Hello, My name is Jeremy and I am a Tired Old Queen !!! 40 is the new 30, and in a few days I will celebrate my 47th birthday. I survived AIDS and I am in a place I never imagined or dreamed of. I am in new territory and I don’t quite know what to do with myself these days, so we are figuring it out “on the fly!” by the seat of my pants… just the way I like it …
July 24 2014
The hookup atmosphere in nightlife may have died off, but now there’s room on the dance floor for an older generation. And you don’t even have to know who Liza is to have a good time with them. (But look up Liza, by the way.)
One night, at a nightclub where I was extremely popular, I tried to get into a VIP section, thinking it would be a piece of cake, as usual. But there was a new, 20-ish guy guarding the rope there and he was quite open about not wanting to let me in. As I walked away in dejection, I heard the guy mutter to a friend, “Tired old queen!” I was so horrified I nearly fell over and reached my inevitable death state. I was 29 years old — hardly ready for the glue factory yet. But in the gay club world, where aging seems to be particularly abhorred, I was already heading toward an AARP-like milestone and clearly not eligible for VIP status anymore.
And that was nearly three decades ago! By now, I should be a “tired old queen” times 1,000. I should be shipped directly to the Elmer’s factory on a no-return basis. I’m a walking billboard for the “It Gets Older” campaign, and someone young clubbies probably need to avoid, since older people are generally a reminder of mortality, not something anyone wants to think about when they’re drinking, dancing, and enjoying their own freshness.
But fortunately for mankind, it hasn’t worked out that way. I happen to have good genes, so I look younger than I really am — no, really. Also, all these years of immersing myself in creative scenes and writing about them have given me a certain cachet, so I’ve actually been getting more appreciation than revulsion these days. And I think there’s also been a sea change in the world, a “40 is the new 30” (and so on) feeling that people get better, not older — and gays, as usual, are on top of the trend. As people live longer and garner more visibility for it, there’s not as much ickiness surrounding the fact that they’ve survived. And survived. And survived.
I haven’t had anyone — even club kids — call me a “tired old queen” in years, and I’m thrilled about that. Of course there’s still a downside to being close friends with Father Time: For one thing, you don’t always get offered opportunities because the sense out there is that you’ve shown what you can do and it’s time to let other people try it. But it’s gotten better to be a TOQ, as long as you try to stay relevant without being too needily obvious about it. You need to keep up with the upcoming gays and their references without coming off like grandpa in a scrunchie. It’s important to not lecture too much or offer Sophia Petrillo-like stories of the golden days; they’re boring, even to other old people. (Except for the delightful 29-year-old story that I started this piece with, naturally.) But you also shouldn’t go out of your way to try to sound hip, unless you want to remind people of their grizzled aunt who insists on wearing bikinis by the public pool. In general, oldies should never act like they’re on the same plane as the young, unless they’re Madonna — the only one who can possibly get away with that sort of thing.
Unfortunately, sticking to my aged references may keep me in my comfort zone, but not in others’. Not long ago, I mentioned Liza Minnelli to a 21-year-old woman, who looked as blank as if I’d mentioned Russian composer Alfred Schnittke. She’d never heard of Liza, Cabaret, or even Judy Garland. Granted she wasn’t a gay man, but still, I thought for sure there’d be a little recognition bell ringing, even if just on the order of, “Wasn’t she in the Sex and the City sequel?”
But within the gay world, even preschoolers have heard of Liza, so things are OK. And as gay marriage becomes increasingly prevalent and paves the way for more people looking for partners who’ll love them when they’re old, I think the community will focus less on the vanity, self-consciousness, and fear of aging that has often plagued us in the past. We’re not as shame-based and superficial as we used to be — for the most part — and that carries over into the way we treat other members of the community and, ultimately, ourselves. Meanwhile, my own vanity has prevented me from joining groups like SAGE, which for 46 years has provided valuable support for older LGBTs, because that would be an admission of my wizened state that would be hard to turn back from. (It’s sad, I know, but getting older is complicated.) But I’m still ready to embrace many aspects of being an old gay, as long as my brothers and sisters make room for me and my hanging flesh.
