Tuesday “Can we Choose?”
People here in our city are bemoaning the humidity and heat. It has been terribly muggy and hot the past few days. The weather folks are calling for more weather and colder temps going into fall. And it seems that Quebec is on notice for some serious snow this season.
Next week is Labor day the official end to summer. School is starting up for many of my friends this week. Last night I was downstairs and it is “FROSH week” at the local university and the freshmen were being escorted on the local PUB CRAWL, a group of people were screaming in unison at the Karaoke Bar across the street with their pub cups in hand. UGH !! What a nightmare.
I heard a young person from out of town who is attending university here this fall, share at a meeting tonight that she is probably only one of FEW of her school grouping who doesn’t drink … “begin looks of strangeness ….”
What you don’t drink ??? Um, No I don’t …
Like I said it is Frosh week here.
I took my afternoon easy, and was up and out by 5 o’clock. I got to Trinity early and the room was set up and the coffee was already done by 5:30. It was also a friends birthday today. He looks so young for 31 ….
It was a fair group tonight. We are on tap for moving the meeting to another church up the way by the Villa Maria Metro – just one stop further North on the Orange Line at the top of the hill. Trinity is at Vendome which is at the base of the hill. And that should be taking place in October.
Our chair – The Birthday Boy chaired, and read from A.B.S.I.
And “Can we Choose?”
“As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether we would drink. We were the victims of a compulsion which seemed to decree that we must go on with our own destruction.
Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. We came to believe that alone we were powerless over alcohol. This was surely a choice, and a most difficult one. We came to believe that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became willing to practice A.A.’s Twelve Steps.”
The first time I arrived at my First Last Drink in August of 1994, the choice I had made months previous was to drink myself into the ground and self destruct. The choice was made for me – that I would get sober – because that was the decree from the man who saved my life.
Later – I made the choice to pull that geographic in sobriety to an unknown place and situation. And on the other end, as the joint and beer was handed to me, there was no other option but to take them and use. That choice had been made for me – and what was I going to do, Say No??? That situation I walked into was detrimental in all senses of the word DETRIMENTAL !!!
When I put down the drugs, I made that decision. I had to walk away from a very toxic and brutal living situation that almost killed me. Once I put them down and moved away from them, I did not go back looking for them ever again.
And in that last year of my drinking, there were sober periods. But 2001 was a hard year for people in the U.S. And who could blame us for drinking heavily for a good cause like rebuilding New York City …
Once again, arriving at the Second Last Drink, I had made the choice to put it down. God, like I have said before was moving heaven and earth to prove to me that he was watching over me all that time that I was on the self delusional trip that the alcohol was going to magically make me 21 again, in my mid thirties.
The rest they say is history. I made the final choice to relocate. Because of the dire situation I was living in. You can’t live when you have to choose between paying rent or buying medication OR paying rent for the month.
My family took resentment that I would leave the U.S. and the guilt they put on me was oppressive. And I had to move on, to take care of me and nobody else but me.
I made choices in my life that alienated my family from me. And they all paid me well. And I make no excuses for them. I live a much better life than I could have ever imagined.
I made the choice …
It was a good night. We hit two meetings tonight. Saw lots of friends.
More to come, stay tuned…