Thursday – Feed the “Right” Fire
Our local weather has indeed turned. We are sitting at (10c) at this hour.
Last night it was cool enough to warrant a little heat, just to break the chill. Today, as it happened, I crated the A.C. for the Winter. We won’t need it again this year. It was cool and comfortable all day, but as the sun went down, it was markedly cooler.
I broke out the winter jacket and my toque collection.
It is October already, can you believe it? Thanksgiving is not far away. The second Monday in October, but I always cook on the Sunday. And This year I have a full table, with the addition of Baby Mama and Baby LuLu. Which meant, today, I went to my local butcher shop and ordered a 15 lb turkey that will be in on Monday for pick up.
It was a full day of coffee dates and get togethers. I had more coffee today than I usually drink in a weeks time. My tummy is not happy at all.
We headed out for our usual Thursday fare. And a very good friend of mine was in the hot seat.
I’ve known her since she came in. I’ve been present for her, at several meetings in town. And tonight, we got to hear her share.
Oh to be young again.
It is, on one hand, great to see young people in the rooms. But at the same time, it is terribly sad to know that alcoholism is an equal opportunity predator. I was as young as she, when I came in the first time. But I lacked a lot of what I see today in our young people. And I don’t see it the same way in many people, but there are a select few who, have learned about:
“Feeding the right fire.”
I haven’t heard those words in a long time from any of my friends, put so succinctly.
Once a fire is lit, in order to keep that fire burning, we need to feed it with fuel. And for many of us, as young people, we learned of “fire” and were enamored by it. It was warm and soothing, and in the beginning, it kept us warm and shed light on our pains, and fears.
More like, burned away our pains and fears …
But like many, once that fire was lit, it felt so good, that we heaped all the fuel onto that fire that we could to keep the burn going for as long as we could.
Sadly, in the end, we all came to that terrible “Crash and Burn” end.
Some end up in jail, some end up in hospital, many end up dead.
My young friend, at the end, was lying in a tub of water, a broken bottle on the side, and thinking that she could not go on any longer, contemplated joining the “27 Club.”
Ten points if you get that reference …
Most women I know, when the end comes or life takes a serious turn, they do what comes natural, “they call their mothers.”
That started the ball rolling, not to mention closing up shop, moving provinces, and living under “family rehab” as she put it.
She, like many, fed that fire of addiction to its bitter end. She had to stamp it out, once and for all. And she needed help. Months later, she came to us. Now she is one of our gang.
A beautiful young woman of courage, faith and beauty.
She talked of spirituality, that which she chooses to call God. And she warned us tonight that recovery is no laughing matter. And is not for the feint of heart.
Shit is going to get real, and it is going to take work.
Those who begin and end their days praying and meditating, interspersed with meetings, inventories, sponsors, and sponsees down the line, learn about the “Right Fire.”
Spirituality is a fire, that when lit, will warm our hearts and keep us warm in the cold. Because alcoholism is a cold and patient predator. But if we learn early on, what that fire means for each of us, that becomes powerful, personal flames.
Today we feed the Right Fire. And we do what is necessary to keep that fire burning.
Because we all know, each of us, what it felt like to get burned from the inside out, gong down in a hail of drugs and alcohol. It wasn’t pretty in the end.
But as young people, we get sucked into bad fire, and once sucked in, we are on for the ride until it kills us.
Thankfully, our young people lived through burning destructive fire.
Now they are here, safe, clean and sober. They never have to go back.
The rooms might not have been where they really wanted to end up, but for most, I can safely say today, was the best choice they have all made in their lives.
And I get to know these young people.
The best part of my community is that young people are so glad to have us.
That thanking hug was the best part of the night.
Not to mention giving my number to a man, on his valiant return after a slip.
Pray for him.
Feed the RIGHT fire within …