And they have been! Even in bars! These days, the younger gays don’t go clubbing to get picked up — they know they’re going to take care of that via various sites and apps — so the sight of a senior on the dance floor is no longer considered a horrifying cock blocker. More inspiringly, there’s also an open-mindedness about different types of people and their right to coexist, thanks to increased savviness, so the presence of an old queer no longer seems like a visitation from the Ghost of Christmas Future. If anything, the sight of Larry Kramer, Edward Albee, Harvey Fierstein, or maybe even little old me might perk up just about any party.
So when you see me coming, don’t start cringing and yelling “tired old queen!” Don’t even mutter it to your friend. Try instead to think of me as a welcome opportunity for some wit, insight, and Liza talk, as well as a source of information on the more oppressive (yet wilder) days of being gay. We finally woke up and were able to celebrate fat people as “bears,” why not treat older gays as pioneers and wisdom spouters? I won’t go so far as to say “Without me, you’re nothing,” but let’s face it, I definitely helped.
Illustration by Paul Tuller
VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis lauded Jesus’ humble beginning as a poor and vulnerable baby as he celebrated his first Christmas Eve Mass as pontiff Tuesday in St. Peter’s Basilica.
Francis has dedicated much of his nine-month-old papacy to drawing attention to the plight of the poor, of children, and other vulnerable members of society.
In the world’s history and our own personal history, Francis said, “there are both bright and dark moments, lights and shadows. ” He added “if our heart is closed, if we are dominated by pride, deceit, self-seeking, then darkness falls within us and around us.”
At the Vatican during the homily, Francis quoted the Apostle John, saying “‘whoever hates his brother is in the darkness”‘ and “‘does not know the way to go, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”‘
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Wow, Pope Francis really knows how to hit it hard. I so needed to read this passage reported from his first Christmas Eve Mass.
“whoever hates his brother is in the darkness… Because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”
So true So true…
It is the Holiday before the Holiday. And as usual, traveling in the night was problematic. There were more buses going East, than buses going West. So on the way out we waited and waited …
We sat a humble group of folks, who came out of respect for the meeting and also, just for the chance to spend time with each other, before we all wandered off to fulfill family obligations this Christmas Eve.
The chair double dipped tonight, on a topic that, for many, is on the front of many brains during these days, Anger and Resentment.
“Anger is the dubious luxury of normal men, but for us alcoholics it is poison.”
I have been a bit angry and resentful.
The one thing I pray for every year, has not come to pass for me, again this year. And they say that if you pray for something, you must take the next action, thereby giving God an IN to help along that which you pray for.
I opened the holidays with a great effort, out of kindness and love. I took great pains to act in kindness, and once again, it was ignored.
Fuck me …
With all that is going on in the world, the lack of respect of each other from certain celebrity and certain family and politicians, is unnerving and upsetting.
And this week I reached a tipping point.
I culled my twitter account, now only including a handful of folks I want to follow. It bothers me to high heaven, the lengths some will go to denigrate and disrespect other human beings just because we are gay.
I am sick to death of politics.
I am sick of reading, watching, and focusing on people who do nothing but drink, get drunk, and fall down. So I have culled all those folks off my social media platforms. Maybe I am getting old in sobriety, but I just can’t stomach folks who drink alcoholically. Over and Over and Over … And think it is good video to watch on a daily basis.
The same went for Facebook. The only reason I keep it open is to stay in touch with friends here and there. I have culled all that shit that has gone too far and makes we want to puke.
We are Here, We are Queer, Get Used to It.
For Fuck sake …
God damn the celebrity with vile and unacceptable word of condemnation. And fuck the politicians who support them, and the media who give them time on their front pages and on news casts.
God Damn them all to hell.
It’s Christmas for Fuck Sake. Can’t we all get along for one day?
No, that would be too fucking difficult.
Thank the Baby Jesus I live up here, above the Northern Border.
I don’t give a shit about U.S. politics, celebrity with foul mouths, and all those people who rent them free space, because of the First Amendment.
