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Archive for January, 2012

Love with no Price Tag …

Courtesy: Rawrdaniel

Yay, it snowed today. A very nice blanket of snow rests upon the city tonight, making driving and bit dicey. It was just enough snow to pile up in places, but probably not enough snow to warrant plows on the streets and highways, at least I haven’t seen plows out yet tonight. They are calling for freezing rain overnight, but it is still cold out, so it may snow some more. We are sitting at (-7c/-14c w/c).

On the way out, snow was falling in buckets and it was cold. Thankfully my walk route is mostly indoors to the church. I cut through the forum, then Alexis Nihon and Westmount Square. I arrived and got set up done by 5:45 because our business meeting was this evening.

I love our group. It is growing in so many ways. And we are doing things that we have never done before. We have set out ambitious goals with as many people as possible in service commitments. We added 4 more roles to the meeting. We will have a new secretary, point people on the guys/girls side to help newcomers find sponsors or temporary sponsors. We are also adding new “support the meeting” program to our meeting. Which means that we are collecting meeting info for smaller meetings out of the city that need support so that people can go out and help them along. Kind of like “sponsor a meeting.”

We have a handful of new members who have some great ideas that we are incorporating into our meeting that are done in other cities like New York and Ottawa. With a bumper crop of members we can expand our reach into areas of change and service. Many of our long time sober women are a wealth and a serious asset to our group.

We talked about “Tools of the program” tonight. Our chair decided that we would read from a Grapevine. If you don’t know what a Grapevine is, it is a printed monthly meeting in print. You get articles written by alcoholics and meeting news and photos of meeting halls around the world. In each issue there is a joke page and upcoming info page. You can buy a subscription to the Grapevine or get them (I think) at your local inter group office.

Tools are important. You have a choice when you come to a meeting. You can listen and take the tools offered to you or you can choose not to …

But they are there for you. People to talk to. Slogans to write down. Making a gratitude list at home, calling members just because. Go to meetings and participate. Join a home group and get active.

I shared tonight that if I have a problem, I bring it to the table. Invariably over the last ten years – If I have serious issues going on I talk about it at a meeting and nine times out of ten, I get answers – all the time. One way or another.

We all have issues. And some of them are common. If you come to a meeting and your head is all squirrely ask, talk about it, and see if someone else has been there before who can help you now.

I have an issue tonight. Something I have been praying about for a long time. I so want to quit smoking. And I have tried in the past, and failed. But on Sunday night one of my friends told me that he was quitting. And that he has successfully put down the smokes. And if he can do it, then so can I. I don’t want to buy smokes any more. I don’t want to smoke any more. It’s time. And I think with ten years of sobriety I know how to be willing and ready to put them down.

Willingness … that’s the issue.

I am praying for willingness tonight. I want the obsession to pick up a smoke to leave me. I bought my pack of gum and I am ready to take the plunge. We’ll see how I fare over the next few days. They say that the first week is a bitch. If I can get past a week, then it will be ok. I have tools to use.

Tomorrow, I have to be up with the birdies because I see the doc for my first 2012 medical update for both my HIV doctor and my Diabetes doctor. After the last lab scare earlier in the month, nothing has been said to me about my labs. So I am sure things are ok, just how ok they are we shall see.

More updates to come – stay tuned …

Time to eat my Subway and watch some tv.

Last Sunday of the Month

Courtesy: European Airport – Google Images

Our Welfare should come first, personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity.

It is a cold night in Montreal (-2c / -7c wc ) here in the city.

We begin the week at Sunday Nighter’s. It was a full meeting. Lots of people, one of my friends was back from over seas from Japan for a death in the family, it was good to see him. He flies back to Japan next week.

As it is the last Sunday of the month, we read from the twelve and twelve, and the first tradition because it is the first month of the year. Today’s read: Tradition One.

The discussion went around the room and came around to my side of the circle and I want to touch on something one of the members said about the tradition before my own.

He said “Airplanes can’t fly without an airport. They need to eventually touch down and refuel. Airplanes don’t fly unassisted, they need a home base to touch at some point on their journey.”

I liked that analogy. We go about our days doing things, going to work, going to school and the mundane goings on of the day. Eventually we need to hit a meeting and recharge or refuel our batteries. And that’s where a home group/or any meeting comes into play.

I have two home groups that I participate in. One on Tuesday and one on Friday night. My life revolves around my meetings. And that’s the way I have lived my life for the last ten years, and that method of rooting then living has worked for me.

I hit other meetings throughout the week as needed. I usually hit meetings where my sponsees might be so that I can touch base with them and to listen to them as well. I think if you are going to work with someone, you should invest in their meetings so that you can keep tabs on them as they get sober.

I am nothing without the group. I need meetings like I need water and food. I need to see my friends who are part of my life (in my meetings). We are  a bunch who would not necessarily mix in the regular world, but in a meeting, we are one.

We are professionals, maybe doctors, or teachers or workers of some kind. But when we cross the threshold of the doors to the meeting, all that we are disappears and we become equal sitting around the table. We learn how to socialize, to be part of a group. We learn how to turn the light from ourselves to others. It changes from “what about me” to “what about you?” “What can I do for you – what can I say, how can I help you?”

We come together for one primary purpose. We all have a desire to stop drinking and the only way “we” can do that is together. We learn that it is not always about ourselves. And that we can’t keep it, unless we give it away.

And that is something that I do every week. I work with others. I put on meetings. I participate in my selected groups that I am part of. I am part of a living, breathing organism. I play my part in setting up, making coffee and setting up chairs. Each member of the group has a task they perform each week to make a meeting possible. We are unified in one single purpose, to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

That is why our welfare comes first, personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.

The State of Our Union …

Courtesy: Elleusine “Edna Mode …”

We are sitting at (2c) at this hour. They tell us that snow will fall once again and gusty winds will blow overnight. It was a rather bright and balmy day in the neighborhood. The weather has been up and down and up and down for days.

But we keep on keeping on. There are things to do, meetings to set up and people to serve. And not even snow keeps us from the work of our hands.

*** *** *** ***

Things at home have been at a strain for a while now. Bi-polar depression is taking its toll on my hubby to the degree that the doc has bumped up all his meds to maximum to try and get him out of the funk he has been in for some time.

Today we had a mini state of our union meeting. And we talked about everything that has been going on, problems we are having and issues that need to be looked at. And if I don’t say it enough, I love my husband. I loved who he was before and I grow to love who he is more and more each day.

