Thursday … Busy Day and … The Return
Can I tell you how cold it is outside right now? (-11c/-15c w.c.) Brrrrrr…
After yesterday’s excitement and Boo Yah purchase, today had to get even better.
And it did.
Today was beauty day, well, my appointment with my stylist. The ever evolving haircut continues. Let’s just say, it is a work in progress.
Not to mention, on the train (that story is coming) on the way out there was a very very HUMPY Montreal police officer on the train, with a version of “the haircut” and I was like M.E.O.W. come arrest me please !!!!
When I left for the mall, I really had no plan beyond getting my hair cut.
You know what happens to me whenever I make a plan right?
God Laughs …
My sponsor is M.I.A. for the past two days, and I am having a love affair with his answering machine, which he jokingly replies when I say that is … “that is the safest relationship.”
So, I packed my bag with warm fuzzies and I left my headphones home, because, I wasn’t going anywhere far, that would require music to follow.
It was 12:30 and I was already out. And I put in an order at inter group for chips that I was going to go get tomorrow. Standing in the mall, I decided to check the service office hours, which were from 1 until 7 this evening.
I thought to myself that I would charge my Opus card, walk from the mall home to get my headphones, and walk to the next Metro Station, which is 3 blocks East of home. The mall is 3 blocks West of home, so that was my plan.
Did I mention that it was cold?
I chose not to go home, instead I got on the train and headed to the East End to pick up chips.
It was a 30 minute commute out East, and a trudge up the Olympic Park Hill, yes, that Olympic Park. The BIG O … Where the 1976 Olympics took place. There is a nice coating of ice citywide on all the sidewalks. UGH !!!
I am superstitious about chips.
- Your sponsor is supposed to get your chip, (He asked me to get it instead)
- You don’t get your chip prior to the actual anniversary
- And you don’t touch your chip until it is handed to you by your sponsor
It is bad juju to break any of these conditions !
My chip was waiting for me, and I asked the kind lady to bag my chip and I shared with her my superstitions. (cue eye roll and the thought … Oh those alcoholics !!!) While I was there I purchased chips for my guys in advance, since I was there already, and their dates don’t come up for a few months, in any case, I have them all now.
Another 30 minute commute back to where I started, and had some Micky D’s for lunch, and then got home close to 3 in the afternoon.
I skyped with a friend who lives in Pittsburgh, and who is coming home for Christmas next week !!!
Cue Happy Dance …
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The Return – A First Share
Our men’s meeting closed last week, which frees up a meeting night. Our little band of happy men decided that we would indeed return to the regular Thursday night speaker meeting at St. Matthias church, which is just up the road from St. Leon’s (where our men’s meeting met).
We arrived to a great welcome, since we haven’t seen folks on Thursday in 18 months. We were joking amongst ourselves on the bus that we should have worn our royal jewels, diamonds, sapphires and Gold !!! Really make a Liberace entrance …
You don’t know that you miss a certain meeting, until you spend a good amount of time doing something else. I missed this meeting. It has been a staple meeting for many years, and when we chose to open the men’s meeting, we knew we were knocking off tradition.
Lots of people I know, lots of people we all know. It was good.
My favorite human being, because he is stately and humble and kind was in the chair.
Our young speaker got up there, and knocked it out of the park.
Some meetings are hardline singleness of purpose meetings, where you can only talk about alcoholism and nothing but. And I’ve seen people get up and leave a meeting midway because someone up there says the word “Drugs!”
And in the 21st Century, what alcoholic is NOT cross addicted??? The numbers are staggering!
Guesses, anyone ???
It seemed that nobody gave a shit, in any case.
Our man got up there and told a story that tugged at my heart. I laughed, I felt sad, I felt sorry for him, and in the end, we were all proud of him.
You could have dropped a pin in that room, nobody got up, nobody left, nobody said a word.
Because we all respect the man who chaired the meeting, and the young man who got up there to share and because of the people who run that meeting. These are all truly respectable people, who do good things for all of us.
It is Grace when you get to sit in a meeting and hear a newcomer speak for the first time.
Because, how often and always, those of us with time, forget what it was like to be newly sober, or coming back, and have to get up there and share experience, strength and hope for the first time.
We all did it, many of us have forgotten what that felt like. And what it sounded like.
Tonight we were reminded, every single one of us in that room.
Our chair said afterwards, of the young speaker, that, “when I asked him to speak I did not know him, but when I asked him, he said yes, and now tonight, I know him a bit better.”
Never say no to a request to do any kind of service.
Bittersweet … The longer I stay, the worse it gets for some. Leave a meeting for a while, and then return, and witness people who decided to toss it away and go back out, only to show up and take another beginner’s chip. People with serious time go out, and it is unnerving. And it makes me think about either, what I am doing right? or what they are doing wrong?
There is a simple list of things to do to guarantee not going back out.
And I bang those things into my guys heads over and over…
Sadly, not everyone can exceed expectations. The revolving door still exists. And sadly, people I knew 18 months ago who were long sober, are once again, trying again. You never know what pulls people out the door, but I do … cunning baffling and powerful …
One moment of indecision, one lapse in thought, the 12 inch gulf between ones head and their heart.
How did they slip through the cracks? How does that happen when they used to be connected to a home group, doing service and staying sober?
I’m really grateful that I am sober another day. Because I know, in an instant, I could be right back there, hating myself and starting over. I choose not to do that, and I am willing to go to any length to stay where I am right now. I worked too damned hard to get here, to piss it away with a momentary lapse in judgment.
Serenity – Acceptance – Courage – Wisdom – Patience – Appreciation – Tolerance – Strength
The long version of the Serenity Prayer in brief …
A good day and a great night.
At least for tonight, all of our folks are sober one day.
More to come, stay tuned …