Bullshit … Take them fuckers off the air for good.
Read your God Damned Bibles and try for some compassion and love.
And Jesus Wept !!!
It was good to see my friends. It is the one space on a regular basis that I get to spend time with people I care about and who care about me.
Tomorrow is Christmas. We shall cook and serve others.
I was promised a good story to read after presents tomorrow, so YAY for that. Thanks to a good friend.
I hope you all have a blessed Christmas filled with Light, Joy and Love.
More to come, stay tuned …
What a day …
Well done young man. On his own terms. On his own time.
In his own words.
So it has been a full day of goings on.
Last night we hit Golden Slippers for our meeting since our room was closed last night due to a concert at the church.
I was up early today because I was expecting a pick up from The Salvation Army… that was 9 a.m. this morning. They just got here at almost 5 p.m.
So now the great purge of 2013 is COMPLETE !!!
2 boxes and 4 bags full of clothing, a bag from a friend and a couple of coats were donated to charity. Someone will have a Merry Christmas, I am sure.
There is at least $1000.00 dollars plus of clothing that went to charity.
I spent the afternoon IN my mobile office running errands this afternoon. I bought these new Christmas Cards. In fancy little envelopes. I addressed them and on some I put my return address on the back …
WARNING … do not put your return address on the back of an envelope you are sending, because the reader machines may spit them back.
I had a stack of cards going all over the U.S. and Canada.
I took them to the Post Office and learned that the envelopes were to small, therefore not regulation, and the little address problem.
I took them back and headed to the church to pay rent and pick up a new key for the church, because I am rotating off the Sunday group soon.
And none too soon…
I have new headphones for my phone and they work really well when making calls on the fly. If you aren’t at home, your cell phone is a good tool.
On the way OUT I stopped at Target for some manila envelopes which are bigger and regulation. And took the tunnel through Westmount Square.
I did my business at the church and I had spoken to a friend about tonight’s district meeting, which meant I had to make a second stop at Target on the way home, and then on to the supermarket for some safari.
I got home around three, and sat down and RE-Addressed all my cards to go out in the mail tomorrow.
And just now the guys from the S.A. came to get the clothes.
Thank God. Because when they did not show this morning, I rescheduled the pick up for Friday, but here they were this evening. I didn’t want all those bags sitting in my living room for a week. UGH !!!
Almost time to go …
More to come, stay tuned …
THERE ARE ONLY 23 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS !!!
It is a sad day in the recovery community. But is it really? Millions of people each day die from the effects of alcohol or drugs. For the most part we just let that fact go in one ear and out the other. But we should be alarmed and concerned that addiction takes far too many people in any given year.
Cory Monteith – it was confirmed today, died of an overdose of heroine and alcohol.
It is a tragic loss of such a young life, to addiction. Smack is a killer. But so is alcohol, and when mixed becomes a lethal concoction.
My friend Alex asked this question the other day …
“Did he know that Saturday was going to be his last day on earth?” And “What was going on in his head that he could not just say NO???”
We talked about this subject before the meeting. And the topic came from the Big Book – More about alcoholism… And the great obsession, that one day, we would be able to drink like normal people…
How do you get sober in Hollywood and stay sober, when everybody parties and bar hops and lives life to the fullest. Why deprive ones self the social aspect of living with your costars and friends?
Just a few months out of rehab, that is the most dicey period of a sober persons journey. If you don’t sink into the program right away, your success at staying stopped diminishes by the day and the hour.
Well, I can go to a bar and not drink, but when it comes to mad hatter smack, I just can’t say NO. How many people do I know, or knew, that have died from such an addiction in my life? MANY …
And we say in closing:
“Eternal rest grant him and may perpetual light shine upon him.”
It is just sad.
I’ve seen big names get sober. I’ve met them in meetings, here and in other places. Most of them have succeeded in staying stopped and are successful at their craft. But we will never get to see this now dead, young person, succeed in his craft, because of heroine and alcohol.
Today … for me … the thought of a drink or a drug is far from my mind. My greatest obsession is that one day I would be able to do anything like a normal person.
