Electricity … Dependence and Independence
It was a great sunny day today. I was blinded, while sitting on my balcony earlier today. It has also been on the cool side, we will see single digits tonight, overnight.
I departed early for Trinity to make coffee and set up. Tonight was our last meeting at Trinity, and next week, Oct 01 – our new home will be Notre Dame de Grace Church in NDG.
Several issues came up since our last meeting, as to being dependent on a stranger to make sure that the door is open when we get there, and secondly, we need more than 30 minutes for our large urn to perk a pot of coffee. The church was hesitant to issue us our own key, but they don’t require rent from us but a humble donation on a monthly basis.
But I brought this up to our head member of the group tonight, that we should not be dependent on a total stranger to have a meeting, and that we should be free to come when we need to open and therefore, be given our own key to the church. And we should have the new key for next week.
We can’t depend on someone (outside) the program with winter coming and the possibility of them not showing up for some odd reason, and thereby keeping us from our regular schedule. A small pain in the ass…
We sat a full table tonight. Which was a good showing. We had a couple of chip takers at the end, as we are a beginners meeting we hand out 3,6,and 9 month chips along with the desire chip.
I was in the chair tonight and read from A.B.S.I.
“True Independence of the Spirit.”
“… Though we really accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principle when asked to apply it as a means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly, we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours.”
12 x 12 pg. 36
This passage, in its entirety, taken from the 12 and 12, written by Bill, is another passage where Bill uses science to make a point. Here, the passage refers to electricity, it is there, in every house, wired to do what it is supposed to do, and we rely and are dependent on it to exist without issue. And we really take for granted that it is there, but it lights up our lives.
The passage then touches on spiritual practice and the dependence we should cultivate on our higher powers. There is that word again … GOD …
One of my friends brought up Bill’s problematic issue with all things “faith.” With all the people Bill had in his inner circle, men, women, a priest and a good God fearing nun (Sister Ignatia) Bill still battled with faith.
Yet he cleverly came up with the spiritual loop hole he calls God
” As We Understand Him…”
For those who cannot make peace with God, there is your out. Whoever he/she/it is – call it what you like.
When it came time for me to share, I picked up at “God as we understand him.” And went on to say that when we are children, (read: When I was a child) I was birthed into a family of faith and church.
Children and infants are closer to God in the first years of life, because from the time we are born into the world, we come from God, and we grow up. But in growing up we grow apart from God into the world, and we become tainted.
God was a constant thread throughout my life. And when I kept to him, and to His will I was in good shape. I went to church and worshiped God accordingly. And at one point, my presence in church (read: when I was very sick) was mandated for my personal well being and the continuing practice of my faith among a community who would pray with me. (Thanks to Father Jeff on that one).
So. where am I going with this …
God was the constant. and I was / am the variable.
When I take back my will and step off the path, i.e. when I drank and drugged and stepped off the path from God, my life usually ends up in the shitter.
And as we grow up into adulthood, we either knew God once, or will eventually find him in the rooms. Most people are born into some system of faith. But that may change as life takes its toll.
For the addicted and the recovering, finding the power Greater than Ourselves is a challenge. A fair number of people I know in the rooms know God, it is only a handful of folks who ( I have said before) wouldn’t know God, if he came down from heaven and stood before them … They are just blind to Him.
Recovery, it came to me tonight, is cyclical.
The books, we read them every which way from Sunday. The Big Book, As Bill Sees It, the Twelve and Twelve, Daily Reflections, etc …
We come across the same passages over and over. Because we need the repetition to make it sink in … Every time we read from the book, the issues we all have in our heads come up.
This runs on the “polishing the gem” theory I have spoken about before.
We do not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.
We read, we hear each other, and we hear ourselves. Our own personal issues come up over and over again. They never really go away, its just that the sting of the past goes away over time, and our history becomes our greatest gift in sobriety. Because we learn to “LEARN” from the past.
The same can go for “God as we understand him.”
Every day we go to meetings, we get to either read, share or listen. Or all three depending on the meeting you go to. And as we listen to others “Come To” and find God, we hear them speak of God. And at the same time, we learn about our own concept of God.
And like each issue (read: gemstone) and the understanding of God, (read: faith) when they all come up, the gem gets polished, and our faith grows. One hand washes the other. They go hand in hand.
The longer I stay in God’s good graces, the better my life becomes.
As we get sober, we learn about gratitude. A state of “Thankfulness.” Something we should practice every day.
All that I have came from God and the rooms. All the good things, all the good friends, all the love, comes from God.
I have air in my lungs and I an still alive, which proves to me that God exists. I should be dead already, But God is not done with me yet.
Like the electricity that runs in our homes, so the power of God runs through our lives. Whether we believe it or not! What made you, Why are you here, and What is your purpose?
The ethereal questions that we all ask …
Come and follow.
A good night was had by all.
More to come, stay tuned …