Evolution (Fall Photo Essay #1)
Sunday 9 September 2007
Temp: 18c
Cloudy – Cool
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Today marks the beginning of my Fall Evolution Photography Project. Here you have three shots from my balcony of the trees in the neighborhood and at the bottom, Cabot Square. If you notice on these photos that the trees are starting to “lighten up,” I will be posting this series of photos over the next few months to photo document the seasons changing.
As you can see – I have updated my blog photos and I will be taking other shots of the neighborhood and my travels around the city. So stay tuned for much more photography in the coming months.
Photo Essay #9 Storm Clouds and Color
The sky was leaden as the sun set behind the dark clouds. It was the colors that attracted my camera. I just had to get the shot, before the light faded.
Hurrican Dean from the I.S.S.
Hurricane Dean from the International Space Station/NASA
He moves in mysterious ways…
Have you ever seen God? Would you know what to look for, if you knew for a fact that He would show his face? Do you know for sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that God exists?
Of all the meetings that I have been going to over the last five and a half years, there is one true location that God seems to make his presence known to people in attendance. That meeting would be Tuesday’s Beginners. St. Leon’s is a hallowed church in Westmount. And the members of our meeting never shy away from the spiritual and better yet, none of our members take for granted the fact that they can talk about God as they would any other subject.
Our meeting has been in existence for over 56 years. Several incarnations later and decades following we have seen people come, and go and come and go and come again… And I can tell you with certainty that I have seen God move throughout the room. There is just a feeling, a visual of light that comes from above (the church) and comes down through the ceiling and rests in the middle of the room.
People are having spiritual experiences, and we see it happen week in and week out. People remark that they feel so safe and comfortable in our room. And we find that slippers come back to us to restart their “journeys” after periods of further alcoholic experimentation. Another woman returned to us after a decade of struggle. Today’s topic was “what do you do to guarantee your sobriety?” Nothing guarantees our sobriety better than intensive work with another alcoholic.
My friend KEN came up from Toronto – one of my readers here at my blog. We met some weeks ago at the memorial service for his brother Craig, at St. James United. I had invited him to a meeting when he came to visit. He came to our meeting today, and what a joyous time we all had. We get visitors from all over the world – come to our meeting, and they all leave with a sense of calm and sober understanding.
The last visitor who came to our meeting and told us that God did not exist and that he was a confirmed Atheist, left that meeting and never returned! ‘Coincidence?’ I think not.
On the way home tonight I was walking with Louise and I told her about my perception of God’s power and light finding its way into the meeting and she said to me, “You aren’t the only one to say that, many people believe that God visits our meeting because we honor Him and we talk about Him and we pray to him unified and believing.
So many people have come through our room, and we are as constant as the North Star. We are a place of safety and love. We are always welcoming and spiritually centered, even when we run insane and crazy, the one true fact is that I believe that tonight, like may nights before, God came, saw and shown his light to those who were there.
A woman who had returned spoke of God to me after the meeting. And I told her “you saw the light, have you!” He was here; he is always here, because we seek him with sincere and humble hearts. We gather in his name, there is not one non-believer in the group. Yet we don’t push religion – or faith. But we speak boldly about a Higher Power, who just happens to be God for many of us.
I have seen him change hearts and heal lives and He has made people well, and sober. He has carried their burdens and held them when they wept. He has blessed so many with good things, and people come to express gratitude for all great things, and we all know that there are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. People are put into our paths for specific reasons if you are able to divine those reasons as the need arises.
I see the face of God in the people I serve. I see the Christ in those who struggle and I see the spirit in those who have been renewed and healed. Look out into the trees and see his divine hand in creation, in the fall, see him paint the city in colors as bright as the sun. And in the Winter I wait for the silence, for that one true night when the clouds fall and the hush falls over the city as the first flake of winter snow falls, I rush outside and I welcome the voice of God as he whispers to the city… “I am here…”
I have seen him, and I know his voice…
And if you hear his voice today, Harden not your hearts.
The Tams in Montreal
The Tams in Montreal
Woo Hoo my first production video from Mount Royal taken with my new camera.
Enjoy!!!
Ugh, after all that work, there is a freakin typo at the end of the video!!
*ACK*
It is so wickedly HOT!!!
Time: 8:05 p.m.
Temp: 30c
Humidex: 38c
High Heat and Humidity Warning still in effect…
They warned us last night that today the mercury would rise farther up the thermometer than we had seen it in a years time. They weren’t kidding. Not having air conditioning is a pain in the ass, and the fact that we face West with 2 rooms with full windows on both walls makes it even harder. I turned down the dark shades on the widows to try and block the sunlight from frying the apartment and both my wind towers are running at full speed. We can’t “hang” a portable AC unit 17 stories up because it isn’t safe, seeing that directly below on the ground floor is the entrance to the garage, and God forbid a unit falls and kills somebody.
I met with one of my friends today and we had a great discussion. I know that a lot of people read yesterdays entry but once again, nobody leaves comments, so I don’t know what the community at large thinks about what I wrote. I wish, at least, that some of you would engage in a conversation. but oh well. Never expect …
I guess I will leave it there for tonight. I’ve got a whopper headache and I can’t think straight, not that I could ever think “Straight!” mu ha ha ha ha ha!!!
OH GOD – SEND US SNOW!!!!
Custodians of a Living Earth …
I’m reading again, “I Heard the Owl Call My Name” and I am in the mindset to write about the custodianship of the living earth. The earth is in a shift, I think we can all agree on that – and attention is now on prevention and maintenance of the earth as it exists today. I have written recently about the fact that many people in my own community are not “Being Maintained” by anyone, they are lost among the crowd, banished to sidewalks, doorways and shelters. What can I do to change that? Write…
What if the governments of the world decided to stop warring and fighting amongst themselves? How much money would we have to spend on other things like food, shelter and water? I heard a comment on late night radio last night that
“There will be wars fought over drinking water!”
I am sure that there are some who think about the Order who seek to bring down the number of earths inhabitants by the millions. There is a surplus in population in certain areas of the world, and for some that is too much, and they would rather see them eradicated than to house and feed them.
The earth is sputtering on its axis. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Hurricane, Oceanic changes to salinity and food source and the cooling of warm water fisheries all over the globe are causing catastrophic changes to major areas of the worlds oceans. How many more signs do we need from Mother Earth to tell us that something is wrong? And if we don’t stop with our preoccupation with war, division, killing and ignorance, that when “IT” happens we will not survive whatever IT will unleash.
I know better than to sit in my what if’s and coulda, woulda, shoulda! I can look out my windows from here and see trees and grass and the mountain off to the North. We can look out at our world and know that there are forests and people and animals who live amongst that forest. Forests are burning – trees are dying – infestations of beetles are killing swaths of forest across Canada, borne on the winds moving West to East. But I wonder what haven’t we done as custodians of the earth to try and mitigate these things from happening.
What if, The Almighty came down from heaven and told warring factions to lay down their arms, and those in power were removed and power was granted to the masses to govern themselves and the wars stopped all over the earth, not just in certain areas. All the warring areas on the globe. What if we heard from on high that “they” believe that wars fought over ideologies and factions needed to end today, right now, for us to stop killing each other and become custodians to one another. How would that change the face of the earth?
Is there a way for the world to get up and state unanimously that the wars should end? Can we impeach presidents around the world, in countries that are sponsoring, funding and are waging wars on other peoples? Do you see what I am asking here?
We truly need to depose several key world leaders, and the American President AND his entire cabinet need to be removed from office, sooner than later. Because America has been hijacked and “Nazi Control” is becoming an adjective to explain George W. Bush.
