Sunday Sundries …
Courtesy: NiqBailey
The last hurrah of the summer is quickly coming to an end. The big blow out Labor Day Weekend. This is your final weekend to wear white. We are a little over a month away from Thanksgiving here in Canada. Thanksgiving falls on October 8th and it will be the first BIG holiday meal of the year.
I’ve been tooling around with new header images for fall, and I’ve found one I like so that will be going live in a few days. I’ve also lined up a tentative winter header as well. I’ve been farming images in for my collection here for the blog.
It has been a little cooler these days – in the sun it is quite warm, but as soon as the sun goes down the temps drop off. It has been in the low teens at night for almost a week. Hopefully we will see Fall temperatures coming soon.
I have all my toques ready to go. The next few months are my favorite time of year. The cooling at night, the trees beginning to turn and the falling leaves. Westmount is filled with Big Huge Trees that all turn with the seasons. And we have a view of the mountain from here at home.
Enough of all this seasonal banter … until it all happens …
Another Sunday brings us to another Sunday meeting and boy was it ever packed tonight. I arrived at the church around 5 and the set up person was there alone, so I set up the meeting while she made coffee. I set out two stacks of chairs as usual, but as it happened, a whole crowd of people showed up just in time at 6:15.
We read another story from Experience, Strength and Hope. A story called The Prisoner Freed. It was a telling of a story about what can happen when you become a blackout drinker and the consequences of our actions.
Our man drinks and ends up committing murder and ends up in prison where he gets a life sentence and is introduced to the program to which he scoffs and turns away. But as the story goes, he comes and then comes to believe after a couple of second kicks at the proverbial drinking can, he finally gets sober on the outside.
“It’s no bed of roses, but somehow or other I’ve been able to make it, through the kindness of people in AA. If something does come along that sort of upsets me, instead of walking in and throwing a buck at the barman and asking for a drink, I walk into a telephone booth, drop a dime in the box, and call someone who was so kind as to give me his name and telephone number to meet such an emergency.”
Recent events have come to pass for some people I know and I have sat back and watched someone drink, copious amounts of liquor and do stupid things. And just recently one of these friends, hit his first major “jackpot” in a blackout.
He recognized that he has a problem, but has ignored my attempts to try and help him, I think he thinks that if he just stops drinking that will solve his problems and save his relationship. You can’t get sober by yourself, because eventually things may change and get worse.
I usually make it a rule not to enable someones drinking and I usually don’t have a stomach to either read or watch someone self destruct. With that I have disengaged a number of friends over the years because all they talk about is the bar and alcohol. I just can’t sit and partake that kind of shit.
I hope my friend doesn’t find him on the loosing end of the battle with King Alcohol. But I am not going to watch him do himself in.
We have all been there. And have the physical and emotional scars to prove it. But if you don’t want our help, then God go with you. We still still be here when you come around.
That’s all for tonight.
More to come, stay tuned …
Matthew Vines … The Gay Debate – The Bible and Homosexuality
Look ^^^ up there …
A new PAGE has been added to the blog. It is a presentation by Matthew Vines on the Bible and Homosexuality. I wish I could post video on this blog, but I can’t, so you are in for a good LONG read !!!
If you click on the page and scroll down to the bottom, you can directly go to his You Tube account and watch the video, which last a little more than an hour.
It is very sad – if you go to the video and read some of the vitriolic comments that have been left on this video, the theology is sound and has been proven by researchers in the field of scripture and theology. Some people are purely ignorant and stupid. You’s think that in today’s world – people could be so vitriolic.
It is all about acceptance…
For many years I contended with one writing that was written by a Pastor who I have known for many years. But Matthew, on the other hand, has spent the better part of 2 years researching this topic and his presentation is rock solid.
But it is well worth the hour you should take to listen to a young man who Loves God and Loves Jesus and speaks from his heart about the six passages from the Bible that many Christians use to demonize and perpetuate hatred and condemnation.
He has studied Hebrew, Greek and Latin and in depth covers all the scriptures and explains the history, context and meaning of biblical history.
Take some time to participate. Show him some love,
Because in the end :
Being different is no crime. Being gay is not a sin. And for a gay person to desire and pursue love and marriage and family is no more selfish or sinful than when a straight person desires and pursues the very same things. The Song of Songs tells us that King Solomon’s wedding day was “the day his heart rejoiced.”
To deny to a small minority of people, not just a wedding day, but a lifetime of love and commitment and family is to inflict on them a devastating level of hurt and anguish. There is nothing in the Bible that indicates that Christians are called to perpetuate that kind of pain in other people’s lives rather than work to alleviate it, especially when the problem is so easy to fix. All it takes is acceptance.
