Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. The Ferryland – New Foundland Iceberg Easter 2017. A Word Press Production.

Friday … The IDIOT and The Partial Reveal

tumblr_lm5d60Hzy01qzhzruo1_500 flickr jamesclear

Mother Nature pulled another feather out of her hat tonight. It was COLD when I left, hence a little more layering for the trip out and back. When we left the church it was fucking SNOWING again…

Yesterday I reported on what I thought was a pipe burst, but I was no where close on that front. Today I learned the truth, because the apartment manager called hubby at work and told him what really went down.

Days prior to the water shut off, we get letters plastered on the elevator walls, and on each floor. (there are note holders on each floor) The note said …

The water will be off until 4 p.m. PLEASE BE ADVISED to make sure ALL of your faucets are closed, and that all your water delivery locations are secure. Do NOT leave your water on.

This is straight forward direction of what NOT to do, in this case, leave your faucets open, because new water pumps means, that water pressure is going to be higher when they turn the water back on.

Each floor of the building has sets of apartments with the same footprint on every floor depending on where your apartment is located. The East side of the building that faces down town. The West side, who look to Westmount Square. And the South side which looks out to the river.

We are in the West Block. Every apartment in the West block has the same wall structure (read: Footprint) throughout the building. So each room, is the same, floor upon floor, all the way up.

Some FUCKING IDIOT who lives on the 19th floor, above us, put the stopper in his tub. And left the building with his bath tap FUCKING ON !!!!

When the water came on, it gushed into his tub, which filled. But with no drain open, the water overflowed and came cascading down through the walls, and each successive ceiling below his apartment. Hence, WHY I heard water falling INSIDE the walls.

So all the apartments from 19 down, to the lower floors, I’m not sure how far the water got before they turned it off at the source, have been water damaged.

WATER damage is as bad as FIRE.

We are told that the building is billing him for the damages. We shall see where that goes.

Last night we kept towels on the bathroom floor, because water dripped out of the ceiling all night long. The bedroom carpets are stained from water damage. The closet carpet is still wet, and will take time to dry out since it sees no light of day.

The water damage is extensive in the bathroom, from the entire perimeter of the ceiling around the bathroom, all the way down the walls, on all four sides. The brand new ceiling has peeled apart at the seams, and huge water bubbles that filled with water are all over the walls where the paint lifted off the walls from water incursion.

Me thinks we should invest in renters insurance because we don’t have any.

Not that we EVER needed it before. There is only one asshole and he lives above us and quite frequently floods his bathroom which sends water down into our bathroom.

UGH !! STOOOOOPID MOTHERFUCKER ….

The Great Partial Reveal of Canadian Tire

The other day I was at the mall, and I noticed that they lifted the tarp on the front of the new build on the ground (read:Metro) level. We knew it was going to be a Canadian Tire, but not what it is going to look like. Today when I went shopping, I took photos of the partial reveal.

canadian tire 001

This is the view from the right side looking down to the Metro level.

canadian tire 002

This is the view from the left side looking down on the Metro level.

I was IN the old Canadian Tire the other day, which is, right now, located on the mezzanine level, the same floor the Pharmaprix and the IGA are on. They have begun to move merchandise down one floor to populate the new store.

The white photo bomb paper above the sign is a diagonal glass structure that used to house a Starbucks with the old Target. Now that window treatment is part of the main entrance of the new store. You can look down from the mezzanine into the store from above.

**** **** ****

We had a full house tonight. And the reading was all about forgiveness. Which morphed into a discussion about resentments and Amends, which fall in step nine. We split the house and the discussion went around and around.

Amends that fall into the fourth category list of NEVER are particularly difficult because this list causes a certain spiritual sickness, because we know that they may or may NOT happen. And in certain cases, NEVER is NEVER.

Certainly in my case, Never means Never.