Mr. Bush, we are not With you -
And We Stand Against You!! It is time to leave Office…
DO WE want to maintain another Hitler in office? Do we want this man making law and imposing unconstitutional amendments upon his people and the world? Because if he does it – the world is watching and you know, the only reason Hitler was so successful at what he did in the Holocaust, was because the people listened to him, and if the American President can do what he is doing, that gives free reign to other leaders to do the same!!! Bush still has the ears of many world leaders, who are not MAN or WOMAN enough to say NO! We will not follow you. So what do we do?
There are some in power who would see people determined to be locked down and subjugated. That is already happening all over the globe, in many countries. Darfur, Sudan and in other areas of Africa, people are corralled into camps, with no water, electricity or better yet SHELTER. People are being slaughtered by militia men. We need to stop them and the killing needs to end. Genocide is happening in OUR time once again, and on many fronts, we must stop the genocide because:
“We Have Failed to Remember
and We Have Failed to Never
Let It Happen Again”
In the Middle East, the most contentious area of the globe, not to mention Iraq and the Fertile Crescent area of the world including Afghanistan, the militias and the Taliban are trying to eradicate (on a mass scale) entire peoples akin to the likes of Adolf Hitler. If we prayed for the savior to come again and save us, this would be the time and the place.
We must now act, decisively and verbally. We need to lobby those who are in power to do the right thing. We need to Impeach the President. We need to stop the killing in Darfur, we need to stop the wars in the Middle East, Iraq and Afghanistan. We need people on the ground who can be trusted to help reconcile the factions that are fighting with each other and those factions who have fighting going on within themselves. We need ambassadors to get in the game and negotiations must be made to end the worlds strife and wars. If we don’t start this now, WHO is going to take our place later to hold those in office accountable for
“Crimes Against Humanity”
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It’s not about who – but What is in this photo, read on…
There are too many people around the globe, being ignored. There are entire continents and nations of people that need to be cared for, not to forget those people in warring countries who need to be fed, re-housed and repatriated back to where they came from, those who had to flee to save their own lives. Rich countries sit back and say “we are doing all we can for those inside our borders.”
Yet on the European continent we know for a fact that there are disenfranchised peoples, in the millions, who are not being cared for properly because of the arrogance of status, ethnic superiority and ignorance to accept everyone for who they are not what form of dress or religious affiliation they identify with.
It comes down to the people to start the tide of Anarchy and Dissension. It is time to take back our land and our government from those who have taken it from us. They have been poor stewards of the land, the environment and of peoples. We must stop this – there is too much conflict in the world, so much that any “other” needs are being ignored at the expense of the whole, for a chosen few.
It Is Time to:
Bring the Soldiers Home – Stop the Wars. You either follow certain prescriptions here: (1) You bring ALL warring leaders to Justice, (2) Let them kill each other and save us the headache, or (3) You bring ‘Just’ Diplomatic Solutions to Warring Factions and Areas – and Sit Down and HAMMER out Peace Agreements and Co-Existence Clauses.
Isn’t it time to sit down and think and come to the realization that what war has done for the last 4 years has NOT worked, so let’s allow the Diplomats to work on Peace.
The Mission is NOT Accomplished.
Peace and Democracy has not been attained and WON’T be attained with the present course of action. WAR does not create Democracy – it Breeds Contempt, Rancor, Hatred and brings Division instead of creating Unity.
In Stopping Wars, Governments Agree to Equal care to all Soldiers repatriated home and for their families. And Agree to Rebuild war torn areas with the funds used to carry out war, and Care for those most affected by the war in their Respective regions.
This applies to Canada and the United States and All Countries involved in wars worldwide. It is NOT Unpatriotic to stand against WAR!! It is NOT Unpatriotic to stand against a President or a sitting Prime Minister.
Democracy is built on the premise of government for the people by the people !! Well People need to start speaking out for Change…
The ‘People’ are being AND have been hugely ignored, save those who support the puppet in office and his cronies he protects. The Ship is Sinking – and is Going down. Who is going to save us? It comes down to us, those of us who are writing around the world, to speak up and ask each and every one of our readers to join this movement. To call your leaders and rulers to task, to make them accountable not only to you the citizens of the country that you reside in, but also to the immigrants who have resettled there as well. Leaders need to be accountable to the earth as well.
Or We Shall Pay when Catastrophe Occurs
We cannot remain self absorbed and self centered. We must step beyond the borders of nationalism and ethnic superiority. We all must be made equal, in that we must begin to love and take care of each other and to become custodians of the world at large, and it begins with me. It begins with you. It continues with US. We must, with a resounding voice say “we have had enough of this…” It is time to end this.
Before We Kill Each Other Trying to create Peace !!!
We must become better custodians to the earth. If we stop the raping and pillaging of the land, we must stop the wars, we must stop the killing of innocents. We must stop the tide of suicide bombers. West and East must come together. The West and The East must agree NEVER to wage war again, however possible that is… We must find peaceful and RIGHT means to the future sustaining of the worlds populations. We MUST find an earthly solution, if we must, a heavenly solution.
“We Have Failed to Remember
and We Have Failed to Never
Let It Happen Again”
You who live safe
In your warm houses,
You who find, returning in the evening,
Hot food and friendly faces:
Consider if this is a man
Who works in the mud
Who does not know peace
Who fights for a scrap of bread
Who dies because of a yes and a no.
Consider if this is a woman,
Without hair and without name
With no more strength to remember,
Her eyes empty and her womb cold
Like a frog in winter
Meditate that this came about:
I commend these words to you.
Carve them in your hearts
At Home, in the street,
Going to bed, rising;
Repeat them to your children,
Or may your house fall apart,
May illness impede you,
May your children turn their faces from you.
Primo Levi
Survival in Auschwitz
Foggy Montreal … Photo Essay 4
Current Conditions:
Temp: 18c
Humidity: 100%
Winds: NE 11km/h
FOG: visibility 100 m
Night Photography – Flash and Zoom lens on Alexis Nihon Plaza/
Answer the Call …
As part of the Live Earth concerts, people are spreading the word about ways to be part of the worldwide effort. I have signed the PLEDGE
Please go to www.liveearth.org and take action yourself.
You can see all 8 Live Earth concerts live and on demand at www.liveearth.msn.com – and you can take action there, too!
Thank you so much.
The New Seven Wonders:
- Christ the Redeemer, Brasil
- The Great Wall, China
- Machu Piccu, Peru
- Petra, Jordan
- The Roman Colloseum, Rome
- The Taj Mahal, India
- Chichen Itza, Mexico
Global vote picks Seven Wonders
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The Great Wall of China is among the modern-day Seven Wonders |
A non-profit foundation has named the Seven New Wonders of the World at a ceremony in Lisbon, Portugal. The Great Wall of China, Machu Picchu in Peru, Brazil’s Statue of Christ Redeemer, the Colosseum in Rome and Jordan’s Petra all made the list.
The Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza in Mexico and India’s Taj Mahal were also picked, but England’s Stonehenge and the Eiffel Tower in Paris missed out.
Organisers say about 100m people cast votes over the internet and by phone.
The New7Wonders campaign is the brainchild of a Swiss man, Bernard Weber, who has had a varied career as a film-maker and museum curator.
Recognising achievements
American actress Hilary Swank said at the presentation ceremony: “Never before in history have so many people participated in a global decision.”
Organisers say the contest was a chance to recognise the achievements of societies outside Europe and the Middle East.
There are fears the ruins at Chichen Itza could have too many tourists |
The original list of seven wonders was established more than 2,000 years ago by Greek scholars.
