Loving the Sacred through Word and Image. AIDS – THIS IS MY PRIDE – SURVIVAL !!! A Wordpress Production

Time

Thursday … Hoping for Spring … and … Time

$_57The weather is slowly starting to get better. We are still in the mid teens on the minus side at night, and single minus digits during the day. And by next Wednesday, snow or rain, with a temp of PLUS (2c) …This would be our first positive temp all season long.

Usually, as seasons go, by the end of winter, temps rise enough for rain to fall, which begins washing away snow, salt and all that crap that has been buried for the entire season.

The negative, is all the trash, cigarette buts, and clutter that has been buried all winter appears out of the snow. Which sends city workers into a frenzy to clean it all up, which takes a long time.

Today was a mixed bag. I really had no plans for the day, but I knew when I hit the end of the dream that was going on in my head, as I lay in bed, I wasn’t going to stay in bed any longer. So I got up.

I had thought of doing laundry over the weekend, but I had plenty of time to do it this afternoon, so I dropped my laundry into a machine, did my grocery shopping and cleaned up around, I killed several birds at once. I set them to dry and came back down and showered and I was in a Spring Shopping Mood, and I have been “Spring Shopping” online for a few days now, Looking, Listing and Saving stuff for future purchase.

A Wish List is a useful tool.

I know better than to impulse shop before I’ve investigated my options. So while my clothes were drying, I took a stroll to a new sneaker shop that recently opened, up the block. They paid good money to have someone come and paint a huge mural on the side of the building that faces my building, it was a good visibility decision. (but now they are building a super condo building just beside it which is going to ruin its visibility).

High End Sneakers is Big Business.

Usually, you get a sneak peek, or a shop will pop up in a city for a limited run, or there are underground high end shops located in several cities world wide, that are not known by the general public and only for those who “know” where they are and know the code word to get past the front door. (That is a thing)

In the past, I’ve had to employ good sleuthing to find sneakers online. My Tumblr and Google, and Ebay and a bank account are what I use today. So I went to this store. There were two guys having a conversation in French, while I browsed. Neither acknowledged me in the store.

They had a select line of sneaker, some more ostentatious than others, the wilder the style, the higher the price. Prices ranged from $150 cad to $250 cad. That was way out of my budget. I saw variations on styles I already own, but nothing I considered buying. It was a short visit.

I returned home and resorted to my original thought. I opened Ebay and began to surf. The Spring line is out across the web, and I had a list of stuff I had seen online recently. There were several styles that I was looking at, by color, style, maker and price.

I ended up with the sneaker pictured above. Men’s Adidas, D Rose 3.5 Black, Red and White.

I am an Adidas man, Shoes, Clothing and Sports gear. These rare shoes clock in a $160.00. I had a refund sitting in my account for twenty dollars, and these came to a final price of $68.00 plus shipping, which brought it close to $100.00. I paid less than $100.00 in total. I made my sale before 5 p.m. And as I walked of of the meeting at 9 p.m. They had already been shipped.

Same day service is a plus.

We left for the meeting, thankful that it was warmer than it has been at night, recently. The same crowd of intrepid meeting goers came. The speaker came from one of our rehab houses here in the city.

This particular site offers a 3 month series, in house meetings, counselors, meals, a place to live and they work you into meetings, as you go along. Some don’t want to be there, but some do.

Some make it, but many don’t.

After you complete your stay, you take a two year aftercare journey, which is mandatory for every person there. You are on a short leash.

So all in all, the run lasts for almost 3 years start to finish.

Meeting Makers make it.

We heard “Insanity” for almost an hour. I was waiting for the moment of clarity, so was my friend.

The one thought that got my attention, was his take on “TIME.”

While he was out there, drinking and using and hurting all the wrong people, he lost things; jobs, homes, girlfriends, and so on. His coping skill was to just “wait it out” and somewhere in his head he thought that if he just waited long enough, things would get better.

His drinking and using escalated. His girlfriend dumped him and married someone else. His using got even worse, if it could get any worse, from what he had already detailed for us. He tried to “wait it out” thinking that she would leave her husband and come back to him.

She didn’t.

How many of us, when we are in the thick of it, try “waiting this out, not really hoping for an end to what ails us, but a wait and see, without the expectation of resolution.”

The end finally came. Honesty dawned upon him. And he told on himself.

He got the help he so desperately needed. Now he is clean and sober almost three years. He is still inside the treatment program, but he gets out to his home group, which is on the West End of the city, and he came to us tonight.

When we get sober, “TIME” takes on new meaning.

I learned this lesson the hard way, walking into my first meetings here with expectations on my list of things I thought I wanted. WRONG !!!

It was good, those first few months in Miami that we counted days. I went just to make sure my friends stayed and came each night to count their days. Out of twenty newbies, nineteen made it.

Counting days, is something we don’t do here, because there aren’t many meetings, on consecutive days at the same location, to be able to do that properly. There are a couple, but not seven days or nights a week.

Sobriety is a full time, Four Season, Make it or Break it kind of job.

People count their days with their sponsors. And at certain meetings, we give consecutive month chips. This goes for the M.A. side of things as well. For the most part, we count 30, 90, six months, then the year mark. And multiples thereafter.

We learn, in the beginning, if you are lucky, the lesson about 24 hours in a day, and One Day At a Time.

Time takes on new meaning.

And if you are really lucky, time turns around for you and instead of working against you,

Time works For You.

We learn patience, which takes time. We learn compassion, which takes time.

And we get sober. That definitely takes time.

The more time you put in, the more you get out of it. It’s all about attitude.

You either bemoan getting clean and sober, or you embrace it. If you embrace it, the much needed attitude adjustment begins to take place. That is the miracle of the program.

We move from waiting for the hell to end, to hoping for the good to come.

Everyone has their journey he said. Some take longer to get here. Some make it, some don’t.

He wanted the help. Had he gone a few days longer, his life expectancy was in real danger.

Grateful for his life today, he is alive, happy, joyous and free.

And don’t we all want to be Happy, Joyous and Free ?

Everybody is sober tonight.

Next week, I will have all my guys in the same city again. Saturday my first takes his year.

I am a blessed man. God is good to us. He has moved heaven and earth for my guys.

And I am grateful.

More to come, stay tuned …