The Bible is not opposed to the acceptance of gay Christians, or to the possibility of loving relationships for them. And if you are uncomfortable with the idea of two men or two women in love, if you are dead-set against that idea, then I am asking you to try to see things differently for my sake, even if it makes you uncomfortable.
I’m asking you to ask yourself this: How deeply do you care about your family? How deeply do you love your spouse? And how tenaciously would you fight for them if they were ever in danger or in harm’s way? That is how deeply you should care, and that is how tenaciously you should fight, for the very same things for my life, because they matter just as much to me.
Gay people should be a treasured part of our families and our communities, and the truly Christian response to them is acceptance, support, and love. Thank you, and thank you to everyone for coming tonight.
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/VinesMatthew
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/matthew.vines
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/VinesMatthew
Three Tones Friday …
Courtesy: Natsack
It’s Friday Friday gotta get down on Friday !!! I can’t believe I just typed that.
The week was a big success. We had a full house on Tuesday. And the rest of the week followed without a hiccup. Last night I went to class and it was all joy. The week prior we had our first essay exam. And from the remarks from the prof, out of all her classes, it seems we are high on the bell curve. Grades went from perfect exams to those who did not do so well. In my case I was pleasantly surprised to see that I aced the exam. 19.5 out of 20. It was good that all the topics on the exam, I was well versed on. Thanks to lots of Discovery programming, all those shows on familiar topics were of use.
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MUSIC
Last night I was farting around on You tube and I went to listen to some Lady Gaga and on the Vevo page was a ticker for Adele. Her new single was coming out on Vevo and so I clicked on it. Can I just tell you that if you don’t know who Adele is, you should. She is a young woman from London England. She has such a sultry, strong and unique voice. you can almost hear tones of Motown in her tones and lyrics. Her Freshman album ( 19 ) is very down beat. Not many up beat songs. But on her latest work ( 21 ), there are a number of upbeat songs.
You gotta listen to her. It is well worth the time. Some of my favorite tunes are “Rolling in the Deep,” And “Set Fire to the Rain.” There are a bunch of her videos on You Tube from acoustic performances, The Graham Norton Show in Britain and even on David Letterman in the U.S. And her great ballad “Someone Like You, is haunting. She performs this at a Brit Awards Show. Rolling in the Deep, Set Fire to the Rain and Someone like you are all on You Tube.
Fantastic …
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This week and next I am on set up for Friday West End. There are supposed to be two of us to set up but only I showed up. I left home plenty early to get around city traffic on the bus route. We unloaded the meeting supplies and I just cranked out chairs and tables. It did not take me long to get everything done. I don’t see why you need two people to do the work. Once I get started I don’t stop until I am finished. I just crank away.
Before the business meeting Dave, myself and another member sat in the kitchen while Dave made sandwiches for the meeting. We serve food after every meeting. It keeps people around for coffee, food and conversation. We also had a 13 year cake tonight as well. It was fun fun all around.
I volunteered to do set up for the next month, since it seemed nobody else wanted to do it, or was available. I need to hit my three month membership requirement before I get to do any other job at the table. There is a woman who is a member there who has bad blood for me. She comes and goes, and refuses to acknowledge me, like tonight she walked up and hugged the chairperson who was sitting right next to me and did not even pay me a hello. You can’t change some people.
The meeting was packed. The speaker was great. Another 30 year sober person in the chair tonight.After the meeting I helped put everything back where they should go and set off for home.
I made the 10:30 bus on Sherbrooke and made it to the Metro on time. And I checked through the turnstile and got to the platform and the train was just pulling into the station. And then it happened…
The Three Metro Tones of Death …
You know the tones that harken a hold/stoppage on the line. Two trains were in the station as we were sitting there on the track. And the little voice of the Metro Lady comes on in French and says ………………….. rough translation: There is a stoppage on the “orange line” in the direction of Cote Vertu (on the West End).
Another message will follow … Now you don’t know how long you are going to sit in the station. The stoppage wasn’t on our line as we were going in the other direction, towards Montmorency on the East end.
The train remained on the platform for about 10 minutes and then we started on our way. Thank god there wasn’t something bad going on up the line.
I got to Atwater around 11 o’clock. I was walking home through my usual path, through Alexis Nihon and then cross Atwater and into the Forum around the corner and out Ste Catherine’s Street exit and on towards home, up the street. While I was in the Forum I was walking by Future Shop and standing there out front was my History prof from Thursday Night. She had told us about wanting to hit the movie on a rain night, because it rained on Thursday night, but she came to teach instead. Not that it was a choice, but she enjoys movies on rainy days.
We said hello and I went on my way.
We had a nice dinner and now it’s 12:30 as I am finishing this up here.
More to come, stay tuned …
Nerd Fighters Unite …Read It First …
Click the link: Read It First, take the pledge and join us Nerd Fighters with John and Hank Green, John Green is the author of “The Fault in our Stars” with this new exciting project.
