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MA in Theology

Major Fail …

I’ve never been one to fail at anything in my life. And surviving this long has been work. Hard Work. I don’t usually give up a fight without a fight in return.

But we could say that today was a great F A I L …

I know it’s over and I don’t have to worry about coursework for the near future. I did not do my best. And that is the truth. I could of cared less what I wrote on those two rewrites. This has been coming for months now.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.


Sometimes the answers come …

And sometimes we don’t want to see them as they come, not ready to accept the inevitable. But I’ve been praying about this situation for months. I have spoken to spiritual men in many places. And today I went to church and the sermon was all about “Change” and be able to accept it when it came.
I have known for a long time that I was not enjoying this MA career. I am not cut out to be a scholar. I emailed the director of the MA program the other day and today I got his response. The department won’t be backing me to continue, and I am a failure in their eyes. Nothing like throwing someone under the bus.
Here is the response:
Your “MA career” has depended solely on your performance. We have done everything we could to assist you. Given that you are a first case in my tenure as GPD who has done so poorly in the MA, I have to check with SGS to see what the proper procedure to follow will be. Since I had an exam yesterday and had to be available to the students days before the exam, I could not follow up on your case. But I will contact SGS tomorrow first thing in the morning and inquire about the procedure.
I don’t know what to say at this point other than we do not plan to support your continuation in the program. Of course, there are other steps along the way, including appeals, which you can consider if you feel that you disagree with our decision. The Graduate Calendar has information about those steps.
Also, I do not know if it is a good idea for you to follow the courses you plan to take starting tomorrow. I will be able to confirm that only after I talk to SGS. Right now, you are still in the program and feel free to pursue the best course of action for you at this time.
Sincerely,
Lucian Turcescu, GPD
Theological Studies
So now I am working out what to do for money. I sent a resume through Monster to Indigo/Chapters – I’ve always wanted to work in a book store. Wouldn’t that be so cool. My resume is on the blog and I am going to put one in on Monster.com as well.
Donald said that if you aren’t enjoying what you are doing then maybe it is time to do something different. It isn’t a bad thing to find out that you aren’t cut out for higher academic studies.
I am also considering relocation to an anglophone province to find work, that would be Toronto. Donald suggested that I take a week and go down and investigate what there is to see. You never know if opportunity is waiting for you. So we will see. I need to figure out the money situation right now.
As for my MA career, it is over … And that’s ok. At least I know now I can move on and find something else to do.
More to come, stay tuned …

Friday Follies …

I did not sleep well last night, and did not nap well today either. My brain is spinning 100 km/hr and I am not sure what to do now. I spent the morning with my spiritual adviser, Rev Joyce. We talked and that was about it. Then we prayed and I set off for the Dept.

There was nobody in the office when I got there and so I just came home. I did get my other two grades. I got an (A-) in Hermeneutics and a (B-) in Samuel – Old Testament studies.

My MA adviser did not write me back. And I don’t know how to read his silence on my request from the other night. Are they going to help me stay on or are they going to toss me out???

I don’t know.

That’s all for now. What should I do now???


Never Write in the middle of the night when the commmitte is in session …

My spirits are sinking fast. I don’t know where I stand at the moment academically. The warning signs are there, but no contact has been made in the form of punishment, but I don’t think it will be very long before it happens. Maybe someone in the department will step up and lobby for me to continue. But I am not going to lobby, it just doesn’t seem right to do that. Seeing that I rewrote those two papers on a lark and ended up with C grades…

I had complained to one of my spiritual advisers that I was not enjoying what I was doing, and the more I pray and think about it I am coming to the conclusion that a change may be in the works like the inevitable.

I’ve sent a couple of emails to several ministers in the city to sit down and talk with them about what I should do next and to see if they can help me reorient my life in another direction and put to use the 2 degrees I already have in some pastoral ministry capacity.

I am going to be canvasing the AIDS groups here in the city, I also thought about going to Toronto to see if I could find a job there, which would mean a dual household, not sure if that is feasible at the moment, but an English province is better suited to me than a bilingual province that demands bilingualism …

I also am going to check with the hospitals in the area to see if I can find a position in the pastoral ministry field at these locations. Lots to think about and ponder over the next few days.

Summer classes start on Monday and I am not sure I should show up and face someone telling me that I am no longer welcome. So there are still two days this week for news so we shall see what happens.

I know that there are jobs waiting for me in other provinces, but I can’t ask hubby to uproot when he just got accepted into the MA in Sociology for the fall. That would not be fair. But maybe I can find a good job that pays the bucks we need to be able to work where ever I want to work.

Any of you with suggestions would greatly be appreciated.

