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Sunday Sundries … Footprint – Working on Sunday

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The weekend is almost over. And the extra hour of time last night afforded us an extra hour of overnight radio, of which I wasn’t really paying attention to when I hit the bed.

When hubby went to bed, he didn’t turn the clocks in the bedroom back, so it was almost three when I came in and had to fiddle with the two alarm clocks that we use, one for him, and one for me.

It was dark at 4:46 p.m. and it was pitch black outside soon after. This winter ritual of darkness in the middle of the afternoon, and waking up early in the morning to darkness is a little off putting. I heard some of my friends tonight talking about that “transition” into Winter, that it usually takes a couple of weeks to work out. Then the push for winter and the holidays.

Speaking of holidays, hubby tells me that Christmas decorations are up, just down the street at Jean Coutu. I had to stop at Pharmaprix on the way out and they have their decorations and Christmas cards already out. The all purpose aisle that is basically used for all the sorted events and holiday was full up.

Workmen are at the mall at this hour, spackling and painting and building up a storm tonight. This must be the final push to the Big Reveal. The tiles in front of Target, I noticed tonight have been cleaned and I also noted that someone (stupid) has already “tagged” one of the work walls on the ground floor.

Fucking Graffiti bastards.

They have entirely shifted the footprint of the tunnel access to the Metro station. Now on both sides of the approach there is new store frontage they must have built and tiled the new staircase in haste over the past couple of days since it was ramshackle and unfinished. There is one main staircase in the middle of the passageway. The far access tunnel to the station is officially closed down until they finish the rebuild on that side, which leaves one access to and from the station. And it is a nightmare during rush hour with only one passageway, and one access point coming and going.

There is new store frontage on the main floor next to IGA is a brand new florist, and they did an excellent job on that rebuild. There is a magazine shop and a third storefront that is unnamed, but it is finished.

They still need to tile a great deal of floor on the main level and Spackle and pain the ceiling in a good portion of the new build. The entrance way ceiling is still unfinished.

The mall is changing by the day, it will be interesting to see just how the final footprint will be at the Reveal.

I arrived at the church a bit early because I left at 4:30 to run errands on the way and cranked out set up. Since it was only me tonight, it took a bit longer than usual. We sat a fair gathering and read from the Big Book and Jim’s Story.

He was a founder and one of the first black men to enter the program in the late 1930’s. Lots of identifying and understanding the slow “back slide, or more like it forward slide” into alcoholism.

The buzzwords such as abuse, blackout, just can’t have one, bottle hiding and placing the blame on others … popped out for me.

As I was thinking, I immediately thought that this story was better understood in the location of family, of the 1960’s through till now. In the story his wife brings up the problem and seeks a solution, in my days, the women of the family would have rather died than say anything about the men’s drinking problems.

We just Never Ever talked about it or made as issue out of it. It was understood as a necessary evil and that was “just our LOT !”

The bottle hiding took place in my grandparents house. And abuse took place in every house of the active alcoholic. I knew what was going on, and like one of my friends said tonight that …

“If you are a child of an alcoholic you either take one or the other path, One, you become an alcoholic yourself, or Two, you build an aversion to alcohol.

It was right in my face. I should have known better. Alas, I did not.

Here is where I muse about the Should’ves Could’ves and Would’ves.

Alcoholism is cunning. It is patient and if you get caught, it just devours you.

I’m glad I am sober today.

One of our guests who came tonight, who I’ve known since I got sober twelve years ago, almost, is back for another kick at the can. it amazes me to watch people I know get stuck in the proverbial Revolving Door.

You know the one that says … “aw, I’ll just have one …” or “Aw, nobody will know!”

This is this seasonal disorder.

In the winter folks come in and get sober. They stay sober till the spring. Then on the first good day when the terraces open, the desire to drink that first tall, cold beer takes hold, and they drink.

Then ensues insanity of trying to put it down AGAIN, once after picking it up.

I know a handful of people who can’t stay sober over the seasonal change.

Oh, but they say, it is time to get honest … Yeah really !

Honestly, you need to step up your game. Plain and simple.

Some of our women are so sunk in the book and sponsees, they call it being “sandwiched” that keeps the good lot of them sober. And some women are stuck on the outside looking in. They just don’t get it like others.

Which begs the question …

“Are we really doing enough for those stuck on the fringes???”

Guys with the Guys and Women with the Women. Sadly the two camps, the ones on the inside and the ones on the outside usually don’t intermingle.

Sadly that’s the truth.

But we do what we can do. I can’t make someone get sober. Especially a woman with her own will, that she continually relies on taking back. We can only point the way, give them a calm and inviting space to come for a meeting, a pot of coffee and a few cookies. And hope they return during the season.

People are changing their meeting routines already. When the snows come, we will see who really needs it and who doesn’t.

The challenge to stay sober is coming.

More to come, stay tuned …



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