At times it seems that I am not paying close enough attention to things going on around me, and I missed a few cues along the way. But I was made aware of them today. Hubby is working hard on digging himself out of the pit of depression he has been in for some time. And work has suffered because of it, but his supervisors and fellow teachers have been trying to help him along the way as he is able.

That’s a problem with Bi-Polar depression. The lows can get really low and when you hit a high, it may be very high, but not sustainable for long periods, so one peaks and then begins the hard fall down again.

Part of hubby’s occupational therapy coming back was to give him responsibility after being down for so long in the beginning. And he has not only stepped up to the plate but he has systematically taken charge of all things house and home.

And I think to myself that I haven’t been contributing enough to this effort except in paying rent and keeping the bills up to date. But Hubby has taken charge of making sure all the major accounts are kept up.

But he has goals for both of us. Goals that I can hardly wrap my brain around.I never imagined that I would live this long nor have dreams this big.

We have been on an uphill climb for years, ever since we moved in together in 2002. We have made a home, decorated it simply and over the years we have replaced all of our electronic devices. And life has been comfortable, to a degree. But the one boulder we still are under is financial.

They say that “fear of people and of financial insecurity will leave us!”

When ???

Living with AIDS tells us that we should never look to far forwards into the future because you never know when the other shoe is going to drop …

But hubby thinks otherwise. So here is the plan.

First: Hubby is proud that I have found a vocation in the room of Alcoholics Anonymous. That I am working with sponsees and I have found two groups of people who I love to be with and who love me in return. This has been my life for the last ten years, and though it doesn’t pay out dividends in cash, it does pay out spiritually and helps us both. It is my sober head that hubby needs in his life. He said that this is my vocation. However simple it is, it has brought me joy and fulfillment.

Secondly: He has stated unequivocally that this year is the last year that I will be studying at school. The only real reason that I am still in school is because of the payout that we get for school via financial aide. Since I have had the time credit in the bank for Cegep since I did not do that earlier in life, that I would use it now and bide my time until the next door opened up to us. At least it is some contribution to the household.

Well, the door has opened.

I will finish this term in May and finally bring to a close my years of education. Since neither of my degrees in Religious Studies nor Pastoral Ministries has paid out in any functional job opportunities, the fall back position has always been my meetings.

Hubby was granted a full pay position at school which he is being paid handsomely for. And he will finish his M.A. this year and defend sometime later in the year. And in September he said that he hoped that he would begin his full time teaching at some level here in Montreal. He has all the credits and degrees he will need plus his M.A. in Sociology to put to good use.

Thirdly: Our apartment has done well for us over the years. But the time is coming that we will be looking to move from here into something bigger with new furniture and new carpets and new bedding and just all around new things. His long term goal is to find a condo somewhere that would suffice that we could possibly be able to afford come the end of the year, once he hopes to be making good money. The only caveat here is that I want a view. Nothing on the street and not in some squat 40 year old building.

I will be afforded the luxury of living off my assistance from the states and what ever other money I need from hubby’s pay. Hopefully these goal will come to fruition as he sees it. And why shouldn’t it, seeing that he has done all this work and not for naught. Once he finishes his M.A. good paying work should follow.

The fact that I could not find a job that I would love to do to save my life is apparent. I am not going to become a barista at some doughnut shop or work some retail job in some box store nor sling burgers at some burger joint. I did not go to university for seven years to have to stoop to that kind of work at my age. You’d imagine that somewhere on the net, with all the business profiles and contacts I have that a job would present itself, well it hasn’t. Which is why I deleted all my university contacts from my LinkedIn profile. They havent served me so why maintain those connections. Really ! Really !!!

Hubby has stated that his goal in life is to become a teacher, it is something that he loves to do and he does it well. And I will move into a role of house husband. Taking care of house and home, shopping and taking care of things while he works.

I will do my meetings and keep my end of the sober bargain up. Maybe I will branch out and devote more time to A.A. in some other service oriented way. That has always worked for me in many areas of my life. I am going to be 45 this year. And I will have been living with AIDS for now 18 years.

I never expected to live this long. And I have been biding my time trying to help us out by keeping busy and bringing in some cash to the house over the years and going to university for my degrees. We’ve never set these kinds of goals out before, but hubby will turn 40 this year and he wants to move and shake. So we will move and shake.

This all sounds good on paper. But making it all happen according to plan is the challenge. Because you know what they say, “You make plans and God laughs” and “the best laid plans are just that, best laid plans.” Don’t bank on them coming true.

Hubby seems to be of the belief that his accreditation will pay off in spades which will put us in the position to move and shake. And he wants me to do what makes me happy. He cares more about taking care of me and working, in ways I had never imagined before. The way he spoke the words with such conviction blew my mind. I was having flashbacks of our wedding day, standing there reciting our wedding vows.

Wedding Vows do mean something to me and hubby. That is for sure.

I have accepted my lot in life as it has come happily and without complaint. And all that time, biding my time until the next door opens is just about here. It’s only a matter of time.

It’s a tall order. But I have faith in hubby. And he loves me enough to move up and take the lead and let me do what I do best. Working with others and going to my meetings. And if somewhere – something opens up so be it and if it doesn’t then so be it …

That’s all for now …

Poppy …

Courtesy: A.A. Milne

It was a mixed bag today. A little snow, a little rain, a little more snow, and in the end, the city is covered in a sheet of ice. Roads are sketchy and the only trusted way to travel tonight was by Metro and Bus.

It has been a nice well ordered week. When things go good, you are always grateful for little miracles. It is official now, I have a couple of pigeons.

My very first sponsor used to call his sponsees pigeons because they were dirty and tended to shit on him. I was one of them, long ago. My pigeons are quite clean and tidy. I know at least one of them read here, so “Hello !!!”

Today was quiet. Most of the day I slept in because the weather outside was frightful and I was hoping for my weekly car ride to NDG, but once again, Lizzy wasn’t having any of this weather so I had to hoof it by Metro and Bus.

I left really early because the snow was coming down in buckets and I was concerned with the roads. But I made it out and back in one piece. I got the urns perking and I was alone for set up. It was all good. I am on coffee and set up for the next month, unless of course I can rustle some worthy able bodies to come help.

Our Matriarch made it out to the meeting tonight. She is just an incredible woman with a huge heart of gold. There is much sadness at our meeting and you can’t escape the ravages of disease, illness and growing old. It is just very sad to know people who are fading before our eyes. But we love them all the same and every time we get to sit together for an hour is a blessing. I was missing my friends from the West Island and they braved the highways to make it to the meeting tonight. I was very happy to see them.

