My Nightly prayers – Better late than never: Gratitude list
- For Miss. Angela – my guardian angle
- For Miss. Louise – who set me on the Monks path
- For Miss Nikki – who cares well beyond the call of duty
- For Jacob who makes me work hard to be honest and authentic
- For Peter who keeps me honest
- For Royal Bank who saved us financially
- For air in my lungs and life in this old body still
- For all those who sent gifts, cards and well wishes
- For those of you who read and DO NOT leave comments EVER!!
Find your passion – Do it – Money will follow.
“Dedicate yourself to offering others all you can do to make their lives better, Be Truly outstanding in every element of your professional and your personal life. The money will follow, this I guarantee you.
Money is the unintended yet inevitable byproduct of a life spent helping others get what they want. Money is nothing more than the payment rendered by the universe in return for value you have added to others. As you sow, so shall you reap.
And once you can develop some emotional engagement around a pursuit, rather and simply an intellectual one, the excitement flows and the energy explodes.
Find your cause, and then do your work with pride and love – love is such an incredible force for good. Do it with a devotion to excellence, the world will reward you in unimaginable ways.
No matter how insignificant the thing you have to do, do it as well as you can, give as much of your care and attention as you would give to the thing you regard as most important.
“One sage said it brilliantly when he recognized that life is like a river with two banks. On one bank we will find happiness and on the other we will see sorrow. As we move along the river, we will brush up against both banks. The real trick is not to stay stuck on either one too long.”
Life must unfold for us – destiny with eventually find us, if we are properly prepared to visualize it and know where to look for it.
Live had its seasons, its chapter, if you will. And the hard times are ultimately the times that sculpt us into something better.
Basic Principles to Live By:
- Always help others get what they want while you get what you want.
- Have impeccable integrity
- Live in the present moment
- Become the kindest person you know
- Do your best and be excellent in all you do
- Be true to yourself
- And, Dream Bravely
This is for Angela
If a person loves being a writer – her heart soars when she’s alone in front of her computer, writing with great conviction and passion as if nothing else mattered – her soul’s purpose and passion as if nothing else mattered – her soul’s purpose will not likely be for her to become a door-to-door salesperson.
The universe really does what you to win. The plan is for you to be very happy indeed….
Callie I loved him, knew him, Mourned him
Carl was sick, and he died.
All the men in this quad were from the bar
Jorge, Ricky and I worked in Reservations at(then-RCCL)
on Dodge Island.
Pedro Zamora – Activist, The Real World
Dennis Johnson, the bar owners lover – is spoken
of in my memoirs from the Patti Labelle Concert
at the James L. Knight Center – Before he died.
Where were you on July 4th, 1994?
We you with your family and friends celebrating the July 4th Holiday? Did you BBQ in the back yard, or maybe someone else’s home? Did you see the fireworks, like many of us did?
That was 13 years ago…
I should be dead and buried already.
Over in the Pages under “History” you can read all about it, or re-live it if you wish. To remind all of my readers why my header image is what it is right now, to remind me where I have been and to keep me vigilant of where I am and grateful for being able to look ahead to the future.
Because doctors believed that I would live – That I had that “spark of life” not to mention a different strain than the rest, that something “other” than AIDS that killed all of my friends.
Those are my flowers on his quilt – he visited many displays
when it came to Miami
Rory Stewart, author
The Places In Between
Every Canadian should read this book.
My book review to follow this weekend
Many years ago, during the ‘sickest’ era of my AIDS experience, things were really bad for me. I was hospitalized many times from 1995-1998. Tonight on Coast to Coast, they are talking about (O.B.E.’s and N.D.E.’s) This was last nights show, since we are 24 hour tape delay here in Canada.
Below is one of my tether experiences.
The N.D.E. I talk about is the one that happened when I was last in the hospital, I was having severe migraines that were so bad, that I would crawl around on the floor banging my head against the walls of my apartment trying to alleviate the pain. In such cases, I would have to call for help and usually end up in the E.R. for a shot of Toradol I.M. to stop the session from progressing to fruition.
I remember being in the isolation ward, that’s where they always put me – for fear that I would catch something from someone in the E.R. they were very careful with me, because I was a repeat patient. I was laying on the gurney and the doc had been in for triage and he left me to go get the meds I needed.
I was in so much pain, that at one point I separated from my body and rose out of the room, I could see myself and it was up through the tunnel and into a place that was peaceful. I landed on my feet in a garden of immense beauty. I could smell the flowers, I could see hills and green grass as far as the eye could see. I must be sitting in the garden because I was met by a feeling of immense ‘Godliness.’ The garden was beautiful, I can still see it in my minds eye. The closest we come to this is a visual from “What Dreams May Come.”
You know at that point, we have our list of questions to ask the almighty, that’s where I figured I was. I wasn’t at the gate yet, but I thought I should get the questions out before that experienced either ended or I died on the table.
I asked my questions, that was then. And afterwards, they sent me back to my body, telling me that “it wasn’t time yet.” I returned to my body, and in the time that I left my body and returned, they had come back with the shot for me and it was given to me, and I had about an hour to myself to recharge my steam and they would release me to go home.