More to come, stay tuned…


The "C" Rule …

I broke the C rule … I imagine that I will be withdrawn from the program shortly. Not sure if they will allow me to stay in the program. This could be the end of my academic career…

C Rule

Graduate students who receive more than one C grade during the course of their studies will be withdrawn from the program unless continuation in the program is requested by the student’s program or Faculty and approved by the Dean of Graduate Studies. Course-based programs in the John Molson School of Business apply a term-by-term GPA requirement. Students should refer to the section on Academic Standing in their program’s calendar entry. Students who have been withdrawn may apply for re-admission (see Re-Admission of Withdrawn Students in Graduate Registration section). Students who receive another C after re-admission will be withdrawn from the program and will not be considered for re-admission. Individual programs may have more stringent regulations; students should check their program’s entry or with the Graduate Program Director.

Re-Admission of Withdrawn Students

Students who have been withdrawn from a graduate program may wish to be considered for re-admission into the program. Normally, students must have been withdrawn from the program for a minimum of five terms in order to be reconsidered. If recommended by the program, these students will then be considered as a new admission, i.e., new application, transcripts etc.

Reinstatement of Withdrawn Students

Students who have been withdrawn from a graduate program may wish to submit a Student Request form requesting reinstatement to the program. This request is to be submitted for consideration during the same term in which the student was withdrawn.


The “C” Rule …

I broke the C rule … I imagine that I will be withdrawn from the program shortly. Not sure if they will allow me to stay in the program. This could be the end of my academic career…

C Rule

Graduate students who receive more than one C grade during the course of their studies will be withdrawn from the program unless continuation in the program is requested by the student’s program or Faculty and approved by the Dean of Graduate Studies. Course-based programs in the John Molson School of Business apply a term-by-term GPA requirement. Students should refer to the section on Academic Standing in their program’s calendar entry. Students who have been withdrawn may apply for re-admission (see Re-Admission of Withdrawn Students in Graduate Registration section). Students who receive another C after re-admission will be withdrawn from the program and will not be considered for re-admission. Individual programs may have more stringent regulations; students should check their program’s entry or with the Graduate Program Director.

Re-Admission of Withdrawn Students

Students who have been withdrawn from a graduate program may wish to be considered for re-admission into the program. Normally, students must have been withdrawn from the program for a minimum of five terms in order to be reconsidered. If recommended by the program, these students will then be considered as a new admission, i.e., new application, transcripts etc.

Reinstatement of Withdrawn Students

Students who have been withdrawn from a graduate program may wish to submit a Student Request form requesting reinstatement to the program. This request is to be submitted for consideration during the same term in which the student was withdrawn.


Act as If (Redux) …

The weather right now is frightful. The snow began early this morning, on Tuesday. And at 10 p.m. this night, it is still snowing. It is cold, windy, rainy and snowy all at the same time. Just miserable. This is the kind of weather that keeps people from coming out to a meeting.

You really get to see who the dedicated people are on days like today. And just as I suspected my 10 core members of our Tuesday Beginners meeting people showed up for the early meeting. I can always count on them to come. As I was chair for the month of April. But at the business meeting tonight, things are not so rosy. Our numbers that have been down have taken a chunk of money from the kitty. We just barely made rent this month, in collection terms. We still have 3 months prudent reserve with about $100.00 extra in the bank, so we are good with that. But if our numbers don’t pick up in the coming weeks things may get dicey.

My topic for the night was “Act as if …” I had forgotten my beginners book on my way out tonight, so I went with what was in my head at the moment. So that’s what we talked about. Faking it until you make it.

I’ve been living on Acting as If for the last week. I am not a scholar, by any stretch of the imagination. I am not a writer of stellar papers, and I knew going into this last week, that my MA career was on the edge of being ended. My two grades came in that I was waiting on. The last one came in tonight. I made 2 C’s. That is not good news because I need to maintain a GPA of 3.0 to stay good in the program. I am hoping that the 2 grades for Hermeneutics and my OT class are above board. With this I am confident, because I have done well all semester so I should bump up my GPA with those 2 grades.

At least I know I passed, to a degree. Now I have to face my MA adviser and be told that I need to do better. I know what I have to do, if I want to succeed. I think I want to stay in school for the time being. I can’t afford to quit now. I am not fluent enough in French to get a job in this city. If I am truly honest, there are plenty of other cities I could move to tomorrow and get a job doing what I want to do with a career based on the two degrees I have at the moment.

We had a good speaker at the 8 o’clock meeting from the West Island. It was good to hear the message tonight. We had a good group of people show up, but the weather did not help matters tonight. My friend Dave was up from the States for the meeting tonight. It is always nice to see him. We get the odd “out of towner” now and then, more during the summer usually.

Other than than, there’s not much else to report.

