thank you.

thank you.

Your posts leave me powerful things to reflect on. Thanks for that.

First off… the chosen reading from the Big Book…. specifically, “But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself”. When in fact, the folly of many AAs, new and longtimers alike, is that we do indeed forget that we have tapped the most amazing force we have ever experienced in our lives! Or we limit our belief in its power to only get us and keep us sober; seldomr applying the power to “all of our affairs”.

Think about it, the power of God has set us free from a hopeless vice far beyond the power of our will. We live lives full of constant challenges, yet so many AAs seem content only to remain sober. At least in my experience. Yet by simply applying these same principles to other areas of our lives, including relationships, health, and our work or careers, we can unlock similar miracles.

And the only ingredients we need to contribute are “willingness, patience and labour”. We don’t need to devise the plan. We just need to apply our volition to the program God gives us that others who have gone before us have proven that it works. And we have their help… for free!

I don’t mean to make light of your weather report in Montreal…. but I am writing to you from sunny Hawaii where it is poised to be 80 degrees today One of the blessings of recovery I suppose.

Another thought that comes to mind from your post is the notion of promises from the Big Book. I have often wondered if making promises is in keeping with the overal tone of the Big Book and the AA program as I have come to understand it. I will go so far as to say, and I hope sincerely not to come across as argumentative on your post, but I am not convinced that the Big Book promises anything.

To give some context, the Big Book makes no commands or orders. It makes suggestions. The Big Book does not force any narrow definitions or systems of faith. Rather, it shares experiences and even softens the introduction of God with “as we understood Him”. To me these are not evidences of whimping or weakness, but rather of humble honesty. I don’t experience the orginal AAs as forceful know-it-alls, so I am not convinced they would make any promises.

So what are the things in the Big Book we frequently refer to as the 12 (or as many as 182) promises? Could they not be observations? Consistent trends?

Even the most quoted part of the Big Book, the “How it works” reading, states “rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path”. Which I take to mean not everyone who thoroughly follows the path stays sober. So the program, by its own Big Book admission, does not have linear perfection. (I think I just came up with the topic of a new post ).

So I don’t mean to split hairs too finely on this issue. It is something that often resonates in my mind in AA environments.

Thanks again for the fodder for lively discussion my brother!

Ciao.

Chaz

Thanks for it.

Chaz

In my experience, complacency with my program tends not to happen when I am practicing step 12 on a regular basis.

One thing I notice is that when one mentions working step 12, the common tendancy is the think of helping others. Yet this is only half of Step 12. The much-overlooked part of step 12 is the … “practicing these principles in all of our affairs” part.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but for this now-sober alchie, I still find many aspects of life unmanegable if I am not using the principles I learned to help me get sober.

The least of which is not RELATIONSHIPS! Marriage, work, family, kids, neighbours, old school mates that I run into on Facebook, people in traffice, grocery cashiers, tradesmen working on our house….. you name it. I practice the principles of recovery in all of these areas and more because I want life to be increasingly better all the time… and happy to report it is!

I had to practice these principle during some very tough and painful parenting times. I have teenagers and they can break your heart in an instant. And marriage is the biggest one. I have been through a divorce and don’t care to go through another. I love my wife but my affection for her and attraction to her are not enough. I must learn to unwind my selfishness and old thinking on how relationships function. This is a lifelong process that I find the principles of the 12 steps and many aspects of AA culture extremely helpful in. I could go on and on but am sure you get my point.

Pearls of wisdom? Too many to list! But here are a couple I use frequently:

Keep it simple! When I am overwhelmed with something, I actively practice shutting out the big picture. I have learned to actively “Thing small”. Meaning one tiny step in attacking the task or problem ahead of me. This is also a carry-through of “what an order! I can’t go through with it”, and its follow-up advice. If it worked for getting sober, why won’t it work for my job, home renovations, finances, fitness, etc? It does!

Turn it over! Someone once told me a little buzz-phrase to summarize step 3: “I couldn’t, He could, I let him”. Meaning turning it over to God that which we recognize (using the wisdom to know the difference that we just prayed for) we can’t do on our own! And I know I don’t have to convince you that it works! Amazingly well and consistently!

Great post Jeremy!

Ciao.

Chaz

I too learned through experience, including but not limited to a crash and burn centred around my alcoholism, that life is really more about who we are and what we do in each moment than it is about measuring up to external standards that may be completely irrelevant to us.

In this though, I do not mean we should settle for less than our potential in any area. I simply mean that it truly does start from the inside and work its way out. I have known far too many sick wealthy people who have many external abundances, yet are sick, weak, and barely functioning at their cores.

LIfe has taught me that the little things really are the big things. Health, love of your spouse and family, sanity, good food (not extravagant), integrity, work ethic, a sense of humour, faith, and kindness. Would you not agree that the world today is in short supply of people who could be described as I just did? I would.

I met a guy today about my age who was extremely wealthy. Yet I observed the way he treated people and conducted himself in a business transactions and I quickly concluded that I have no envy of him whatsoever. Sounds like he has lots of cool stuff, and can do what he pleases…. but did it cost him his honour? Has it cost him love, or at the very least, consideration for his fellow man? If so, it is not worth it.

Glad to hear Goldie Hawn appears to be grounded. I can believe it. She seems solid.

Great post.

Ciao.

Chaz