You Tube Video: How to make Ideas Real.
I am a huge fan of the Green Brothers on You Tube. they are writers, musicians and really great men of the world. Anything we can do to help them, we do it.
So join the cause and make the world a better place.
There is a link, farther down on the blog. When you take the pledge on the site it will give you the code to place an image to your own Site, Blog, Tumblr.
Thanks Again …
Matter …
Courtesy: Animalbmx
I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts. Lots of things going on in my brain. Questions, concerns, feelings, emotions.
People are talking about Pride, as June is Pride month in many places. Pride won’t come to Montreal until the beginning of August. Pride is not something I think about these days. We’ve not talked about going as of yet, yet some writers are talking about the topic ad nauseum.
Another calendar year is coming to a close on the 8th of July. I mark my 17th anniversary living with AIDS. Nobody seems to care. Nobody brings it up and it is not a topic of conversation in any of my social circles. Among my short list of gay friends, we never talk about it. Nobody mentions it.
I go to the doctor and he is non-plussed. My doctor visits are like any other day. It is a rote event on the calendar every few months. The appointment begins and ends with not much fan fare. I’m alive, the drugs are working, I live a good life, so if it ain’t broken don’t fix it. My doctor never mentions the word mortality because I guess as long as the numbers are nominal then there is nothing to discuss.
Another generation of young people are coming up through the ranks. A generation who know nothing of what it was like and they don’t think about AIDS unless it is forced upon them in ads and print articles.
What is out of sight is out of mind.
None of the gay folk I read on a daily basis mention any word of std’s or AIDS or anything of that matter. For the most part it is all about Grindr, and the hunt for sex. With technology comes the easy effort in finding ones next conquest. And you have to be between the ages of 24 and 30, young cut and hot. Many of us oldsters don’t fit in today’s acceptable demographic. And because of that fact, the young don’t care that we exist, nor do they take the time to pay us any mind. Just spend any time on Tumblr or You Tube.
If the storytellers don’t speak up and tell the stories of the past, the topic would never get talked about in any case. I don’t have to rehash all the memories from the last 17 years, all you need to do is click on the pages and read for yourselves.
I don’t know, I’m feeling a little forgotten. Like if I don’t initiate contact between any of my friends, they would not initiate contact either. Facebook is the easy out, we are on every day, we read statuses and messages and I guess that’s all part and parcel of technology. Connection at a distance. As long as you are updating your status every day, there is no need to see each other.
Sobriety is a rote activity. I follow the same routine every week. Week in week out day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. People come, people go, they don’t seem to take notice of me. I see the same people at the meeting every week. I visit assorted meetings every week as well. I come and go almost unnoticed. Nobody asks how I am doing or what I am up to. It’s amazing that I can walk into a room, sit down with my coffee, sit through a meeting and go and not speak to one person from that meeting. Not many people extend a hand, and I guess I have to admit that I don’t either.
I was talking to Holly earlier tonight and I said that sobriety is not what it was like ten years ago. People have come and gone. And being Gay in straight sober circles doesn’t seem to work for many people in the rooms. As long as I don’t open my mouth or share anything personal, they are ok. I don’t make issue of homosexuality in the rooms. I came out to Holly earlier and I did not think twice about it, and she was cool with it. I told her about what some people have said to me over the years and how people treat me in our meeting. AA might be all inclusive from the outside, but from the inside it is very exclusive.
I do my meetings, I keep to my routine. I am cordial to people and say hello here and there. And on the odd occasion someone will remember me at certain meetings because I follow the same schedule every week. I was surprised last week at Friday West End that people know my name because I read for the meeting a few weeks ago, because a man sat down behind me and I heard someone ask him if he knew my name, and he did.
Tonight at the meeting we had the 27 folks, we ran long and we made a decision from the chair that we would run long to allow all the folks in the room the chance to share, and it came that the last person to share really needed that two minutes to hear himself speak. And some had to complain about running long …
I don’t get it, alcoholics spent hours upon hours in a bar getting hammered and if you told them to leave or cut short a bar visit they would get up in your face. But should an AA meeting go over the hour mark, heaven forbid… That was an issue some people had when we changed the format that we were actually going an hour fifteen, which some people bitched and moaned about.
I am waiting until these bitchers and moaners come to the meeting and need an extra few minutes to share just to cut them off at the pass, just out of spite. It has always been understood that the chair usually never cuts someone off during a share. However, some folks at the meeting now go on and on and we have allowed that to happen. Maybe we should tighten up that portion of the meeting.