It included the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Colossus of Rhodes, the ancient lighthouse outside Alexandria, the great pyramid at Giza – the only survivor – and three other long-vanished edifices.
The campaign has been some six years in the making.
But the United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organization (Unesco) – which has long had its own World Heritage List – has criticised the organisation’s approach.
Unesco argues that the list is very limited. Its own World Heritage List numbers sites including 660 cultural and 166 natural.
Success in the competition will not be popular with everyone.
Archaeologists said the Mayan ruins, at Chichen Itza in south-eastern Mexico could be hit by an avalanche of additional visitors and that the extra wear and tear could force authorities to limit the tourist traffic.
Live Earth from Montreal
It has been a quiet day today. I have the house to myself. I got some much needed chores done around the house, with musical accompaniment. At 5:00p.m. eastern time, Madge played Wembly in London. It was a great set from Madonna. She sang “Hey You” with a young peoples chorus, “Ray of Light” and “La Isla Bonita” and finally “Hung Up.” It was like going to the concert itself because she had all her dancers, props and even the stage set up for the runway portion of her music. Fantastic. I only video taped the last number.
If you are interested you can visit the “Live Earth.Org Site”
We started watching the concerts last night from Sydney. It is time to get conscious and start making a difference. I am waiting on the new Canadian Tire to reopen up the block before I start my Summer renovations. The “Tire” is upgrading and doubling its size in the mall, and we have some much needed renovations that need to happen as the sun has charred all of our window blinds and they are falling apart. Light bulbs need to be replaced and the new “green” bulbs are not cheap. But nonetheless, Montrealers are very active in the recycling and green initiatives. So we do our part. I don’t have a car so my carbon footprint isn’t that BIG!
So what will you do to change the world? And have you started? Share with my readers what you have done to help the planet. Comments are open and always appreciated.
It's raining – It's Pouring …
Montreal 28 June 2007 – 3:06 a.m.
Current Conditions: Temp: 20c / Humidex: 27 / Humidity: 96%
Winds: SSE – 4kmh Severe humidity and heat warning, Torrential Rain overnight and massive lightening strikes all over the city. Rain is coming down in sheets like bands of a hurricane. We haven’t seen rain like this in a many months.
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It’s raining, it’s pouring
My lovelife is boring me to tears, after all these years
No sunshine, no moonlight, no stardust, no sign of romance
We don’t stand a chance
I always dreamed I’d found the perfect lover
But he turned out to be like every other man
I’ve loved,
I’ve loved
Raining (raining)
Pouring (pouring)
There’s nothing left for us here
And we won’t waste another tear
If you’ve had enough, don’t put up with his stuff, don’t you doit
If you’ve had your fill, get the check pay the bill, you can doit
Tell him to just get out,
Nothing left to talk about
Pack his raincoat show him out
Just look him in the eye and simply shout:
Enough is enough
I can’t go on, I can’t go on no more no
Enough is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now
Enough is enough
Enough is enough
That’s enough
The Church of St. Louis (where I grew up)
The unassuming building hides among the homes that line the street where my former High School is located, Palmetto Senior High. You’d never know such a church exists until you happen upon it driving down 120th street. Since many years there are tall sentinel palm trees that line the streets adjacent to the church grounds. This most peculiar “space ship” looking church would gather thousands upon thousands of parishoners over the years.
This would become home for many, and later a place of education for students. An aspiration that was the brainchild of one Rev. Father James Fetscher. The leader of a rag tag bunch of men who knew their faith and led us through life with their wisdom, faith and love. Many of us came to know God here, and many young people came to know the love and forgiveness and most importantly the “acceptance” of Jesus, no matter who we were or what road we traveled.
The landscaping around the Church and school site lends to the natural beauty of the plants and trees and also accents the neighborhood and this oasis of spiritual life is an amazing retreat away from the world outside not far away.
We would walk up the street from the High school and have lunch on the grounds every day during the school year. The proximity of sacred space to the profane world of life and school lent to the fostering of a spiritual life and practice. As long as one kept their minds and hearts on the life of Jesus once could not go wrong.
Looking from the West end of the courtyard and the (then) Religious Education and Youth Ministry offices this is the courtyard of St. Louis Catholic church. I spent many a day and night sitting in this courtyard with my friends, with ministry leaders and fellow parishioner’s who attended mass in this amazing church. The architecture is unlike any church many had ever seen. It’s modern lines and circular and dome themes are prevalent all over the church campus.
There is a noticed departure from sharp lines and corners, the builders of this space, moved away from the “square – box” method of church building when the new sanctuary was built. All the outdoor accents and seating have curved edges which invites people to sit and linger. To gather and converse. To the right of the photo you see a raised seating area, where many of us met to travel around the city on ministry projects and retreats all over the world.
We celebrated the 25th anniversary of the Church outside in this square when I was a teen ager. Imagine the congregation being seated in the square and the celebration of Holy Eucharist in the open air, it was quite an amazing time in our church history.
The Great Doors – each door with its own religious themes replaces wooden doors over the years. Under the most amazing domed reception area outside the main sanctuary and chapel and Blessed Sacrament Chapel which is open twenty four hours a day with someone always praying before the Blessed Sacrament.
Inside these doors sits a baptismal fount / fountain which gurgles with the flow of blessed water for the worshipers in the church as they come to mass. A very holy “oasis” amid the architectural masterpiece that is the main sanctuary of St. Louis.
A very special anecdote: The battle of the aspersorium (L), aspergill (Eng). When the four horsemen where together on the altar, Fr’s Fetscher, Kish, McGowan and Fr. Radloff, on certain holy days when the blessing of the people with holy water would take place, it was a battle of the men to see who would drown the other in Holy Water. As each High Holy Mass was celebrated, the ‘main’ celebrant would usually change. So each would have his turn in dowsing the other with massive amounts of Holy water from the aspergill. It was a hoot to sit on the altar and watch this little ‘in house’ competition progress over the years.
This is the main sanctuary. The most amazing Holy Space ever to be built. Built in the spirit of the Roman Amphitheater style, there is not one bad sight line in the entire space. With the sanctuary in the “round” and banked as the amphitheaters of antiquity, the worshipers are witness to the theatrics of the Holy Mass.
To the right and left of the brick altar area are large blank walls, as I began to attend church here, there was the move from hand held lectionaries-missals and song books to a more multi-media savvy congregation. With hands free worship there wasn’t the need to take the focus away from the action going on – on the altar or within the sacred space.
All of the spoken words, prayers, responses and music and as well, audio visual accompaniment for the mass are projected onto the walls (left and right) of the altar. This audio visual lends to the complete participation of everyone in the worship space. No one is preoccupied with looking down into some book or missal. All eyes are front and center, participating in the rites of Holy Mass and the celebration of Eucharist.
Lighting is a very important component to worship in this space. As you notice in this photograph, light is concentrated on the altar itself, and the congregation is darkened to bring lighted accent to the location of celebration, the ‘focal point’ of the Eucharist, the altar and the main celebrant. Over to the far right of the altar, located off screen is the band pit where the light controls are located. As mass progresses from start to finish, the lighting in the entire sanctuary moves. Lighting is the indicator of movement, and in this space with the wood accents and white walls, light and shadow play off each other as mass is presented each weekend.
Tucked in between the levels of the aisles, are the entrance doors, for entry and exit and also to the left of the altar stones in the funerary doors which allow access for the caskets of the deceased to be brought into the sanctuary for blessed rites of Christian burial. The immense size of the main sanctuary lends to fantastical processions on high holy days and the procession of ministers on any given Sunday.
