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Blessings on your heads …

Courtesy: Wrestlingisbest

It has been an eventful past few days. I’ve been sitting on this post to let my mind percolate and write something substantial and meaningful.

Thursday came and went. It was all very anticlimactic. I don’t care for French any more and come tomorrow I will “crosses fingers” have the opportunity to drop said course in opt for a little Western Civilization. I told a friend of mine earlier tonight that I needed tomorrow to go as planned, or I am screwed. And you know what they say about the “best laid plans” right … Never expect …

I got out to Friday West End early for the business meeting, since I am a member there now it was my first business meeting and it is a good group of people, lots of long time sobriety. They run on biweekly service commitments so I am on set up on the 30th of September and the 7th of October. You know from the get go that when you join a group you start at the beginning by doing service. That means chairs, coffee and greeting. And you do that from the beginning.

I have been going to this meeting for a number of months continually since the beginning of summer and that is how you work your way into a group by getting to know people, learning names and lengths of sobriety. Many of the members there had once been members of  Tuesday Beginners.

I’ve been focused on my double digits coming soon. And it has been, for the last month or so, a journey of change and transformation for me. I don’t know why at this point, but I know not to try to figure out why things happen the way they do but just go with it and find out where the journey is leading me.

Which leads me to tonight’s meeting, which I will talk about in a little bit, but before that we need to talk about the weekend and Irene. It was wall to wall coverage of hurricane Irene over the weekend. It was billed as the storm of a century to rock the East coast in a hundred years. And they warned us here in Canada that we would get something from Irene. So we watched a lot of tv, and we waited.

Saturday the skies were clear and it did not rain. But come Sunday everything changed. The skies grew dark and dismal. And the rain began early in the morning on Sunday and it rained all day long. Sitting as high as we do, the winds were gusty and the windows buckled in their sills. In many parts of the city there was destruction and devastation. Trees falling on houses and cars, power lines down and electricity cut for millions of home owners. Flooding in areas east of us that have been devastated earlier by the spring floods got even more water on top of what was still lying around. Points further East of us in Maine, and Vermont got slammed. Roads, bridges and homes were devastated.

With the night the storm rolled out of Quebec and the skies cleared by nightfall and the weather cleared up. We saw little damage in the downtown core. But other areas in the city did not fare as well.

Monday I had my first Sociology class. The prof is a PHD and has a good head on her shoulders. I think I will find this topic intriguing we had a good first discussion about the “lifeline.” We looked at the events that changed the world from the years 1961 to 2011. There were many points on the timeline that impacted many of us in class. We need to buy the textbook or find ways to download the E Book. The book costs $103.00 and I don’t want to E Book it.

I need the physical book in my hands and I have two weeks to get it and read the first chapter for class on the 12th.

Today has come and gone. We are waiting to see when Quebec City is going to pay out our next money dump – they fucked up my file again and I had to email the financial aide office to re-update my file confirming my full time status on file which dropped me back a day because Quebec doesn’t reup their files till late on the day we file changes here. So the file is reupped but they haven’t issued out the next deposit. And I really need that money today actually knowing Quebec they are going to screw us left and right this month because of the Labor day Holiday. I really hope that they don’t wait till after the holiday to make the deposits because I will be pissed.

I am empty of all my medication and I need to pick up this months draw from the pharmacy but that’s gonna run me over $100.00 and I need the cash today not tomorrow. I hate the end of the month and add to that Quebec dragging its feet doesn’t help the situation.

Hubby got his teaching gig for the semester and his friend and sidekick did as well so they will both be teaching this semester and the universities go back next week. It is all very exciting.

I got out to the church early for set up because we had our business meeting tonight before the main meeting. It was a good meeting. Lots of good ideas floated for the future, lots of new topic discussion. We are working to come up with some fresh ideas to keep the newcomer engaged and present, to keep them “coming back for more.”

We talked about “The Doctors Opinion” from the beginning chapters of the Big Book. And I was on the end of the table as the discussion went counter clockwise from the chair which put me at the end of the line tonight. So I had some time to ponder what I wanted to share about the chapter. And this is what I came up with.

Coming to the end of my drinking career the first time I was drinking to get drunk, drinking for the effect. Drinking to get to the bottom of the bottle intentionally without a second thought. I craved the drink. I remember what that felt like. The first time around. It took a while, but once I quit drinking the craving went away. I stayed sober for some time.