A home group for me, is the place that I call home, where I can share what ever’s on my mind, and that goes for everyone who walks in the door. If you sit in a chair you get a chance to speak. No matter what some pissy members might want. If you can’t sit for a few minutes more to give someone a chance to share, then go out and fucking drink … UGH !!! God give me strength…
I guess it’s not always about me now that I’ve come to the end of this piece. Or maybe it is. Something to maybe bring up next week in private with a friend.
I guess I just maybe need to be acknowledged. Maybe I need to feel relevant and important, that I am not just taking up space, where nobody notices me like a piece of furniture. You can’t put words in someones mouth nor can you expect a lot from alcoholics.
Expectations, that is a lesson I learned a long time ago. Expectations, you can have them, but not put very much importance on them, because people are people fickle as they are, if you never expect, then you are never dissatisfied.
Does it matter that I have survived? Does my existence really matter to anyone besides myself? People don’t know, nor do they ask about life in all its complexities. In the program I have acquaintances – but very few friends who are part of my inner circle. In the last nine and some odd years, nobody has stepped up to be that kind of friend.
People are non moved that I do the lion’s share of the work every week in order to put on a meeting, and still have the audacity to bitch and moan about something they don’t like. Which I am like, you know what, Fuck off …
People take for granted the fact that we work very hard to keep the meeting up and running every week and yet every week someone has to bitch. Fucking alcoholics. Some of them are never satisfied.
Thank God I am powerless over people, places and things.
The Week that was and what will be …
Here is a complete family photo. Images released from Britain of the royal wedding party.
The week has come and gone we are down to the last week of class with final exams and essays due in the next week. It’s almost over and I need to get through one more writing exam in French and my final interview to come the week following. I have an essay and final exam on next Thursday.
The week was a success and ended on a very high note with the Royal Wedding on Friday morning. I worked two phone shifts this week. One on Thursday which was uneventful. Thank God we have a computer that works in the office.
Thursday night I stayed up all night watching live coverage of the wedding from here in Montreal. I had to work a shift on Friday afternoon which meant that I did not get much sleep going into Friday. I think I finally got to sleep around 7:30 in the morning on Friday and I had to be up by 11 to get on my way by noon on the train out of town.
It was a very hazy day – when I got to the office You Tube was streaming a rebroadcast of the wedding so I got to see the portion of the day that I missed because I was sleeping.
The Friday shift was again uneventful. I didn’t get may calls so I used the time wisely farming and watching You Tube videos all afternoon. I worked until 6 and came home. I was pretty beat. We ordered pizza in and chilled around the tv until midnight when we both turned in.
Oh, on the way home from working my shift I ran by the Circuit City, I think that’s what it’s called I had to buy some cable to run from the computer to the speakers in the bedroom, because we pipe in Coast to Coast on Friday and Saturday nights.
Cable is expensive, and I also bought a new pair of Logitech speakers because the ones we have were shot. I have to say that they work quite well, the sound is crisp and clear, much better than our old speakers.
I got a good night’s sleep and today we watched some tv, SNL is on now and I will hit the sack in a couple of hours.
Tomorrow I will hit a meeting and get into the books to study for a while.
Tonight You Tube is streaming the Beatification of John Paul II from Rome from 1 to 4 am. I may watch for a little bit.
So that was the week that was.
More to come, stay tuned…
Rainy Days and Tuesdays …
Courtesy: Mind-State
They say that it is supposed to rain and rain and rain some more. But they haven’t been very good at forecasting in recent days. The city was supposed to get a deluge of rain, but that didn’t happen. It’s just a little drizzly out, enough to make it dark and gloomy.
There is a hockey game tonight, so that affected tonight’s numbers. But still, we had a good turn out nonetheless. In the end the night turned out good. The new format is flourishing and there is money in the kitty to cover prudent reserve.
This is an odd month, because I have back to back shifts at the phones on Thursday (my 4th Thursday) and on Friday (my 5th Friday). I got a call from the DLP the other night for my Friday, before I got a call for my Thursday, and for a moment I thought I missed a shift, but I didn’t.
We are coming to the end of term at Dawson. Two more weeks and everything will be finished. I don’t have the term book for summer studies yet. I have a few things that have to get done in the next few days and a final project that I have yet to work on for French. (let us pray…)
The 2011 election campaign is in its final days and the push is on for all parties to get out the message. Facebook has been a crucial tool in getting the vote out and we are hoping that we get a good turnout at the polls this coming Monday.
If you’re a citizen and you can vote – there is no excuse for you not to vote. The very future of Canada hangs in the balance. People we have to vote. Voting is a privilege, exercise your right and get out there and vote. There are several mass media campaigns out there on Facebook, Twitter and online to get people to the polls next week. You Tube is active with all parties posting ads on the Tube.
That’s about it from here tonight.
I need to eat dinner and do some homework. Yay Homework …
More to come, stay tuned.