But what is normal ?
I don’t know what normal is.
Another friend spoke today about having things and being happy … he writes:
I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
Not sure that I have a point here. Just that peace of mind does not depend on having a lot of money, but it sure is connected to how safe one feels and how much one feels in control of one’s life. And we keep searching for the thing that will give us control — money, weapons, power. None of that works. A wise and experienced nun told me once that she had come to realize that life was all about letting go. We live in a culture where life seems to be mostly about grabbing on.
Let go. Breathe. Smile.
Being poor in today’s world is the great fear of many people. Not having food in the fridge or money in your pocket is an obsession. Worrying about where your next meal is coming from or when you will have money to purchase things you need, when at the moment you have none, is my problem.
I am powerless over people, places and things.
It was far more important for my hubby to sit here week in and week out watching that goddamned George Zimmerman trial, night and day, around the clock, rather than spend that time using his efforts in finding a job, which he has failed to do as of yet. But we said those vows.
In sickness and in health for richer or for poorer. Till death do us part.
So I am stuck in a situation that I did not create. But maybe I did, maybe I should have been a cast iron bitch and become bitter and controlling. Shooting my mouth off and loosing my temper.
In as many years in sobriety, I have only lost my temper, truly, twice in twelve tears. And never at home.
Yes, I am disappointed. And over dinner the other night, I voiced my displeasure and I let it go at that. I had to, because if I didn’t let it go, the hamster would get on the wheel and the obsession would take hold and I would end up insane and crazy and wanting something to cut the edge off.
It is good that when I got up this morning and things were in the tank, I picked up my phone and called a friend, who carted me to and from the meeting tonight. It is good that at the meeting I go to on Tuesday nights, are other men my age who I can talk to and a couple of men with serious sober time who are wise and tell me how it is and what I need to do to change things.
I can’t get that same advice in a room full of women. I just don’t think pissing and moaning in a room full of women is going to do me any good. Not at the moment.
So I am winging it . one day at a time . one moment at a time .
That is all.
More to come, stay tuned …
“Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God”
Stephen Colbert …
We learn tonight that Steven Tyler is leaving the American Idol franchise to return to what he does well, SING !!! Tyler is reported to say that “It is time to bring rock back.”
Aerosmith played Laval, Quebec on Tuesday night to crowds of adoring fans.
We wish him well in all his endeavors.
Lifted from: DanNation.Org
“There’s something kinetic about him and his being. He’s classically sexy, yet he’s very much a boy in his energy. It’s a great dynamic. When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David’s the antithesis of that. He’s more like Tigger. I’m, in turn, very introspective — the thinker, rather than the doer. I tend to weigh options before making decisions, and David is the polar opposite of that. We’re hyper similar and also incredibly opposite. We share a wardrobe. We have the same shoe size, body size, height, and weight. We’re both Gemini. We both like the idea of family — not a nuclear family, but a social family. Yet, we’re incredibly opposite in the way we process information.”
Neil Patrick Harris on partner David Burtka, in Out magazine.
I love this piece. Hubby and I are very similar. I will have to get a copy of this.
Such a gifted entertainer. But in the end it was the drink/drugs that killed her.
Eternal rest grant her and may perpetual light shine upon her.
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LONDON (Reuters) – Amy Winehouse, one of the most talented singers of her generation whose hit song “Rehab” summed up her struggles with addiction, died in London on Saturday at the age of 27.
The Grammy winner, famed for her black beehive hair, soulful voice and erratic behaviour on and off stage, was found dead at her new home in Camden a month after a shambolic performance in Serbia forced her to cancel her entire European tour.
Police were called to the address at around 1500 GMT and nearly five hours later the body was removed for a post mortem after it appeared she had lost her battle with drink and drugs.
“Inquiries continue into the circumstances of the death,” said police superintendent Raj Kohli. “At this early stage it is being treated as unexplained and there have been no arrests in connection with the incident.”
He said reports that Winehouse had died of a suspected drugs overdose were speculation at this stage.
Family members had long warned that Winehouse’s lifestyle, which saw her in and out of rehab and blighted her career as a live and recording artist, could be her downfall.
