Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. AIDS – THIS IS MY PRIDE – SURVIVAL !!! A Wordpress Production

Openings … Prism … and Letting Go !!!

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Today was the Big Day for the REVEAL  …

That was not as BIG a deal as I thought it would be. The ground floor is 95% complete, save for a few still covered spots that are not occupied, and the one build still going on at the tunnel.

But more on that in a few moments.

It is cold, it is warmer, it is cold and it is warmer … Me thinks Mother Nature is having issues. She has a hot flash, then she gets cold, and so on.

The weather through Monday is moderate, then temps go downhill from there. And we hit a bunch of minuses. One of my neighbors from Asia was at the elevator this afternoon and he commented that it was getting colder and that this was his first winter here. It will be interesting to see how they fare in the coming weeks. As we both agreed that it only gets worse from here on out.

I was up early this morning to run some safari and get coin for laundry. And it was a hang up in the laundry room as someone was occupying several washers and they were outside the ten minute rule … which says

“if your laundry sits for more than ten minutes, other tenants have the right to move your laundry to make way for their own…”

I don’t like fussing with other people’s laundry, because that gives them the inkling to fuck with yours.

I got my wash done, and into dryers before someone came up and finished their laundry. So that was a good thing.

*** *** *** ***

I have a doctors appointment at 10 in the morning for x-rays and to see a doctor, not MY doctor, but a doctor nonetheless. I’m hoping I did not do severe damage to my back in the fall.

*** *** *** ***

I was out uber early for the church, as I had a tutoring session with one of my boys. He is having a case of the “fuck its” and ran into a wall and almost dropped out of university because of adversity. Thankfully I talked him out of “Fuck It.” We pow wowed and I gave some pointers and gave him several essays to read, so that he would learn what an essay looks like and how one is written correctly. He also has a style guide grading sheet to look at while he studies. Time will tell. We also hooked him up with a rep from the university to get him hooked into student services.

Our meeting was sparse, but the same faces come, and the intimate atmosphere is appealing. One of our men said tonight that he felt that our name has been coming to pass … Changing Attitudes among the men present.

We talked about Letting Go.

This last time I was getting sober, I was an empty shell. Living alone, very few friends who were “involved” in my daily life. Not many at all.

Someone mentioned he was still trying to figure out who he is in sobriety.

When I came back in, I was nothing. I was trying to be something that I could not be. And reclaim or hold on to an age that was long gone.

For the first few months, I had to let go to the process, and trust the people in my life at the time to steer me in the right direction. When I got HERE, I had not very much, not a tv, not a bed, not any furniture.

I borrowed a hand me down throw mattress and I had a radio.

But I had my meetings. And the people in those meetings. Despite my expectations, I had people who told me right from wrong, kept telling me to keep coming back, and stay in my day. It took me a long time to learn how to do that AGAIN.

I had a passing glance of the boy who would later become my husband.

I followed him around, and the rest is history.

I had good people in my life. I worked my steps a couple of times inside of the first two years, and I studied the slogans and I began to practice them one day at a time.

I would get some step time in, and then God would give me something to actively work with to practice what I learned on that pass.

I would study for a few months, or maybe a years time, then something Big happened in my life and I had to work my program to the hilt. And that happened over many years, and to this date.

I don’t plan my days to a severe degree. I usually let things pan out and see what happens. I have chores to do and things for myself. Then I leave a majority of my time to work with others, in what ever way that works out.

I am useful today.

Some friends of mine have problems with asking for help and would rather eat pride and say Fuck it and fail. But it is proven that over the last twelve years, if I needed anything, I brought it to a meeting and spoke up.

You cannot get sober and keep your ego …

There is no shame in asking for help, especially at a meeting, because there is always someone at a given meeting who may be able to help you and if we listen and we find we can’t help you, nine times out of ten, we know someone who CAN help you. So ask away …

It was a good night.

*** *** *** ***

I walked my friends to the Westmount tunnel and they walked outside as I took the tunnel. As I plugged my buds in to listen to my music, one channel went out and I only got half sound. I was like “fuck me !”

Like I said above … Target opened their doors today. And there was no BIG BANG details or happy party. Not even on twitter. They put up a huge Christmas tree in the atrium out front of the store. Which is nice.

The Big Open Space is also very attractive. They did a great job on the rebuild. But there is still work going on in other areas of the mall.

Thankfully, Target was open. For a few more minutes at least. Enough time for me to hit the electronics department to buy new headphones.

From my brief visit, I could see that the layout of the store is almost identical to the way Zeller’s had it. Tomorrow I will have a full review after my doctors appointment.

They guy I was talking to said the store was much bigger in size, so there will be more to explore in the morning.

I paid $40 bucks for a new headset, with a small jack for my phone.

I’ve been trying to fill my days with space to listen to music. Which means taking the long way around, and being by myself. Because it is rude to listen to music in the company of others.

I had a listen to Lady Gaga, and that is still a work in progress. I don’t love it like other music she wrote.

But I am LIKING Katy Perry’s PRISM. That is some solid song writing. And it plays well. There is a tone and meaning to the lyrics and I really like what I am hearing.

I stopped at Pharmaprix for some things, then to Provigo for some safari on the way back. I think I am set for now, unless of course I see something I have to have before Christmas tomorrow at Target.

It will be a full day tomorrow – with a meeting tomorrow night and a cake with friends marking time at the meeting.

More to come, stay tuned …

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