Friday Finking – A.B.S.I. Toward Honesty
It was another stellar day in the neighborhood. And it was even chilly, I found when I left, I should have brought a hoodie but alas, I did not feel like going back upstairs to get one. The transit theme tonight was once again “Six minutes…”
It was a stellar night at the meeting. The hall was PACKED with friends and fellows, and visitors from Ontario, and as far away as Texas. We more than doubled occupancy this evening. This is a good omen, that last night, as well, we sat a full table of men. I wondered tonight to a friend, “where did our guys get the meeting info?” Because most of them were from out of town, and unless they called inter-group, or seen a blue sheet, would not know of us just yet.
Stopped for din din ….
Side observation: Somebody put up BLUE led Christmas lights on the outside balcony on the apartment building facing us … really ??? In August ???
The week began with a read in the Big Book, then a meeting for the newbie on Tuesday, How it Works on Thursday night and A.B.S.I. tonight. And once again tonight the word “honesty” came up, not only in the title of the reading but also from the text read.
Four months ago, we all attended the West island Roundup. We heard boisterous speakers from New York City, rally the troops to get active and get into the work of hard core sobriety. Montreal is not Hard Core at all. We are like, well if you want to … but we are not in a hurry to get there.
For the first few weeks I was on the hunt for a man who could take up the mantle and lead, but many of the men I know, did not get the opportunity to hear the message some of us did, so the effort went without a win.
I spent a couple of weeks spinning my wheels and pining for something more, which did not transpire. My sponsor is still my sponsor. Then time passed and I stepped up my meetings in a way, I joined a new group of men because that’s where I thought I should be for now, working with others on a more personal basis. I did the work, said my prayers and just let go and let God.
On Thursday nights, in a way, we always come back to the Big Book. And the same chapters come up in discussion.
But first … A few weeks ago, at the Friday meeting, we had a major dust up between the guests. Voiced were raised and some of us voiced our dismay about how we were working our programs, unlike some of our more “connected women.”
The word Hypocrite came up and was tossed on the table.
To date, many of those people who were involved in the dust up, no longer attend the Friday meeting, much to our dismays …
Life goes on …
For a long time we’ve known that there is a core of women here in the city that work on the New York sober model. It is an every day sandwich effort of sponsors, sponsees and others. Steps, Big Book, prayers, one on one meetings, and then massive attendance at the Tuesday Night meeting. They really have it good, and they work harder than anyone I know here.
After the roundup, I so wanted what they had and I spent a lot of time trying to find other men who wanted to engage sobriety in the same way, alas, I failed at that task.
Now you might say that I could ask a woman to sponsor me – but they say here, the men with the men and the women with the women, UNLESS you are gay, then you could find at certain meetings, women who will sponsor men. But those women are not in the same grouping as our “Tuesday Women.”
The topic of rigorous Honesty came up twice this week. And practicing these principles in all our affairs.
I have slacked in my prayers. However I hit four meetings a week, without fail. I am reading our material, and calling people more than usual these days which is a direct result in my choice of Tuesday meeting.
I miss the girls, but I am needed at Vendome right now. I noticed lately that I am feeling a bit off. Like I need to step things up, in a woman’s sort of way. I haven’t spoken to any of the girls because we don’t cross paths on the meeting schedule I am on now. We used to see them on Tuesday’s and Thursdays, but since we opened the men’s meeting on Thursday, we don’t see them at all.
Since the dust up the dynamic of the Friday meeting has changed. But God has seen to it that now I get a whole day to myself, since hubby is gainfully employed and I have time on my hands every day. And some days, I get freaked because I don’t know what to do with myself. Funny that the thought of sober work has not popped in my head, which means I have to actively DO IT.
The message here is – no one can create sobriety for you, nor can anyone work your program for you or get you sober.
If you want it – you will create it. No matter what the cost. God gives you time to create, what are you going to do with that time ???
I am missing some folks. I need to also step up my game.
It was a good night. Lots of good shares and great people.
More to come, stay tuned…