But when I went on my slip, I don’t remember ever craving the drink like I had the first time. And this is the scary thought in hindsight, I don’t remember the feeling or sensation of craving. I had refined my drinking. I knew all the particulars of the how, where, when, how much and to what extent…

And after I had those coordinates I went to it. All I remember about that time is that I had skipped over the craving and went into the downward spiral binge. Once I began to binge the craving stopped. I had moved past that point of no return. I lost the ability to know that I was craving because all I did was drink.

And I think that is what is driving my recent reflection on “keeping it green.” I’ve been doing a lot of reading from old grapevines and writings from Bill W. I don’t know why I am so focused on ten years. This is the longest period of sobriety I have ever had in my life. And it is too easy to get complacent and sit on my heels and do nothing but that is not the case.

The longer period of time that elapses from the last drink to today is an opportunity to pick up a drink, again … The farther we move away from our last drink we tend to forget what it was like, and the defenses go down and we ponder the thought, “well, maybe I can, again…” Nope not for me.

Old timers with double digit sobriety, we’re talking 20, 30, 40+ years of sobriety warn us not to forget. To keep it green. To always remain connected to service and meetings. To work with newcomers. To read and re-read the book. To remember what it was like, because if we forget, we are closer to the drink than ever.

That is my meditation for tonight. May I never forget…

Tomorrow is Wednesday. I need the day to go as planned. I need a real break. I don’t want to be fucked for the semester. I need to get up and out to be at the school by 3:30. And hopefully the early bird will get the worm and I will succeed in the end. Let us pray …

Hence our photo above of prayer and blessings on your heads…

I need things to happen that I am powerless over to make happen or change.

God’s will be done …

More to come, stay tuned …

28c …

Courtesy: Troll

It is 2:30 a.m. and it is a humid 28c. The humidex is 38c.

Holy Fucking Shit !!!

It was sweltering last night and I did not get very much sleep because It was just way too hot. We don’t have AC in this apartment. None of the apartments have ac in this building. Unless you hang one yourself. It isn’t supposed to be this hot in Canada.

But the globe is warming… don’t you agree?

The heat dome they tell us is parked over central Canada and over most of the United States.

I planned to get out of the house this past evening to go to St. Matthias. There is water main work on Sherbrooke street so the busses are detouring off the main down from Sherbrooke, so getting to any point inside the detour area means that you have to walk in.

It being almost 30c in the sunlight posed certain problems like staying cool. It was swelteringly hot all day into the night.

I got up around 6 and took a cold shower and got ready to go. Hubby had filled several bottles in the fridge last night so we had plenty of cold bottled water to carry with us, and he packed my bag with a couple of bottles.

I set my route to the church through all the underground city in Westmount Square and the Forum. I walked from Greene to Cote St. Antoine down Sherbrooke. I was a sweaty mess when I got to the church.

My friend Cliff was standing outside the church greeting people as they walked up, we were watching the sky, it was 7:30 p.m. and the clouds were beginning to bunch up in the sky over the city. A storm was brewing above us, I figured it wouldn’t rain for a few hours at least.

One of my friends showed up at the meeting, fresh out of rehab 3 days ago and he didn’t look very good, he stunk of beer. He sat down and we spoke to him about why he chose to drink? It is an insidious disease, this alcoholism.

He tried the “just one” experiment, which led to ten more.

Good for one, good for ten … he said…

He was drunk. Yet here he was back again trying to get sober once more. Sad this member can’t seem to stay on the wagon. He is stuck in the revolving door and it seems to be spinning faster than he can keep up with it.

It was a good meeting. I hate when people mumble … Trying to pay attention to what the speaker was saying was a problem tonight.

Mumble Mumble Mumble …

I gave our drunk friend my phone number, since I know his sponsor, is out of town for 2 weeks in Cottage Country. We’ll see what he does with it. I pointed him to the next meeting at 7:30 tomorrow morning – well, this morning. And he may hit a meeting tomorrow night.

I am going to Friday West End Friday night.

I left the meeting and walked halfway home, when I got to the edge of the detour I waited for a 24 bus to come and take me the rest of the way home, which was good because it was lightening pretty fiercely overhead. The storm was still building.

I got home a little while later and thunder started pealing across the sky. The heavens opened up and it poured down rain for half an hour. That’s the problem with these night time rain events. They flare up out of nothing, they build up to a raging storm and it drops a little rain, that doesn’t make a bit temperature difference over the city. The pavement is still steaming from an all day assault from the sun, and yes it rained but it is still 28c outside.