It is a full plate kind of night. It is Tuesday on top of that. I had a lot to do today and a full day to do it.First, I had to take some time to do my readings and pray. And I start my day reading a sober blog written by a man named Dan. [...And I am Somebody]. He is a member from Minneapolis. He has a blog that he is writing on from Mexico right now. We have been on lake Atitlan for the last 2 weeks. You can click the link and go read him. It is a fabulous read.
After I caught up on my daily readings I set off for the afternoon.
This afternoon I did my housework and shopping done for the meeting and hurried out at 4 p.m.
I just had a feeling.
I got to the church, it was just me and God for almost 1.5 hours. I set up quietly and efficiently. And then went upstairs to sit outside and people watch in the neighborhood. It was a beautiful day today. Not too hot or humid. But just right.
We had a good showing for the early meeting. And a few newcomers attending their first meeting. And lucky us, one of our old timers came to visit us today, which was a real treat. It is good to see friends come to visit, even if they were on a 12 step mission.
The room was buzzing with spirituality. It was great. We did the swap out and readied for the late meeting. And tonight’s speaker came to us from Friday Finchley.
I’ve never heard someone of another culture share at a meeting before. And I have a lot to write about this topic. Our speaker got sober in the 90’s and is originally from Iran. He has been in Canada for many years, having fled the country after the revolution.
He spoke of Shah time, a time when the Shah of Iran was in power and Iran was more Western than it is today under the hard line regime. Iran, he told us, was more European. Men and women could socialize in the same spaces, go to school together and alcohol was not forbidden as hard line Islam decrees. The eldest of seven children he grew up in an oppressive home with a father who was in the military.
He lost his father at 43, and military service was mandatory. He shared bits and pieces of his life story, and I was captivated with his story. When alcohol was forbidden opium became easier to get.
Cultures are very different. Yet our speaker tonight told us a story about fear, hatred, misery and addiction. After the revolution, he sent one of the brothers to the UK for university because that was not an option for many in Iran. He fled the country via a second country to get to Canada.
This is where things get interesting. And I have to ask him about this at a later time, but he did not explain his religious practice at this time, being a Muslim man in Montreal. But alcohol is forbidden in Islamic custom.
Coming to Canada did not stop him from starting a bender that almost killed him, and ended him up in the pen. He got out of the pen and went to rehab and started doing meetings. And you could tell that there was passion in his voice about gratitude, thanks and just how serious he takes his program today.
I was speechless at the end of his share. I was so touched by his story and his courage to persist, to stay sober, to be connected to meetings, a home group and service. He truly carried the message, from one side of the world to another. It was a great honor to have him speak for us tonight.
We had newbies at the late meeting, We gave one chip away, we had one silent pick up from the desk while I was counting money and we sold a Big Book, which I let go for half price, Rick is gonna kick my ass. But that boy I sold it to promised he would return to the meeting next week.
Hubby downloaded the next episode of Deadliest Catch, Redemption the other day and I skimmed through it but did not concentrate on the last 5 minutes of the show word for word. Tonight we watched it on tv. I am glad I saw it on tv tonight and not a few days ago, even if I know what happens in the end.
In the last moments of the episode Phil looses his life after having a second incident. After doctors worked on him for a long while there came a point that a decision had to be made to end life saving procedures.
Jake is off to rehab. Josh now is in Anchorage taking care of dad, who has passed away. The crews on the Bering Sea are facing a 1000 km size storm at sea. And Next week, Valhalla, Josh will contact the fleet about his fathers passing. That much I know.
Hopefully Jake won’t go crazy and get all up in the bottle. We shall see, if he stays or he returns to Anchorage. Hopefully he stays on the straight and narrow.
That was my day in a nutshell. Goodness, sadness, and gratitude for a good day spent with friends and fellows in the program. I am very glad that I am sober today because I get to do fantastic things like I shared with you tonight.
more to come, stay tuned…
I got a sneak copy of the next episode of Deadliest Catch and it seems that things are on the level. We are still an episode shy of Valhalla, here with Redemption. Jake checked himself into a rehab in Seattle. He made the right choice. Better he be there safe, clean, and sober, than out in the world on a self destructive path. I see that Valhalla, the last episode of the season will run in the states on July 20th. I imagine that we are still a week off the schedule here.