More to come, stay tuned …


Completion …

Another productive day was had by all. Hubby is well on his way to completing his next task for his classes. And tonight I finished my last paper for my OT class on Samuel. It wasn’t as difficult as I had first thought. I had all my books and notes written down and all my citations listed. It went pretty easily.

Tomorrow I turn in my paper and return the stack of books that have been sitting on my dining room table for weeks. And the wait continues to see whether or not I make it to the next semester. Let us Pray …

The next set of classes begins on the 3rd of May. I am registered for two classes, one is a graduate course and the other is not. It’s all good.

More tomorrow, stay tuned…


Saturday Late Late Edition …

So it’s late. I should be in bed reading and listening to the radio. In a few minutes. It has been a quiet weekend for us. We did a little supermarket safari today and hubby cooked us a nice dinner.

The day was spent lazing around the apartment. I have been working on my final paper for Samuel, which is due on Monday. It is coming along nicely. I’ve got 9 pages typed up at this hour. My notes translated really well, from my in class presentation, it’s a good thing I noted where my citations came from. Tomorrow will be another writing day and I should finish it up by tomorrow night some time. I am riding a wave of inspiration for this paper, I am hoping to carry my gpa further in this class. I just need to stay focused and not ramble or make any stupid mistakes.

That’s about it for the moment. I think I should get to bed.

More tomorrow. stay tuned…


Act as If …

So after the day has come and gone, I had a long chat with hubby. My future is in the hands of the professors now grading my papers. I either make the cut or I don’t. So we both decided that we would act as if. So tomorrow I am going to Financial Aide to work out my tuition deferral so I can register for Summer classes. I have emailed the department secretary with my class schedule, because she has to put it into the system for me.

If all goes to plan and I make the cut then I will be taking the following classes:

Theo 639 – Augustine’s Confessions – We touched on this in Hermeneutics
Mon – Wed from 6:30 to 9:00 p.m. With Pamela Bright
May 3 – 16 June Session 1

Theo 202 Introduction to Biblical Studies –
Mon – Wed from 3:30 to 6:00 p.m. with Matthew Anderson
June 28 – Aug 9 Session 2

I need another course to fill out my credit requirements for Quebec Aide.

All I can do is wait, and Pray …

Act as if … a very sober lesson.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Goodnight from Montreal.


Monday Update …

Another productive day was had by all. Now we start praying for good grades. I turned in the 2 papers that were due this afternoon. I think they are both good papers, I was up until the sun came up this morning working on them, which means I did not get much sleep today. I napped during the afternoon to be ready for class tonight.

O M G … I just looked at my synchronic paper for Samuel. I got a B+

Holy Shit!!

I got a B on my annotated bibliography as well. This bodes well for me going into the final diachronic paper. This is very good news. Success this semester will help me along the path. Seeing that I did poorly last semester. I have been fearful of my progress all term. I have that one paper for Hermeneutics that I turned in today, I hope that she likes what I wrote.

Tomorrow I turn in my Origen paper. I sat down with hubby and I worked on it for three hours after class. It rounds out to 13 pages. Again I have an issue with quotations and being able to sort them out in my own words, which is my I had to rewrite papers for last term. Origen was a difficult task trying to put into my own words all the text I quoted. In the end hubby checked it over and said it looked good. Let’s hope that my prof sees it the same way.

Tomorrow is Tuesday. I have to turn in the paper, go to the store to get coffee and sugar and hit the meeting.

Please keep me in your prayers. Until tomorrow …

More to come, stay tuned …


Monday Madness …

It is 4:00 a.m. and Facebook was running SOOOO slow it took me half an hour to visit all my friends farms like I do every night after feeding my pup.

The weather has not been pretty, cold and rainy, although there was a rumor that we would have snow, but it is too warm for that. Thank God.

It was a productive day today. Paper wise. I finished writing my 10 page analysis paper for Hermeneutics. Pamela told us on the last class that after the productive class we had that the spirit moved everyone so much that all she said was that we would know what to do. So I went over my notes. I reread my journal entries, I surveyed the book a bit, and sat down and wrote. It took me a few sits to finish it, I hope I nailed the assignment. In the end I wrote what was on my heart about ecclesial discourse and with what’s going on in the church I spoke my peace, and for good measure I attached the open letter from Hans Kung to the bishops of the world. Let Us Pray …

I also finished working on Sophia. It is a much slimmer paper. I gambled on this project seeing that I was set on the Apocryphon of John. I didn’t find many sources that I had not already cited, so I got rid of the excess wording, I wrote a new introduction and added to the analysis portion and rechecked it for readability. It seemed to flow alright. It is 13 pages verses the 20 that it was when it was returned for a rewrite. Better to be safe than sorry was my logic behind it. I really hated this class and I don’t know how it will go over, if I fail, I fail. It would hasten the end of my MA career if it did.