*** *** *** ***

Our speaker for the night came by way of the West Island. A young mother from the Squirrel Cage. If you got sober on the West Island, the Squirrel Cage is, at least, one of your meetings. I used to go to that meeting quite often the first year I was getting sober. I don’t know if it is still in that small little room off to the side, I haven’t been there in many years.

Every story is unique. And every person who steps up to the mic takes a chance on the crowd in any given room. We laughed, and cried and laughed again. She told a story about how addiction takes us down the rabbit hole and changes us into people we would not know ourselves. Made us do things that we would not do sober/or on our best days, and end us up at the eventual bottom that we all reach sooner or later.

It was a frightful, winding story that begins in St. John’s and travels to Quebec and as far and wide as Vancouver British Columbia. I can say that in my using days, I did the geographic for love too, several times. That is a common theme in stories. The Geographic.

Along the way, a child was born and carried from one place to another.

The haze of addiction follows her and her son.

Here I am so caught up in the story that I wasn’t paying attention to myself when she said she was expecting a second time the words “OH SHIT” came out of my mouth, you could have heard a pin drop in the room.

And she looked up at me and said … “You got it right, that was my reaction…

“Oh Shit !!!”

Sadly the story takes a grave turn and the child dies and a catatonic haze settled over our speaker. All the promises and hopes disappear. The story doesn’t get better – it only gets worse. How do  you properly mourn when you are stuck in the cycle of addiction and sorrow. Our speaker ends up back here in the city, after a cross country journey, and the benders get worse.

Wrong choices, wrong men, for all the wrong reasons. The lies, the justifications and the failed excuses we all use at one time or another. She ticked off the litany of things we do amid our drinking and drugging.

And I have to say that I felt for her and I identified because I did many of them myself, we’ve all done them. It’s a good thing her first child survived this cross country rampage. The breaking point comes when she wraps her car around a pole and almost kills him amid an angry terrible black out haze. Insanity ensues, cops show up along with fire and rescue. Choice words are said, and a brief but stark period in a jail to sober up, it wasn’t pretty at all.

The Bottom could not come soon enough.

Eventually she made the call to A.A. and One of our members takes the call and says “How can I help you? And she replies … “Um, I think, I may have a problem…” And he directs her to the Squirrel Cage where she has the first of many moments of clarity.

Our speaker was redeemed as we were redeemed tonight. We were all blessed in the telling of this story and to the memory of the child lost amid addiction. I was very proud of her.

Every life is worth their weight in gold. And the loss of life is tragic, and only made worse in the haze of addiction.

And at the end of it all our speaker found a Power Greater than herself. And in finding that God of her understanding, He redeemed her and gave her a gift.

The ability to connect with her daughter in heaven, in a way only a mother can explain. And the words she would imagine her daughter saying to her today:

“That’s my mom ………. “

The Wounded Healer, Henri J.M. Nouwen

Courtesy: Pandora

I did not have anything prepared to write yesterday, hence my lack of posts. In my nightly reading before bed, I came across a reading that strikes me in a certain way so I thought I’d share it with you.

I have been reading Henri J.M. Nouwen’s book “The Wounded Healer” over the past few weeks. You read a little and let it sink in, and then read some more and repeat the process. Last night I read through the last chapter and it spoke to me.

Ministry comes in many forms, how we minister to people and on what level. The book is oriented towards the minister proper, but the themes and stories are universal in my opinion and can work in many an interaction model between any given people.

*** *** *** ***

The Wounded Healer, Henri J.M. Nouwen
Ministry in Contemporary Society

If ministry is meant to hold the promise of the messiah, then whatever we can learn of the Messiah’s coming will give us a deeper understanding of what is called for in ministry today.

How does our Liberator come? i found an old legend in the Talmud which may suggest to us the beginning of an answer:

Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi came upon Elijah the prophet
while he was standing at the entrance of Rabbi Simeron ben Yohai’s cave … He asked Elijah, “When will the Messiah come?”

Elijah replied, “Go and ask him yourself.”
“Where is he?”
“Sitting at the gate of the city.”

“How shall I know him?”

“He is sitting among the poor covered with wounds.
The others unbind all their wounds at the same time and
then bind them up again. But he unbinds one at a time and
binds it up again, saying to himself, ‘Perhaps I shall be
needed: if so I must be ready so as not to delay for a moment.’ “

Hospitality and community

Ministers who have come to terms with their own loneliness and are at home in their own houses are hosts who offer hospitality to their guests. They give them a friendly space, where they may feel free to come and go, to be close and be distant, to rest and to play, to talk and to be silent, to eat and to fast. The paradox indeed is that hospitality asks for the creation of an empty space, where the guests can find their own souls.

Why is this a healing ministry? it is healing because it takes away the false illusion that wholeness can be given by one to another. It is healing because it does not take away the loneliness and the pain of others, but invites them to recognize their loneliness on a level where it can be shared. Many people in this life suffer because they are anxiously searching for the man or woman, the event or encounter, which will take their loneliness away.

But when they enter a house with real hospitality they soon see that their own wounds must be understood, not as source of despair and bitterness, but as signs that they have to travel on in obedience to the calling sounds of those wounds…

… No minister can save anyone. We can only offer ourselves as guides for fearful people. Yet, paradoxically, it is precisely in this guidance that the first signs of hope become visible. This is so because a shared pain is no longer paralyzing, but mobilizing, when it is understood to be a way to liberation.

When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope.

Through this common search, hospitality becomes community. Hospitality becomes community as it creates a unity based upon the shared confession of our basic brokenness and upon a shared hope. This hope in turn leads us far beyond the boundaries of human togetherness to the One who calls all people away from the land of slavery to the land of freedom. It belongs to the central insight of the Judeo-Christian tradition – that it is the call of God that forms the people of God.

*** *** *** ***

I started this chapter with the story of Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi, who asked Elijah, “When will the Messiah come?” There is an important conclusion to this story. When Elijah had explained to him how he could find the Messiah sitting among the poor at the gates of the city, Rabbi Yoshua ben Levi went to the Messiah and said to him:

“Peace unto you, my master and teacher.”
The Messiah answered, “peace unto you, son of Levi.”
He asked, “When is the master coming?”
“Today,” he answered.
Rabbi Yoshua returned to Elijah, who asked,
“What did he tell you?”
“He indeed has deceived me, for he said ‘Today I am
coming’ and he has not come.”
Elijah said, “This is what he told you: ‘Today if you
would listen to his voice. ‘ “

Even when we know that we are called to be wounded healers, it is still very difficult to acknowledge that healing has to take place today, because we are living at a time when our wounds have become all too visible.