Alcoholics are sick people. Sometimes mentally, sometimes spiritually, and sometimes emotionally. Then there are those who also fall into this category, who may not be alcoholic, but they are sick nonetheless.

I have been blamed for all my mother’s problems. It was all about my “Actions.” My brother is mad at me because of his perception of how I treated him as a human being. My father blames me for all of HIS problems because of my actions as well.

My brother really was not part of my life, beyond sharing a bedroom as kids, and the summer road trips when we had to sit next to each other in the backseat of a car.

When I moved out, he was out of sight and out of mind.

I moved away to be an adult, but my alcoholism went with me, where ever I went.

Time spent together after that is negligible.

When I got sick I called a family meeting, and begged for attention and love and support. Everybody was there, NOBODY engaged. I was on my own.

Fuck me right, it was all my fault …

I was gay, that was abhorrent to my parents and to my brother. I had AIDS, and yes, I am responsible for my actions, but asking for support was, in my perception, something I thought was necessary to survive. I was WRONG !

But survive I did and quite well without them, in spite of them as well.

The last conversation I had with my father was the night, after dinner, when he asked me quite certainly, to JUST DIE ALREADY, won’t you …

He stopped the car on the highway, because I told him to stop. I got out of the car on the highway and walked home and told him never to come visit me again.

He never did.

The last time I saw my parents, on New Years Day, 2001, I had just come home from an all night shift at the bar, and they came by to visit. I asked them out for a meal, which my father said NO to. He parked the car in a FIRE ZONE out front of my building and waited while I had twenty minutes to see my mother.

They drove off, and that was the last time we saw each other.

I played a role in their lives, as they did in mine. Everybody has faults. They made decisions, but I made decisions as well. I made all my decisions, with a sober mind.

When I moved out, I was sober.
When I got sick, I was sober.
When I legally changed my name, I was sober. Maybe not as sober as I should have been, now seen in hindsight.
When I moved to Canada, I was sober. A lot more sober than I was on my earlier decisions.

Holding on to Should of’s Could of’s and Would of’s is spiritual sickness.

It weighs down my heart and soul and makes me sick to my stomach. I stop eating and I don’t sleep very well, and I obsess about things I am powerless over.

After my last conversation with my mother a while back, I was spiritually sick for weeks on end. Tonight when we read the passage from A.B.S.I. I thought to myself that I was spiritually fit. I felt good. I had let it go to God and released them from me.

I pray for them every day. Something I have learned how to do correctly.

I can’t be bothered to obsess over people who mean nothing to me in the grand scheme of things, because it is obvious that they don’t think about me that much either. So we are even in that way.

Yes, they are my family. But they have no desire, nor have they come looking to see me or talk to me or learn anything about me. They all know where I am and how to reach me. For God’s sake they are on FUCKING FACE BOOK. And they all blocked me from access to them, so they had to actively think about me at some point.

Fuck Me …

Pre Cake Rollercoaster

I’ve learned that my person is riding his pre cake roller coaster. And he asked for help, because he is in too much pain. Not that I haven’t told him what he needs to do:

  • Pray Every Day
  • Read the Book
  • Go to Meetings
  • Work with Others
  • Turn up the Heat for God’s sake

I don’t order my guys around all the time. They are free to do what they want. But they keep to a certain level of work every week. I don’t demand, and maybe I should demand, but that is not my style. They know what to do, because I’ve told them all what they really need to do. And if they don’t do what is asked, it is to their detriment.

Now my person is in difficulty because he has failed to work his program appropriately.

Now he knows what to do, because on the way home I gave him the outline of my demands. He either decides to DO IT or NOT. Again, to his detriment.

In order to turn up the heat, you really need to do the work as I have showed them all.

It isn’t my job to order you around.

Your program is your program. And what you put into it, is what you get out of it. And if what you are getting now isn’t enough, then you really did not invest in your sober work fully.

Buckle up and keep your arms and legs inside the car while it is in motion….

May 1st is still a long ways away.

 

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