I returned to the world – minus the answers to my questions. Needless to say I was mift! I went back to my life, and proceeded to live. I guess that experience did not change me in ways that most are changed when they go across and return to talk about it. I made several really bad choices, that I came up a real looser. It took another ‘near death experience’ to get my attention – and that one had nothing to do with heaven, but closer to hell.
It was years later that I was at a workshop with a friend, and I met this man who walked up to me and told me he knew where I had been, and he saw that I was ‘frustrated’ it was like he looked into my soul and saw everything that had happened to me since. And he told me these wise words: “You went across and you asked your questions, and you came back unfulfilled, didn’t you? I told him yes. He then told me that I should take those questions and ask them to the living, and not wait until I was dead to seek the answers. Because once you are dead, there is no need for questions is there?
Since then I have always had those “soul” questions in the front of my brain. And I communicate those questions as they come up to the universe and I wait. I guess there is a reason I am re-printing these stories for you, because life is a journey. The more questions we have, the greater need we have to answer them now, rather than later.
I saw that man once, I never saw him again after that.
I once met a man who knew things about me and spoke to me and told me something wise in a public place once before, when I was much younger. I was working in a grocery store, my first job, to be more exact. I was in junior high school then. I was bagging groceries in a store by my home. The cashier I was bagging for was being stubborn to a woman who did not speak very good English. This elderly man with a black beret and a red and black checked jacket and black pants walked up to me and said “You speak a second language, you should use it because it is a gift for you. Don’t waste the gifts given to you.” Ok, I said, and I translated for the woman standing there.
That elderly man walked into the store and never walked out, he had to pass me to get out of the store because there were no other exits. At the end of the shift I went looking for him, and never found him. He disappeared and I never ever saw him again…
Ok, so now, he’s gone off the deep end…
No not really. These are my experiences. Maybe someone else has had them too…
I wrote this on June 12, 2005 while at my inlaws on an old blog.
In reading Dr. Brian Weiss’ Many lives – Many Masters, I can honestly say, “been there, done that.” For the last few years I have had these nap sessions, my dream states come during intense power naps or at the END of my sleep periods, usually the last 3 hours of my nightly sleep cycle. Anyways, I finished reading the book this afternoon. After everyone left and we broke down the patio and put everything away, Peter and I laid down for a nap, we were exhausted running around all day with 2 kids.
This nap session was 4 hours long, when we both woke up. But I have to say that this session was the most “terrifying” astral trip I have ever been on. As my title says, snapping the tether was necessary to get “across” the divide. This has been happening at home for the last, oh, I would say 6 months, like clockwork every time I went down for a nap. It scared me because i did not know what it meant when the “snap” would occur in my brain, and I would float free out of the bedroom, and my consciousness. Today I understood what the “snap” was and why it was necessary.
On the way out – I noticed the “SNAP” it shook me as I laid in my bed, it always comes as a “JOLT!” as I move from this “plane to my Astral plane, which allows me to move from one place to another, as I wish or as my consciousness selects.
I found myself standing on a platform in the cosmos, kind of like a clear platform “rushing” through space, along with other “astral” travelers. I could see the stars and the planets, yet I was safely “standing” in my little astral travel capsule. I could see that EVERY decision, a “yes or no” and a move forward, move backwards, transfer from one “plane to another” as discussed in the book, was possible. I have traveled “backwards” but only rarely, and those spaces were always in “black and white.” My grandmother’s houses are always shown to me in that mode. They are the only two houses that I go back to and I can “walk” through the house, but I am not allowed to open ANY of the doors. I cannot pass through any portals, and I am told in these spaces that I can only observe and take what I need, that no information will come from “people” in this place; I am always alone in these spaces. I cannot communicate with anyone from these dreams.
So I traveled to this particularly “horrible” place. It scared me so badly that I was hyperventilating in my sleep and it woke me violently when I reached the “end” of this period. The place was very sadistic in nature. The person I “was” then is not the person I am today. What I did to people in this place was truly horrible and sadistic. There were moments of torture and fear, well, allot of torture and fear. Like getting strapped in for a “terrifying train ride from Hell.” There were trains in the dream, traveling at speeds unknown to man, which made it particularly “STRANGE!” because I could not “place” his time anywhere on the logical past life, present life, future life time line. But it was familiar to me. Maybe this has to do with the area of my life that I don’t talk about at all. Because in reflection, I knew “things” as a child that no child should know about. This relates back to my abuse as a child and what my father had done to me early on in my life, possibly!
Anyways, I don’t want to go back to this place ever again, because it was absolutely the most terrifying area I have visited.
There are days, then there are days…
The one true thing I know is that if I don’t start my day with prayer all bets are off the the day will go accordingly. In the morning I take my Christian Prayer book and my rosary and I say my morning prayers. Like I do every morning.
