Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. Parliament Hill Ottawa. A Wordpress Production

Fear of Sleeping … Thursday

tumblr_ma62hlMxSo1rdkscno1_500 rthompson80

Courtesy: RThompson80

The weather is definitely getting colder. As the days pass, the weather is turning towards SNOW. The forecasting has been changing by the hour, it seems nobody knows what were are going to get and when?

I’ve been cleaning and ridding the house of all the junk that tends to pile up and getting old magazines and papers we no longer use. With very limited storage, if it can go outside it usually does, hence the purge that took place yesterday.

The space for the Christmas Tree is finally cleared, as this weekend we will put up the tree finally. It usually goes up on the first snow, or on Thanksgiving week. The city has decorated light poles, and the malls are all decked out. I still need to go check out the decorations in the core in the coming weeks. Eventually I will have to hit the downtown malls for Christmas presents.

It was an off night, due to the church needing the space tonight, so the men’s meeting was dark. We in turn took the chance to get to St. Matthias for their speaker meeting. Which is where we left to open the men’s meeting. Lots of old faces, and many new faces. I was hoping to see some friends that I don’t see very often, and they didn’t show.

We got to hear a newbie girl tell her story tonight. Just 2 1/2 years in.

Our girl was no more than 21 years old, and came in around 18, and like all the very young people who come in ask that one eternal question…

“Do I really want to quit drinking and get sober so young? What will become of my life at that …

Listening to the excessive train wreck of a life of a young girl who faced all those issues young girls face … image, food, friends, egos, attitudes …

For the brief years she drank, alcohol became the solution. And after continuous geographical cures, a sobering trip to Africa, and a total meltdown that led to her committing to treatment here in Montreal, she is newly sober.

The stories of young people differ from an old soul who gets sober later in life. But the stories are all the same. No matter the age. We drank, we got drunk, all we wanted was to escape and to have MORE.

In the end, the writing appears on the wall, and in the mirror … “We can’t go on like this anymore, and if there is a God, now would be a good time to show yourself.”

At the end of the meeting a good long time member took his 31 year medallion. He, is a Somali Muslim, and he shared a reading of a story about a meeting,  and a Jew was coming to his first meeting, and our man was handing out the desire chip, and this Jewish man walked up and here you had a Muslim embracing a Jew in a meeting.

All out of Love and support, not warring or wanting to hurt one another …

The things we learn when we stay sober long enough and to be in the right place at the right time to hear such stories. We are all blessed.

It was a good meeting.

*** *** *** ***

Today I had a few things to do around the house. I cooked some lunch and took in a meeting on CD. My copy of the Roundup speakers is getting good use. After lunch I had time to burn, so I took a nap.

And there’s the rub …

For the last week or so, every time I nap, or go to sleep at night, both sleep periods are ending up in awful nightmares that are freakishly horrible. I’m either running from, or trying to get out of some place or away from some body, and my sleep period is terribly interrupted and I wake up more exhausted than when I went to nap or sleep.

Yesterday afternoon I took a nap and woke with a migraine headache which sent me back to bed after taking something for the pain and sleeping another hour and a half, before dinner.

I am finding that it takes longer to get to sleep, I think my brain is beginning to fear going to sleep. And that is not good.

I’ve never had this problem before, I know some HIV meds create horrid nightmares, but that has never been the case with mine.

I don’t know … I see the doc on the 4th of December. And I will talk it over with him then.

3 weeks from tomorrow I celebrate my anniversary.


More to come, stay tuned …



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s