Kandy Krew …
Courtesy: Tumblr
Anybody who watches videos on You Tube must know about Vlog Candy. This channel has been one of my favorite channels on You Tube for years now. Andrew, John, Zach, Megan and Aubrey they are five incredibly creative people on the Tube.
Sadly, this week is all about goodbyes. The channel is coming to an end, but as I learned, the channel will stay up and running so we can watch their videos in the future. We shall see what incarnates next for these creative folks.
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Spring may have begun, but you’d never know it by the weather. It has been cold, cold enough that I am still wearing my winter jacket out and about. And there is a rain warning in effect by Environment Canada. They say it’s gonna pour down rain, snow and ice pellets over the next three days. UGH !!!
Today was like any other day. Tuesdays are always the same. Set up was a breeze and we had about a dozen folks show up for the meeting. There were three generations of sobriety at the meeting tonight. There was me, my sponsor and his sponsor who has been sober since God was a boy. Almost 60 years now.
We read from the Big Book once again, “There is a solution.” I have two Big Books, one Third edition and one Fourth edition. Both of these books have seen action over the years. Most of the first 164 pages of the book are highlit in different colors over the years and there are dates and notes in the margins of the book from countless step series and readings.
It was a good meeting, a small group of people with varying time in sobriety made for great discussion. The reading went a little long which meant that the meeting went a little long, which isn’t a bad thing, we might shorten the read next week, as we are tweaking the way the meeting goes. It was our third week with the new format, it seems to be working ok. We are seeing the same faces which is a good thing.
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We are coming to the end of term this month, three weeks to make it all count. We are into Buddhism in our philosophy class which is good for me, a familiar topic seeing I have a degree in Religious Study, and I spent a good deal of time studying Eastern Religious Traditions.
Tomorrow I have my final reading test, god help us all. Then it is on the the final interview for the bulk of the grade. This is the one assignment that I cannot fail, because it will carry me forwards into the next French class during the summer. I have one more unit to go before I start regular French classes. There are two levels of study at Dawson depending on where you started based on your knowledge of the second language. I started from the beginning and the class I am in now is the second of three courses at this level of study.
That’s all I have for you tonight.
More to come, stay tuned…
Melancholy …
Courtesy: Thiswillnotdefineus
This post has been in my mind for the past couple of days. I should have written it at the first point that I put it together, but I didn’t feel like writing late at night, but late at night is when I do my best work. I do homework in the night, and it serves me well, because my mind is fully engaged with the material.
I told you some time ago that I had been revisiting some old stories from the past, namely those dealing with life and AIDS. And every time I do this action it always ends up in me becoming melancholy. Though this time it did not consume me like it usually does.
How many story tellers are there that have survived the scourge of AIDS. Those of us who lived through it and are still breathing today? I only know a few of those men personally. But I am sure there are a good number today.
Let me preface this writing by saying that every time I go to the doctor it is very mechanical. The same ritual every three months. I go drop labs and I wait the perfunctory three weeks and go see my doctor. I get triaged and they take my particular information and stats. The doc comes in, does his ritual poke and prod and says the numbers are great, he says, as usual, I need to loose some weight and such and so forth and that is that.
He doesn’t look backwards and we never talk about survival. That is just implicit as long as the numbers are nominal, there is no discussion about dying.
So I read two books in the last few weeks that were written by the late Paul Monette, a seminal writer of AIDS literature, right from the middle of the battle zone. He wrote as it happened, raw and in your face. He tells a sordid story of pain, hell and misery. Back when there were no solutions, only stabs in the dark with treatments that might work but were not proven.
Every time I wade into the past I come away with a different result. I wrote a few days ago that I was feeling a little out of sorts, trying to find my groove still waiting for that excitement to come in sobriety.
Several topics have been shared over several platforms that I engage in. One of my friends just turned 40, another friend asked the question “Do you think that you grew up too fast?” There are many different discussions going on in the gay You Tube World.
Today is Friday – the National Day of Silence. To bring attention to LGBTQ bullying in the world.
So let me talk about growing up.
I had adult size issues on my plate before I left junior high school. Coming from an alcoholic home we grew up, (my brother and I) quickly. We learned house hold chores, yard work and we learned how to care for our vehicles.
Mom and dad worked around the clock for many years, taking turns in shifts raising their kids. And who could complain? We had everything we needed and the family grew up as it did. They say you should never live with regrets. And i don’t.
When illness hit our family early on, I was thrust into the mix by my father hoping against hope that I would serve him well, which did not happen, and to this day it is my thought that he never forgave me for not saving his mother from the suffering of the stroke that took her life many years later.
I knew very early on what was happening. I was a good listener. I feasted on words that came out of every mouth in my young life. I learned a great many things in my young life. By the time I moved out of the house I had enough knowledge in my head to get me through any situation. What I lacked though, the one kicker was responsibility. Paying bills, taking care of adult issues surrounding money and all of that. I failed miserably at that point.