A wedding procession of a bride through the space to meet her husband at the central point directly in front of the altar bricks is just an amazing vision. Circular lines of the space lend to the flowing of people and ministers throughout the space. There are no sharp corners or the interruption of the flow of people and holiness.
The lighting moves from the main sanctuary to the celebratory area, where the celebrant, lectors and the cantor take their places during mass. Above and behind the main altar you notice the gold colored wall which houses a projection room above and behind the altar space. This back lit screen also adds audio visual accompaniment to the mass.
On any given Sunday you will see the liturgical theme of the day, the liturgical color of the Christian Liturgical season and also progressive slide shows during High Holy Days and celebrations. The ‘Easter Vigil’ is the highest liturgical celebration in this space. Mass on Holy Saturday is the most cosmic and most amazing presentation of high mass theatrical worship I have ever witnessed. The sacred space decorated with the most beautiful of trees, flowers and religious items is just amazing.
If you notice high above the altar upwards towards the ceiling, a notch, following with straight architectural lines of the building, there is yet another space for liturgical decoration. You see the yellow fabric behind the very large cross that hangs behind and above the altar. At the uppermost area of the sanctuary is the highest point of access in the sacred space.
During Advent and the Christmas season, you will see Christmas trees there, high above the altar, as they are also decorated aside the altar proper on the ground level. As you must ponder, with the wide open spaces here in the main sanctuary the eyes are drawn to multiple locations in the sanctuary, as there is much to see. It is a veritable feast for the eyes on any given Sunday.
As the ceiling is formed in wood in circular patterns the cement architecture is in round forms as it encircles the whole of the uppermost sanctuary ceiling. As one looks up at the spectacle of the most beautiful wood form, during the Christmas holidays, you might find an angel hanging over the sacred space, trumpet in hand, announcing the coming of the Christ child. She is a most beautiful angel.
The cross that you see hanging above the altar once stood on the altar during lent. There were years when the passion play was performed on Good Friday, and one of our members, we used to say, “he looked like Jesus,” would play his part. And one would swear that with the lighting technology and the meaning of the mass, that he was actually crucified on that very cross. I remember sitting in my pew weeping for Jesus on that most Holy of days.
The architecture of the sacred space, the interplay of light and shadow and the music of the season and the additional choirs and congregants inside the space made worshiping God and the celebration of the Eucharist an amazing weekly mass event. There has never been another Catholic Church, that I have ever seen built nor operated as this unique church has for so many decades.
To the right of the altar space is the lectern for the cantor or music minister and farther to the right you will see the seating area for the elderly and the handicapped. They are situated right close to the altar which is very important to those who come to hear the word and celebrate in the Eucharist. There is also a cry room, which is located to the upper far left of the frame. There is an old anecdote of the Rev Fr. Fetscher.
On any given Sunday, the good father would be preaching, as he walked around the sanctuary, a child would begin to wail, as the acoustics of the room lends to the reverberation of sound throughout the domed wooden structure, like a divining rod, the good father’s hand would rise as he continued to speak to the congregation, until he zeroed in to the exact location of the wailing child, as the parents attempted to quiet them or move as quickly as possible to the cry room, or out of the church completely, so as not to interrupt the train of the good father’s thought on the topic he was preaching on at the moment.
What is lacking in this new architecture is the lack of ‘old church’ visuals. The absence of statues, a tabernacle and candles as we would see in any given sanctuary in Montreal, in the Gothic and cathedral style church in this historical city of faith. The tabernacle was located in the chapel, then as I see in the photographs to follow, it must have been relocated into the Blessed Sacrament Chapel located in another area of the building.
You will see candles in use during mass and also during Advent. But there are no standing candles in open space within the sanctuary. Fire and soot from candles burning does not lend to the wood building of the sanctuary and the clean lines of the white washed walls.
I have served on this altar as an altar boy, a seminarian, lector and Eucharistic minister. It is a most beautiful vision to stand upon the altar and look out at the massive community of worshipers there to celebrate Holy Eucharist.
The Chapel of St. Louis Catholic Church. These are the stained glass windows that bank the rear wall of the chapel and looks out to the parking lot and new covenant school. Each of the windows has origins in biblical scripture. I want to say that, if memory serves, but don’t quote me on this, but these are images from the book of Revelation.
Somewhere in my mind is a memory of this being mentioned to me at some point of time. In the chapel is where morning masses are held along with the recitation of the Holy Rosary. Funerals are also held in the space, there have been musical accompaniment in this space. This is the space where we buried my paternal grandparents, when Roger and Paul were still music ministers at the Church.
This is the Sacred Space altar and lectern in the chapel. This chapel is also situated in ‘the round.’ the theme of circular space is repeated in all the main buildings in this specific building housing the main sanctuary, chapel and sacristy. There is a logical progression of ever changing architecture on the site moving from the primary sanctuary location which housed religious education, to this sanctuary space which is themed in the circular domed spaces.
As I look at this photo, observing the interplay of light and shadow, you have three elements. The light above the crucifix, the shadow on the walls to either side, and the light that streams in the windows in front of the altar space looking on. With circular space and the accent of internal lighting and the addition of natural light in the chapel and in the hallways of the building, the ‘drama of the spaces’ is made even deeper.
Different from the box – cathedral type church spaces we have here in Montreal, streaming light travels in one direction and towards the floor in our churches. With more rounded buildings such as these, light bends across, down and around the spaces, which brings movement and action to a quiet and sedate space. You do not see modern ‘churches in the round’ in a city steeped in architectural history.
As on kneels before Christ on the cross – you can imagine that – He is there, in the flesh, as you look upon his face, more than once, I imagine in my minds eye, that he is there alive, and beckons us to see Him in his most powerful state, that liminal space between life and death, where we are called to pray and believe that He will rise again on the third day. The crucifix sculpture is one of the most striking images of Christ I have ever seen.
The tabernacle was once located behind the altar beneath the most beautiful crucifix I have ever seen. This most lifelike representation of Christ on the Cross is amazingly detailed in size and scope. To the left of the crucifix is a painting of the Blessed Mother and child. In this sacred space you will find more conventional ‘church’ representations of religious artifacts. It is a most beautiful room to sit and pray, by ones self and ‘in community.’
When I was seeing Fr. Jeff for spiritual direction, some years ago, I would meet the daily group of people who attended the morning mass and we would recite the scriptural rosary every morning. It was an amazing way to star ones day, as the sun rose out of the east, the light would filter in the stained glass windows and illuminate the chapel, those seated in the chapel and as the light changed and light and shadow played off each other to lend such dramatic mood to the sacred space.
So this concludes a tour of my home parish of St. Louis Catholic Church in Miami Florida. I will be adding some more spiritual stories from this place to my ‘pages’ in the coming weeks as I compile my spiritual stories for my next publishing project.
What to do next???
Yesterday was sweet. Now since I have no classes to attend I can catch up on my sleeping and not have to get up in the morning, since I an a nocturnal creature. I’d rather sleep during the day and have the night free to do whatever I pleased.
I went to have coffee with Ms. Nikki and we had fun. As always. I brought my diploma to show the rest of the group at the meeting and we had a little party before the meeting to celebrate. I got some really kool gifts. Ms. Nikki bought me a few boxes of Laura Secord Chocolates which are the best chocolates in Quebec. Their chocolate covered cherries are to die for!
She also gave us gift certificates for Provigo, our local grocer, seeing that the government had screwed us out of much needed financial assistance, which we have learned this week will be reinstated over the next calendar year. We set off on this huge odyssey with the government and even got a letter from the Minister of Education in Quebec City only to find out that the person who had the power to change this situation was at the institutional level. People in high places who choose to do nothing until they are backed up against the wall SUCK!