When it rains it only rains for a brief amount of time. The storms piss themselves out too quickly to make a dent in the days heating. It doesn’t rain long enough to impact the days heating.

Then the clouds blow away out of the city as fast as they came in. The sky is cloudless at this hour.

The seasons need to start changing already. August is only a couple of weeks away. Hopefully by the weekend we will get some relief. They are calling for the teens later on in the weekend at night, so we’ll see how that pans out.

I wish it would snow already …

Heat …

Courtesy: Redboxers

Let us just say that it is HOT !!! At this hour it is 25c/humidex 30c. And they say that it may rain… I say bring on the rain, at least it would cool things off.

It was a beautiful day. Hot, breezy and humid. It was kind of sticky last night going to bed and throughout the day today it just got stickier.

I was out and about a little earlier today … it was blessedly cool down in the basement of the church today. I got everything done before 6 when people started showing up. We all hung out on the lawn outside it was nice.

This is the bell tower at the church. You can see the trees on the right of this photo that cover the doorway to the church basement. Nice and shady.

We had nominal numbers tonight and we read from the book “The Doctors Opinion.” It was a good meeting. We went the entire period. Many of our following are on holiday till the end of the month so numbers a little down.

Later on this week we need to get tickets to Harry Potter, Hopefully on Friday we will get to the theatre for the final installment of the Deathly Hallows extravaganza.

That’s about all for tonight.

More to come, stay tuned…

Strange Occurrences …

Courtesy: Cordisre

It was a very hot day today, unseasonably warm. That made it very sticky out all day into the night. Around 9 p.m. I was standing on my balcony and looking out over the land I survey, and it was dark over the mountain, to the north and the west, it looked as if the sun had set.

At that same moment I looked to the south and there was a sunlit sky. It was dark on the right side of the sky, yet it was sunny (on the left) where it should have been much darker. I am looking Left to Right from my balcony. We face West and have a view across an expansive sky from the height in our building.

When the Sun drops below the horizon of the mountain, the entire sky darkens as one. Well. Looking to the south, the sun was still up, and I walked back inside and said to hubby that it was sunny on the wrong side of the sky. And he said it must be a trick of light because there was slight cloud cover and that maybe the sun was peeking out over the clouds in the south sky!

That maybe the sun had not set as I expected.

Then it got really strange.

The area over which there was ample sunlight a few minutes before got dark eventually. And the clouds were split, some were dark and some were blue. I know clouds don’t turn blue, but that’s the way it looked overhead. And a storm was brewing right over our heads. Coming from the south.

The sky began to roil. We could see from our vantage point that there was lightening in the sky. But no thunder yet. And it seemed that the lightening was stuck in that one patch of sky. It was stationary in the sky. And we watched for some time, the lightening streaking from cloud to cloud across the sky in a really great light show. It must have lasted an hour. The sky roiling and gaining steam.

At one point we were watching tv and a great clatter of thunder peaked across the sky, it was unusual thunder in that it went on and on. As if it was moving across the sky. Eventually the storm gained enough energy and a microburst sent pouring rain down over the city.Where did the rain clouds come from? Because before the sun set there were light clouds over the city, not really dark storm/rain clouds…

We hadn’t seen storm clouds over our section of the city, but several of my friends commented on facebook what they were seeing in other parts of the city from where they lived. The sky was in fact roiling.

I have noticed over the last two weeks that the chem trails have been appearing over the city on a daily basis. Two jets flying at high altitude, like they were coming from someplace else, and not from our city airport on the west island.

The jets were flying too high to have come from just over the mountain. And there are always two jets who follow each other on the same trajectory from west to east over the island.

Two of the jets flew from farther south and west than from over the mountain. A second set of jets on another day fly over the mountain from the north and west to the south and east. Following each other quite closely as the chem sprays from behind them in the sky.

It makes for fantastic weather over the mountain and over the city. We get amazing sunsets and roiling storms that pop up seemingly out of nowhere right on top of the city.

Weather manipulation???

Jet liners don’t usually fly over the city. They keep to a circle path around/over to the west island where the airport is. They track around the island and not across it. When you fly into Montreal, you track around the island for a landing in the West. You don’t usually see landing aircraft track over the city at all. They usually keep to the other side of the mountain.

