Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. Parliament Hill Ottawa. A Wordpress Production


Thursday – If I sit down …

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It is December and it has been one hell of a week so far. There is much to say, and there has been plenty of opportunity to speak words, or better yet, write them down. Tonight is that night.

Tuesday was December 1st, World AIDS Day. The yearly date when we honor all those who have died, and for those of us who survived that period of tragic times, we remember.

A particular story came to mind on Tuesday, that I thought about writing down “Again” but decided against it. Suffice to say that those of us who were diagnosed with AIDS or today, HIV, we go from Hero to Zero in no time flat.

Back in the day, AIDS was a death sentence. Today they call it a “manageable condition!” Every new diagnosis under ANY circumstances is very sad.

You would think, in today’s gay community, and for that matter, anywhere in the world, that an ounce of prevention would go a long way, yet there are those who continually decide to play Russian Roulette with their lives. Or are caught up in behavior that is detrimental.

One cannot claim ignorance about disease today.

There are still millions of reasons why we can’t stop marking this day, until a cure is found, that would be available to every single human being, to eradicate this scourge.

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Once again, now in the U.S., two deranged killers walked into a service center, and killed 14 people in cold blood, and injured many others.

This is just terrible. And there are not enough words to say that is going to make a hill of beans difference, to those who could do something, but they don’t. There aren’t enough prayers to be said, or vigils to attend that are going to change anything.

Sometimes it is well and good to just not say anything, because someone already has said what we are all thinking, and we are powerless to do a god damned thing.

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Sometime last weekend, I did something to my back. I am not sure what it was, or when it happened, but I have never felt the degree of pain I am feeling today, in all my life. My back is killing me, and I have resorted to taking pain killers just to be ambulatory.

Addicts and painkillers are not a good mix.

At least here, I can phone up my pharmacy and get over the counter medication. In many Canadian pharmacies, they keep assorted drugs behind the counter, so if you know this, that opens up treatment. I don’t need a script nor do I need to see my doctor, but I will see him on the tenth, if I survive that long …

This afternoon baby mama came over to use my computer and as we sat together, she remarked that etched on my face was the look of pain. I can sit down, but there is no guarantee that I will be able to get back up. During our visit, I had several Holy Shit, moments, where I thought I was going to pass out.

I have only so many pills left, before I need a doctors note, and it is the weekend, so no doctor till next week now. And I sure as shit ain’t going to no E.R. because I will sit there for hours and hours, um NO!

It has been rainy / cold the past few days. Rain, that falls in conjunction with below zero temps, means ice on sidewalks.

I half thought to stay home tonight, but decided to go to St. Matthias and hit a meeting. I left earlier than usual, because walking, reaching, bending and stooping is quite the task, which requires some serious deep breathing and equilibrium.

I got to the church and visited with friends before the meeting, and as a friend sat next to me, I had a Holy Shit moment, and I told her that if I sit down, for any amount of time, that I may not be able to get back up.

I waited until the seventh tradition was started and tried to get up, gritting my teeth, because I had to pee … That was a tedious moment for sure. I did get up, but it wasn’t pleasant.

It was a good meeting, nonetheless.

I was talking to my sponsor and a few friends on Tuesday night, and I was explaining that I was riding that “roller coaster of insanity” and what was going on in my head and they responded with, “yup, you are one of us …”

We pushed my cake back until the 20th, because next Sunday is early, and my anniversary falls on Wednesday the 9th. And superstition dictates that you never take a medallion early.

The 13th, is my sponsors Home Group Anniversary on the West End at Loyola. So He will be there, while I do service at my Sunday Home Group. Which leaves the 20th as the first Sunday we can both be in the same place at the same time.

What is good about living in Canada, is this … When shit goes down anywhere else, the media goes crazy. And for the most part, for what it is worth, Most shit going down elsewhere, has nothing to do with us, and when necessary, which is often, I can either turn the channel, shut down my computer, or turn the tv off …

There is so much tragedy. I can only take so much saturation about death and destruction, not to mention, Republican Presidential hopefuls.

I have little patience for crock of shit politics.

Thank God for cable t.v.

More to come, stay tuned …

November 20, 2015 … 11 years



11 years ago tonight, with family and friends present, we exchanged vows and spoke sacred words. Today, we continue to live into those words. Tonight, we had dinner at the fabulous FIRE GRILL, once again.

I have shared before that there are three restos, that are at the top of the budget when it comes to dining out …

  • Fire Grill
  • Rueben’s Smoked Meats
  • Baton Rouge

This short list is a foodies paradise of good eats.