She also gave us two booklets of movie gift certificates which were very timely and appreciated. My in laws sent a nice card and some cash which we used to buy groceries. All in all, those people I counted on for support rose the the challenge and stood by me even if the institution and her students did not. Thank God that I don’t have to bother with any of them in the coming year. Good riddance.
It rained last night, and today the sky is blue the temperature is 23c which is cool and comfy and there is a breeze blowing which has cooled off the city quite nicely. There is rain in the forecast for the coming days. We watched a Thunder and Lightening storm cross the south shore yesterday afternoon but it did not rain on the city at all until late last night.
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DiverseCite
Montreal Pride Information can be found
at this link
DiverseCite
I know that many people will be going to Toronto this week to celebrate Pride – they have set out an ambitious advertising campaign on television. Most of our Toronto affiliated stations here and as well on Montreal channels are running the TO Pride ads around the clock. We have commitments here through the next week, and getting to Toronto is pricey since we don’t drive and finding a place to stay at this stage of the game would be futile. I hope that they have a wonderful week, I’m sure you will find plenty of writers talking about it over on many of my Canadian Gay Blogs over on the sidebar —> over there.
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Woo Hoo!!
Neil Haskell
Kameron Bink
Pavel Pkovalev
And let’s make honorable mention of a very popular dancer cut last week, Sad, Ricky isn’t going on this week, because he was so talented and not to mention he was a cutey!!
Ricky Palomino
Last night friends of mine called from Texas and we laughed and giggled about boys and men, Beverly you are a strong and faithful woman. Like I said, what people think of us is none of our business. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. The divorce is final and the papers are signed and you can move on with your life. Now it is time to put those new sheets to good use. Ooops did I say that!!!
It is good to have the Kahuna in North America proper. I am hoping to make a pilgrimage to Texas in the month of August after all of my boys are situated in their new digs and by then the Kahuna should have a place for me to stay, or I can crash on Beverly’s sofa! So Sam and I can have some fun ‘gaming’ and playing frisbee golf! I’ve never played frisbee golf before.
This is for Michael and Tom: Karl is in Houston and he got there yesterday and he is with the family now at their home in Katy! So he made it across country safe and sound. I am supposed to call and check on him tonight. Now all I need is for Jon to make his move to San Antonio and we will all be set.
The great thing about having the Kahuna around is that if you cannot go to church because people are nosy and judgmental and opinionated, well like I said, we can give the Kahuna a lectionary and you can have church in the backyard, since he is an ordained minister!!
I can’t wait to have church at home when I get there. The two preachers and the woman with the scarlet letter on her dress and the other groupies from the lot. YAY!!
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Today is a quiet day. Hubby had some things to do today and now he is seeing his doctor and he should be home shortly. We went grocery shopping and cleared $100.00 in foodstuffs in less than 30 minutes! We love grocery shopping. But I must admit the price of food has risen considerably here in Montreal over the last few weeks. Meats have more than doubled in price, and milk went up as well. They warned us that the fresh fruit shipments would go up this summer and they weren’t kidding. I bought a bunch of grapes which cost me almost $6.00! Strawberries are running between $5 and $6 a quart. We had a run on raspberries last week – they were 3 pints for $5.00 which was sweet.
Have you noticed that the price of cereal has risen to insane levels? Since we have these certificates we splurged of foods that we would not necessarily buy because they are just too expensive. So a box of mini, mini, mini, mini wheats was $7.00!!! Ice Cream is running between $5.00 and $7.00 a carton. It’s just insane the prices they are charging for food these days. We usually stick to staples and flyer sales each week to do our shopping. We buy in bulk when there is a sale – but for the most part we don’t pack the cupboards when prices are running too high. So what did $100.00 but? Dinners for a week, lunches for a week, a few odds and ends, some cleaning and health a beauty supplies, and some veggies and fresh fruit.
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Moving Day is July 1st!!!
Here in Quebec we have a yearly tradition. It is called Moving Day. This day falls on July first, since most leases run June to June of any calendar year. Early in January and February landlords send out rent renewals and then follows the annual rent increase that happens here in Quebec. This is when landlords get to rake us over the coals by raising rents to insane amounts and we tenants fight with the Rental board and landlords to negotiate a more manageable settlement on the next years rent. We are still paying less than $700.00 for a one bedroom apartment. In Quebec speak, I think that qualifies as a 2 1/2. I can never get that straight. I wouldn’t move from here because we have a 17th story view West over the city into Westmount and we can see 35 miles on a clear day from our windows and balcony.
So Moving Day, I digress…
This is the time (now) that people are looking for new places to live. It is a far gone conclusion that in the next 2 weeks we will start seeing furniture being thrown out on the sidewalks and massive garbage heaps all over the place as landlords clean out left over furniture and tenant stuffs. It is worse in other areas of the city where mounds of furniture litter sidewalks and alleyways.
AH! The good thing this year is that recently the mayor passed new city legislation giving his authorities to write tickets for littering and they have teams going out to explore alleyways and sidewalks around businesses to try and clean up our streets because after last winter there was SO MUCH TRASH under neath melting snow that Montreal got a Very Dirty Report from visitors and residents of the city.
So the idiots of the city who do not renew their leases nor continue at their present locations are running around the city like mad people trying to find new lodgings. We get a rash of abandoned pets on the streets, the influx of garbage and furniture piles and dirty streets. People are so adamant about moving here in Montreal that they creates such drama for themselves by moving YEARLY!! Which is just insane to us. It is very simple;
DON’T MOVE
STAY WHERE YOU ARE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!
All this drama gives us all a great big headache. The shelters are opening en masse to accommodate people who become homeless, you can’t bring pets to shelters so they get abandoned on the streets. Kennels are packed collecting those abandoned animals, and the move crisis will get worse as July 1st looms near. It is very INSANE! For weeks coming the news here will be reporting on the statistics on homeless tenants, the rental board will be up in arm, landlords will be gouging new tenants. All those new tenant rules will come into affect now that they are turning over vacated properties and fixing up new ones. It is just a serious travesty of monumental proportions.
Landlords in Montreal have no scruples. They are belligerent, rude and obnoxious. They only think of themselves and their families and fuck that so many people are going to soon become homeless that rents will not be negotiated as they are not every year. All the city landlords will be hiking rents astronomically so that middle class folk will never be able to afford those hiked rents and they will be forced to move off island and into the burbs to find housing. It is really sad. If you don’t have to move THEN DON’T!! Save yourself and us a lot of insanity and sleepless nights. It is all about the Almighty Dollar where rents are concerned.
Add to that the hike in Hydro billing, the merging of telecommunications giants here, Rogers and Sprint and the massive amounts of cell phone charges. Everyone is playing catch up on their bills especially HYDRO Quebec, because of the massive charges that we accrue yearly during the Winter for heating – they cannot turn off heating or electricity during the Winter for nonpayment. It is a law here, so now we are all playing the “pay the bill off now game.” Then Hydro will calculate the increase and modify our billing agreements and our payment plans for the next calendar year. UGH! Lord, give us strength. We are all pressured to pay off past balanced before the end of the Summer because it won’t be long after that that we start using heating into the Fall.
This has become quite a missive on Montreal, hasn’t it! I did not mention that there are new build apartment buildings that have gone up all over the downtown core. I’ve seen some of their pricing sheets and I must say that the rents in these snooty tooty buildings are astronomical. But I am sure they won’t have any problems filling those empty units. A tall building in the middle of the downtown core looking in any direction are classy digs. The higher up you are in the quarter the more beautiful the view. Especially in the Winter.