It seems that the other crews are facing their own demons on the Time Bandit, Northwestern and the others that slip my mind at this hour. What will happen to Deadliest Catch next season???
Hopefully I will get the copy of Valhalla before the air date.
I hope that what Jake started he finished cleanly. And even with the passing of his father, that he stayed on path.
More to come, Stay tuned…
Found on: The L.A. Times Online Here.
February 9, 2010 | 9:14 pm
Phil Harris, captain of the Cornelia Marie on the Discovery Channel show “Deadliest Catch,” has died.
On the show’s Web page, where updates on Harris’ condition had been posted since his Jan. 30 stroke, sons Jake and Josh Harris gave notice of their father’s passing:
“It is with great sadness that we say goodbye to our dad — Captain Phil Harris. Dad has always been a fighter and continued to be until the end. For us and the crew, he was someone who never backed down. We will remember and celebrate that strength. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. — Jake and Josh Harris”
Harris, who was based out of Seattle, suffered the stroke during an offload of crab. He was found unconscious in a stateroom, was airlifted to Anchorage for 12 hours of surgery, then placed in a medically induced coma. He’d shown signs of improvement last week, squeezing hands and even telling his doctors and nurses, in his signature gruff style, to not screw things up.
“Deadliest Catch” follows several crews working the Bering Sea during the area’s crab fishing seasons. Harris, a 32-year crab fisherman, was a co-owner of the Cornelia Marie, which he’d captained for 18 years; Jake and Josh work on the ship as deck hands, and Josh had remained on the ship immediately after his dad’s stroke, awaiting the arrival of relief captain to continue the work.
Discovery Channel in its statement referred to Harris as “more than someone on our television screen. Phil was a devoted father and loyal friend to all who knew him. We will miss his straightforward honesty, wicked sense of humor and enormous heart.”
– Christie D’Zurilla
Photo: Capt. Phil Harris with sons Josh, left, and Jake, right. Credit: Discovery Channel.
LOS ANGELES, Calif. –
Oprah Winfrey will announce on Friday that her popular daytime talk show, “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” will end its run in 2011, Tim Bennett, the President of Harpo, announced in a letter released to ABC affiliates on Thursday.
“Tomorrow, Oprah will announce live on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ that she has decided to end what is arguably one of the most popular, influential and enduring programs in television history,” he wrote in the letter, obtained by Access Hollywood. ” The sun will set on the ‘Oprah’ show as its 25th season draws to a close on September 9, 2011.”
Bennett said he was sending out the letter to keep the affiliates from being surprised at tomorrow’s announcement.
“Before she speaks to her loyal viewers, we wanted to share her decision first with you – our valued partners for more than two decades,” he wrote.
And he urged the stations to “share this news this evening with your colleagues and viewers.”
“Oprah’s personal comments about this on tomorrow’s live show will mark a historic television moment that we will all be talking about for years to come,” he added.
Just a few weeks ago, a rep for Oprah said the TV queen planned to make an announcement by year’s end about whether she was planning to make a leap from her current daytime talk show to her previously announced cable channel, the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).
It appears the decision was one that was made only recently. Just two weeks ago — at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in New York City — Oprah’s best friend, Gayle King, said Oprah was still weighing her options.
“I know she’s thinking,” Gayle told Access. “I know she’s thinking.”
But Gayle said she wasn’t playing advisor over the decision, just longtime friend.
“Listen, Oprah and I have been friends since we were 21 and 22 and now we’re 54 and 55,” she said, citing her and Oprah’s ages, respectively. “We talk about everything but she’s a big girl. She will make the decision that is right for her. No question about that. Whatever that is. It’ll be the right decision for her.”
Previously, at the September Toronto premiere for “Precious,” a film Oprah executive produced, Oprah revealed she was still putting in the deliberation hours.
