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Honesty

Sunday Sundries … Cold with a chance of flurries

 

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It is Sunday, and this new interface is called “Calypso,” and I don’t like it at all. It is very wonky, and all JAVA, and is supposed to be better than sliced bread … Um, NO !

I want my old post editor back. Much more user friendly.

It is on the cold side, the past two nights. We saw flurries fall a couple of times today, but there is NO snow in the forecast in the next week.

It was an odd weekend. I saw the baby the other night, and she was sniffling and coughing. On Friday morning at approximately 5 a.m. i was hugging the bowl, sick as a dog for twelve hours.

I find that I am so thirsty for anything to drink, and I went to the store twice and spent $30.00 on drinkables, yet I could not quench that thirst, it was insane, not that I kept anything down enough to enjoy it. Hubby brought me meds after work, and I took them and was able to sleep until almost 11 p.m. because I was up so early and did not sleep all day long.

I had the funkiest dream … I was stuck in this warehouse of 70’s and 80’s stuff, like video games, toys and it got crazy when I was sitting in an old style Burger King, playing with toys and food. It just kept getting odder and odder, and it was never ending. Back in the day, I had specific toys, and things I liked. Roller skates, and Solid Gold on tv. It was just odd because I’ve never had visuals like this before.

Saturday, I had things to do, and responsibilities that I had to be present for, so there was no time to lay in bed and feel sick or sorry for myself. I had back to back meetings in another fellowship I belong to. During our two hour break between them, I had dinner with friends, down line, and we watched some John Oliver on You Tube.

We’ve been talking about rigorous honesty of late. It is funny, that the one section of my life that I wanted to forget and never talk about or mention to anyone, has become my greatest teacher, and brought me into the lives of men who have changed my life.

This morning, well, for a while now, I’ve been riding my pre-cake roller coaster, that 30 day period that comes before you take your anniversary cake, when your brain goes on overdrive, and one begins to obsess over needless and useless shit.

But this morning, I needed a brain drain, so I got up and opened a word document, and wrote my script for my share on my anniversary next Sunday. I had very specific things to say, so I wrote them down, so I would not fuck it up. It is going to be explosive.

Tonight we sat only a small number. Lots of people still out sick, and we did not empty the coffee urn once again. wasted coffee…

It was Tradition Night, and the eleventh month, means the eleventh tradition. Attraction rather than promotion. That topic of anonymity came up but not many people spoke towards it.

What I did have to say was that the first time I got sober, the room I was in was very nasty and not attractive at all, but that’s where I could hit a meeting, however harsh my peers were towards newcomers. That shitty experience, only added to my alienation from the program and my eventual slip. I had come in contact with enough assholes and homophobes that I was totally turned off with participation and sobriety.

The second time I came in, it was a whole other story. The right people showed up at the right moment, and were very good for me. And when I moved to Montreal, (read: No cell phones yet), I met great people who were attractive in many ways. They took me in and took care of me, and spent time with me, so I was not alone.

I remember one really fun memory… My sponsor at the time, Dave, took me to the mountain in the middle of the night, to climb.

There is a mountain in the middle of the city. There is a trail you can walk, up and down. But on this night, he said that we were going to climb to the top, up the side, and not use the trails. It was odd, but very fun. That was just one of the many attractive things that I did in early sobriety. The other was a few months in, 4 alcoholics climbed into a Toyota and drove all the way from Montreal to Nova Scotia on the Atlantic coast for some meetings, and a whale watching tour. That was 17 hours each way. It was fun but a bit irresponsible.

It was a good night. More to come, stay tuned…


Sunday Sundries … TRUTH set me FREE !!!

tumblr_nc9hsq2i2A1syuvebo1_500 jd2canadaCourtesy: JD2Canada

It’s beginning to feel like Summer, Finally !!! This week will see temps rise into the (30’s,c) and no rain in sight for a few days. However, there are many places out West on the Prairies, and in B.C. as well, who could use some serious rain. Wildfires are burning out of control in many places, and families have been displaced or have lost everything to the flames.

Yesterday was another banner day. Spending time with friends is something we all enjoy together. We hit the mall shopping like mad women, we had a meal, and then ice cream at Place Ville Marie, where we watched the Carifiesta Parade go by. Lots of Caribbean folks, with floats playing obnoxiously bad music, very loudly, as if to add insult to injury.

We hosted another full room once again. And we seem to be on a roll with one topic the past few days. It seems the readings from all the books, as we are reading them, all have mentioned or are based around the topic of money. Again…

I get to tell you another story about money.

The title of tonight’s read is, “Truth, set me free.”

Our writer, from the later 1930’s find himself in a pickle, and then attempts to get sober, with a small “beer experiment” that did not last very long. But one day, without the ability to pay his bills finds himself financially strapped. He walks into a bank and tells the officer that he needs funds, BUT that he is an alcoholic, and he is on his way, sober. The bank officer listens to him tell the truth, (even breaking his anonymity to do so) and she turns around and speaks to him about GOD, the “Divine Comforter.”

She does not know him from Adam, yet here she is telling him about trust, doing what is right, and talking about God.

She goes on to help him, even in his truth.

He walks away from this experience with what he needs.

A friend told a similar story that happened to him. Walking into a bank, breaking his anonymity, and walking out of a bank with a credit card, being broke at the time. The woman in the bank heard his truth, and she stepped up to help him anyways.

The next night he goes to an N.A. meeting. And who is the speaker that very night ?

But the very same woman he saw in the bank the day before.

IS THAT ODD OR IS THAT GOD ???

In early sobriety, I needed many things. Pots and pans, food for my fridge and some much needed cash. In the beginning they kept telling me to go to more meetings. I did that.

My experience thus far tells me that If I have a need, that I should always bring that need to a meeting. If you have something that is on your mind, or a need you really NEED, then take it to a meeting, and SPEAK your Truth.

God seems to like us addicts and alcoholics, because you would be very surprised to hear me tell you that, in the last almost fourteen years, I’ve never had to go outside the circle of A.A. for ANYTHING.

Take it to a meeting.

That is sane, sound, advice I tell all of my friends and fellows.

I share this at meetings.

Because you would be surprised to hear someone share something they need, and inside that very hour, get positive responses and almost always, a solution.

I can’t tell you how many times that happened for me over the years.

When I was in the hole, and I needed help, I always asked for it.

And every single time I did that, HELP appeared.

God did for me what I could not do for myself, and to this day, he continues to do so for me and countless others.

I don’t know what it is about God, to do things like that, but every single time I needed help, the right alcoholic was there at the right moment.

Example …

We were in the middle of classes one term, a number of years ago, and my desktop computer crashed and burned, and was in dire need of repair. We did not have the $200.00 to pay that kind of bill. I went to a meeting and spoke that truth. At the end of the meeting a member walked up to me and handed me $200.00 in cash. We were totally floored.

Over and Over again, sober members helped me out in ways that I could not imagine.

IS THAT ODD OR IS THAT GOD ???

The book talks about rigorous honesty in all our affairs. And it also talks about having HAD a spiritual awakening as a result of THESE steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in ALL our affairs.

Half measures availed us nothing.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

If we are honest from the start, I can attest that God will do for you what you could not do for yourself. In EVERY area of your life. But you gotta get honest and tell the TRUTH.

More to come, stay tuned …