Well, I think I’ve written enough for now. So I am off to contemplate my navel and take a power nap, until later my babies… ta ta…
A few homo thoughts:
If you are drinking and driving, drive another fags car, because you might hit a bump and spill your drink!
Remember to wash your fruit before you eat it…
Pride V1.5
I wanted to say that I agree that “we” are killing our own, in our own communities. The focus of Gay Pride has moved from a “Pride” event to an obnoxious event of pretty buff men who do designer drugs and drink massive amounts of alcohol and try to “Out Queen” the next. The competition for beauty, wealth and attraction has overshadowed the real reason that we celebrate Pride, at least in my opinion having lived with AIDS/HIV for now 13 years. Things were very different a decade ago. My views on Petty, Pretty and Petulant comes from early observations here in Montreal. My visits to TO have all been good. I mean my Montrealer friends go to TO for Pride – they totally ignore Pride here in the city, because it has become somewhat of a joke.
Men who wear leather here think of leather as a fashion accessory not many leather men I know here have any real concept of what it means to me or to the Leather Community at large, but there are some exceptions. Leather here is not the same context as Leather in other cities. My experience of Leather is specific to a time and a location. Leather men here do not like me because they say I am opinionated and rude to the community. Everybody has opinions.
I saw a report on CTV News Net this evening that Toronto is spending upwards of $400,000.00 CAD on advertising for Gay Pride Nationally and Internationally.
Montreal, on the other hand, has nothing on the table as far as I know. Since funding has been cut Provincially. Our Gay Pride has been cut down, moved back on the calendar and it seems very muted from years past. Pride is changing in our fair city. But our Gay Pride is so fractured that I won’t be attending this year once again, because I don’t identify with the Pretty, Petulant, Obnoxious Gay Community. I just can’t be bothered to celebrate Community Pride when the community at large has offered nothing but division and political strife (in our immediate community).
I guess with age came wisdom and living with HIV/AIDS for so long, knowing what Pride meant to me and my community when AIDS and Death was staring us in the face, the celebration of family, friendship and community meant more to us then, because we knew many of us would not live to see it the following year, all that has changed.
The respectful “Pride for Life” has turned to a Pride of materialism and addiction, of division and hatred amid our own ranks, and the disrespect of those who are living with illness (HIV/AIDS) by those who are not is outrageous. That is why I do not celebrate Pride because the community that once was, is no more, and since I am clean and sober and my focus on life has changed since I got married a few years ago, being a Queen for a day doesn’t matter as much to me anymore, because there are far better things for me to spend my time doing, like writing, education, support and living each day for all it is worth.
So I am posting a piece of the article I wrote for Best Gay Blogs today and it is also posted on my blog as well, you can come read the rest of this post. I saw a discussion about PRIDE in the future, “Will we have Pride in 20 years?” I agree that the further gay makes it into the everyday lexicon of acceptance, we will begin to assimilate into community and the need to differentiate ourselves will become pointless.
I am a great supporter of the labeling of sexuality and life to end. Over the last 40 years I have watched what labels do to people across the board.
Nowadays when I work with young people “coming out” I tell them to go out into the world and not worry about differentiation and labels. Find a place to live, a good job and someone to love who will love you in return. And disclose only what you need to – to those who need to know.
How much easier life would be if the world was not so caught up in divisive labels – if we learned to live together in harmony, religiously, sexually orientedly, racially, and personally and politically. There is so much division in the world, that I sometimes wish that the LGBTQ people in the world would begin to change the world in ways that regular people could not.
We have seen so much hatred that couldn’t we at least begin to work to build communally and earthly, instead of worrying about differentiating ourselves from the whole of humanity? I mean, what if Pride became a unifying festival instead of a divisive one – we see this division happening worldwide in cities that LGBTQ Pride events are causing such problems.
If we were proud and knowledgeable you’d think that in today’s day and age, we would find a way to build bridges in communities instead of creating brush fires all over the world. So here are some of my thoughts on Pride as they came to me the other day…
Why is Faith so weak – Ending the War in Iraq…
Speaking on the subject of Deitrich Bonhoeffer…
A discussion was entertained in class about faith in action, as a model of discussion after viewing a film on Bonhoeffer and his thoughts on church and discipleship.
“Cheap grace is grace without the Cross of Christ, Costly grace is earned through the Gospel. Nothing can be cheap that is costly bought.”
What is the Word of God? Answer: What is it we are called to do? Ethics are an act of faith. The old ideas of ethics are out the window as times have changed. Sometimes we must compromise our understanding of ethics to do the right thing. The purpose of ethics is to change the world for the better. Nothing in the scriptures of Christ compels one to destroy the world.
So one of my classmates asked “Why is faith so weak?” My answer to that question was this. In today’s fast paced – got to have it now – the quick fix path please – how many men and women of faith are actually going to invest ample time, talent and treasure to the works of strong and active faith? There is no economic win fall in active faith. There is no economic payout for the work of active strong faith. And if there’s no win in it for me – then why bother.
NOT MANY would invest in Strong Active faith.
Another classmate speaks up and says – the Evangelicals have money and they have active faith. Yes, they go to church, they get their literal judgment and they give A LOT of money to political parties to get them elected and maybe some will sponsor a child in a third world country or better yet, they might do something small “in town.”
YOU WANT TO END THE WAR IN IRAQ…
The Evangelicals and the Fundamentalists will pray and pay and elect their chosen ones to office AND then they send their children to Iraq to fight the war for George W. Bush. Because George W. Bush is a faithful Christian Man who knows best, RIGHT!!!
I PROPOSE that we ENLIST every Evangelical and Fundamental Christian MAN in the United States (EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM) and we send THEM along with their children to fight in Iraq.
Sure as Shit this war would end – and very quickly.
We could clear out the Red States of all of their men and when they start dying by the thousands you know their wives and daughters will STOP this WAR outright…
You want to see Strong Active Faith, Send all the men who voted for Bush INTO harms way and see how long the killing lasts!!!
Ethics… Do you think Bush thinks about Ethics as he sends our young people to die, do you think he thinks about ethics in killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians and occupies their country? Does this war sound a little Hitlerian to you???
The only reason Hitler succeeded in doing what he did was because people listened to him. Even today the people of Great Britain and the United States are listening to a Mad Man. We are killing generations of people and we are killing our own in this needless war. So there is massive killing on both sides. Is this Ethical, I ask you!!!
And Hitler was found in a ditch, covered in Petrol… burned to death…
The Last King of Scotland
I sat down to watch The Last King of Scotland. I don’t have a really good understanding of what Idi Amin’s life or the sadistic ways about him going into this film, but I have to say that Forest Whitaker’s portrayal made me physically ill. His win for best actor at this years Oscars was well earned. His portrayal of an emotionally bipolar man did me in emotionally.
I guess the reason for this reaction was that I rode the film through the character of Doctor Nicholas Garrigan (James McAvoy). I think that Nicolas carried a great deal of this film. His character had to find his way around the huge Idi Amin. At times even I questioned Idi’s treatment of his “closest adviser” I mean he played with him like a rag doll. He likes him and he doesn’t. He’s angry at him and he is rewarding him with cars and a job unlike the one he went to Africa to do.
I could not imagine the kind of horror this man must have seen in real life, if this film is any indication of it, Jesus F’ing Christ! What an emotional roller coaster this film is. Nicholas was ripped apart in this film, emotionally and mentally, and in the end he was strung up like ‘Fakir’ with meat hooks in his chest, as the man who once idolized his closest adviser was now strung up in an airport liquor store.