Our loneliness and isolation have become so much a part of our daily experience that we cry out for a Liberator who will take us away from our misery and bring us justice and peace.

To announce, however, that the Liberator is sitting among the poor and that the wounds are signs of hope and that today is the day of liberation, is a step very few can take. But this is exactly the announcement of the wounded healer: “The master is coming – not tomorrow, but today, not next year, but this year, not after our misery is passed, but in the middle of it, not in another place but right here, where we are standing.”

And with a challenging confrontation he says:

O that today you would listen to his voice!
Harden not your heart as at Meribah,
as on that day at Massah in the desert
when they tried me, though they saw
my work. (Psalm 95:7)

If indeed we listen to the voice and believe that ministry is a sign of hope because it makes visible the first rays of light of the coming Messiah, we can make ourselves and others understand that we already carry in us the source of our own search.

Thus ministry can be a witness to the living truth that the wound, which causes us to suffer now, will be revealed to us later as the place where God intimated a new creation.

*** *** *** ***

This is who we are called to be …

Come to the Well …

Courtesy: Joshua Uhl Flickr

We are sitting at (1c) at this hour. A little wet, a little damp. The ice has melted here and there and puddles of water are all over the place. It doesn’t know whether it should snow or not. But we’ve had the errant flakes falling here and there. But snow isn’t in the cards until much later in the week.

It was a usual Tuesday as Tuesday’s go. I was out early, and set up was done well before twenty to six so I had a book to read and my tunes playing. It was a better week for many because our bumper crop of women came early to read their books and have some personal fellowship with their sponsors.

We sat 31 folks – a full crowd. All of our women were accounted for. And Dave was in the chair and we read from the pamphlet “Do you think You’re Different?”

It was a story written by an atheist in recovery. And some might say, how can you get sober and do the steps and still remain an Atheist? The discussion went around the room and for an hours time, everybody sat and actively listened to each other share about their concept of a Higher Power.

There were no right answers, nor any wrong answers. One was not better than the next. Each, in their own way, was an intimate look into the lives of 31 people and how they came to believe that a Power Greater than Themselves restored them to sanity.

One of our women spoke so eloquently by saying:

“That if you tried to explain how AA works to someone on the outside, you would fail. But to her, coming to a meeting is like coming to the well and drawing water for yourself. The well is there, always available for anyone at any time.”

A New Comer – fresh out of Rehab had this to say:

On a quantum level, we are all the atom. Everyone present is part of the whole, and by coming together, by combining all of what we bring to the room, we are all God, as one. We make up what is good and what is right. And we come together to share that with others.

Another friend speaks of the two eternal questions that we ask.

1. What is God ?

2. What happens to us when we die ?

Do we really know who God is? Can we quantify God and with certainty speak about God as something that can be known? Is God knowable? The Bible gives us a certain view of God. From the O.T. where God is all powerful and is one to punish and to keep the Jews wandering through the desert for generations. Then we come to the N.T. and God is made flesh in Jesus – the man at the well who comes to forgive and to comfort, to love and to honor.

Where else can you go to hear such passionate words on a topic that is sacred? You may find this kind of discussion in a church group or in a service. But it is a grace, the rooms of AA. You come and you are present. And just because you are present, you get to partake at the well. And you can take as much as you want, because the well never runs dry. And each time you come to the well from the day you have had outside, you are replenished and restored.

Some call it Good Orderly Direction, or another speaks of this Group of Drunks. Whatever you call it is up to you. But if you read the book, and work your steps at some point you will find your own concept of a Power Greater than Yourself.

My sponsors – sponsor has a specific thought about God.

1. There is a God

2. [You] are not it …

It is very easy for us to over complicate this. But let’s keep it simple.

It is not rare that this topic come up in a meeting – in our sacred space. It is well known that we have had some serious meetings where the discussion is intimate and personal. And for many, it is a safe space to come and to recharge. Nobody is going to attack you with a book or with a dogma or a belief system.

But you will hear that once you turn it over to your higher power, things will change. If you just get out of the way, God can make his presence known to you.

I have sat in St. Leon’s for more than 10 years of Tuesday’s. That’s 52 weeks a year times 10 = That’s 520 Tuesday’s worth of time.

When I came to the room, I had a concept of God from my youth. From my time in seminary. But now, in my mid thirties, I returned to University, and I studied Religion and Theology. On top of getting sober – I was studying God and his many incarnations across the many traditions of the world.

I would come to the meeting and I would wait. And others would come to the meeting and they would wait. And you have to be part of a community over a long period of time, coming to the same space, week in – week out, year in – year out. And when you do that you are present to see the miracle occur. I can tell you that God is real. I have seen God move in our little room over the years.

The way the light changes – the way people come, and they keep coming and eventually they “come to” and you see God move in their lives. And so we follow the newcomer. And we share with them and they keep coming back, and some stay and they get sober. And there is no greater grace or joy than to sit in the room and watch God move amongst us on any given day.

But in order to see it, you have to be present…

And this my friends is how the evening went. All is well in the world. We move on to the rest of the week.

Do you need to come to the well ?

*** *** *** ***

I thought I might add this story to the end of this post about the Man at the Well, since it seems one of my PAGES posts on this topic is missing. I am not sure where it went or why, but here is the scriptural reading from the Gospel of John.

John 4:5-29

New International Version (NIV)

So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?  Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

“I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.  The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

The Disciples Rejoin Jesus

Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?”

Scruff …

Courtesy: H.G.I.B.

He is totally sexy !!!

It is a rainy miserable night. We are sitting at ( 4c ). Hubby actually has the windows open at this hour. It is Monday and I had my first Psychology class this evening (earlier). It seems I am the elder in the room once again. AND there are no tables in the classroom, just those god forsaken chairs with mini desks attached. UGH Kill Me Now !!!

I have more lined up to write about tomorrow because it will be Tuesday and there will be more to write about.

*** *** *** ***

I don’t have a topic to write on. Let’s take a look at Plinky !!!

Are you more likely to tell it like it is, or to hold your tongue?

I am more likely to tell it like it is, provided that I am educated on the points I am trying to make. The open mouth, insert foot, ending is too familiar for many people. Too many people spout all kinds of insanity and stupidity.

There are occasions that I need to tell it like it is, then there are times when words are not necessary …

They say that “silence” is the greatest word you can speak.

