Tap Tap Tap …
“The way you make people feel says a lot about you.” Jordan Bach
Add another stellar day to the calendar. At the sun’s zenith this afternoon, it was quite steamy out. And the sweaty, dirty, humpy roofer men were up on a second roof just cranking out another new roof.
Several of these men took matters into their own hands as I watched them cut the sleeves off their shirts because it was so steamy up there, out in the sun.
They have another day’s work ahead of them, but the roof is covered and they still have a layer of roofing to put down.
It was a glorious day. I ran some errands, did some supermarket safari this morning after waking in the middle of a very strange dream.
I was on a sinking ship and then found myself in a foreign place, but at the end of the dream, I met up with someone who had been looking for me and knew my name and where I came from … The rest of the dream is gone and I woke up before I could figure out just what was going on.
That’s what usually happens in these technicolor dreams that take place at the very end of a sleep cycle.
I almost went back to bed to see if I could reconnect with the dream and let it play itself out, but that never happens either. Once a dream ends, it is impossible to reconnect to it, later …
I’ve not been able to work that one out.
So I got up – dressed – went to the store – got my laundry money and came home and proceeded to do laundry for the week since we were on our last pairs of underwear in the dresser.
You know its time to do laundry when you run out of clean underwear…
I departed early because I had stops to make on the way and I arrived at the church early and cranked out set up – I had brought a book with me but I was satisfied with listening to music on my phone.
I can’t get enough of Fleetwood Mac.
We sat a full compliment. One of our elder statesmen was in the chair. And he chose to read from Daily Reflections and The Spiritual Angle.
There was a healthy discussion of all things spiritual. From quoting the Big Book and hearing the sainted words of sponsors past, and what each of us has learned about the spiritual path, that is recovery.
One friend has returned to church looking for God, and in that quest to find God, he has a lot of questions. Then he said this … “I’ve never had a spiritual experience of the extraordinary kind, but the educational variety”
And I am half waiting for God to drop out of heaven and tap me on the shoulder and say “Hey, here I am, I wasn’t lost, you were…”
Another member said that if we only took the time to get quiet, and listen for that still small voice, we would make room for God to make His presence known to us.
Tap, Tap, Tap … “This is God, Here I am. I’ve been sitting her waiting for you to find me. All you have to do is look within and notice the breath in your lungs and the life you have – and there I am.”
I’ve lived a long life to this date. And there are many occasions I could tell you about where I saw or felt God’s presence.
The most important spiritual experience, well two of them in fact that happened when I was in seminary and just after I left was when David came to me after he had died.
The first time was the night of his wake – I was there. I returned to the school and went into the chapel to pray. I was alone, and along the back wall of the chapel were confessionals. I heard a door open and footsteps that moved from the back wall to the altar in front of me. The sacrament candle exploded and illuminated the high mural on the back wall above me.
And there was David, standing in front of me wearing my favorite shirt, the one he appeared to me in twice. And he said not to be sad, that he was free.
I have a Miraculous Mary medallion that his mother gave me when he died. I wear it still, to this day. I never leave the house without it.
The second time David appeared was in San Francisco. I had gone on a trip to San Francisco with colleagues. I went on a Mission District tour of an old church. In the graveyard was a life like statue of St. Anthony, our patron saint.
I heard a voice that bade me to follow. So I did. i walked into the church and up to the lectern and a voice said to me “look up …” I looked up and there was David standing on the balcony above the congregation seating.
God exists. And He does great things for us.
When I got sober the first time, God made manifest in the guise of Todd, who became my greatest champion. When I was sick, he took care of me, when I cried, He held me, when I was lost, he found me. And in my worst times, he lifted me up, unlike any other man, IN MY LIFE !!!
I did not die, But I lived.
There is a God.
Over the past almost twelve years, I’ve attended hundreds of meetings in the same space since I got sober. That’s many meetings. That’s hundred of people that have come and gone from those rooms.
If you want to see God – go to a meeting. Participate in someone else’s life. Watch them, over time, get clean and sober.
See the life return, see the light rise in their eyes, and watch THEM find a God of their own understanding, trust me, you WILL see God.
You never know when something you say, may bring God closer to someone than He’s ever been.
I know that this spiritual practice we engage in takes time, and like all things, takes practice, prayer, and patience. I know that after all these years, my spiritual practice has given me words that are not mine at times.
During my days, a multitude of situations may arise. People come into my life right at the right moment, or vice versa, I come into their lives at the right time, because I get to share words with them. I find I have words in my heart that appear when needed and are useful.
Sometimes a kind word comes, a teaching, a lesson from experience, that I get to pass on to someone who might need it. And that has happened in the past few days. On a number of occasions.
When do you pray ???
It depends. It depends on the moment, and what is in front of me. I have friends all over the world by association and in person. Those people I know personally, and those I follow as part of a specific community.
Numerous times a day, someone writes … “Please pray for this or that…”
And momentarily, I stop and I say a prayer. I send light in a specific direction to a particular person. And in the moment I connect with the God of my understanding and WE participate in the life of another, if only for a moment.
Then, at the end of my night, when I sit here and close my day, I recall all those people from the day, and I mention them to God once more, as I give them over for the night into the hands of God.
I’ve learned how to do this over time.
I also realized today after hearing someone mention “church” at the meeting tonight, that he was sitting in Phillips Square … Which is a small square downtown with a statue and several street shops, where people congregate, and across the street from there is Christ Church Cathedral.
And this man walked across the square and went into the church, where he sat down, and eventually knelt to pray. And in that moment, he sat with God.
I realized that yes I go to the Cathedral for services on the odd occasion.
But I miss the sacrament.
I miss the tabernacle and the presence of the Body of Christ in the church.
There are hundreds of churches in this city. Most of them tourist traps. I used to travel to Old Montreal to Notre Dame Cathedral Church/Sacre Coeur to pray before the blessed sacrament. I haven’t done that in a long long time.
But that message made itself perfectly clear to me as I was sitting in a meeting.
Is that ODD or is that GOD ???
I know for me – God exists.
I’ve made space for him in my life.
And that took almost twelve years of sobriety to realize.
And I think I will end on that note.
More to come, stay tuned …