Then you have these high altitude passes by aircraft trailing what must be chem trails over the city. I wonder where those planes originate to get as high as they do – it must be far away to able a plane to reach altitudes like I have been seeing, You can’t take off from our airport and reach those altitudes right over the city, it is just impossible.

It was a wet end to the day, a fantastic storm that popped up right on top of the city. Kinda freaky, weather usually moves from one section of the sky to another and storms roll in as the winds would carry them. Tonight, not so much. That storm parked itself right over the city and grew in the sky as if it was feeding off the surrounding sky.

You can’t help but notice when strange things happen in the night sky.

Someone is playing with mother nature …

Time for bed …

Post a Day #26 … Perfect Sunday …

Courtesy: Lostandfoundlove

What’s your idea for a perfect Sunday? How would it differ from a typical Sunday? If it’s Sunday where you are, what kind of day is it so far?

On a perfect Sunday … That will come in the Spring. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. The grass is green, one of those special days, as the first days of Spring arrive post snow.

We take the train to Mount Royal Metro on the Plateau and follow the crowds from the station to Park Mount Royal and the Obelisk. We window shop on the way across town and stop in the IGA for some drinks and munchies.

The crowds are gathered at the park, like every Sunday from this point on. They call it The Tams … Lots of people, drums, cymbals, percussion, dancers and a lot of dance. The beat starts with one drum, the rest follow along and the park erupts in a cacophony of beats.

The chant of the drums, it echoes all over, as far as you can hear it. Up the mountain around the park from one end to another. We spend a few hours joining the dance.

This is a usual event for visitors to our house to take them to the Tams.

After a few hours we are satiated with the music and we decide to climb the mountain. Yes, there is a mountain here in Montreal. There is a dedicated trail you can walk up or ride up on bicycles.

If you are like me, my first visit to this particular park was at night, early in my sobriety, with my then sponsor. We were close, very close. I was single and we spent a great deal of time together.

One night we went to the mountain and we climbed the mountain from the park to the cross at the peak of the mountain. It was dark, pitch dark, but we climbed anyway.

Now, today, I take people up the mountain by the same path. It’s a little dirty and a lot of work. There are trails all over that side of the mountain. Fenced in walkways around the mountain from one side to another. It’s a very circular path from the park to the lookout chalet.

This is the view from the Chalet House on the Mountain.

You climb the mountain, you get to the chalet, you wash up and get some drinks and munchies and you enjoy the view. This is an afternoon event. You spend the day at the mountain.

You walk around the trail to the Cross on top of the Mountain. At night, this is what the cross looks like. During the interregnum, the period of time between the death of one Pope and the election of a new Pope, after the death of John Paul II, the cross was purple.

We actually climbed the mountain at night so we could get photos of the cross in history setting purple. There is a time capsule at the foot of the cross. There are time capsules all over the city.

There are pick nick tables at the summit where you can have meals, it is also where they stable the horses that the police use in the city. There is a lake and large green spaces that one can enjoy all season long.

The end of Winter won’t come soon enough. But a perfect Sunday would be spent on the Mountain. With an evening meeting Sunday Nighter’s.

That is a perfect Sunday here in Montreal.

An Honest Days Work …

Courtesy: Acratic

11:02 p.m.

I left the house at 8:30 this morning, en route to a country home way way out past Rowden Quebec. Over the river and through the woods up to Tom and Rene’s country home for the day. It is a two hour ride from the metropolis of the big city to a little home out in the mountains.

It was a beautiful little house on the side of a mountain, with a gorgeous view of a mountain with a grand escarpment of rocks at the summit.This, I was told, this place, was years in the making and a true reward of sobriety. It was just beautiful.

Our work today … wood. Little did I know then, the work I would do all day long. It takes a LOT of wood for a house to burn for the season.

I learned a great many things today.

Did you know that it takes upwards of 2 years for wood to dry properly in order to burn in a fireplace? We started off slow, tossing huge chunks of trees down the mountain into a ditch where we would transport that wood to the shed to be sorted, split and then racked.

Cutting trees, splitting them, stacking them is an ongoing process over a number of years. In the racks outside the house are storage racks where you stack the wood. And the wood is dated as it is stacked so the oldest wood gets burned first.

I got a tour of the property and I got my first lesson in responsible tree harvesting. The property is over an acre of land on the side of a mountain with several creeks running through it. And lots and lots of trees. Trees had been already marked for cutting, this has been an ongoing process for some weeks now.There was plenty of windfall that needed to be stacked to move in the future. It is quite the hike from the property proper to the mountainside where the trees are being cut from.