I have had the opportunity to practice this in recent weeks. We are responsible for the energy we give out and the energy we bring to ourselves. And in recent times I have chosen to walk away from certain groups/people. And I don’t think I need to give an explanation about my “moving away.” I just do it …

However, if an explanation is necessary I can give one.

In my sobriety today, if I don’t like you or agree with you, I will usually just turn and walk away from you and I do that today. I don’t waste words on people that don’t deserve words.

There are times that I will offer counsel to friends, it has come to pass that when I do step in and share, sometimes I am on a totally different page than the people I am speaking to and it takes more words to explain than I initially intended upon using to make a certain point.

Everybody has their journey. And I must respect that. Everybody has their method and we are not usually privy to people’s methods or journeys. Then they share something and you feel you ought to comment.

1. Do you have something good to share ?
2. Will it be useful for their journey?
3. Are you sharing just to hear yourself speak?
I follow a number of people and I know, well, I think I know when the time is right to say words. Sometimes I am off base and sometimes I am right on. And it all depends on what the topic is and whether I have a vested interest in said person to be able to help them.

So it goes … Usually I keep my counsel, in sobriety. I have on the odd occasion to stuff my feelings in opt not to offend, and that has seriously backfired on me, so I have learned not to stuff …

But when it really matters – the words I am speaking – You will know it. Because I will make it acutely plain that I have a message to get across. I just think it is important that if you are going to speak, then you better be able to look at yourself honestly and be able to share from your self honestly to other people, or you will be wasting words on your ego…

I don’t often get asked to speak. Like I did in December. It is far and few between the opportunities to speak here in the city.

My Blog is my vehicle that I use to speak words. I may not make sense here or there, but for the most part I am educated on what I am speaking about.

I try to say good words. And be supportive and expressive.

In most cases, it is better to hold your tongue, unless it is necessary for you to speak words …Because we know what happens when some try to use words, and they end up utter failures at that …

Because you don’t want to end up, “Opening mouth and inserting feet!!!”

Time, Temptation, Tolerance …

Courtesy: NiqBailey

It is a bitter (-18c / -24 w.c. ) outside. Roads and sidewalks are covered in ice and driving around is a little slower than usual. It was a good night.

Thanks to the availability of Omnivox the Lea Classroom, we got our syllabuses online and therefor with that came our book lists for term. And yesterday morning I was up with the birdies so I decided to go and shop my books. And I was expecting oodles of day students waiting in line for the bookstore, but blessedly nobody was in line at 8:15 in the morning.

I got in and out in a matter of minutes because there were some people waiting to help us. The good thing about shopping early in term is that used books are still on the shelves. I picked up two used textbooks there were not all marked up and bent out of shape. Which saved me an oodle of money. The psych text looks like a fashion magazine with a glossy photo filled cover, it must have been well read and the other text I got used was my Oxford Canadian Atlas for Geography. It was in pristine shape. The Geography text was the only new text I had to buy. And in the end the total purchase was $170.00 … I saved about 45% on used books.

I have high hopes for Geography. I talked to a friend of mine the other day who lives in Alberta and he agreed that it sounded interesting on the whole. He told me that it was (-50c) outside and that water was freezing on contact, quite scary !!!

*** *** *** ***

It is Friday. And I was up early in the day, hubby was at school taking care of business with his contracts and work. I did some farting around on the web and then I decided to go back to bed, since there was nothing on tap for the afternoon.

I was up and ready to go by 7 tonight, and Lizzy came to get me about 7:30 and we headed for the church. Set up was quick and painless and a good number of people showed up for the meeting. I really love the women in our group. I hung out in the kitchen with a friend who had made sandwiches for after the meeting and we chatted and had a good time.

We were missing our Matriarch again this week. She hasn’t been feeling well as of late and we wish her a speedy recovery. **If you read this, we missed you **

Our speaker was well spoken. The chair called him enthusiastic… and that he was. From the beginning of his share he kept mentioning 11 months ago …

So one would think that he was only a little over a year sober. And you would be correct. But he had a total of more than 10 years in, 10 years out, and a recent return to the rooms.

I found it interesting that he said that in year one, you hear How it Works and everything seems new and bright. In year two you hear How it Works and it goes in one ear and may stick, you hear How it works in year three and you begin to grit your teeth, and then in year four you tend to tune How it Works out…

It seemed that sobriety had lost its priority. S – L – I – P …

What was once exciting and new became rote and boring. The meaning behind the words was lost. And coming to a meeting became a chore and not a necessity. And our speaker began to float away, drifting into old places and old behaviors. And what did he do ??? He picked up a glass of wine, then he picked up another and then he found himself the life of the party in a local town bar.

And he began to lie, cheat, and he pissed away what he once had and if nobody knew he was drinking so much the better. But eventually the lies catch up to us, one way or another, they always do. And in the end secrets and lies did him in with his family. And he had to tell the truth.

And so he returned to the rooms, a little more grateful and a lot more attentive. We are only as sick as our secrets. And you never know who is within earshot of you at any give time in your life. And you can only sneak around so much before you get called out.

It was a great share. It made me conscious of my sobriety. And how I need to make meetings and do service and give back, because if we keep it we eventually loose it. We have to constantly give it back and away.

I tell my sponsees and my friends that you have to be part of your sobriety. You’ve done your steps and you know how they work. That you go to meetings early and you listen attentively and at the end of the meeting, if you have something to share with another – you do that. You stay after and you mingle.

Work your steps during your day. You pray and you meditate. If you have something bothering you write it down, call someone, or me if you need to. Do your daily meeting, and at the end of the day you do your daily review and say your nightly prayers. Make use of all these little pieces of wisdom.

I hear it from people here and there. But people are not often heard sharing pearls of wisdom unless you sit them down and are prepared to listen. So I have this collection of pearls I have collected over the years and I make use of them myself and now I share them with my sponsees.

A good night was had by all. We had an 8 year cake at the end and lots of good sandwiches and cake and coffee. Friday nights are always exciting.

What pearls of wisdom can you share with us about life ???

More to come, stay tuned …

Neil Patrick Harris Covers ‘Out’ With His Love Story

Lifted from: DanNation.Org

“There’s something kinetic about him and his being. He’s classically sexy, yet he’s very much a boy in his energy. It’s a great dynamic. When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David’s the antithesis of that. He’s more like Tigger. I’m, in turn, very introspective — the thinker, rather than the doer. I tend to weigh options before making decisions, and David is the polar opposite of that. We’re hyper similar and also incredibly opposite. We share a wardrobe. We have the same shoe size, body size, height, and weight. We’re both Gemini. We both like the idea of family — not a nuclear family, but a social family. Yet, we’re incredibly opposite in the way we process information.”

