Recently, I have just been walking forwards. Since the roundup I have had spiritual experiences. Yet I haven’t found the person who is supposed to brief me on what to do next. I’ve been on this quest for some time now.
I walk forwards, as things and people in my life have been in turmoil. I am powerless over people, places and things. I just have to trust, and I’ve done that and so it goes. Everything I need has been provided for. And I am just walking and doing the Three, Seven and Eleven shuffle.
I called in a favor tonight from a friend. Hopefully he will be able to assist me.
One of our men took fifteen years tonight. And like me, he spoke directly to me and to others in the room, that he needs us to be present for him to stay sober. and that was quite a little wink from God, like, keep doing what you are doing.
All will be well.
It was a good night.
More to come, stay tuned…