Got to get it all done before the first flake of snow hits the ground, because once it starts snowing out there you are fucked to cut more bush.

All around the property were racks of drying wood, cut, sorted and racked. Before lunch we transported at least a hundred logs of wood, that is uncut (36 inch pieces) of raw chopped trees. I’ve never lifted so much weight in my life.Through the forest on hand carts … Up the hill down the hill, over and over again …

We moved cut from one side of the property to the other all by hand truck, van and wheel barrows. That all took a few hours to complete. Then we had lunch. A very nice affair, the views from the dining room table are of the already mentioned mountain and escarpment.

After lunch I learned how to use a log splitter. Can I just say that wood working is very tedious. You have to know how the tree grew and how the grain of wood sets in order to properly put it into the machine and get a good split. While I was using the machine, Tom was hacking at the same pile of wood that I was working on with an axe.

Sometimes the axe wins, sometimes the wood wins.

We hit a huge 36 inch piece of wood that needed to be split, and however Tom tried to get his axe to do the job, that log wasn’t having any of that. We just threw it on the side of the pile uncut.

Then it was up the mountain, and when I say UP the mountain I mean UP the Mountain. Huffing and puffing all the way. My new work boots got a fair shake today in walking through the forest moving trees and logs from there to the split pile.

There was a tree that needed to be felled. It was actually two trees that rooted together but grew apart about 60 feet in the air. They asked me if I ever cut down a tree before. The answer was no.

I had a choice. To either split and stack wood, or enter the forest and fell a couple of trees. I chose the latter. So Rick and I climbed back up the mountain in back of the property and set our sights on felling this tree.

Rick cut the notch in the first tree, and with chainsaw in hand I took to the tree like an apprentice. Rick standing behind me coaching me as the blade cut into the tree. “Now if you hear the tree crack, you better get the fuck out of the way.” Set your feet in the ground, hold the chainsaw strongly, and make the cut.

So I am cranking through this tree, and its not going anywhere. I take a break, and re-asses the cut and I start in again. Little by slowly I am making my way through the tree and it splits in two. The tree is about 20 inches round. It splits and leans into a grove of standing trees right near by. I cut the remainder of the tree that was left standing, about 50 feet standing.  But the first tree was stuck. It took us 12 further cuts to get the tree on the ground. Cutting from the bottom of the trunk up the tree as it hung in the other trees.

So now there are at least 25 logs to get down the mountain and to the split shack. The sun was going down, and we just left the cut on the mountain to be collected next weekend.

We had a cord of wood to move from the split shack to the storage rack, which took us over an hour to finish and clean up. What is a cord of wood? Let me answer that question…

A full cord is a large amount of wood. It measures 4 feet high by 4 feet wide by eight feet long (4′ x 4′ x 8′) and has a volume of 128 cubic feet.

We cut and stacked a cord of wood today. But the wood we cut today, won’t be burned for at least a year. Tom moved a cord of wood from one of the stack houses into the house to be burned for the next few days. We still have to move usable wood from the stacks to two locations nearer to the house for the winter. It is quite a walk from the house to the stacks to get wood, and once it starts snowing who wants to drudge through all that snow to get at fire wood.

There is something earthly about getting your hands dirty, working with the land all day, and completing an honest days work. It has been a very long time, that I can say that today I put in an honest days labor.

As the sun set we finished cleaning up the grounds. Stacking all the wood and putting all the tools and transportation vehicles in the garage.

Rene and Tom made sure that there was plenty of good food, and a never ending pot of coffee. After a respite for a little while we showered and changed for a supper of stew and freshly baked bread.

It was divine.

We had pie and ice cream and Tom lit the fireplace. It was glorious. We shared a meal and watched a movie. All day in the house Rene was watching Global B.C. via satellite. It was sweet.

After the movie we set off for home, over the river and through the woods from the middle of nowhere to the big bright city. Several times today Tom, Rick and I talked about getting used to the silence of the forest, no traffic, no city … Too bad the down side of having a country home is the fact that it takes two jobs to keep two houses, once in the city, one in the country, Two cars, Two motorbikes, a trailer to pull those bikes around and a dog.

Hopefully next weekend I will get to go back out there to finish the job I started today.