Neil Patrick Harris on partner David Burtka, in Out magazine.

I love this piece. Hubby and I are very similar. I will have to get a copy of this.

A Blip on the Radar !!!

Courtesy: Rawrdaniel

A couple of weeks ago,  more like last week I am reminded now, We dropped labs for this round of check ups coming the beginning of February. And I know that if they don’t call me before my appointment that all is well. That didn’t happen this time around. Yesterday the clinic called and their panties were all in a wad … or more like it, my doctor had his panties in a wad over a spiking number on my kidney function numbers.

Something was off. They told me I needed to come to the clinic right away to get retested and so last night I went to bed at midnight because I had a 7:50 am wake up call and one of my friends drove me up to the clinic this morning at 08:15 am.

They took my labs and walked them up to the lab and they told me that I would have to wait to see them back. I wasn’t waiting there for three hours. My friend came back and picked me up and we went to a coffee shop in NDG owned by a member and we had coffee and conversation while we waited for the labs to come back.

Now you know what STAT means right ??? RIGHT the FUCKING NOW !!!

I finally got word from the clinic around 11:20 while we were at the coffee shop that the numbers were back in normal territory and not to worry. That they would call me later on this afternoon to give me the rest of the update because the lab was running so far behind. So much for a fucking STAT order …

Last night I ruminated for hours in bed trying to figure out what could be causing this numerical spike because kidney function is not something that blips on the radar very often if ever so I knew that something was off, but you live this long and you wait for the other shoe to drop.

One of my doctors once told me that HIV would not kill me that something else would. And this would have been one occasion that I entertained that thought waiting for an odd ball lab result to correct itself.

I tell you, the older my doc gets the freakier and touchier he gets when dealing with my labs, since I am one of his star patients. He has to keep me alive to live another year to make sure the meds he is using still work.

All’s well that ends well.

I got to spend some quality time with a friend and he was gracious in sitting with me while I waited for news. So thank you. I know you are going to read this.

I am grateful for you.

Until later tonight …

Doorways …

Courtesy: Stormyspics

What a messy day it has been. First a little snow, that fell all day into the night. It was snowing when I left for the church and I was covered in snow by the time I got there. I had to make a few stops on the way at the mall on the way.

Numbers tend to fluctuate when the weather is dicey. Weather is the biggest excuse we hear when numbers are low. Oh, it’s too hot and I walked by a terrace and I had to stop. or Oh, it is too cold and snowing that I could not make it…

I bet you went to any length to get a drink in the winter.

BUT, I cranked out set up and had plenty of time to relax before the meeting, I was hoping to see my groupies show up early to read their books, but no one came. We were missing a good number of people. On the flip side, we had good numbers. We sat 25 around the circle. A number of old timers came to see my sponsor take his 22 year cake. The room was full of experience, strength and hope.

We had some newbies there for their first meeting. And we shared on a story from the back of the 4th Edition … “Me an alcoholic???” Lots of identifying, and the whole circle got in to share.

We are up another member tonight. And we had two milestones. One member took his 6 month chip from me and he asked me to temp sponsor him. And secondly my sponsor took his 22 year cake. He is an amazing man. He is unassuming and quiet. He doesn’t bang you with the book, but he gives sound and sane advice. That’s why people respect him so much as I do. He’s never given me a bad bit of advice and he has helped me through some serious events in my sobriety.

Since our group is growing so big, we began to offer temporary sponsorship to our guests. We used to do that many years ago, but that kind of died, and has been revived since our group is growing and we have a bumper crop of newbies in the hall each week.

School starts tomorrow night… UGH !! Kill me now !!! Hopefully this choice of Geography will be a hit and not a miss. I hope the experience will be of use and not a waste of time. I have psychology on Monday nights. This is just something to keep me busy and out of the house for a few hours each week.

The snow turned to rain as the meeting began. And it is cold, so there was a solid layer of ice on the van windows when we left to come home, so we had to scrape windows before we set off. And it is supposed to rain into the night. UGH !!!

Not much else to report here. More to come, stay tuned…

I just want to be happy …


Two posts in one night, not unheard of, but still …3 a.m. Thought bubble.

It was an Oprah kind of night. And tonight’s Master Class was Goldie Hawn. I really enjoy these little Master Classes, because I can watch them and really identify and utilize some of the things they speak about.

Her first words … I just want to be happy, was a goal. It was something she wanted to do. It was all very ideal and perfect, then life happened.

I wanted all those ideal things too. A family, 2.5 children, a home, a dog or two and the ideal life. All those things you learned in Home Economics about the American Dream. I thought my parents had it. And they did have it.

And when I grew up, I thought that I would have it too. Then life happened. I went where the wind took me and I ended up here. And I was ready to start building. I think I needed a little more time to mature, that’s why it took me so long to figure out that I wanted to be happy. It is a very simple recipe. But it didn’t happen until I was well into my 30’s to figure it out.

And now I am in my 40’s and I think I am relatively happy. There is nothing that I don’t need. I am content with what I have today and I need nothing more. I live my life, I do what I can, I serve my community and my marriage. And everything comes back full circle. Because it is in giving that we receive. The road map came courtesy of the program…

Throughout her storytelling she spoke about a road map, and what she learned from her father. To be grounded in life. Not to get too big for your britches… And if you think you are going there, to be reminded that you are here in this moment. and that’s what life is “a series of moments” strung together, and one moment is not more important than the next.

Awards and accolades are nice to get. But they are in but a moment of time. She spoke of not living off the award or accolade, but living true to ones self. Living in the moment. Savoring each moment.

I learned some things from my father as well. He was a good teacher on a good day and he did share somethings along the way. I learned how to take care of a home from the inside out. How to make an honest dollar, and he was the man of the house and there was no other to learn from but him.

He was a man of his times. And not much growth came of that time. He was set in his ways and that was that and that’s how he remained for the rest of my life. Nothing new under the sun.

But what defines us? What makes us “US?”

I am who I am because of my morals, and my integrity. I am me because of what I have learned in this life, and what I have to give back. All the lessons I have learned in as many years are evident in the way I speak to others, how I treat them and how I treat my husband in my own marriage.

There are a multitude of people who have taught me about myself. Years of self education and reeducation came at a high cost. We are all works in progress.

What do I know about myself ? I know a lot.