I am grateful that I live in Canada. Due to recent events, in the world, people are at odds, and words are being spoken, that are totally, out of left field. I’m not sure most folks, politicians and leaders alike, know what they are saying.

My tight group of friends are at odds with each other, because of differing views of current events, and what each of them thinks, as to what we should do and how we should do it.

The ties of friendship are being tested. And if a second conversation that needs to take place, because the first one began and ended badly, doesn’t heal the rift, I am afraid that my circle will be broken over non-negotiable statements.

We are Canadian. And we, for the most part, share Canadian values, and for some, that is not good enough. Everybody has a right to their opinions, because of their origins, how they were educated, and how they each decide to live their lives.

No One Person has the definitive answer, because, let’s face it, we don’t. I don’t think a real, tangible, solid, workable answer is possible amid the heat of argument and prejudice.

Let us keep each other in our thoughts …

Notice I did not say “prayers…”

Religion has become a dirty word. People are choosing to incriminate all, due to the actions of “a few.” And that does not bode well, for an entire community of people, world wide.

One day we will see this for what it really is, and we will shake our heads and say to each other …”Was I really that stupid?”

Yes, we really are that stupid.

At least I can unfollow people. And I can turn the channel, and better yet, I can totally turn off my computer when it all gets to be too much of hateful overload.

More to come, stay tuned …


Je Suis Europe

je suis europe

Live Long and Prosper – I Have Been and Always Shall Be Your Friend

leonard-nimoy-spock-star-trek-2Leonard Nimoy died today – He was 83 years old

What would our collective lives look like had Star Trek not been part of them.

I was born in 1967, and grew up in the decades that followed. The Star Trek series on tv was part of our lives from early on in my life. These pivotal characters Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Chekov, Scotty, and Sulu especially, created a world for us to be part of.

Growing up in a time when the Star Wars to begin with, followed by Star Trek motion pictures, was an event. To go to the theatre to see these films, was spectacular. One film followed another, and there was that intense anticipation of the next film coming down the pike.

There was no internet or torrents nor any other cheat to get that next sneak peek.

You had to wait for the next feature film release.

Star Wars was more Cathartic for me, Star Trek was an adventure. We anticipated both sets of films equally, as they were released. I think that anticipation made it all so much better. The not knowing and the way each film played out, was part of the movie going experience.

We learned a great deal about those characters, and they, in turn, informed us about our own lives and how we see the world, and treat others, in that world. The notion of the Federation of Planets, was akin to, I would think, the United Nations.

And we all know how that federation turned out !!! Not so much …

The evolution of Star Trek was a huge part of my growing up. Seeing the cast move from the small screen to the Silver Screen was amazing. To watch them grow into themselves on film was very different from who they were on tv.

Spock was that integral part of all the films. He was the one who spoke wisdom and patience and he stepped up to save his friends from ultimate death, and in the end, died himself to save others.

And I remember the anticipation of the Search For Spock, and what would happen in the next film, and weren’t we all surprised when we found out that he indeed did regenerate from the Genesis device and was back in our lives.

The whole theatre cheered for him.

He always had played that crucial part of logic and also humor in later films. He endeared himself to the public through his humanity.

Now in this generation, J.J. Abrams brought us the next incarnation of Star Trek for a whole new generation. And Spock plays that crucial role of mentor to the younger Spock (Zachary Quinto). This was a true tribute to the character of Spock and the longevity of his life on film and as part of the collective consciousness of the world. He brought the titular character back, to hand off his history into the hands of the younger, to take into his new life and role of the keeper of the Vulcan people.

In the 1980’s with the dawn of the VCR and the Beta Max machine, we had all the great films in our collective “collection” that we watched over and over and over again.

Start Trek morphed into the television series du jour. All of those incarnation of the Star Trek theme own their success to the longevity of the Star Trek name and its history.

  • Star Trek Deep Space Nine
  • Star Trek The Next Generation
  • Star Trek Enterprise
  • Star Trek Voyager
  • The Star Trek Next Generation Film Series
  • And countless Star Trek specials

Star Trek, in its long life has carried generations of humans into Worlds Unknown.

“Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Star Ship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

Well that Five Year Mission has lasted generations.

Spock holds a hallowed place and memory in my life, and I think that goes the same for all of us.

We will miss him. And we honor him today. God Speed Spock.

Eternal Rest Grant Him and May Perpetual Light Shine upon Him.