Thank God someone took pity on him and saved him. My heart was pounding in my chest as he got on that plane. Holy Jesus Christ… The film was great. The cinematography and the beauty of the film was wonderful. Forest won that award right out. There was no competition in the Best Actor category. In the end, I had a headache and I felt sick, watching him torture Nicholas.
The Camille Levesque Centre
A snapshot of what was added to my Mission Statement above…
All I need is some serious investors that want to help me build it. If you know anyone with a cool few million dollars to spare, let me know.
**Updated May 9, 2007**
We Now Have a floor plan drawn out for designers and real estate companies. It is quite incredible. I sat down and sketched out what my vision of the location will look like. I know what colors will be incorporated and I am thinking of getting some of our “urban artists” to paint murals on some of the interior walls. Oh, this is going to get exciting.
Imagine the following: We call this the Camille Levesque Centre.
I find myself drawing out floor plans, decorating the space in wondrous colors and comforts of home. On one floor a dedicated space to a “Club Room.” A club room for recovering people that opens at 7 a.m. and stays open until midnight. Manned and staffed with a kitchen, coffee bar, facilities and comfy sofas, tables and chairs.
Where we would host meetings all day into the night (Imagine a dedicated meeting space in the same location every day, throughout the day). This DOES NOT exist in Montreal, but it does in Miami and is a very big draw to recovering people.
Imagine that there are offices to be housed by facilitators and recovery advisers. My office, open to anyone for spiritual direction or counseling. We would have outreach for kids in distress, for Pop’s kids to come and rest. We’d have an open kitchen to feed people who needed it. We’d have dedicated space for child care for parents who need to come to a meeting and need to keep their children and young people occupied for an hour or so.
We would offer HIV counseling. LGBTQ support for young people and adults. We would have a gathering place to have meetings and support for these very important groups. having personal experience in these areas gives me insight to what I know is important, and to build a space that I would want to visit. There are so many areas we could hit all at once in one comprehensive location.
Does this exist in Montreal? No it does not. But we can build it…
With all the recovery experience I have had since 1994, I have seen countless “recovery rooms, spaces, rehabs and such and so forth.” We would combine the best concepts in our location that I have visited and been part of over the last 14 years. In one area of the building we would have a dedicated chapel for prayers.
This is such an amazing concept and brings with it such promise.
I have floated these ideas to my home group participants and they all think that this is a wonderful idea that should be realized. This is more than ‘church’ this is Home. A place that I could build and coordinate and build into a community home that would rival any spiritual/recovery center in the city. I have people already lined up, who would work for me where ever I set up shop. I have people who would utilize the space immediately, upon opening. The desire exists in our community, all it would take is someone to build it and I want to be that someone.
We would have a youth center where we would offer bible study and religious education and counseling services to the community. Young people could come and be fed spiritually in safety and serenity. Just imagine the possibilities…
Those are my ideas today…
I’m tired, it’s been a long day…
More tomorrow.
Come on, folks, let’s build this dream center. It will change the face of Montreal in ways we could never imagine. I know how to do it, I have the inspiration to create this and the desire to see it to fruition.
Youth Ministry…
One solid foundation of any young persons life, is that of Youth Ministry. It was the one place where kids from different backgrounds, lives, and ages came together once a week to sing, to congregate and to celebrate what it means to be a young person and a Christian. For many of my friends at that time, broken homes was something of a phenomenon. Everyone I knew during those days had parents either coming to, deep within, or on the outs ‘of’ divorce. I was stuck somewhere in the mix of ‘they have no clue what to do!’ They will either kill each other or they will end up in separate ends of the house until the end of time. But I digress…
We had fearless leaders, who took us on journeys of personal growth and discovery. We were taught the ABC’s of Christianity, and back then, when I was a teenager, disclosure of ones ‘following of Jesus’ was damn near impossible to maintain, because you know those ‘Jesus Freaks!’ I look back on that time in my life and it pains me to think about it. How hard it was for Christianity (the being born again in Christ) life was so foreign to kids of the 80′s who were all about rebellion and Satan and all things ‘profane!’
Yes, even at the high school I attended we had our cliques of people. The preppy boys and girls, the jocks and the sporto’s, the sinners and the titty girls. We had our local 214 dead heads who smoked pot in the parking lot. The geeks who gathered in the science labs, and we also had our share of ‘Satanists.’ This was serious business. These guys were not fooling around with the dark arts, they ‘were’ the dark arts incarnate.
They at one time had such fear running throughout the school that teachers were afraid of them, one case in point, I had an amazing Algebra teacher who just had a new child, and these kids threatened to kill that child and the teacher. This was no simple kids threat. Needless to say they posed quite a conundrum to the ‘new Christians coming up through the ranks.’ They haunted and shadowed us like demons where very we gathered to pray and read our bibles. I took a bible study class in a high school setting in my junior year of high school. And I am rambling…
I’m headed for the ‘Born Again’ theme.
After these past years in the pursuit of sobriety and then the years spent acquiring a four year degree in the study of religion, I have some hindsight to a specific period of my life and I can look at my youth as a ‘burgeoning’ young Christian boy, I can appreciate what it must have been like for the first Christians to identify themselves on a wide scale within a society and community of ‘others.’
They took us away to Camp Get Away for weekend sojourns with our friends, peer leaders and leaders. Trusted servants to the church community, who took time out of their busy lives to feed us spiritually. They ask me, if there was one time you could return to, as it was, to relive once again, (like the diet Pepsi commercials) it would be to my years during high school, because it was so hard, and so difficult, but at the same time so sacred and the most incredibly amazing time of my life.
The program followed you through your first year in the youth group where we were the newbies on the block. Each year a new crop of kids were brought to Christ through a finely orchestrated plan of action that was the Youth Ministry of my home parish. That was 10th grade, the same year I was confirmed into the Catholic Church.
I remember the night – that first night, after a four hour bus ride far away from the lights of the big bright city, we got to the camp, lit by candle light. It was the most incredible time of my life. On that weekend we were broken and brought to the Master through talk, testimony and service. We learned what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus, that meant something particular at that time, seeing that so many of us were living in homes that did not bode well for the fostering of Christian youth trying to follow the message and teaching of Jesus.
Can you imagine what it is like to come home from a weekend at Camp Get Away – bible in hand, profession of faith on your lips, and a testimony before two thousand people sitting in the church upon our return to hear a parent say “Jesus Christ, what have they done to you?” Imagine how hard it was to maintain Christian values when your parents constantly fight, your father constantly up your ass with his hatred, bigotry and racism and disdain for all things noble and Christian and Holy!!
Not to mention the life you were re-entering back in school on Monday morning, when you tell your friends that you met Jesus over the weekend and wasn’t it swell!! As they roll their eyes and walk away in disbelief, you try your might to stick with your friends that went to school with you – that just came off the mountain, with that glow of Jesus still alive on our faces and in our hearts.
The finding Jesus on the Mountain experience was the most incredible point in my young life. Short lived as it was, I had the youth ministry to help me along the way. A haven of sorts that I, we, could go to and hang out on any given night – all night in some cases. We used to find ourselves sitting on the hoods of our cars in the parking lot of the church until all hours of the night talking about life, safe within the property of Mother Church. The chapel was open all night long, the blessed sacrament always there to give us strength.