Goldie says that there is a gift in growing older … There is a surprise…

When we grow older, the surprise is what we still have to contribute to the world around us. As long as we are living and breathing we have the opportunity to give back to the world something we have been given.

And that is the SURPRISE !!!

That we can give back, until that time we decide to stop. And we expire.

We may not all be young and perky but we are older adults who now have an opportunity to give back the gifts that were given and taught to us in our lives, because there are plenty of people out there who need to hear what we have to say. Because everyone has something special to say. We all have that gift, our life. And life is not to be taken for granted. In every life there comes a time when we have reached a point that we are ready to put it all out there.

We do that in the program. We give what was freely given to us. We serve, we speak, we thank, and we serve some more. Service is a never ending process.

Who are you ? What makes you “YOU ?”

And what do you have to give back ??? Ok, then go and do it …

Sunday Gifts …

Courtesy: Rawrdaniel

It is a very cold night. And it has been frigidly cold over the past few days since the snow fell on Friday. The temps plummeted on Saturday and they are still in negative territory. We are sitting at (-17c / -25c w.c.) … brrrrr…

It seems that another snow event is in the works for later in the week. And this has been confirmed by CTV weather.

It has been a hit and miss weekend. It is the last weekend before classes begin this week. It will be psychology and geography this term. There wasn’t much to choose from the menu of classes that were offered this term. It is year two so choices are slim.

I want to give a shout out to all my new subscribers. Welcome to you all and I hope that you enjoy these little witty posts and insights into my life. There is a wealth of information for you to dine on. Years of posts, the calendar year 2011 saw 26,000 hits to the blog. One of my friends who is a professional writer got over 95,000 hits over the past year. I can aim and dream can’t I?

You will find the archives of all my posts over on the sidebar. I am heading towards the 3,000 post mark. If you want to read the most important pieces of writing I have done, check out the PAGES over on the sidebar as well. If it was important and a critical piece of writing it is on that list over on the right.

You can search by category, topic and date. That should keep you busy for days and days. As a blog is a work in progress, I write several times during the week, and once classes begin, I will add to that weekly quota.

I always welcome feedback and your insights as well. I love to write for my readers and if you have something that you would like me to write on, please feel free to contact me via email or leave a comment on the blog here, and I will respond. At tonight’s writing there are 34 blog subscribers and 5 email subscribers. For most of you who have a blog who follow here, I do follow you back, or in some cases, like Chaz, we have been reading each other for a long time now.

It is good to hear from my readers. I got a phone call from a reader this evening as I was sitting in front of the tube watching the Golden Globes. It seems he is enjoying this endeavor of my writing. It is as I have said, a work in progress.

Oh, yeah, what was it I was going to write about tonight…

I got a present from Word Press today. I was so surprised !!! I have a second blog that is private and by invitation only. It is the blog that I used before opening this one, so all of the information is the same. But anyways, what was I saying, ah yes, the gift … I got a 5 mb space upgrade for my image files.

All for free … I didn’t have to pay for it. So thank you Word Press.

I could use a space upgrade for this blog as well. I still have plenty of upgrade space still to use. I just renewed this domain for another year. So we are good to go until May 2013.

It has been a regular Sunday night. Yes we watched the Golden Globes. No I haven’t seen many of the movies – movies are expensive. A movie date for two with frills costs more than $40.00. So we don’t often go to the movies …

We’ll see how many Globe winners go on to win the Oscar !!!

I’m in touch, so you be in touch. Welcome aboard …

Friday snow day …

Courtesy: Flickr Janekrat

We are sitting at (-6c) at this hour, as Montreal begins to dig out from more than a foot of snow that fell throughout the day today. It has been a dicey day on the roads for many trying to get around amid a blowing snow storm, this was the first really big snow event of the season. We’ve had little snow here and there but nothing that dumped this much snow on the city.

We have spent the better part of two days scrubbing and cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. A few days ago, our next door neighbor found bed bugs in clothing in their apartment, and reported that to the office which then led to a mandatory cleaning/scrubbing/fumigation effort on three floors, the one  above, ours and the one below.

The apartment hasn’t had this level of cleaning in a while. We were up first thing this morning and waited for the men to come and do the deed. They came this morning and doused the apartment in poison spray. They doused the mattress top and bottom, and even the bed frame. They took it all apart and made sure they covered all the bases. They sprayed all the rooms and went from apartment to apartment. And in the end the apartment across the hall from us, showed a positive infestation of bed bugs, and since he did not prep for the spraying, he will be charged for the team that came in and cleansed his apartment.

We do not know how the bugs got into the building. If they came in via the mattress delivery team that dropped a mattress next door a couple of weeks ago, nor do we know how long our other neighbor has been harboring the little beasts.

But we haven’t seen a bug in our apartment in forever. So they did not have to douse all of the furniture.

We did a comprehensive laundry day washing all the bed linens and towels from the bathroom. We had to wait four hours before we could remake the bed and set it back in place, because it was all in pieces after the spray.

I only got a few hours of sleep last night, and with the excitement of the day, I did not get to take a nap until almost 4, and I had to be out of the house at 6:30 to take the train/bus out to the meeting because Lizzy decided not to brave the roads, as did many tonight, we only had a 35 person head count for the meeting tonight.

I got to the church around 7:15 and got the urns perking and set up the chairs, I set them all out because people usually sit in the same seats week in and week out. It was a good meeting. The artist spoke and I got to thank him.

We cleaned up the hall and a friend gave me a ride home instead of taking the train back into downtown. At first he was going to drop me at the metro and because we were chatting in the car, he drove past the stop and decided to take me all the way here.

The plows are all out working through the night cleaning up the snow that fell today. It is quite beautiful out. It snowed all throughout the set up/meeting. And when we left the hall the plow was clearing the church of the snow that had piled up.

A good night was had by all.

Only the brave and die hard members showed up tonight. It was good to get to a meeting and to have the space open for our folk tonight.

Time for din din. The news is on and I am pooped …

Goodnight from Montreal.


We want a Canadian Divorce please !!! Update 13Jan12

Courtesy: Flickr 21lau_z

What a bru-ha-ha it has been today.

Are you married or are you not? Does Canada acknowledge your marriage as legal and binding if you live elsewhere other than in Canada? Did the government nullify more than 15,000 gay marriages that have been performed in Canada since the law went into effect in 2004? The Government says it isn’t opening the marriage debate again, but what is it going to do with you all who want divorces???

