Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. AIDS – THIS IS MY PRIDE – SURVIVAL !!! A Wordpress Production

Over the River and Through the Woods…

tumblr_me70e8djqB1qas1mto7_500We are sitting at a cold (-12c/-17c w.c.) It has been cold all night. On the way out, it was snowing, Big, Wet, flakes falling from the sky, it was beautiful. A real Hallmark kind of night.

Early this morning I woke up around 10, got something to drink, and crawled back into bed, having set my alarm clock for 5. I had nothing to do today, but I did. Somewhere I had filed an appointment with one of my guys for 1 o’clock. Damn … I reset my alarm clock and slept for a couple hours.

That did not last very long. I got up and dressed for a trip to the store to do my shopping for the day/weekend/knowing probably that I will need to go out on Saturday again. I unpacked and waited for my friend to arrive.

When he departed, I had some lunch and farted around.

We all have an internet routine, well, at least I do. You know, the cycle of Email, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Blogs I read, You Tube so forth and so on. And once I finish my cycle – I am done. At least for a few hours. Once I finish everything I want to do, and there is nothing else to do, having covered all the bases, I am on free time. I don’t usually want to sit here and stare at the screen, because that drives me bat shit crazy … which usually ends up with a nap at whatever time that cycle comes to an end.

The other night there was a massive pipe burst up on the route I travel to the Friday meeting. An entire stretch of St. Joseph is closed, which means ALL the buses that feed the Laurier station, are terminating away – blocks away – from the station. That all but shut down a massive amount of traffic, and people have to walk a ways to find their bus.

With that in mind, I left uber early, not knowing what was going to happen. There are two ways to get to the Friday meeting. One is up Parc to Laurier on the 80 bus. I never usually take that bus North because I always miss my stop for some reason. So I choose the longer route, Green to Orange, and Laurier and the 51 bus, that is a direct route to the church.

I arrived at Laurier, and followed people away from the station to where the supposed stop was, Up the block were signs for some of the buses, but no sign for the one I wanted. Not seeing a sign, I decided to keep walking up St. Joseph to the first real “Stop” for the 51 bus, where there was a shelter, and I waited, the bus arrived shortly after I got to that stop, and I took it the rest of the way.

Because of the Bus Snafu… People were coming in, in shifts. A lot of people come in on that route. We sat a full crowd and we read from A.B.S.I. Courage and Prudence.

“Prudence is a workable middle ground, a channel of clear sailing between the obstacles of fear on the one side and of recklessness on the other. Prudence in practice creates a definite climate, the only climate in which harmony, effectiveness, and consistent spiritual progress can be achieved.”

“Prudence is rational concern without worry.”

How often do we use the word prudence? What does it mean ?

1. The quality or fact of being prudent, or wise in practical affairs, as by providing for the future.
2. Caution with regard to practical matters; discretion.
3. Regard for one’s own interests.
4. Provident care in the management of resources; economy; frugality.
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I waited to speak, not knowing whether I would speak, because today’s meditation said that it might be better that I keep quiet and listen more …
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I waited for someone to say something that resonated with me, finally I did get something to work with.
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God has been part of my life from the very beginning. People worked very hard, throughout my life to keep me on the spiritual beam. How many teen agers do you know, who stay on the beam entirely?
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I was on and off for a long time. I hit a good long stretch through seminary, then I hit a very long stretch of taking my will back, and spitting in God’s face.
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Every time I stepped off the beam, historically, landed me in some certain jackpot. Always …
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The run up to my last drink, the first time, I chose to step off the beam and take my own life. Well, at least try to take my own life. I failed.
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Once you face your own mortality, what other fear could take you down, I ask you?
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I got back on the beam and I lived through some very dark times. I even stayed sober. But that tedious sobriety hung on my respect for my disease, I had none. The insidiousness wove its way into my brain and I was off and running. Prudence is not one of my strong suits. Well, wasn’t then.
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I picked up and was off on the adventure that almost killed me.
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I could have ended my slip sooner than it did. But my flagrant disregard for gratitude that I was still alive eluded me. I went to “my” bitter end. And at that point, it was prudent to do one thing, pray …
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The rest they say is history.
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I kept on that beam. I stayed in the rooms, and close to people to help me along the way. I’ve had a long time to practice, prudence…
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It was a good night.
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I decided to forgo the route deviation on the 51 bus going home. I did not feel like finding my way from the terminus (where ever it was) to get to Laurier. Instead, I walked the extra two blocks to Parc and took the direct route, the 80 Bus to Place Des Arts, which is on the Green line, and three stops to home. It bypasses the entire trek on the Orange line and I arrived home about the same time had I taken the other route.
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So it was a kind of Over the River and Through the Woods kind of night.
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More to come, stay tuned …
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