That’s my story of the day … An honest day’s work …

Sydney EQT


It’s late Monday night as I write this. It has been snowing for hours now and there is a nice layer of clean white snow on the ground. More snow is on the way for the rest of the week.

I scored a great deal on Ebay tonight. First Generation Sydney EQT Wrestling shoes from the 2000 Sydney Olympics, which you can’t get on the open market any more. For the seasoned collector these are a coup. They fetch upwards of $200.00 a pair and sometimes more. I watched a similar pair run upwards of $350.00 on Ebay this past week, I did not pay that much for my pair. But they were steep. I almost lost the auction, I guess the people who were bidding against me did not have the desire to pump their bids further. That makes me the winner…

There is not much going on in my world. But I have been enjoying reading the holiday celebrations of some of my blogger friends. Not having a lot of family does not give up the occasion to celebrate Christmas and Boxing day (Second Christmas in Australia). It has been fairly quiet here, we’ve basically been home bodies for the last few days, eating the leftovers from the huge turkey I baked on Christmas. Dinner was a hit, but Hot Turkey Sandwiches after midnight are the real stars.

Tomorrow, (today) is Tuesday… I will have more to write after my home group meeting this evening. The snow birds have begun their exodus to the warmer climes of Florida for the rest of the Winter. So we are down a few members now until April.

I’ll see you all later today…

Fairy Dancing…

Tonight’s weather cast calls for rain tonight into tomorrow. And a chance of wet snow falling over the city of Montreal in the next 48 hours… SNOW already and it isn’t even Halloween yet!!!


The Turning…

Fall is marching on in Montreal. Just a couple shots of the trees in our neighborhood.

Saturday Afternoon…

I wanted to show you what Spring in Montreal looks like from high above the city. All the trees in the neighborhood are green and the flowers are blooming all over the place in gardens and in the green spaces.

There’s not much going on here today. I haven’t prepared anything substantial to write about. I went to the grocery store a bit ago for hot dogs and tasty dinner items for the weekend. Stay tuned. More to come later.

April 4th …

Just when we thought that Spring was making an entry, I got up today to this…

The Flow of Things …


I have always admired the way others see the world and what it represents to them and their children. So I am cross posting an excerpt from Cooper’s Blog so that you can share in the wonder and beauty of a father and his son. Read the entire post at Cooper’s Corridor.

A discussion between father and son, Dario 6 years old…

“…I am not a religious man. Nor am I a Christian. I am, however, spiritual. My own personal beliefs are perhaps a mixture of First Nations and Celtic druidism … the keen bond between nature and creation, the power of protection, the presence of mentors and healers, the use of music, storytelling, dance, and art as expressions of life, appreciation for the beauty and power of the sea, symbols such as light and darkness, a sacred relationship with trees, fire, stones, and other elements of nature, and an ability to move back and forth between this world and an “otherworld”.

When your heart and mind are open, very real portals exist to the unknown. Sweating, which is something I do yearly, is part of my spirituality, and helps me to reconnect my internal and external being as I experience what the Celtics referred to as the “thin places”, that wonderful sphere, unbounded by time and space, where all is possible.

I told Dario that heaven was the most beautiful place that each person could imagine in their mind, and that it was different for everyone. I explained the soul as “the part of you that makes you, YOU … that makes your mind think and your heart love.” I had also explained to him, that when you get very old, the parts of your body slowly stop working and you die and become a part of the earth again, and this is what happens to every living thing.”

Late Sunday Night …

Hello babies…


Sorry for my lack of writing as of late, I just haven’t felt like writing.  I’ve been hanging out in a new virtual community as of late. IMVU is a free web virtual community. You can join and build your avatar, they get you started, and then you build the avatar from looks to clothing and little perks here and there.

I joined a few months ago to reconnect to old friends from my past, and that relationship did not prosper and over the last few weeks fizzled into dust. It just goes to show you that two boys who grew up in the same community, grew so distant over twenty years that a friendship was utterly impossible. I moved out of the projects and became the man I am and it seemed my friend wanted to remain in the past and be rude and childish. I just cannot stand rude and immovable people.

I don’t live in the past, nor do I want to change who I’ve become. I guess honesty did not serve me too well with this outcome. Yes, It upset me that this took place, that nothing that I said or shared made a hill a beans difference. Some people cannot grow out of where they are, even with the right gardener tilling the soil. So I failed at reconnection, was that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m just not going to let people be rude to me or disrespectful. I’ve earned the life I have and I protect it as well…

So within IMVU you can purchase rooms and outfit them with all kinds of nodes and lights and music. It seemed that the gay community could not become cohesive as I see that the rooms have been taken down over the last twenty four hours. Implosion is the term I would use. It also speaks of truth. I don’t lie on my profile wanting to be 18 or 21 again, and it seemed that people could not be themselves even in the virtual world, which bothered me immensely.

