It has been a very good weekend. The weather is a little chilly. We saw double digits the other day, but it was short lived. Then snow fell, just enough to turn to ice and slick up the sidewalks.
This week will see temps begin around (+3c) to the end of the week at (+11c). We stay in the negative at night for most of the week, right now. But I know that Environment Canada is very iffy when it comes to long term weather.
My Easter celebration, that almost wasn’t, started last Wednesday, I was in the store and turkeys were on sale, and I was perfectly willing to let it slip by. But a sale is a sale. If I can pull off a holiday dinner for less than $50.00 I say, “why not!”
It was decided.
Last night I prepped and cleaned out the fridge, (read: I tossed everything that was in Tupperware from the fridge, so that I had containers for left overs). And indeed, after feeding my family, there were leftovers to be had.
I invited my traveling buddy to dinner. He will always have a chair at my table for any holiday dinner. And there are others that do well for him as well. He is well taken care of.
We dined early this afternoon, food, conversation, fellowship.
I departed for the church promptly at four. A holiday is prime time for halls to be open, for anyone who needs them. It has always been my custom, that if I had a key to a church on a holiday, whatever that holiday is, that hall is always open.
So it went. My Sunday guy came early and it was good conversation.
Each one of them is unique, and each one of them push me to be more than I am, to be a better person. Which leads to tonight’s read. The Unbeliever, from Edition One Big Book.
Our man, again hospitalized due to his alcoholism, is in a bad way. He sees no way out, and does not know why he is the way he is. From insanity, a thread emerges about a story of a man, who had some success, the possible “solution.”
At once a man came to scoff, comes to the end and believes …
From insanity to belief in ten pages. Along the way we get this actual line from the story:
“A person never knew a lesson until he tried to pass it on to someone else. And that he found out every time he tried to pass this on it became more vivid to him.”
Every conversation is an opportunity to polish your understanding and expand your soul. In order to be able to give, you need first, to fill your soul. God cannot fill a vessel that is full (read: full of Garbage). We live in a society that on one hand embraces knowledge and the attainment of it, because that is the key to financial success, in the form of work. Then there are those who could do without education, the ones that skip the line, and get into it early, woefully unprepared.
You then find two types of people. The ones who learn and hoard their knowledge and never give back, then there are the others, the ones who come to learn, and find ways to give it back.
We are not supposed to hide our lamps under bushels baskets.
Today I learned about forward motion and giving all that you have, because God gives us so much. Some take life very seriously, and are grateful for every morsel. I know someone like this, and he shares with me his lessons, and I get to share mine with him. Together we make good on thought and conversation.
You give, with all you have, when you realize just how good you have it.
It is not about ones ego or pride. It is not about want nor desire.
Every day, we get a little, and over time that little becomes enough. That lesson did not come to me overnight. That lesson took years to unpack and understand.
“Obviously, you cannot transmit something you haven’t got.”
I worked for everything that I have. And as God as my witness, I spend each day of my life giving back to the world, what I was freely given. And those I call friends, and those I work with, all turn around and give back what they have to those who need it.
Insight is very useful. Another tool that has taken years to polish. It isn’t perfect, but serves me well, when I need it. I always find that when I need words they come, and if I need something in life, I ask, and usually it comes. And if my friends ask, I give whatever I can.
We sat a fair crowd. The reading was ( … ) good.
The conversation was all about the ( … )
What is in between the ( … ) Go outside tonight and look at the stars. See the space between them. Imagine the infinite that exists in between all that we can see.
At night I go out on my balcony. And in between 8 p.m. and midnight, Orion makes his way across the sky, from East to West. I count every star. I always look for Betelgeus, the brightest star in the constellation of Orion. The one that is always on the verge of explosion.
But that star is always there. Flickering in the night sky. From that far away, I can see the flicker and the stars. There is much time and space between us, that is unfathomable.
That is a pretty big ( … )
I look at my life, and I see where the ( … ) lies. My twenties were one BIG ( … ) Then I got sick, almost died, and got sober. I began to live and learn valuable lessons. But I was not prepared to inhabit those lessons. I didn’t know how. I guess I should have, but it is what it is.
Then I took life into my hands and away from God.
I hit another ( … )
I went out, almost died, and made my way back.
Life began anew. I had lessons to draw upon to make this transition into sobriety mean something. I had no problem with God, nor turning it over. I knew how to trust, that could have been bad, but turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself.
Today I spoke about the ( … ) something I know what it means and how to use it properly.
Tonight’s story was free flow conversation and thought, with many ( … ) in between.
Some found that jarring. But others saw the ironic insight it brought to them.
It was a beautiful day and magnificent evening, spent with my friends.
On the way home, well, on the way out as well, I stopped at the target space. The space is one big open cavern. The store has been dismantled. Everything is gone. The bad dream, that had so much promise, is over.
Only a BLUE DOOR remains in its place.
Is that a sign, an omen, of what is to come?
Stay tuned …
More to come