I had an addiction, that took me to the gates of hell, and I had no idea, it is only in retrospect that I can safely say that someone up there likes me because I survived that, although not unscathed.
Illness, I know a lot about illness and death. Illness forces you to grow up immediately even if you don’t know what the hell you are doing, you grow up anyways. I think I hit my 40′s when I was just in my twenties.
Living through the scourge of AIDS taught me a great many things about men, life and survival. Not to mention death …
I always say that when they invent a viable time machine that I know exactly where I would go and why. I would go back to when it all started. All of my friends would be alive – and life would be there for me to revisit. I often revisit that time in my life in my memories often. Every time I read the old stories they take me right back to the fight for our lives.
If I did not have the men and women in my life that I did then, I would surely have died. What did I learn? To live as if I were dying, because that’s what we were doing for so many years. But the funny thing was I survived. Was it because of me or in spite of myself? How did I escape the horrors that took so many of my friends to their graves? I have no idea.
They gave me all that I could take. Hoping against hope that I would walk away from this scourge with my dignity in tact. Every year that I live I tack another year onto my life record. Couple that with sobriety and you have a pretty strong combination. Surviving AIDS in sobriety is pretty sweet.
I wonder what is still on the table at times? I wonder about where I am in my life, and what I am supposed to be doing. I need a job, I need a life, not that I want out of the one I am in. But I need some tangible way to spend the mental cash I have in the bank. At 43 I have nothing to show for my time except two diplomas that are still in their envelopes from the day they were given to me.
What is my destiny? Who am I supposed to become, and I am becoming him?
All I have are stories.
I have written most of them already. All I can do now is write about today and what life is showing me right now. I am living in the moment. When I am mindful of the moment, I can write like this. Crank up the tunes and just sit and type until my brain is empty.
Sometimes I get a twang of survivors guilt. It doesn’t last long because I don’t have a death wish. I don’t sit and ponder my utter demise. As long as I am breathing then there is no need to think about death. And that bothers me to a degree. People are living with AIDS much longer, thank god I have great medical care. I could be stuck in other places scraping the pavement trying to pay my way and pay for drugs. Been there done that.
I am starting to fade, which means I should bring this to a close before I start rambling all over the place. Too many thoughts. I miss my friends.
That’s all for right now.
More to come, stay tuned …
Remembrance Day 2011 …
Courtesy: Suburbanaut
Do you know who this is? I do. You can follow him HERE.
The week is shaping up quite nicely. I have been cleared to live through the month of March next year, class last night was fun. We have a huge writing exam to take place in class next Wednesday so I will have to brush up on my writing.
Humanities was interesting tonight. It went well. We met tonight in our small groups for our Monarch presentation that will take place the beginning of December. Thank God this term is almost over with. As soon as I finish this project, term will be over with. And I won’t have to take another humanities class ever again, after what happened this term. UGH !!!
Remembrance Day 2011 …
Today is 11 – 11 – 10 … Otherwise known as Remembrance Day in Canada. There was a spectacular show from Ottawa and the war memorial as there is every year on this day.
I happened upon a military veteran at the mall a few days ago as I was passing through, and since I had not put on a poppy yet from home, I gave my humble yearly donation to the vets and I was given a poppy live, right there from one of our many service members.
It is very important that we remember those who have given their lives for our freedom and safety and to keep in our hearts the many men and women who are serving over seas …
Veterans rights and veterans issues have been in the news as of late. The fact is that the government seems to be lacking where these men and women are concerned. Which is a shame. There is not enough money to care for them when they return home, and veterans pensions are not what they should be. And the government should do more, but they choose not to comment or make any grand announcement about bettering the lives of the women and men who come back and need comprehensive care.
So much to think about today. And so much we must do in the future. We thank our service members for the sacrifice they have made for our country and we welcome back all those who have made it home from theatres of war over seas.
More tomorrow. We are going to Brossard tomorrow night for our meeting, so that will be an adventure. Stay tuned …
Summer 15 …
A project was introduced on You Tube over the past couple of weeks called the “Summer 15.” It is a reading project for the summer. I did not go out and buy 15 books … too much money. But I have bought some new books in the last month. Here are the books that I have read so far in the past month or so.
1. beatrice and virgil – Yann Martel
2. Life of Pi – Yann Martel – winner – The Man Booker Prize
3. John the Baptizer – Brooks Hansen
The next two books I just bought today from Indigo.
4. The Bishop’s Man – Linden MacIntyre (CBC 5th Estate journalist)
Giller Prize winner.
5. Fall – Colin McAdam – Giller Prize finalist
Linden, Colin and Yann are all Canadian authors. I think this is a trend, that I picked up these two books today, they sound like good reads. I will keep you posted.