Alas, truth always wins out. You cannot hide from who you really are. But I did find another community there run by an Aussie contingent of folks from halfway around the world. So that’s where I’ve been hanging out. Some good people, some great music and good conversation. You can find me at [Jeremiah1350] if you want to join and build an avatar and maybe join me for some fun.

Skool –

Skool starts tomorrow again. My studies in Theology continue with two evening classes on Monday and Wednesday evenings which is nice, I don’t have to get up in the morning if I don’t want to!! YAY !! I am reading some of the text that we will be using in class and I have already began to post excerpts from the Spirituality text, see below…

I love this quote:

“Spirituality is more about whether or not we can sleep at night than about whether or not we go to church. It is about being integrated or falling apart, about being within community or being lonely, about being in harmony with Mother Earth or being alienated from her. Irrespective of whether or not we let ourselves consciously shaped by any explicit religious idea, we act in ways that leave us either healthy or unhealthy, loving or bitter. What shapes our actions is our spirituality.”

What is your spirituality? Can you define it? Are you in touch with it, and if you are not would you be willing to consider it? So that we can have discussion on the topic???


The great warming has begun in Montreal as the temps are rising and rain is in the forecast for the next few days, all the snow will be melted and gone by then. I am sure will will get socked a few more times before Mother Nature Winter edition is finished with us, as February is not here yet and we haven’t had the great “Freeze” yet… Although it has been bitterly cold over the last few weeks, we have not had sustained FRIGID temperatures for days at a time like last winter… Let us Pray…

That is all for tonight’s update. More to come tomorrow…

Be well babies and stay tuned…

Wednesday ramblings…


Photo Courtesy of: Walking on Scorpions

Does it seem like you are always marching uphill? It is snowing [again] in Montreal. It started snowing last night and me thinks it has been snowing all day as well, not that I was paying attention to it, because I was sleeping. Oh the joy of being on academic holiday!!

It is a balmy [-8c with a wind chill of -17c] outside as the snow is being whipped up between the buildings in my neighborhood. Our balcony is covered in snow all the way back to the bedroom door.

I got an invitation from Ron at the [Int’l Carnival of Pozitivities] today to contribute to his project, which was very nice.  I had read all of the latest entries over the last few weeks, although I did not submit anything, it was nice to be asked. For anyone who is HIV positive coming to read – there is a multitude of posts over there in [Pages] for you to read. My collection of stories and assorted other gems are wonderful reads.

There are five shopping days left until Christmas, for those who have not yet finished their shopping. Hubby has been busy running all over town to finish his shopping, I had mine done over a week ago. No mall runnings for me.

Yesterday I gifted my favorite women at my home group, with their yearly traditional gift from the Willow Collection. They were very touched by the gesture. I had to say thank you for the ways that they have supported me in my sobriety, they baked me a cake for my birthday and brought me gifts just because and they also bought me my anniversary medallions. So a little thanks goes a long way.

Hubby will be leaving for the capitol on Friday providing the weather does not hamper bus traffic between the provinces. I will look forward to having that time to myself. It is very rare that I have two days to myself, so I take full advantage of that time. We got word from the government today that our January financial aide would be coming on the 27th of December which is very kewl – we can take some of that cash and pay off tuition bills and other assorted sundry bills that we have been trying to pay off for months. We always get what we need, when we live in the 24 hours day model.

Yesterday was kind of rough, I have to say. I came home from my meeting and I was visibly upset, I was moody and somewhat angry. I put up that Tall Ship post then I left a comment over on Steve’s blog, I wasn’t angry at you bud, I guess I am angry at disease and suffering. I am angry that the world operates on the [take a pill to make it better] method, I know about pills because I take enough of them to choke a horse daily. I WISH that the medical establishment could find cures for many of our medical situations thereby stemming the need to prescribe pills, give me a cure any day over a bottle of medication.