“I haven’t made a decision yet and I have until the end of the year,” she said. “But you know I think that deserves more thoughtful consideration than a red carpet.”
No details were available about the rumored move to OWN and a rep for Discovery was not immediately available for comment when contacted by Access.
MADRID (AFP) – Boyzone singer Stephen Gately, 33, died on Saturday while on holiday in Majorca off the coast of Spain, the Irish band with a string of hits in the 1990s said on its website.
“Stephen tragically died yesterday whilst on holiday with his partner Andrew in Majorca,” the site said on Sunday.
The Boyzone members, including lead singer Ronan Keating, were heading to Majorca following news of the death.
The circumstances surrounding Gately’s death remained unclear but (Britain’s) News of the World newspaper reported he died after a night out.
Boyzone manager Louis Walsh told the newspaper: “We’re all absolutely devastated.”
He said: “I’m in complete shock. I was only with him on Monday at an awards ceremony. We don’t know much about what’s happened yet… He was a great man.”
Speaking to the newspaper late Saturday, band member Shane Lynch said: “Me and the boys are flying out in the morning.
“We just need to get over to where he’s passed and work out what we need to do.”
Gately, who married his partner Andrew Cowles in a civil union in 2006, sent ripples through the pop music world 10 years ago when he announced that he was gay.
He joined Boyzone in 1993 after answering an advert in Dublin to audition for Ireland’s first boyband.
The band went on to enjoy huge success with six number one singles in Britain, but split up in 2000.
They reunited seven years later, but their recent 19-date Better tour failed to fill stadiums, despite offers of free tickets.
Gately also starred in West End musicals in London, including “Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”.
Boyzone lead singer Keating was “completely distraught”, the News of the World said, and former Irish prime minister Bertie Ahern paid tribute to Gately, whom he knew, on the BBC’s Andrew Marr show.
He said: “The Gatelys are in my own constituency. I know the family, I know Stephen.
“He (Gately) was with us the other night with his boyfriend Andy, he came to my book launch.”
Ahern, whose daughter Georgina is married to Nicky Byrne of boyband Westlife, continued: “It’s just such a tragedy.
“Boyzone and Stephen, they’ve all been part of Irish life and far wider than that, the last 15 years, and so successful, so it’s a huge, huge tragedy. It’s so sad.”
Gately last posted a message on his Twitter page on October 6, writing: “Still busy, lots going on. Focusing on finishing my book next so may be quiet here.”
British actor and comedian Stephen Fry said on Twitter that he was shocked at the news.
“Just heard the very sad news about dear Stephen Gately. What a dreadful shock. He was loveable and sweet natured and will be hugely missed.”
Stephen Gately has died.
The 33-year-old Boyzone singer passed away in his sleep yesterday (10.10.09) while holidaying on the Spanish island of Majorca with his partner Andrew Cowles – who he wed in a civil ceremony in March 2006 – and friends.
His manager Louis Walsh said: “We’re all absolutely devastated. I’m in complete shock. I only saw him on Monday at an awards ceremony. We don’t know much about what happened yet.
“He was a great man.”
The ‘Love Me For A Reason’ singer’s friends are mystified by his death, which happened after a night out.
One pal said: “It looks like he went for a few drinks, then got back, fell asleep and never woke up.”
Fellow Boyzone star Ronan Keating – who is currently in Chicago – is said to be “devastated” by the news.
A source said: “Ronan is completely distraught. No-one saw this coming. He loved Stephen like a brother, they were close. It’s absolutely floored him.
“It’s a massive shock to everyone and no one can take it in yet. He was a man in the prime of his life, and this is a huge tragedy.”
Stephen’s bandmates – Ronan, Shane Lynch, Keith Duffy and Mikey Graham – are planning to fly to Majorca tomorrow (12.10.09) .
Shane told Britain’s News of the World newspaper: “Me and the boys are flying out. We just need to get over to where he’s passed and work out what we need to do.”
Boyzone formed in 1993 and achieved six UK number one singles.
They disbanded in 2000 – with Stephen the first member to launch a solo career – and reformed in 2007.