Friday A.B.S.I. The Wine of Success
The weather has definitely turned. It is fall. Cool enough outside to warrant sleeves and hoodies. It was a “Perfect Transit Night.” I was traveling by myself tonight and I departed on time and made two trains one after the other and my bus on the far end. And on the way back, the transit was tight and quick.
I arrived in time to help set up and hang out before the meeting. We sat a full house. Lots of familiar faces. Once again reading from A.B.S.I. and The Wine Of Success, the reading warns us of the coming on of “Big-shot-ism” once we gain some time in sobriety.
“As an insurance against the dangers of big-shot-ism, we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far more His success than ours.”
Sobriety having had it twice has given me certain insight and hindsight. That lessons I learned the first time around have repeated themselves, the second time around. I was a lucky one the first time around to learn the lesson about ego and being a big shot.
I had a job I loved working for a man I loved, and would do anything for him seeing he invested so much time in making sure I would live. My job was a service position, serving others, even when I was not feeling it myself.
The needs of the bar, at the time, while I was in the building came first, and anything I thought I needed came second. I did not have time to obsess over myself while at work and in the end, that saved my ass.
I knew my place. And it was a good place. Serving others is a very humbling lesson. I learned that I am no better than the next man, and really, the life I was living was one of service and gratitude, I had more than most. And I was a lucky one.
When I got sober the second time, I stood at the crossroads of life. I was either going to grow up, or self destruct. I chose the first, rather than the latter.
I built my life around meetings. And I did service. Lots of service. I watched similar sober folks rise, get sober, become a big shot and fall from grace.
It was not pretty.
The minute I think that I am better than someone else, I just need to readjust my view and remember where I came from and just how easily I could end up back there.
Certain men arrived in my life at crucial times who taught me those things I needed to learn to become a man. And once again, in marriage, putting the needs of another human being before your own, AND getting sober at the same time was a challenge. But it was the best lesson I have ever learned and it was then that I knew that I had arrived.
There were no medals or accolades for serving another human being. But the self esteem that comes with doing something really well and earning the trust and respect of your partner – come – husband.
My reward of these lessons was our wedding.
Life has been a long lesson in humility. Life without gratitude is a waste.
I must decrease so that He may increase.
Each day is a gift. Each friendship is a bonus. Having people I know, love and trust is the ultimate gift in sobriety. Being a humble servant is priceless…
A good night was had by all.
More to come, stay tuned …