Thursday – Sitting on the Fence is Not a Comfortable Place to Be…
It is raining. And has been raining All, Day, LONG ! Many things were going on today, and I had to get out of bed early, because we needed some repairs to our fuse box, and I had an appointment later in the afternoon, on the East end, and it was pouring down rain all afternoon. And I really did not want to go out in the pouring rain ….
Even with an umbrella …
The repairs were made, sadly, a couple of hours before I was supposed to leave, I got a cancellation call from The Maison that my masseur was stuck in the townships with a flat tire. (Townships – To the East and South of Montreal – a little far away).
When the coast cleared and I was free of commitments, I gladly poured myself back into my warm bed for a couple of hours. (read: Being good to myself).
It was a joyful evening, as we had a fellow join us for his first (read: Second first) meeting. It is hard having family in the place of suffering and not being able to do anything for them, because all we can do is attract rather than promote.
And we’ve been working really hard at attraction.
We got to the meeting with time to spare. And as I sat down, the chair asked me to thank the speaker. Common themes are repeating themselves, albeit, from different generations of people.
For a second week in a row, our speaker had not one, but BOTH parents in the rooms for more than twenty years. And rather than push the rooms or preach the goodness of its people, the parents waited, listened, and then, when the time was right, then say, quite clearly and out of character, that “Maybe it is time for a meeting.”
Both the gentleman last week, and our young lady tonight, came in by a suggestion from a parent. And it worked. Both are sober today.
The theme of tonight’s share was:
SITTING ON THE FENCE IS NOT A COMFORTABLE PLACE TO BE …
Some, who come in so young, are not quite sure they fit in, at first glance. They come, sit in a few meetings, then leave, because they are either:
- A. Thinking they are too young to get sober
- B. What will my Old friends think
- C. I can’t get sober when my friends drink and drug
- D. It just isn’t the right time for me
- E. I’m too young to be an alcoholic. I still have good years to drink more…
- F. I’ll do it when I’m Thirty …
So they go back out for further experimentation, until they hey rock bottom, and usually, once you come in and see, your drinking is screwed up for the rest of ones life.
So the BIG push to the bitter end is usually a tragic crash and burn.
Do I or Don’t I ? What will life look like ? What will my friends think ? How will I survive without drugs and alcohol, in my twenties …?
Hearing our young lady share, she spoke the “Litany of the Young People.”
How many young people do we know “out there” who could use what we have “In here?”
And how many make it IN and how many do NOT ?
I have to applaud our young people, every day. Because they have courage, that I did not have. But like them, at one point, I was told, that I WAS going to get sober, NOW.
We hear common themes among our young women. That of:
- Self Loathing
- Negative Self Talk (Read: Saying things to ourselves things we would never say to another Human Being)
- I’m not like all of you
- It’s really Not That Bad !!!
- Lonely and Heartbroken
- and finally … Desperation and Hopelessness
We hear this from the men, to a degree, but for the women who come in, (Read: At any Age) these feelings are only magnified times TEN.
The men just don’t connect like they should, because guys just don’t do that kind of thing.
But between the women, the pain runs deep, and they ponder that maybe there won’t be another woman in the room who can identify.
Sadly or more positively, ALL of our women share common threads. And it isn’t until they really connect, that they see that they are No Longer Alone.
I’m very happy that our young men and women, who are IN today, have stuck and stayed. They did what was suggested. They come, the all have Home Groups. Some, who have been a little while, are giving it back in working with others.
Then there are those whom are beginning to connect in ways they had not, in the beginning, and they have stepped it up a notch.
It was a good night.
April and May are the Big Roundup and Pioneers Roundup weekends. Every year, we all wait for the programs of sober events that fall during this period. Spring has begun, however, Mother Nature is going to toss negative temps at us all weekend. UGH!
Spring is a good time to get sober, because if you participate, often, You Too can turn up the heat and really raise your game better than it ever has been.
One of our Women celebrated her first year sober. There was Cheesecake !!
A good time was had by all.