Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. AIDS – THIS IS MY PRIDE – SURVIVAL !!! A Wordpress Production

Page 12 of 365 … The Stoop Edition

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It was a balmy night tonight. Piles of snow are slowly melting, it seems we are on a warming trend. But by the end of the week, they say snow or flurries.

Spring is only 67 days away… March 20, 2014.

Shall we begin the count to the end of winter, or towards the beginning of Spring? Or is Mother Nature going to throw us another curve ball like she did last year, with a bang of snow and cold to cap off a long Winter?

I’ve not been feeling 100% as of late, and I slept a good stretch into this afternoon. Nothing is better for me than a good night’s sleep. I was up and ready to go early because I needed to hit the Dollar Store for some candles for my Tuesday meeting. Mischief managed !!!

Arriving earlier than I intended meant that set up was done with a lot of time before folks started to arrive. We sat a full room (plus) …

We welcomed back friends who traveled far away for the holidays which was very nice. I was so proud of our girls who weathered the holidays and came back to us sober.

It was a “getting to know you again” meeting tonight. People are back from their holiday adventures and they all came for the meeting. All bright and shining faces.

We read through “The Missing Link, and Fear of Fear” It is so good to hear everybody share on a multitude of things that popped up in the reading.

I listened to all the voices, the good orderly direction and the group of drunks. Talking about a Power that is greater than ourselves.

Imagine … pondering the idea that there is something greater than ourselves. It is so much bigger than us, that it would take a lifetime to wrap ones head around it.

God as WE understood him.

Not God as I understand him.

What do we collectively see, feel, experience, share? That word, God, the make or break word in the book that either sends you back out (not wanting anything to do with God) or you find a seat, breathe, and sink into the group of people there, looking for something to make their lives better.

With variants of time and experience in the room on any given night, there is a thread of want. To find something that is greater than ourselves. It doesn’t come overnight. But gradually.

It was spoken about the evolution of how some “came to” and how, over time we find IT. Well, it finds us. God is not lost. But seems to have been lost in the funk of alcoholism. Over time, as we commit to showing up, and we listen with open hearts and minds (Hopefully) we begin to sense the power in the room, in other people, and over time, then it comes to us.

For every person in the room, there is a spiritual thread/path. No two paths are the same. I come to the rooms, to find it, to share it, to learn how others found it. If you stick and stay long enough, You can watch God move amongst the people. I’ve had that experience a number of times.

In the story “Fear of Fear” the writer of the story is attending meetings for her husband because he is surely one of us, but she isn’t. And she takes a moment and goes out to the stoop of the hall outside for some air, where she invariably comes to meet a kind woman who greets her and listens to her words, and truth is spoken … Our woman realizes that indeed she is one of us.

When I arrived the second time, at my second First Meeting, it was a gay meeting, and I sat there, out of sight and mind. Kind of oblivious to the people in the room, and they were oblivious to me. It was all kind of a blur.

I went outside after the meeting for some air. This was a club room, so another meeting would be starting in a while. I spent a good amount of time sitting on that stoop in the days and weeks to come. Soon a couple showed up, a woman and her significant other. They greeted me and asked me if I was waiting for the meeting, which I replied yes …

I got that hug. And someone who connected with me.

To this day, those two people are still in my life. A handful of folks from the SOBE room are still in my life, via facebook. We spent a great deal of time sitting on that stoop to welcome folks in.

That “meeting before the meeting” and invariably “the meeting after/or better yet the meal after the meeting” was such a blessing. We ate out probably every night those first few weeks I was getting sober.

With Lincoln Road just up the block from where we were, places to eat were plentiful. We don’t do that so much here, you really have to work at finding something that is open post meeting in the core, which means whomever joins you, you’re going to have to travel to find food.

Montreal is too spread out and it is far easier to find a coffee shop rather than a sit down restaurant to dine at.

The New Year has begun with some great energy. I just hope our folks carry it through. One day at a time …

Today is day 12 of 365. Stick to your plan. You can do it.

More to come, stay tuned …


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