So what are you reading this summer, leave a comment below.
More to come, stay tuned …
Book Review: beatrice & virgil
Thanks to my friend Will, over on You Tube, I read another book because he really likes this author Yann Martel, the famed writer of “Life of Pi.” Thursday night is the meet and greet here in town and I will be getting Will his autograph.
I have to say that this book was interesting. A little unassuming, and surely strange. It was a short read, but a good read nonetheless. With little books, you have to pay attention to the words, because if you miss something, you will ruin the read, and that was surely the case with this book.
A couple times I wanted to put the book down but I always went back to reread something I missed. This read was interesting in that the story starts out with one story about a writer and morphs into a literary adventure between this writer and one of his readers.
And just who and what are beatrice and virgil? And why did he choose this title of the book? You’ll have to read to find that out.
What happens next needs to be tread very carefully. Every word means something. You have to read every word in the order that they were written, and not skip anything because if you do, you may miss it. You will have to buy the book to understand what “IT” is…
The twist in the book is subtle. Though the subject matter discussed is important for historical purposes. I enjoyed the read, as I am sure you will as well.
Haiti, Pat Robertson, and the Devil: Father Matthew Presents
Haiti, Pat Robertson, and the Devil: Father Matthew Presents
The First Day …
I just had to use that photo…
Monday has come and gone. And these were my thoughts last night before I went to bed:
I need some prayer, maybe some advice? Maybe both and then some. i start my second semester as a grad student, with misgivings and second thoughts. I’m not quite feeling the spirit and I am a bit sad overall. I did not do so well last semester and knowing I have to rewrite all my work from last semester is hanging over me like a pall. They tell me that I wasn’t critical enough in my thoughts, and that I played it too safe – the fear of plagiarism is pervasive. Sometimes I totally miss the mark when it comes to writing papers. Especially when it comes to church history and church fathers.
*I am second guessing myself more today than I have done before. I have been pondering leaving the program but I can’t do that because it is money in the pocket as long as I stay in school. I wonder if I am getting too old to do this kinda thing? I worry that that pall of “incomplete” will haunt me this semester as well.Last semester was tough because of the walls that became painfully aware to me between the undergraduates and the graduates.*People who were my friends would not even pay me any attention last semester and that made me upset. I feel alone in this endeavor. I am not the only graduate in the program but friendships and comradery is far and few between. I’ve been feeling that feeling of alienation to a great extent lately and I don’t know where that comes from, but it is unnerving.*I haven’t been put on academic probation yet my grades are in limbo until I complete the past work again, they gave me until March to get it all done, in addition to all the work that I will be doing this term. But I am unsure of my next steps. And I am unsure of my next decision.
*So I will go to class tomorrow night and see how it goes. I know my program director will want to see me – because he did not get to me before the holidays. And he will dress me down as well, ugh !!!
*What should I do? How should I proceed? I know where the light is – but it seems dark at the moment. I know I should live in the moment and follow the path and I am trying to do that tonight.I haven’t had the opportunity to talk to anyone of my friends face to face since term ended last month everybody’s been away or busy and so I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for a few weeks now and I am about to go crazy over them.
I’ve been in my head as of late worrying about where I sit in the grand scheme of things. So I put this to prayer and sent it off to one of my spiritual advisers late last night, he has yet to respond. I am sure he is praying nonetheless.
There are 4 graduate students, one R.A. and the Prof. in my Old Testament class on Monday nights. We are studying the “Divine Election and the Rejection in the Books of Samuel.”
There are familiar faces in the class from last term and new man named Trevor. They all have past biblical study, but I do not, which means that I am going to have to step up my game. I have to buy a new Harper Collins Study Bible before next weeks class.
On a totally unrelated topic, watch this video and marvel at the natural beauty of Venezuela. I’ve been watching videos from this group of bikers who live in Venezuela over the last month and the videos just get better and better. If you are a You Tuber you can check out the account [ frohwrx]…
Enduro Tachira en HD – Subiendo Las Cebollas
This is one of the most beautiful videos he has up on this series. I want to go there and see it for myself. That would be a vacation…
So that’s all for tonight.
More to come, stay tuned…
Symphony of Science Videos…
Symphony of Science – ‘We Are All Connected’ (ft. Sagan, Feynman, deGrasse Tyson & Bill Nye)
Carl Sagan – ‘A Glorious Dawn’ ft Stephen Hawking (Cosmos Remixed)
DOH !!!
I spent all afternoon on campus today looking for books and articles for my term papers. We can search the stacks from home because we have electronic access to the library so that is what I did last night. Look for books and request them for pick up.