Not long after our first ‘Mountain Experience’ we were invited to return to that mountain to get another glimpse of the Holy of Holies, through the veil of the Holy Spirit. We packed hundreds of kids on 5 mega size buses and made the trip to Camp Get Away again. The second time up the mountain was so much sweeter because we knew where that ‘mountain’ was now. We learned about being ‘baptized in the spirit’ and we were all there in that ‘Upper Room’ waiting for that Pentecost to come for us too. The Spirit would be called down upon us and we would see and know for sure the Love of Jesus once again.
The second time coming ‘down the mountain’ was not as painful as the first time, because we now knew what to do to maintain that ‘mountain top’ feeling when we got home. We had begun to build that community of faithful kids that knew where to find each other at any time of day or night. We created safe places for each other. I spent A LOT of time in other people’s houses and bedrooms during those years of my life, because my father went through a very ruthless period in his life. I knew too much and he had to stomp me every chance that he got. God bless him…
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path…
There happened to be one particular portion that made this journey into Christianity a little softer. That was the dawn of Contemporary Christian Music. Singers like Amy Grant, (whom I am listening to at this very moment on my pod), The Imperials, and groups like Petra and many others. Contemporary Christian music was the soundtrack to our lives back then. We had a DJ that carted hundreds of ‘records’ (yes we had records back then) with his stereo and turntables to Camp Get Away and he would serenade us with Holy music that was uplifting and sometimes painful.
Much of the life of a young Christian boy or girl was shaped by the music that was the backdrop to any retreat. Even today, if I hear a particular song, (I collect Contemporary Christian Music from the 80′s) I will be transported directly to a specific point in time – I can see it, feel it and can describe in fine detail exactly who I was with, what was going on and why that piece of music impacted me so deeply.
Where do you hide your heart???
The entrance to any meal was met with – Come on in the Waters Fine, Leave on shore your troubled mind…
Amy Grant was one of those artists that was coming up the pike when I was a teenager.
My Father’s Eyes, was one of the first albums we all had to have because she was the singer that led us into our Christian lives. We used to sit at each others houses just listening to her sing, because that music was played during Camp Get Away weekends, and music had instantaneous capabilities of transporting you right back up the mountain, as if we were standing there right now.
Sing your praise to the Lord …
One of the duties that I wish I had the ability to do today – would be to take young people up that mountain to find Jesus – like I found him so long ago, because today I can share a complete journey of coming into my own ‘Christianity.’ That journey started over 25 years ago. What a journey it has been – what a life it has been – and Jesus is as alive today for me as He was then.
I have come full circle now. That first introduction to Jesus in that church as a child, by my grandmother on the sanctified day and hour, grew to a high school boys meeting Him once again as a teen ager, and now as an older adult I understand what Christianity means to me as the man I am today in the words I teach my fellows who stand on the path with me.
In a Little While – We’ll be with the Father Can’t you see him smile…
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I have decided,
I’m gonna live like a believer,
Turn my back on the deceiver,
I’m gonna live what I believe…
More tomorrow… maybe
Here comes the Sun…
NASA’s 2-D Visual of the sun…
NASA’s 2-D visuals of Active areas on the Sun
Another active sun image in 2-D
Courtesy: NASA Mission – Image Pages, Stereo Images of the Sun
Snow in April…
I forgot to mention that when I left the doctors office and walked out of the hospital it was
SNOWING !!!
A day of Reflection…Part Deux…
Some People should not comment at all. Because some of you haven’t followed this story since the beginning 4 years ago. This is not a misogynistic writing but the truth. I dislike this lesbian because she has issues with me and other students. So thanks for the comments I am just not going to publish all of them. Don’t comment unless you know the background of my writing. (Jeremy).
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As I ponder the first episode of what I wrote I want to write more. To explore the emotions of being a part of, to be heard, to be seen and to listen, most of all. The meditation began with a ball of yarn. The first person shared what they remembered and passed the ball of yarn to the next person in the circle.
I was third in line. I remember the night I got the email announcement from Father Ray. I was sitting right where I am sitting now, and I read it – I was shocked with the finality of it, the fact that I had not seen her in a few days. And I shared with the group my first years of being a student. How sister made me feel at ease, and welcomed. She made each of us fell as if God was right there that we were safe and sound. Sister had a huge heart of unconditional love. She saw no differences in us, as humans yet each of us were unique unto God. That our feelings and emotions mattered to God and to her as a spiritual mentor of faith.
And as students in the department of religion, there are many of different faiths, and that was ok too. God listened to us and heard us, no matter the creed we professed. inside her office there was safety and serenity. Pray she would tell us, in whatever words we needed to use.
Unconditional was important. There was no ego nor stature, no God to impress with lofty words or ego driven existence. Sister had no ego, just faith and that is what she taught each and every one of us. She did not feel that BIG-ness was important. She was a small but compact servant of God. She loved us for whatever person we were. She did not cop attitude nor treat anyone any differently and that was important. God was God and would be God unto the end of time. She made us feel that she cared for each and every one of us.
And in fact several people shared on several parallel claims, she will not be replaced and there will never be another like her in the Chaplaincy department and that is a great loss to the students of the university, because there is no one left, to share faith unabashedly with students. Our Catholic priest who comes to us now, is new to the fold, and he has much ground to cover, yet he is willing to share of himself freely and openly whenever he can. Yet the position held by sister Micky will never be filled as she filled it when she was alive.
And for me, that was my greatest worry. What will those young people do without sound and saintly God advice, faith without parameters, love without conditions? None of the other chaplains will touch a student with faith questions, because they don’t have the capacity to sit with a student and hear them out completely and who can offer faith based counsel without an ego, attitude or pomposity. That is where the chaplaincy now stands, at a door – a crossroads – a fork in the road.
Many students now must seek counsel within its ranks. We, the elders of the group must stand ready to do the work we are now called to do. Nobody trusts anyone else with their souls, their hearts or their issues. This is a fact that was related to me after the day had ended. “People are fakes, they don’t have patience nor understanding. There are too many attitudes involved. Time as a precious commodity would be wasted on people who do not give a shit about the students, but they can abuse their positions in order to protect their well placed and built facades. Sad but true.
We are called to Love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We are to Love God, with all our heart, all our strengths and with all of our hopes. Sad, that there is no one left in chaplaincy who can do that without impunity. We are powerless to change administration, nor positions currently held by certain chaplains. But we can speak with one unanimous voice and say, we will not go quietly. Our group will persevere, we will go on, and we will care for each other because we must, lest our band of faithful Christians be put out on the street and I will not let that happen.
There is more to God than Patriarchy, There is more to God than institution. Many of our young people have been burned by both. Most of our followers are women. Very big hearted women who buck the system and question authority. This is a volatile mix for the director of chaplaincy, she being a woman, a lesbian of the highest degree. She has no patience for many of us. She has denied us our place at the table, she is arrogant and she doesn’t see that her “fuck you” attitude has been noticed and reported. That does not bode well, although she would never admit to that. Once again, today she verbally and actively spoke the words to all of us in attendance. We noticed too…
We should pray for wisdom – we should pray for grace. We should pray for those young people who, in the coming months will make a place for themselves at the table of faith. I will do what I can, because I was present and I listened to each of them, and I told them that the first thought that came to my mind, on the night the news came was, “what about them?” What will they do? I know the answer to that today. We can do anything we set our minds to doing.
I’m not a misogynist, just a gay man with good observations skills…
Come, let us be on our way…
Step 3 – The Third Step Prayer before bed…
At Step Three, many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him:
“God I offer myself to Thee – To build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties, that my transcendence over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always!”
We thought before taking this Step, making sure we were ready. Then we could commence to abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
As Bill Sees It, pg. 210
