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Sunday Sundries – Choke Edition !!!



And it rained today …

It was a very frightful weekend. After spending all day in the hospital on Friday, I came home and napped before the evening meeting. When it came for bed time, I stood in front of the kitchen sink to take my pills, and as I slugged them back with milk, that odd “once in a blue moon” occasion happened.

I took a breath as my largest pills went down my throat. And I started choking.

Usually, I clear up quickly, but not this time.

I was on my hands and knees trying to dislodge the stuck pills to no avail.

Hubby got involved, hugging, banging and trying to force the pills out of my throat, to no avail. I was still choking.

I was going to die by pill – in no uncertain terms. I couldn’t breathe. Minutes passed and we should have called emergency, but I said no. I was still choking. And pounding myself against the sink and collapsed on the floor in the kitchen.

But for one moment of grace … I spit the pill up by some stroke of luck. I could have died on my kitchen floor.

Needless to say I am a bit wary of taking pills now. I’ve resorted to the one at a time method, instead of throwing them back from a pepto cuppy.

Since the pills were stuck in my throat, my voice is a bit wrangled. And even today my voice is still fucked up. At the Sunday meeting folks thought I was sick or something, but once I tell the choking story, I get the same response.

You should have called an ambulance …

*** *** *** ***

Today was another regular Sunday. And the chair looked back in the history to see when we started reading the Big Book, which we began in October of last year. Today we began reading the Family Afterward, Chapter 9. In nine months we have only read 129 pages. And we still have a ways to go.

It is Father’s Day. Everybody is celebrating the Dad. Whereas, I rarely think about mine. Because I imagine that he rarely thinks about me. So we are even.

Every day I read from the book, he is there, just beneath the surface.

I kind of feel sorry for him. He made his choices and stood his stances on life, homosexuality and family. I was outside those stances, so fuck me.

I wonder if he ever thinks about the man I have become and what I have done with my life? Does it ever cross his mind? I am sure it has.

But let’s not wax nostalgic …

If he wanted to know me he has every opportunity to find me.

It was a grey day and wet.

We sat a handful of folks, some were missing from our usual count.

It was a good day in any case.

More to come, stay tuned…


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