Origen of Alexandria was becoming a pain in my ass because I could not find any texts of what I needed, so I went to the department again today and then I thought that I could ask one of my prof’s if they had a copy of Origen’s On First Principles, which he does, so I am going to pick that up on Friday.
I went back to the library to double check my sources and I thought that if i put a title into the generator that it would tell me where to go look for it in the stacks. So that’s what I did. I haul my ass up to the stacks and find a stool to sit on while I look up the shelves for my books, I had my reference numbers on hand and I had written them down incorrectly. I was in the right spot but the book seemed invisible. So I walk back down to circulation and ask a librarian for help to find it. As we were walking back up to the stacks I said to her, “watch you are going to walk back up here and find the book right where I was looking to begin with – and there the book will be.”
She told me that her record was 80% positive that she finds every book that she looks for and wouldn’t you know it, right there on a low shelf tucked in between two old volumes was the book I wanted … I was so embarrassed.
Me so Dumb …
I came home and started to peruse my books to see what was in them, I did not think the look through the six books I checked out before I left the library. I decided to stick with Origen so I did not need any of my Irenaeus texts. I looked over the other five and decided that I would keep three of them and return the others.
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I got an email from one of my customers who was freaking out about a package that I mailed last week, what a nightmare … I spent an hour on the phone between Canada Post, the U.S. Postal Service and U.S. Customs trying to figure out where my package was. nobody had an answer, but they gave me a target date of the 17th before I could file a lost package ticket. People want their packages quickly and the holidays are coming and the mail service going to other countries is already beginning to back up. I’ve got two going Canada Post and one going Fedex. All are in the pipe and I am powerless over them right now and that’s what I told my client today. I don’t think she is happy, but she hasn’t requested a refund for her purchase yet, so that’s good. I need the hundred dollars right about now, and my account won’t release those funds until that package is delivered or I refund the payment. So we wait for the 17th to roll around …
After I got that out of the way I went back to my books and started reading through them a little bit. Hubby came home and I got dressed again and walked back up to the library to return the books I did not need. You don’t sit with books on the dining room table during paper season. If you don’t need your books then turn them back in. I made two trips out to campus today, thank God it wasn’t that cold out.
I think I am ready to work on my “What is the role of Sophia in Gnostic Cosmogony” paper and my “Christology and Origen of Alexandria” paper.
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Tomorrow is Friday the 13th …
I think that speaks for itself. People are getting crazy before hand and I can’t get caught up in their insanity. One must remain detached and level headed. On the way home from campus I went to do a little supermarket safari for dinner. I haven’t been in the mood to cook, so I got a box of chicken for dinner, everybody likes chicken finger… Last night we went to Micky D’s for dinner, I could not be bothered to cook.
Well, that’s that for today …
Wait for it … a little video blast from the past…
Depeche Mode – Strange Love US ’88 HQ
Concert News U2 …
Last night the world got a real treat. U2 was performing at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena California and they webcast the entire show online. The show went live in California at 8:30 p.m. with a 9:00 p.m. start. We stayed up late here on the East Coast to see the entire show.
The concert is available to see right now on U2′s Official Channel over on You Tube, if you didn’t get a chance to see it last night. If you’ve never seen a live U2 show, this one rocked …
Jack and his Mum … NCOD
National Coming Out Day 2009
Best Line Ever …
Dont go in there,
It comes at the end of the story…
“Look, I don’t even like the puss…”
A new You Tuber who I found the other night. He’s hilarious.
Dedication
Madonna The Sticky & Sweet Tour HD Part 6
This, I think is my favorite segment of the Sticky and Sweet Tour and I am posting it as a dedication. I love this song… It’s on my MP3 player and I listen to it every day at the gym. Enjoy …
Dana Manchester …
Betty Buckley – Meadowlark
The first lady of Florida. Was my friend. When I was but a wee little gay boy, I met her at the Parliament House in Orlando. She was performing with the troupe one night and I was stunned. Over the years we met at different functions and at other clubs on the circuit.
When I started my light man career, it was my pleasure to “light” many shows at different clubs where I had been employed. This particular piece of music, Betty Buckley’s “Meadowlark” was a favorite of Dana’s. When I worked at Ozone in Miami, she would get there early to do her prep and makeup and she would always ask me how the crowd was that night and then we would choose her music for the night’s show. This was one of my favorite pieces of music that she would sing for me, for us.
I came across it last night as I was reliving some of my past through you tube videos. I hope you enjoy it too. Dana died some years ago from AIDS complications and it broke my heart to hear that news. So in her memory I present to you… Meadowlark …
T-Mobile Sing-along – Pink Rocks Trafalgar
T-Mobile Sing-along – Pink Rocks Trafalgar
T-Mobile Sing-along Trafalgar Square (extended version)
T-Mobile Sing-along Trafalgar Square (extended version)
Sing Along.