Tomorrow I turn in these two papers.

I have to finish the rework on Origen tomorrow for a Tuesday deadline. Hubby is going to assist me in this endeavor. Once again, the sources that I used for the first paper came directly from a private library of the Origen Master at the Theology department. The library does not carry the books in community so I did not get to resource my citations. Another gamble. Once again, if I fail, I fail. The decision to continue in the MA program would be made for me, I would not have to ponder the thought any more.

But, you never know, I may make it through. I haven’t registered for the summer yet. There is only 1 course on tap that I could take on Augustine with Pamela Bright. If I pass then I will register, if I fail, then we will have to sort out plan B. And right now there isn’t a plan B on the table.I may need a job if I fail. Because we won’t be able to live here if I don’t bring in money via financial aide. So I am either going to get one huge gift or I am going to get royally FUCKED !!!

I am taking a huge gamble. Let Us Pray …

That is all, time for bed.

More to come, stay tuned …


Late Night Musings …

I bought a puppy in Farmville and his feeding time is 3:35 a.m. every morning. I have read through the Farmville forums and found that you can’t change a feeding time. So I am stuck having to sit and wait for 3:35 to come every morning to feed him (Bonkers).

I got a good portion of reading done tonight. I went to the library earlier on Wednesday to photocopy some chapters from a couple of books. I mean, really, what else can you say about Sophia from the Apocryphon of John. Everyone says the same thing. She was, she wanted to create like God, she didn’t get approval, so she did it anyway, it was an abortion, and was pushed out of the pleroma, she repented and was reinstated. that’s about it.

I am working on my 10 page paper for Hermeneutics, that should be coming along nicely in the next couple of days. I need to go back over some of the reading. She taught us the fine art of academic reading, so that will help.

That old song, “Should I stay or should I go” is playing in my head. I’ve been pondering a lot of thought these past few weeks. I haven’t made a decision yet on this front yet. People read this blog, so I can’t give it away just yet.

I’m getting comments from old friends lately and I am grateful to them for stopping by. I updated my links on the blog so they are all active links.

I think I am going to go to bed now.

More to come, stay tuned …


Courage to Change …

“When I was a newcomer I was one of those whom others “viewed with alarm” and so was my group. I was very young, female, dually addicted, and very socially unacceptable. And my group included every type of alcoholic that old timers feared most: young people, addicts, people with mental illnesses, minority races, those with various belief structures or no belief at all, bikers, convicts, gays and lesbians. The amazing thing is that most of us stayed sober, despite all the dire predictions. Why? Because the two things we had in common were more important than all our differences. We were alcoholics and we believed in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.”

Beginners Book, Getting and staying sober in AA… Stories from the Grapevine.

It was a beautiful day today. The sun was shining, it was neither hot nor cold, but a comfy in the middle kind of day. The kind of day that makes you wanna fuck off the whole day and go hang out in Old Montreal. The Old Port is a great place to hang out and do nothing. Sit by the water, watch the boats go by, walk around the old part of the city and window shop. There are some really great shops in Old Montreal. You gotta live here to get it though. These are the days when people start coming out of their winter hibernation holes and they come out to sit on the grass at the old port and people watch. Maybe this weekend.

I spoke to Louise this afternoon. She told me about her surgery and that after it was all over with, she didn’t remember it happening. Thank God for good drugs. The nurse comes every day to change the dressings and the drainage ports are working correctly. She is in good spirits and was very happy on the phone which was a good thing. One day at a time…

I got the the church with plenty of time to set up. It was a Madonna day today. I’ve been watching a lot of Madonna in Buenos Aires on the computer. I don’t know if I like Hard Candy better than the Confessions Tour. They are both good shows.

We had a good showing for the early meeting. Courage to change was my topic for the meeting. It went over well, people enjoyed the topic, we have a good group of regular folk who aren’t afraid to share what is on their minds.

We had a small group for the 8 o’clock meeting. The message was short and sweet and to the point. And Rick and I broke down and got out on time. It has only been us two for the last few weeks to break down. None of the other members hang around for the second meeting to help us. Although the attendees do help us stacking chairs and storing the tables.

I have 6 days to finish all my course work, hubby is helping me polish one of my papers, I am working on a second and my Hermeneutics essay is due on the 19th as well. Lots to do in the next few days.

If you are a reader of the blog and you Face Book, look me up.

That’s all for tonight. Time to go harvest…

More to come, stay tuned …


Extension

So I wrote my prof last night before I went to bed. I asked for an extension for my papers, and today they granted me just that. So my new deadline is April the 20th for final submission.

Wow, that is such a load off my shoulders, you can’t imagine…