Friday … “In The Zone”
Courtesy: Untouchable Halcyon
The weather got a bit mild as of late and will remain for a few days, until Mother Nature throws FRIGID at us next week. Kind of imagine that we are going to sink into “Saskatoon cold” next week, (-20′s – -30′s) kind of frigid.
It was a normal day. I rearranged my eye appointment for tomorrow which means hubby comes along to see what kind of frames I had chosen, like he has veto power over my choices !
If it’s Blue, It’s Mine !
There was not much else to do today. Since my purge of social media in the past few days, I have stopped partaking in news or topics on tv that have nothing to do with living in Canada, which is a good rule, because we don’t have to be drawn into all that much and shit that goes on down south. And I’d rather not bring that energy back into the house.
I’ve had enough of garbage television and social media. It just rots your brain and does you no good and only reminds you just how fucked up the rest of the world is, not that Canada doesn’t have her own problems, not like the problems and crap that goes down in the U.S. on a daily basis.
I spent the afternoon napping. And once again I was in this fabulous dream, and it just kept going and going, and I was quite enjoying it.
Every time the dream cycled around, the situation changed. And I had a choice whether to continue the dream, or settle down and stop. I chose to continue the dream, and it just got better.
It was like a life competition and there was another person I knew IN the dream with me, they did their thing and I did mine. At first I kept getting burned by the OTHER, until I figured out what to do properly.
I traveled three cycles in the dream, and I knew I was up against the clock, because I set my alarm for 5:30 and it was like 5:15 at one point, glazing my eyes up to the clock trying to hold onto the dream a bit longer.
Eventually I woke up and ended the dream, but I could have gone on, had I stayed lucid. Then I had to make a decision, whether to get out of bed and prep for the meeting, or stay in bed and sleep some more.
I got up and got ready to go, and I left early. Most of the side streets, our street (Fort) and De Maisonneuve have not been plowed so there is still snow piled high all over the place, and the city said that all the snow would be plowed already, yeah right … they still can’t get the city complete in 5 days.
We sat a small crowd. I made a full pot of coffee figuring we’d have a full house because it was mild out, but that didn’t happen. It was a good discussion anyways.
A.B.S.I. # 33 Foundation for Life …
“…in praying, we ask simply that throughout the day God place In us the best understanding of His will that we can have for that day, and that we be given the grace by which we may carry it out…”
Twelve and Twelve p. 102
People took the entire reading in many directions. It kind of gives one perspective to where folks are in their own personal journey with God and praying and meditation, and learning to incorporate the three together.
One of our Long Sober members speaks of being “In the Zone.”
It doesn’t matter what you call it, God, Spirit, Higher Power, praying for God’s will and knowing God’s will usually occurs when we are in the zone with the power greater than ourselves. Some of my friends see the world in stark differences. One of my friends cannot speak the name of God, because he just doesn’t know if there is one, he is very serene man, who believes that goodness is the heart of all things. He sees the world of beauty around him, yet God is absent from the beauty.
Over the last 46 years of life, I have found that as long as I stay “in the zone” and staying “on the path” whatever that path is, it is a conscious choice of remaining in God’s will, whatever that is, on any given day, is the best place for me to be.
If I decide to step off the path, I know that life will eventually end up in the shitter, emotionally, physically and mentally. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.
I dredged up an old hurt. But every year I learn something different about the topic and myself. Which eventually ends up in the God’s will column.
I don’t know where I heard it or where I learned it but
“Every person has one redeemable quality”
No matter how difficult they might have been or how abusive they have been as well.
I reach out to people who have been alienated from my life by the choices I made for myself in sobriety, because I thought that those decisions would net me life, liberty and freedom, and a better quality of life.
And you’d think that as children grow up and they learn about life, and they start making life decisions, that family would rise up and be proud that they have chosen a life path that netted them the best standing in life. That did not happen for me. Hence, alienation…
I acted again this holiday season out of kindness, and it netted me nothing. And once again, it must be God’s will that this was to come to pass. That is wasn’t time yet, and since I am powerless over people, I have to let them come into their own on God’s time.
I have let go of the expectations that they should come on board in MY time.
There is the difference.
I made decisions based on self. Wholly for my own good. I needed release from the curse of being born “a mistake.” I could not live up to the life of the man I was originally named after. But the question remains, if you loved him so much, so much so that you gave me his name, how could you abuse me so badly as you did for so many years?
Secondly, the next life decision I made was for my well being, and a better life because the life I was stuck in, was a no win scenario.
Never tell lies to your children, because one day they will learn the truth, and heaven help you when they do, because the truth WILL destroy the teller of the lie.
I ended up here, and the rest is history. I flourished. And I lived.
It is God’s will, I did what I had to do, for me. And people copped great resentments and bitterness. You’d think twelve years later, they would evolve. They haven’t.
My aunt says it more succinctly, every year they prove just how much of an asshole they are.
It doesn’t pain me like it used to. It encourages prayer.
We pray, and we meditate. Prayer is talking TO God, and meditation is that quiet place that we work on listening FOR God. If w take the time to pray, we must cultivate the same time to wait on God to speak to us, in whatever way he chooses. That takes time and practice.
If I skip my prayers, I am usually dis-eased. And my day will clearly be out of sync. So I set time aside and my prayers are set out for me to see every day when I get up and before I got to bed. I can’t NOT pray, if I’ve created the space to pray.
I wanted a fuller life, better sobriety, so I need to do the work.
It was a good day. Tomorrow will be a great day.
Then the weather goes into the shitter. Let Us Pray !!!
More to come, stay tuned …
Oh, and welcome to all my new subs. It’s good to have you on board.