This story is still evolving. From CTV News:

Sonja Puzic, CTVNews.ca

Date: Thu. Jan. 12 2012 11:30 PM ET

The federal government is considering changes to the law that will make it easier for foreign same-sex couples who married in Canada to obtain divorces, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said Thursday.

Nicholson also stressed the government has no intention of reopening the same-sex marriage debate after a day of confusion over the validity of marriage licences issued in Canada to same-sex couples from abroad.

Ottawa was pressed to clarify its position on gay marriage after an apparent about-face on the issue surfaced in a Toronto divorce case.

A lesbian couple who married in Canada seven years ago and recently filed for divorce was told by a Department of Justice lawyer that their marriage was not legal.

The stated reason was that because the partners live in Florida and England, where same-sex marriage remains illegal, their Canadian union was invalid too.

The case threw into question thousands of marriages non-residents entered into since 2004, when same-sex marriage became legal in Canada under a Liberal government.

In a statement, Nicholson said the issue centres on dissolution of marriages performed in Canada.

Non-resident couples who marry here must live in Canada for one year before they can legally divorce. The lesbian couple at the centre of the controversy has launched a constitutional challenge of that provision in the Ontario Superior Court of Justice.

Nicholson said he will be “looking at options to clarify the law so that marriages performed in Canada can be undone in Canada.”

In an interview with CTV’s Power Play, Nicholson’s parliamentary secretary Kerry-Lynne Findlay said the Canadian marriages of non-resident same-sex couples are legal in Canada.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper had little to say Thursday other than relate his government’s reluctance to wade back into a same-sex marriage debate.

“We have no intention further of opening or reopening this issue,” Harper told reporters gathered for a shipbuilding agreement announcement in Halifax.

“This, I gather, is a case before the courts where Canadian lawyers have taken particular positions based on the law. But I will be asking officials to provide me more details with this particular case.”

Opposition parties and critics quickly weighed in on the issue, accusing the prime minister of trying to rewrite Canada’s same-sex marriage laws “in stealth.”

In a statement, Egale Canada, a human rights organization advocating equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities, called the apparent flip-flop “a direct insult to gays and lesbians both in Canada and abroad.”

If the federal lawyer’s arguments in the Toronto divorce case are a misunderstanding, Harper should make that clear, NDP MP Olivia Chow said.

With files from Kieron Lang and The Canadian Press

We shall see where this story goes. It was all over the news tonight. All those people came to Canada to get married and have that joyous moment in their lives. And now I fear that we are beginning to see just how long those marriages lasted, as this is probably not the last divorce case we will see come from abroad.

I mused earlier that you came all this way to get married, and you spent all that money on that day. And now you want a divorce. What to do??? They say in gay circles that lesbians mate for life. I guess that’s not really true any more.

I guess you all got caught up in the woo hoo about being able to get married so you came here and cashed in your relationship chips for a marriage license.

From Wiki:

Six state governments (along with the District of Columbia, the Coquille Indian Tribe, and the Suquamish tribe) have passed laws offering same-sex marriage: New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire. In all six states, same-sex marriage has been legalized through legislation or court ruling. Same-sex marriage has been legal in Massachusetts since May 17, 2004; in Connecticut since November 12, 2008;[13] in Iowa since April 27, 2009; in Vermont since September 1, 2009; New Hampshire since January 1, 2010; and New York since July 24, 2011.In 2009, New England became the center of an organized push to legalize same-sex marriage, with four of the six states in that region granting same-sex couples the legal right to marry.

And now couples are starting to figure out that they really don’t want to be married any more. And we could speculate on just what the reasons are that a couple would want a dissolution of marriage.

As good gays and lesbians we are supposed to show up the heterosexuals and prove to them that we can marry and stay together longer and truer than our straight counterparts.

Marriage in celebrity circles has become a mockery and a joke. What have they done to the institution of marriage for all of us ???

This whole push to legalize gay marriage nationwide in the United States is going to come up eventually in the campaign race. They just haven’t gotten around to it yet, but rest assured those Christians who want to see us damned are going to make sure their chosen candidate does all he can to stop gay marriage from being passed across the rest of the 44 states.

Why did you come here and get married then gone home with that little piece of paper, that got all dusty and forsaken. And now you want a divorce. What a waste. It is very sad to see couples separate for any reason. I just hope it was a good reason and not something stupid like, “oh well, we thought we’d get in on the excitement and really when we came to think about it, we really did not want to abide by our wedding vows, till death do us part …”

So now we want a Canadian divorce because we got a made in Canada marriage.

I Don’t think Canada prepared for this contingency in hindsight.

*** *** *** ***

Ottawa will change law so same sex marriages are valid: Nicholson. 

By The Canadian Press | The Canadian Press
 13 January 2012

TORONTO – The federal justice minister says the government will change the law to ensure gay couples from abroad who marry in Canada will have their unions recognized here.

Rob Nicholson says it’s the government’s view that these marriages “should be valid.”

“We will change the Civil Marriage Act so that any marriages performed in Canada that aren’t recognized in the couple’s home jurisdiction will be recognized in Canada,” Nicholson said Friday during a speech to the Canadian Club of Toronto.

Doubts were raised about the validity of thousands of marriages conducted in Canada for same-sex couples from the United States and elsewhere following a federal twist in a Charter of Rights case launched in Ontario by two foreign women seeking a divorce.

A legal brief filed by federal lawyers denies the women are even legally married.

Critics accused Stephen Harper’s Conservative government of seeking to rewrite the rules on gay marriage to suit its right-wing agenda.

In announcing the government would change the law, Nicholson said Friday that “the confusion and pain resulting from this gap … is completely unfair to those affected.”

Liberal Leader Bob Rae, speaking to reporters at the party’s policy convention in Ottawa, responded to Nicholson by lamenting, “Oh please, give me a break.”

“These guys specialize in trying to turn the tables,” Rae said of the Harper Conservatives.

“The only gap is the gap between the heads of Conservative cabinet ministers who have failed to live up the best and finest traditions of Canada with respect to our positions of tolerance,” Rae added.

The couple seeking a divorce, identified in court records only by initials to protect their privacy, were married in Toronto in December 2005 and separated two years ago. One lives in Clearwater, Fla., the other in London, England.

Their marriage is not recognized either in Florida or the United Kingdom. As a result, they are unable to obtain a divorce in their home cities.

The couple also faced a barrier to divorce in Ontario — a requirement that at least one of them live in the province for a year or more. They have launched a constitutional challenge of that provision in the Ontario Superior Court of Justice.