I took a shower and got ready for my day. Today my paper on Paul was due, and I was confident that I wrote a sound paper, with good sourcing and edited writing to make sure it was perfect. A perk of being married to my hubby means he can edit my papers when I need him to, since he is an English Lit. major. He writes brilliantly, much better than I do.
I went into class and thanked the prof for the extension, and I asked him if he was going to talk about Paul, because that was the reading today and he said yes. So I hung on to my paper during class, so I would have my talking points in front of me and he announces to the class that “Paul was his specialty. His favorite subject to talk about and teach!” I looked up to heaven and said “I’m fucked!” It is one thing presenting a paper on a topic in the class, it is totally another animal when the paper you’ve just spent the better part of a week on is “right up the Prof’s alley!” No pressure at all, right!!!
It was a great lecture and I got a few good digs in but he refuted some of my sources and their writings! UGH!! We can only pray that he is good to me when he reads the paper. After class I set out for Alexis Nihon for our day of beauty at the salon. It was busy today and while Tanya was washing my hair she asked about what I wanted to do, and I said I like the short look right now. I sat down in the chair and she hiked me up and brought out the heavy machinery. She started on the back, I didn’t think to check what number she was clipping with, when she got to the side of my head and took the first swipe I almost fainted, I was like, what the hell are you doing? “Well, I thought you wanted it short? Yes, short, but not buzzed like a military man!” She laughed and said, “well, it’s too late to stop now you better let me finish!” I was groaning in my chair! It came out nice, so I look like a military man, with a buzz cut on the sides. Hubby likes it, maybe that will gain me points in other areas this weekend! he he he he
Tis like angels fly out of yer arse!!!
There are moments of your day which are totally un-scripted and surprising. On the way home we were walking down Ste. Catherine’s Street and on the block across the street from home are a series of restaurants. We passed the noodle shop and someone started banging on the window to get our attention. It was my friend Karen. She invited me to a Sister Michelina Memorial retreat on the 25th of this month and also to the university mass for Sister on Tuesday afternoon. The day of the funeral, last Thursday we had a blinding snow storm that paralyzed the city. We did not make it to the funeral as planned. You can see this was a dare from God, “come on leave the house and trek through three feet of snow across town to the funeral, I know you can make it!! Even if the buses can’t!
Ha Ha no thanks…
So I have two commitments in the next couple of weeks. Which will be nice because I haven’t had the opportunity to meet the new resident Chaplain for the “Chapel community yet.” And it will give us a chance to see old friends who might be there and go to mass in the chapel, since I don’t go to the chapel because it is on the West end of town, a trek from here on Sunday mornings, especially on snow days and ( – 20c temps). I have been sticking close to home by going to mass downtown at The Christ Church Cathedral because it is on the green line and only 3 stops up from home. I can walk there on nice days – it only takes 20 minutes to walk to the McGill Metro.
There is a lot going on in the world. I was watching tv tonight and I commented to hubby that “you know, if the media reported real stories that mattered, we wouldn’t have all this shit on entertainment television.” I mean, God forbid we don’t get celebrity gossip for one week, the world would crackle… And if it isn’t war news, it’s terrorism, plane crashes, disasters and insanity. At least in Canada we get “some good stories” of success and accomplishments and medical breakthroughs. What if the world’s insatiable appetite for gossip was abated, and the world’s wars were to come to a close, and WE IMPEACHED President Bush and Vice President Cheney and we ended the Republican waste of money, life and liberty!! What if all these things ended tomorrow, what would the news and entertainment shows report?
On the 17th of March there will be a March on the Pentagon to begin proceedings to Impeach the President of the United States of America. That movement is gaining steam as we speak. With Scooter looking at 25 years in Prison, we hope he gets sentenced before Bushy leaves office because with his leaving office he can “Pardon” his friends in tighty whitey spots!!! The Impeachment website: http://www.impeach07.org You can read about it on Rosie’s Blog. March for Justice – March for Peace…
Join us in bringing the President and his cronies to JUSTICE !!!
Did we just shake our heads about the Top 12 on American Idol! I think the panel was shocked as well. People who should have gone home made it to the Top 12, and people who should have stayed were voted off!! What The Hell Were You Kids Thinking??? At least that horrid Antonella got sent packing. Sad that Sundance got sent home as well. Oh well, I guess we didn’t vote in Big Enough Numbers.
This is going to be a DIVA SHOWDOWN of Mega Proportions, mark my words. Lakisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle are going to throw it down and the boys better get ready for that showdown. Because if the guys continue this piss poor performance route they are on, this is just going to be a one sided show.
Chris Sligh, Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis are my top three guy picks.It is going to get hot in the next few weeks. With Diana Ross coming to the house, it is going to get fierce!
We shall see.
Ok, it’s 3:20 a.m. I need to get to bed, until tomorrow my babies…
Oh, I forgot to mention that Canadian IDOL is auditioning singers at the Pepsi Forum, right up the block from here, tomorrow and Saturday. So I will report on that over the weekend. Maybe we will get to spy Ben Mulroney and the judges from Canadian Idol this weekend. We shall see…