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Life on Life’s terms

Sunday Sundries … Kicking and Screaming

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Courtesy: James Clear – Flickr

It isn’t snowing, yet … But we are hovering right around ( +2c with a low of -2c) tonight.

And I just love this photo as well.

It is a bit chilly out. And last night we turned the clocks back, which fucked up overnight radio, but I slept a good night’s sleep anyways. Some folks did not get the memo over the weekend, and some of our number were all discombobulated worrying that they would be late, when in reality, they did not turn their clocks back last night.

I’ve been noticing that some bus stops have been moved farther away from their original locations, and now we have to walk farther to get a bus than the local usual stop. And the city workers have pulled up many flowerbeds and planters in anticipation of the coming snows.

They city does that, they plant great flower beds and tall growing plants in planters located all around the intersections all over town. Knowing that when it snows, those plants and flowers stand no chance of survival once snow begins to pile up, so they dig them up early, and most probably, they end up in a compost heap somewhere.

I got to the church, and I was soon followed by new people to make coffee, set up and greet. With numbers of folks, set up takes mere minutes. Then we all waited.

At 6 the bells ring in the bell tower. Most of the chairs were still empty. I figured that folks were slow today because of the time change, but in the end we sat a full house. This month one of our women who is new to the program and just crossed her year, is chairing for the first time, and that is always exciting. We are all so proud of her.

We are one more story closer to the end of the book, with the reading of “A Late Start.”

“It’s been ten years since I retired, seven years since I joined A.A. Now I can truly say that I am a grateful alcoholic.”

After reading a story like this one, one can easily say, “better late than never.”

Our woman who writes this story, had a life, a family, and everything else that came with it. Then, one by one, she began loosing things. First a child, then a husband, and her life soon followed. Drinking came late, but did not spare her suffering. No matter what age you start drinking, the end point is always the same for those of us who just can’t stop.

She came, she saw, and she scoffed. For a long time, she listened and at least she kept showing up. Like many people we see today, coming to and then the coming to believe is a tall order. The other kicker in this story is our writers inability to admit powerlessness over the drink. Many of us fight tooth and nail to maintain control, in some way, and end up kicking and screaming all the way to the bank, until we finally become willing to admit we are licked.

Many, have to come to the point that they are willing to be willing.

We hear the same words. We read the same slogans. And in time we either find it, or we end up warming a chair until that magic moment that we become part of. And in our writers case, after some time in sobriety she says, quite pointedly that “she will never be responsible to or for anyone else ever again!”

It took her years to become willing. YEARS.

Eventually she reached the point that she was ready and willing to give it away, and work with another alcoholic.

But as the book says in A Vision for You … “Obviously, you cannot transmit something you haven’t got!”

I heard a friend say tonight that it was his experience that he is stubborn, like our writer tonight.

“NO, I don’t need your help,

Fuck you,

Help me …

NO, I don’t want to talk to you,

Call me … “

Am I coming or am I going?

I am hearing a very familiar message from our women, who are homed at our Sunday group. They have all had the experience of getting sober and coming to and then coast for a number of years. At some point in the game they realized that they were stagnant, and they needed a pick me up. And so they found other women who knew the way into living in the book, in the steps and in the solution.

And now they’ve all really “Come to Believe” that the only way to LIVE IT is to be IN IT.

To be IN it to WIN it…

Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.

Nothing gives me/us more pleasure than to try and make a difference in another human beings life in that most important period of time, the twenty minutes before and the twenty minutes after. We got all the way around the room, and while we ate cake, we talked to each other. Trying to give hope that things WILL eventually get better. You just got to stick around and believe that WE believe in you and are here for you as well. And that simple statement can change a life in ways one would never expect.

Our five year celebrant this evening has just come off a climb of Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa …

That little tid bit of information got everybody going. It was very exciting.

I reiterated the thought about your chair, and learning to get comfortable in your chair, and to listen from your chair and that eventually, you will say something from your chair, that will change someones life, so stick around.

The only thing you have to change in sobriety is EVERYTHING. That’s what the book says.

And you know how control freak alcoholics resist change as if change was fire …

Eventually we learn that to let go, make the admission, come, and then come to, that is when life begins to change, and don’t you want to turn it around and help another alcoholic? That’s the whole point. To get better, to learn and to change, and then allow your experience, strength and hope to bring another human on board.

In order to keep it, we must give it away.

I think we did that in spades tonight.

We laughed, we cried, we ate CAKE !!!

A good night was had by all.

More to come, stay tuned…