Tuesday … Rowing Along
There is still a chill in the air. People are opting for coats, moving about outside.
The rain has departed and it will be sunny for the next few days and hopefully warmer. I would like to pack shorts for the weekend, but rain is forecast for the weekend, and that usually means cooler temps. I may pack them just in case, not that we will be outside for any great length of time during the weekend.
I have heard mixed reviews of the location we are going to, like communal spaces to sleep and that irks some folks who prefer privacy at night. Others have said that it will be a great weekend. Folks from all over will be there, lots of good long term sobriety. We shall see.
The push to the roundup is still on. Ticket sellers are visiting all the local meetings trying to get people to commit. Those of us who went last year all think this is a “must attend” event in ones sobriety. The New York model for sobriety is very different from the way we do it here, in certain circles mind you.
I’ve been working very hard to bring that model to my guys and to the meetings that I go to. In most meetings in New York City, they more than triple attendance at their meetings. I mean hundreds show up for particular meetings. That is something we have not seen here in Montreal in over a decade.
Back in the day, at certain meetings, you could expect a hundred head count, but those meetings came to an end and closed. And most of those people that we used to see come, Don’t …
I departed a little early to run some errands and arrived at the church on time, and made a pot of coffee. We sat a humble group. And we read the first page of Living Sober. “Why Not Drinking ???”
As we are a beginner group, we focus on Steps 1,2,and 3. And the literature that is useful to someone just coming in and those in their first weeks, months and years in sobriety.
Why Not Drink?
- I just can’t have ONE
- At the end I was delusional
- I can’t drink like a normal person
- What is normal???
- I don’t like who I become when I drink
- Once I start I cannot stop
All I know, on that night I drank my last number of drinks, I somehow got home and into my apartment. Several instances where this happened, grew into fear, because not knowing what I looked like or who stepped in and cut me off and took me out of the bar, and got me into a taxi, and THEN get into a locked building, was something I began to concede that I had a serious problem.
From September to December 2001, many of us were consumed with alcohol. And the slow decent into hell just got worse. They say slips get progressively worse and becoming delusional because of alcohol is a serious problem.
But I came to a moment of clarity. Don’t ask me how or why? But I got there. I knew I was licked. I had a sober moment where I said to myself that it was over, the party was over and that I needed help, and I asked for help, and help came.
God in His infinite wisdom came and sent me help.
Because I asked for it.
The compulsion to drink departed. I thought it a good sign in early sobriety that the bar/club I used to drink in closed its doors for good. I walked by that building every day to get to the room in Miami Beach. Knowing that I never had to drink again in that place was comfort.
I had escalated my drinking to the point that I would never go to a bar that served liquor during the day. Or daily for that matter. I was not a daily drinker, I could not function that way. I was the all or nothing binge drinker. And the one night a week, all or nothing event was what I was after, until it was over.
I can count on one hand the times I came close to a drink in early sobriety. But thank God for the rooms and the people in them, moving here sober, kept me at a distance from drinking establishments, liquor stores or deps.
It has been a good run so far.
I don’t drink, one day at a time. And that works for me.
Everybody is good.
More to come, stay tuned …