My contention with all these pills is this: There are too many pills on the market. And those who take pills for the sheer necessity of stemming a problem, without the forward action behind the pill taking, those pills will eventually fail you. We take a pill for what ever ails us, and many expect that to happen, and they do not put the same emotional energy to healing themselves, and yet they expect that magic pill to make the boogey men go away!! It takes a lot of work for me emotionally to generate the same force of power behind the medical power that my meds do as well. If one does not meet the pill energy with the same mental and emotional energy, the pills will eventually fail you.

I know full well that many of us take pills for problems that demand that we med up because if we do not, we will surely die or go insane. So I understand that sometimes pills are necessary to combat sickness, addiction, illness or disease. I believe I have mastered my disease therefore I dose as I believe is necessary – I don’t take one more pill than is necessary, even if it means countering a dosing mandate from my medical team. All they see is numbers and the forget that I know my body better than anyone else, and I have other powers at my disposal who have guided me in my quest for life.


There that is much better, some tunes to go with the writing, a little Matt White…

So now we are going to have some fun
Here is a MeMe from [Cooper’s Corridor]

Were you named after somebody?
Yes I was at one time, a soldier that my father had a relationship during the Viet Nam War, when I turned 30 I changed my name to suit my quest for survival. I could not live up to the formers valor and sacrifice.
When was the last time you cried?
I weep at the slightest provocation. I wept last night listening to one of my closest friends sob about her suffering, knowing I was powerless to make it stop.
Do you like your handwriting?
Yeah, it’s ok. I type much better…
What is your favourite lunch meat?
Smoked ham or turkey on baguette with sharp cheddar and a pickle.
Do you have kids?
I have two boys that I have been foster parent to for many years.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Yes. Absolutely!
Do you still have your tonsils?
No, they were removed when I was a little boy.
Would you bungee jump?
I don’t know. I have a sensible fear of heights
What is your favourite cereal?
Rice Krispies
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Yes, I love my shoes, I have at least one pair of shoes for every day of the week
Do you think you are strong?
I may not be superman, but I have the inner strength of a superhero, when it is necessary to apply that strength.
What is your favourite ice cream?
Breyer’s Strawberry Ice Cream
What is the first thing you notice about people?
The way they hold themselves, I look for their neon sign and their ability to look me in the eye when we speak.
Red or pink?
Red, blood red
What is the least favourite physical thing about yourself?
I have protease paunch from my medication which has mis-shapen my body facially and across my midsection.
Who do you miss the most?
My grandmothers, they were the women who helped me become the man I am.
What colour pants and shoes are you wearing?
I am wearing my SOBE cozies that I bought years ago when I was still living in Miami, sox and a t-shirt.
What was the last thing you ate?
Beef and Vegetable soup at 5 a.m. this morning before bed
What are you listening to right now?
I am listening to Matt White on my pod.
Favourite smells?
Freshly baked bread, falling snow, a crisp fall day on the mountain, my hubby has a particular scent that I quite like when he sleeps.
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
That would be my friend Karl. The other night.
Favourite sport to watch?
I love Ice Skating and Winter sports, and of course Collegiate wrestling.
Hair colour?
Light walnut Loreal color, ok so I am a vain old man, no gray hair on my head…
Eye colour?
Favourite Food?
Fresh baguette, a great steak, endless pasta
What colour shirt are you wearing?
A bergundy t-shirt
Winter or summer?
I love the Winter, the falling snow, the pristine landscape and untrod ground up on the mountain. It is too hot in the summer here.
Favourite dessert?
Anything chocolatey.
Hugs or kisses?
Hugs are nice, kissing is much nicer
What book are you reading now?
I just finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows this morning, I usually have more than one book working, Many Lives Many Masters and the Journey Home…
What is on your mouse pad?
Nothing, it is a plain black mouse pad.
What did you watch on TV last night?
I got home from my meeting and did some writing. Tuesday is always Boston Legal, I just love that show.
Favourite Sound?
Birdsong first thing in the morning, the whisper of Gods voice in the falling snow
Do you have a special talent?
I do. 😉
Where were you born?
New Britain, Ct. many years ago. I haven’t been back there in over 25 years

Photo Essay #17 Snow on Monday 12 hours in

Time: 1:57 p.m. Monday afternoon
Cabot Square in the Summer before…

There is at least a foot of snow on the ground and deeper in unplowed areas, and it is still snowing now 12 hours into this snow storm.


Cabot Square this afternoon…







Looking [back] down the street I have photographed from above


Out Front of our building


This is a 12 foot snow drift…



The corner / intersection next to our building…